Chapter 32
32
He kissed the back of her hand and nodded, resolute.
“The IL plane took off about an hour before Karim was due to land at McCarran.” His eyes clouded with regret at the memory. “I was so damned pleased with myself that I’d won. Farrah was ecstatic, and we started partying hard on the plane. We stopped over in LA to pick up a few more people. I suspect they were the ones who brought the drugs on board—I was too off my head with booze to enforce the no-drugs policy. I went to sleep and woke up somewhere over the Pacific. Farrah wasn’t in bed, so I went to look for her.” He stopped and swallowed. His eyes had turned dark with ravaging anguish.
“I found her on the sky deck. She had heroin next to her body. At first I thought she was dead. But I found a pulse. I held her until we landed back in LA. But the damage was too much. She went into a coma, and the doctors declared her brain dead.”
“Oh God, Zach.”
He shut his eyes and leaned heavily on her. “I was twenty-five. With a wife who was technically dead, in-laws who blamed me for everything, and a police force who thought I was a privileged asshole who deserved jail-time for putting a young girl on life support. Luckily, the cops didn’t find enough drugs on the plane for them to charge me. So I dodged that bullet.” His voice reeked with bitter mockery. “Then the doctors started talking about shutting off her life support. I hated that responsibility, but as her husband, it was down to me. I tried to talk to her parents about it. Fawad and Karim point-blank refused. Nabila… She just wanted Farrah to be at peace. We agreed to hire experts to get as much information as possible. I made it happen. Every single one of them confirmed she was… gone.”
Bethany’s hand speared into his hair, and his arms banded tight around her. She felt a touch of moisture on her chest and realized Zach was crying. Her big, powerfully magnificent man was breaking down in her arms.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. It’s okay.”
He shuddered and slowly raised his head. Tears spiked his lashes and smeared over pale, taut cheeks. She wiped them away and kissed his trembling lips.
Gritting his jaw, he continued. “Her family argued back and forth about the decision, and they resented the fact that her life, such as it was, was in my hands. And I… I wanted it to be over.”
She jerked, and his arms tightened.
“No. I don’t mean her life. I meant fighting with her family, watching their suffering and knowing I was responsible.”
“You weren’t responsible. She chose her own path, and you went out of your way to help her over and over when many people would’ve walked away at the first sign of trouble.”
“Knowing that didn’t make it any easier. I should’ve made sure the drugs never got on board the plane or anywhere near her.”
She didn’t argue. In his own way, Zach was working his way through his guilt. She needed to let him. “How long was she on life support?”
“Six weeks. And every day was hell. I was torn between letting her go and sparing her family the final goodbye. But I woke up one morning and realized I couldn’t do it anymore.” He released a shaky breath. “I called Nabila and she agreed they would meet me at the hospital. But she got there before me.” He gave a fractured laugh wracked with torment. “I think she suspected I would chicken out, and I had by the time I reached the hospital. When I got to Farrah’s room, she was there on her own without Fawad or Karim. She told me her daughter was now really dead and I needed to do the right thing and let her go. I had no idea what she meant. Until she showed me the empty morphine syringe in her purse.”
Ice slithered down her spine. “My God! Did you… What did you do?”
His jaw clenched tight for so long, Bethany thought he wouldn’t answer. When his gaze met hers, her heart shredded for him. “I called the doctor and arranged to switch off her life support.”
“And you let Nabila go?”
“The way I saw it, the events leading to Farrah ending up on that bed, hooked up to machines, was all on me. What good would it have done to destroy her family as well? Deep down, I knew she would never wake up, but guilt held me back from doing what needed to be done.”
“So the doctors didn’t suspect anything?”
“No one knew. The only way to find out whether Nabila had really injected her with morphine would’ve been to request an autopsy. I couldn’t do it. I turned off the machine and… killed her.” More tears welled in his beautiful eyes. He blinked them back and swallowed. “Then I arranged for the records to be destroyed. Now you know everything.”
Her insides shook as she grappled with the enormity of what Zach had divulged. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
“Thank you.”
“Baby, what—” He stiffened as a knock came on the door.
Stanley poked his head through the door. “They’re threatening to walk, Zach.”
Zach cursed and looked at her.
Taking a deep breath, Bethany stood and returned to her seat. “We’re ready.”
Stanley’s gaze swung from her to Zach, then he nodded and retreated.
“Bethany—”
“Go easy on Karim. He loved his sister. He’s reacting from a place of pain.”
Zach’s jaw flexed. “He came after you. I can’t excuse that.”
“I know. But do it for me.”
His eyes gleamed as he watched her. “You know how to knock my fucking legs out from underneath me, don’t you?”
Her smile made his breath catch. “I’ve had a great teacher.”
She was aware of Zach’s intense gaze on her face as the others walked back in, but she wanted to get this done as quickly as possible so she could be alone with him. To tell him what he’d been yearning to hear. What he needed to hear.
Farrah’s father looked shell-shocked and her brother was much more subdued than he’d been twenty minutes ago. Nabila’s eyes met hers and skittered away. Despite what she’d just learned about her, Bethany’s heart ached for her.
She turned to Stanley Reed. “I’m ready to sign the agreement,” she said.
* * *
“You’re very quiet, Peaches.”
Zach watched her raise her head from where she’d rested it on his chest. Clear blue eyes met his and some of his panic abated a little. She’d been silent since they’d left his attorney’s office, and the coward in him hadn’t wanted to push his luck. But not knowing what she was thinking had finally become unbearable.
“It’s a lot to process.”
He held his breath. “But?”
“But I’m glad I know. We can deal with it, Zach. We will deal with it. I’m not going anywhere.”
His breath fractured out of him, and he pulled her soft body closer. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”
“You’re not a monster, Zach. You were caught up in a series of circumstances that you couldn’t control. You hated that loss of control and have been punishing yourself for it ever since. It’s time to let it go. To let Farrah go. I’m insecure enough to admit that I don’t want any woman, dead or alive, coming between us. I can’t handle it.”
“You won’t have to. Nothing and no one will come between us. Believe that.”
Her eyes clouded and her mouth trembled. “Karim said she would’ve turned twenty-eight two weeks ago. That night you were dreaming about her. It was her birthday, wasn’t it?”
Tension gripped his neck as the ground shook beneath his feet. They’d come so far. But still he couldn’t let go of the fear that he could lose her. “Yes.”
“God, Zach, I’m barely managing to process the fact that you bought the Marrakech house for her. After she was dead. Please don’t tell me you took me there as some form of guilty substitute?”
Shock jerked through him, and he grabbed her arms so she could face him properly. “Are you fucking insane? How the hell did you come up with that?”
“Because you built a shrine to her!”
His jaw worked. “No, I didn’t.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I didn’t build that memorial. Her family did. She told me how much she loved the place. When I saw it, I knew why. I didn’t think it was a big deal to buy the house and let them put up the memorial. And frankly, I wasn’t in a position to deny them.”
“You didn’t build it?”
He shook his head. “No. And I took you there because I had no choice. I didn’t want to be without you after I met you, and I knew deep down that would be the last time I went there. Before I came up to bed that night, I went to say goodbye.”
The shadows slowly receded from her eyes. “God.”
“Is that a good ‘God’ or should I be even more terrified than I am right now?”
Her eyes widened. “You’re terrified? Why?”
“I don’t deserve you, Bethany. Every time I hold you in my arms, I’m scared it’ll be the last time.”
She yanked herself from his arms and released her seatbelt.
His breath slammed out of his lungs when she launched herself onto his lap and took his face between her hands. “You really, really need to get over this belief that I’m going to walk any minute. Or I’ll have to teach you a lesson.”
Excitement washed away a little of his panic. He forced himself to relax in the seat as she spread her fingers in his hair and dragged her nails against his scalp.
“Hmm, I should warn you I was never a very good student.”
“You’re asking to be punished, Savage?”
“What can I say? I’m having very dirty thoughts about the teacher.”
The swiftness with which the atmosphere turned from pain and misery to happiness blew him away. But that was what Bethany brought to his life.
Happiness.
Something tugged hard in his chest as he watched her stunning face turn even more exquisite with her saucy smile. “Well, it’s a good thing you happen to be the teacher’s pet.”
Her hands went to his shirt buttons and started undoing them. His hands slid from her waist to grip her ass as she undulated her hips over his hardening cock.
Her mouth bypassed his hungry lips straight for his jugular. She tongued his escalating pulse and laughed under her breath when he cursed.
“Bite me,” he urged roughly.
“Hmm.” She complied. He jerked at the not-so-gentle graze of her teeth. “You taste so good,” she murmured.
“Bethany? Do I need to tell Philip to keep driving or do you want to go home?”
She slowly raised her head and stared down at him. Her face grew serious as she took his face in her hands. “Let’s go home.”