Chapter 18 #2
I follow his line of sight to the back of the bar where the women are seated, only they’re not alone anymore.
Ruby has her back to the table, elbows propped on the surface, and there’s a man standing in front of her.
He’s not someone I recognize, but the way he’s looking at Ruby tells me he knows exactly who she is.
She laughs in his face and stares up at him, that one dimple appearing in the left cheek.
I lock eyes with Paige, and she shakes her head.
The man’s hand moves to Ruby’s thigh and I see red. I down my drink and start to stand, but Cade stops me with a hand on my shoulder.
“Let her handle it,” he says. “You don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”
Ruby forcibly removes the man’s hand from her body. He says something else, and she rears back like he’s slapped her. I’m up and across the bar in seconds, shoving him away from her.
With one fist tangled in the front of his shirt, I ask, “What did this piece of shit say?”
“Nothing,” Ruby says. “It’s fine, Liam. Let him go.”
I pin the asshole against the wall with my forearm. If she won’t tell me, I’ll get it out of him instead. “What the fuck did you say to my girl?”
“Your girl?” He laughs and looks around me toward Ruby. “This asshole your boyfriend?”
“Don’t fucking look at her.”
“Listen, man. It’s not my fault she was being a fucking cock tease. Little Miss Perfect thinks she’s too fucking good for me.”
I pull my fist back, ready to plow into his face, when a pair of gentle hands wraps around my biceps. “Don’t. He’s not worth it,” Ruby says.
I lower my arm and release him from my grip. “Get out. Don’t let me see you in this bar ever again.”
“You can’t do that,” he stammers.
Cade and Miles join us.
“He can and he did,” Cade says. “We don’t take kindly to our women being harassed.” They escort him from the building without question, and I’m left standing face to face with an irate Ruby.
“I can take care of myself,” she says.
I pull her against me and cup her cheek. “I know. But you shouldn’t have to. Are you ok?”
She nods and swipes her hands down her jeans like she’s trying to wipe away all traces of that dickhead. “I’m fine.”
I scan her face, taking in her flushed cheeks and the fiery determination in her eyes. I’m ravenous for it—for her. My gaze dips to her lips, and she leans in. With the smallest movement, I could close the distance—I could finally know what it’s like to be wholly and completely hers.
Unbidden, my mind recalls the scene from moments ago when that motherfucker had his hands on her, and I falter. My hand drops away from her cheek, and her expression instantly sobers.
Without another word, she shoves past me out the back door, not bothering to look back. I’m not letting her get away that easily.
Halfway through the lot, she whirls around, kicking up dust in the gravel. “Leave me alone, Liam. ”
I rear back at the sudden sting of bitterness in her voice. “Are you mad at me?”
Her mouth drops open and she cocks her head to the side, eyes wide in disbelief. “You can’t be serious right now. Of course I’m mad.”
“Ruby—I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry?”
I lift a hand to touch her, but she slaps it away and shoves at my chest. “No. Don’t touch me.
Not unless you’re ready to tell me why you won’t fucking kiss me.
” When I don’t respond, she continues. “You really think I haven’t noticed?
Every time you pull away, I fucking die a little on the inside. ”
My stomach sinks. I take several measured steps toward her, backing her closer to my truck and closing the meager distance between us. “Do you really want to know why I haven’t kissed you?”
“Yes!” she bellows, throwing her fists down at her sides. “Yes. I deserve to know why you’ll fuck me senseless but refuse to give me something as simple as a kiss.”
My nostrils flare as I press her up against the back passenger door.
One hand wraps possessively around her throat while the other palms her hip.
“Kissing you is anything but simple. The second I taste you, the moment I feel your perfect fucking mouth on mine, it will never be enough.” I pinch my eyes shut and breathe in her scent. It grounds me the way it always has.
I release my grip on her throat to trail my hand higher, tenderly cradling her jaw. There’s a slight hitch in her breath as my thumb swipes over her mouth, tugging down on her bottom lip before releasing it.
“It’s barely enough to touch you, tease you, make you come undone beneath me, but these lips—the ones that sing the most incredible lyrics—the ones everyone else gets to witness but never taste, the ones that pleaded with me to take you away all those years ago, these lips won’t ever fucking belong to me, so I refuse to take them. ”
Her breathing grows ragged, her chest heaving with the force of it. “Why not?” she rasps. “Why can’t they belong to you? Why can’t I belong to you?”
I swallow against the tightness in my throat.
“You’re Ruby Lynn Hayes. You play stadiums all around the world.
You shine brighter than anyone I’ve ever fucking known, and you deserve someone who will be able to proudly share that spotlight with you.
You’re the sun, Ruby, and I would only be your eclipse. ”
My hands drop away, and I take a step back, putting some distance between me and the woman I love so goddamn much it hurts. I know losing her would be a far worse fate than never having her at all.
“I don’t want to be Ruby Lynn Hayes. Not to you. I have to perform for everyone else, but with you I get to be myself.”
“You worked your ass off to make a name for yourself. I won’t take that away from you.”
“Liam…” Her voice cracks when she says my name. “Why are you pushing me away?”
Because it’s easier to push you away than admit I never want to let you go. But I can’t say that.
I pull open the passenger door. “Get in the truck, Goldie. I’m taking you home.”
“But…”
“I said get in the goddamn truck.”
Her eyes widen, and she straightens her spine, then she gives me a jerky nod before sliding into the truck.
When we arrive back at the house, Ruby unceremoniously throws open the door and rushes up the front steps. Once she’s out of sight, I slam my palms against the steering wheel. “Fuck.”
Ruby
It’s been a full day since our first fight, and I’ve been keeping to myself. Aiden’s still under the weather, so I’ve checked on him sporadically throughout the day, making sure to come and go before Liam notices me.
Normally, in situations like this, I’d run to Liam for comfort. Who do I run to when the man who usually talks me down is the one who broke me in the first place?
I could talk to Mama, but she’d give me the same old ‘head or heart’ talk she always gives us when things get tough. “Are you going to listen to your head, or to your heart, Ruby girl?” she’d ask.
Problem is, my head is telling me to take what I can get, but my heart is saying it’ll never be enough. It seems Liam and I are having the same struggle for different reasons. I want to give him everything, but he refuses to accept it.
Unable to sleep, I head outside, not expecting to see my truck parked in the driveway.
Liam must’ve picked up Dolly from the bar at some point.
I pop open the tailgate like I used to do all those years ago.
I often wonder if I did it subconsciously in hopes that Liam would appear.
He always did, without fail, like a physical manifestation of my deepest desires. I doubt he’ll show up tonight.
I cross my arms over my chest and rub my shoulders to soothe the bone-deep chill. That’s where Connor finds me some time later, still perched in the same spot, staring out at the landscape, with no answers to the questions that have been plaguing me all day.
“Didn’t think I’d ever see you here,” I say.
“Went to get a drink and saw you sitting out here alone. Here.” He hands me one of Liam’s hoodies and hops up beside me.
I pull it over my head and take a long inhale, surrounded by Liam’s scent.
“Dolly’s still running? I’m surprised.”
“Hey. Don’t insult my truck.”
He holds up his hands in surrender, a wide smile breaking out on his handsome face. He looks a lot like Liam in some ways, but the smile is different. Lighter. “You always did like it out here,” he says. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”
“Surprised you noticed.”
“I tried not to,” he admits. “It wasn’t me you wanted with you, anyway, was it?”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”
“He ignored my advice, I take it?”
My eyes narrow on him. “What advice?”
He shrugs. “Told him to kiss you.”
I let out a hollow laugh. “Nope.”
“Look, I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk about this with, but I’m here, and I know my brother better than anyone else. You can talk to me. We could… be friends.”
“Yeah? You wanna make bracelets? Do a blood oath? Matching tattoos? Oh! I know. Secret handshake.”
He bumps his shoulder against mine, smirking. “Ha ha. Very funny.”
“I have my moments.” I hold out my pinky finger between us, and I flash back to a similar moment years ago when he promised he’d stick by me if I ever made it big in Nashville. The promise was hollow then, but we were kids, and what kid hasn’t broken a pinky promise or two? “Friends?”
He links his much larger finger around mine and echoes the word back at me. “Friends.”
I lean my head on his shoulder and look up at the stars. “He’s holding back because of my fame. Wow… that sounds so pretentious.”
Connor chuckles and picks up my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“You know, I read somewhere that Dolly was married for almost sixty years. They kept their relationship private because her husband didn’t like the limelight.
WWDD is a good litmus test for life. So, Ruby Lynn Hayes… what would Dolly do?”
I smile quietly to myself. “Probably write a song about it.”
“Yeah. I bet she would.”
We stay like that for a while until the screen door opens again and Liam appears, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. He looks disheveled, but he’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever known, inside and out. It hurts to see him knowing he’s determined to keep me at arm’s length.
“Better late than never,” Connor whispers. He hops off the tailgate. “‘Night, Ruby.”
“Goodnight, bestie,” I say, waggling my pinky finger.
Connor approaches Liam and whispers something before patting his shoulder and striding into the house.
“Mind if I join you?”
I shrug indignantly and look away.
The truck dips as Liam climbs into the back. He settles with his back pressed against the side wall, one leg hanging off the tailgate, while he props his arm on the other. The carefree posture is doing something for me, but I wish it wouldn’t. I wish I didn’t care.
“I’m sorry for the way I handled things last night,” he says.
“The part where you almost kissed me again or the part where you barked at me to get in the truck like a stray fucking dog?”
“All of it. Baby—”
There’s that stupid fucking nickname again.
I love it and hate it in equal measure. I want to melt for the tenderness of it, but all it does is lure me in with promises of things Liam doesn’t seem willing to give me.
I refuse to beg for scraps of his affection.
I won’t allow myself to be reeled back in by sweet endearments and platitudes.
“No. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to say you don’t want me, then call me baby in the next breath.”
“When did I say I don’t want you? That couldn’t be further from the truth. I want you so goddamn bad it hurts. Wanting you is not the problem.”
“Then what is the problem, Liam?”
“Keeping you.” His voice is pained, like it cost him so much to say the words out loud. I can see in his eyes that it did.
He drops his knee and leans forward, placing one hand on my thigh. “I’ve seen what loving someone can do. I’ve seen it tear apart families. Cause kind men to become cruel.”
“Your parents,” I murmur, finally putting the pieces together. “Liam, that’s hardly the blueprint.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You grew up in a picture perfect family on a picture perfect ranch. You spent your childhood in a kind and loving home. I… didn’t. Every person I’ve ever loved has left, and the ones who didn’t… they did everything they could to break me.”
I place my palm on his cheek, needing to touch some part of him. “I’m not them. I know you put up walls to protect yourself, but you don’t need them with me. Your heart is safe in my hands. I promise.”
His palm traps mine where it lies, and he leans into my touch. “I don’t know if I can be what you need.”
That’s when I see them—the cracks in his armor, the self-doubt creeping in through old wounds that never fully healed.
Liam has spent his entire life taking care of everyone around him.
He runs into burning buildings to save strangers and rescues mischievous cats from trees.
He’ll drive hell for leather down the back roads on a whim for a girl with a broken heart, but who’s there for Liam when the smoke clears?
Who chases away his demons and faces down the darkness with him when life becomes too much to bear?
I could do that for him. I could be his savior if he lets me.
I glide my thumb along his cheekbone and press my lips to his forehead like he often does for me, hoping it stirs up the same sense of calm. “I only need you.”
Maybe that’s not what he needs to hear. Liam has enough people who need him. He needs someone to choose him. So, I do. I’ll choose him every day if that’s what it takes.
“I want you, Liam. All of you. Every imperfect piece of you.”
He buries his face in my neck and inhales deeply, placing a soft kiss against my collarbone. “Don’t think you know what it means to hear you say that.”
“Need me to say it again?”
“Only if you mean it.”
I cradle both of his cheeks in my palms and let myself fall a little deeper into those familiar green depths. “I want you.”
His posture relaxes, and he presses his forehead against mine. “You have me.”