Chapter 26
“Good morning, Dr. Fischer,” Linney said, seeing the familiar man come into her room.
“You’re looking better,” he said, matter-of-factly. She felt better. Freida had helped her wash her hair and until she could shower properly, it would do. She felt almost human. A broken human, but it was a significant improvement.
As usual, he examined her to see how things were coming along, but she noticed he had a serious look on his face the whole time. “How do things look?” she asked tentatively.
“I’m happy with how you’re healing,” he said. “Your bruises are starting to fade. The incisions look good and I like that you are walking so much.” He flipped through her chart. “This is good.”
“I hear a ‘but’ in your voice, Doctor.” Linney was nervous. An ophthalmologist had been to see her yesterday and carried out several tests. “Is it my eye?”
“I’m sorry to say, Ms. McDonnell, but it seems you have suffered some permanent damage to your optical nerve.” Dr. Fischer got straight to the point. “We will observe for another day or two, but it is possible you may not regain sight in that eye.” Linney noticed Mac in the doorway. He’d heard, and she hated the pity in his eyes. The doctor went on to explain about therapies that would help her adjust, but she didn’t hear much.
Mac talked about how enriching a career in the London newsroom would be. It was clear he didn’t want her back in the field and she was sad as she felt this phase of her career slipping away, years before it should. When he left to take a phone call from the newsroom, Linney had a little cry and then wiped her tears. She didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself. She was looking forward to MJ coming in a couple of days. Mac being there was one thing, but she needed a girlfriend.
“You okay?” Mac asked when he came back. Linney’s nose looked a little pink, and he felt like something was off.
“Yep. Just thinking about all the things I have to do.”
“Like what?” he demanded. “All you should be thinking about is resting.”
“I will,” she promised, “First I need a new laptop. And something to read!” Linney knew that as she spent more hours awake, she would need something to keep her occupied. Mac helped her order a new computer, which would be delivered straight to the hospital and she sent him to buy magazines from the gift shop in the hospital lobby.
Later that day, Linney steeled herself for a different conversation with Mac. It was time. When she signed the last of the rehab paperwork she shoved away the clipboard. “Well, that’s it. So you know what that means, Mac.”
He looked pained.
“Go home, Mac. Go back to the newsroom. You can’t keep babysitting me here. It’s not good for either of us.”
“No. Not yet.”
“Yes, now.” Linney’s voice was quiet but strong. She couldn’t let him feel guilty about this. “You have a whole newsroom to run.”
“Are you sure? Maybe I should stay longer. Until you’re feeling a little better.”
Linney sighed. Just like before, it was going to be her who had to be strong. “Mac, it hasn’t been your job to take care of me for a long time, and anyway, MJ’s coming. I appreciate you being here, but you are my boss. Let’s remember that.”
Mac took her hand and squeezed it tight. “It’s because of you that I’m even here at all. Almost six years sober. I thank God for that every day but I don’t know if I ever thanked you.”
“You did all the hard work,” Linney reminded him, and then she grinned wryly. “Gemma and I just gave you a swift kick in the rear. Now go. Pack up your stuff and get back to London. It’s where you belong.”
Mac opened his mouth to object, but Linney held her ground.
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is. And it’s what we both need.”
Mac nodded slowly and with a final squeeze of her hand, he admitted defeat. “I’ll see you back in London.”
And then he was gone.
Linney sat with the silence for a while. Initially, she wondered if she’d done the right thing. The room was empty without Mac’s presence. To fill it, she called Derek.
“Do you have any more news about your eye?” he asked.
“It’s not good,” she said and Derek held his breath waiting for her to continue. “The damage is permanent. My hip and my ribs will heal, but my eye won’t.”
“I don’t know what to say. Are you sure I can’t come?”
“No,” she sniffled. “Just tell me something good. Tell me what your kids are up to.” Derek launched into the latest escapades of Leo and Ivy, keeping up cheery one-sided banter while she listened, trying not to cry.
* * *
Freida continuedto help Linney go on frequent short walks, but cabin fever was setting in. She was glad when her new laptop arrived. After unpacking it and doing all the setup, she wasted no time. She ordered some loose pull-on pants, T-shirts, sweaters, slip-on shoes, and a nightgown and slippers that could arrive quickly and would be easy to put on. She couldn’t wait to get out of her hospital gown. The hospital was being quite accommodating in letting her have deliveries. She sent MJ a list of things to pick up from her flat including the quilt from her reading chair, with some face creams and makeup. She wanted to start covering the bruises on her face that were all now turning nasty shades of green and yellow.
Linney’s eyes lit up when MJ arrived. She held out her arms as MJ dropped her bags on the floor. She hadn’t even stopped at her hotel first.
“Can I hug you? I need to hug you.” She did her best not to react to the state of Linney’s injuries, but Linney saw it in her eyes.
Linney nodded. “But gently. My ribs!” She sucked in a breath as MJ squeezed her.
“Did I hurt you?” MJ sprang back. “I’m so sorry. I’m just glad to see you. What about here? Can I sit on the corner of your bed?”
“Sit down. Tell me everything new with you? I’m so tired of hospital talk,” she said, closing her eyes wearily.
MJ perched on the end of the bed. “I am so glad to see you. I’ll save my questions for tomorrow.” And with that, she was off on a monologue about London and the newsroom that didn’t stop until she saw Linney yawn.
She pulled the quilt from her bag and held it out. Linney reached for it gratefully. “A little bit of home. Thank you.” She stifled another yawn and with a kiss, MJ took her leave.
“Sleep well. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
MJ was better prepared the next morning, both mentally and with treats. She arrived with German pastries and steaming cups of coffee—far superior to the hospital food Linney had been eating. Linney had more energy, so they took a very slow stroll around the hospital floor. When they came back to her room, Linney’s package had arrived. MJ helped her dress, jokingly admonishing her for the plainness of the pull-on pants and T-shirts, but she understood they were required for the time being.
“When will they let you come home?” MJ asked tentatively after lunch.
“It’s complicated,” Linney admitted. “I think I’ll be sprung from the hospital in about a week. But I can’t travel. So I’ll go to a rehabilitation facility for a while. And then? Well, I guess I’ll come back to London to the newsroom. Mac will find me an editing job. I think my foreign assignment days are over.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault. I just hoped I’d have longer in the field.” She was still frustrated by that, and felt like being back in London would be a demotion. “But before anything else, I have to get back on my feet.” She blinked back tears.
“Another spin around the floor?” MJ asked, trying to change the subject. Linney swiped at her eyes, nodded her head, and slowly stood up. “Your forehead is looking better today,” MJ said.
“Yeah, I think the bruise will be gone soon. And the stitches are getting itchy. I hope they come out soon too. I guess it’s all signs of healing.”
They turned the corner, Linney shuffling a little less than she had yesterday. MJ glanced at her. “And are they sure about your vision?” Linney had told her the diagnosis, but her friend’s bright blue eyes looked exactly the same to her.
“It looks that way. I’ll have another specialist look at it when I get back to London, but it doesn’t seem likely. I’m still learning about what restrictions that will mean for me.” They walked in silence, and when they got back to her room, Linney winced as she bumped her shoulder on the doorframe. “I’ll be so glad to get rid of this walker.”
Together, they watched a movie on Linney’s laptop to pass the afternoon and MJ snuck out to get a takeout meal of bratwurst and sauerkraut. “And black forest cake for dessert!” she exclaimed. As they tucked in, MJ told Linney she had news. “Toronto called. They’re courting me for a position back in Canada to head up digital globally.”
“That’s amazing—congratulations! I’ll miss you, but we can catch up when I get home for the holidays.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m considering it, but there are still things I want to do in London. I’m not sure this is the right time.”
After dinner, MJ and Linney made one last lap around the floor before MJ reluctantly said she had to go. “My flight is early tomorrow. The news never stops.”
“Even if I’m not the one reporting it,” Linney joked. “Go on. I’ll be fine. But you’d better let me know what you decide about Toronto!”
MJ leaned down to hug Linney—gently this time. “I will. Now you call if you need anything. I’m coming back when you’re settled at rehab. And I’ll freshen up your flat when they let you come home.”
“You are one of my favourite people,” Linney whispered in her ear. “Thank you so much for coming.”
With just her laptop to keep her company, Linney willed herself to heal. Little by little, she was starting to feel more like herself, but she was impatient. The bruises continued to fade, and when her stitches were removed, she could cover the last of them with makeup, but her ribs continued to bother her and walking was ridiculously tiring, she complained to Derek. She still needed a walker, but she was determined.
Finally the day came when Dr. Fischer came into her room wearing a big smile to give her the news.
“Today is the day, Ms. McDonnell,” he told her. “You are healing nicely. I can’t think of any reason to keep you here any longer.”
Linney thought that news would make her happy, and it did, but it also filled her with nervousness and she was on the edge of her seat all day. She called MJ who instantly started planning to visit again. She called Jake to tell him she was done with hospitals. And of course, she called Derek, excited to be one step closer to getting her life back.
Unfortunately, moving to rehab was not quite as quick and easy as Linney expected. It took all day for the papers to be ready for her release from the hospital and for arrangements to be made with the facility and the transfer service. She had hoped to be graduating to crutches or a cane so was disappointed to learn that the walker was coming with her, and worse, that the transfer required a wheelchair.
It was late in the evening before the service attendant picked her up from the hospital and wheeled her into the beautiful facility. Linney carried her few possessions—the duffle bag of pull-on pants, a couple of books, and her computer—on top of the quilt on her lap. The attendant left her in the hands of a young nurse, who took her place behind her chair and wheeled her into the reception area.
“I am Ilse,” she introduced herself. “After you have filled in some forms, I will take you to your suite and we will get you settled in.”
“More forms?” Linney couldn’t imagine there could be any more.
“Ja, I am afraid so.” Ilse laughed brightly. “Our German bureaucracy demands much paperwork.”
Fortunately, it was only one last signature, and Ilse whisked Linney off to a suite with a bedroom, a sitting room, and a tiny kitchenette with a fridge, a kettle, and a microwave. “I think you will like your new home. We’ll have you more independent in no time.” Linney saw all the new bouquets. “You seem to have a few admirers,” Ilse continued as she spun around to face Linney with friendly, laughing eyes. “Linney knew right then that she was going to like Ilse.