Chapter 9 #2
“It wasn’t,” I insist as I approach her.
Her back straightens, arming herself, appearing to keep me at bay.
“Danny . . . you know he’s a complicated subject for me.
I saw him earlier, after our argument, and we talked for a bit.
It made me remember everything I felt for him.
Then we saw each other at the event and things progressed from there.
We only came to your room so that we could talk in private. ”
“Is ‘talking’ code for ‘screwing’ in LA?” she retorts.
Regardless of her snark, her posture relaxes a little bit. My apology seems to be getting through to her.
I press my lips together, holding back a laugh.
“No, I meant actual talking. We had unfinished business to discuss.”
Her brows raise.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like the business was anywhere near done.” She gives me a pointed look.
I catch the hidden double meaning in her words, and I stare at her, feeling the corner of my lips twitch until I can’t hold it anymore. Laughter bubbles out of me in a contagious giggle.
Carmen’s tough act cracks, and her shoulders shake with every cackle abandoning her.
Laughing with her is easy because, once we start, we can’t seem to stop.
Once my shoulders stop shaking from laughter and silence begins to settle between us, I stare at her.
The hotness I felt before reduces into a welcoming and familiar warmth. Comfortable and safe.
“Come here,” I motion her to the bed so we can sit.
Her face wrinkles with disgust.
“Um, no, thanks. I won’t be subjecting this dress to all the filth you guys did,” she says, turning her nose up. “I’ll stay right here.” Rolling my eyes, I grab her arm and pull her with me to the bed. “Ew!”
I bark out a laugh, falling back on the mattress. The bed moves under my weight, swaying for a second. Reluctantly, Carmen lets her weight drop on the bed next to me. I prop myself up with my elbows to get a look at her.
“Don’t be a baby.”
“I get to be a baby. You guys are fucking nasty,” she complains. “I can’t believe you were about to fuck him on my bed. Were you just going to do it and then leave as if it never happened? Dragging your ass on my sheets, leaving behind sweat and lord knows what else?”
I snort. “Oh, cut me some slack. Aren’t you glad I’m getting some?”
“Not on my bed!” she declares. “But, yes, I am glad you’re finally getting some. The years of repressed sexual tension had you turning into a raging bitch.”
My jaw slackens. “Respect me, pendeja,” I reprimand her, though my tone doesn’t carry the same seriousness it should.
I would be lying if I said Danny’s oral skills didn’t help me relieve some stress and tension. My body feels relaxed, muscles loosened. I’m floating above the clouds with glee.
“You’re going to wash those sheets. This isn’t a joke, I won’t let you go back to LA until you do,” she establishes, and then shudders as if she got hit with a jolt of disgust. “I’m never going to be able to unsee that image.”
“Stop it.” I dig an elbow into her ribs.
She whines dramatically.
I barely nudged her, so I roll my eyes.
“It was nasty, Mabby.” Carmen fakes a gag. “I still can’t believe it.”
Humming, I ponder on her comment because I can’t believe it either.
“Honestly, this wasn’t on my bingo card when I traveled here,” I admit.
That’s an understatement. The last thing I expected was to bump into Danny today.
Hell, I never would’ve guessed he’d ever come back to Westbrook after graduation.
I expected him to be long gone from here, focusing on his grad studies, or working with his father.
But it was like fate wanted us to come together today and confront our issues.
And do more.
A lot more.
“Right, you came because of that thing.” Annoyance drips from her voice.
Defeat washes over me. I wish she could understand where I’m coming from, but it’s not easy to put into words when we have such different perspectives. It’s not about my paranoia or the mindset of being a horror freak. It’s about the fact that she might get hurt.
If there’s someone out there looking to hurt her, I don’t know what I would do.
“Carmen, that thing is concerning,” I begin to explain.
“I know I worry a lot about you, but that’s all I know.
It has nothing to do with me trying to be Mami or thinking I can do a better job at protecting you.
It doesn’t even have anything to do with me not trusting you to keep yourself safe.
I worry because I’m your big sister, and I know you’ve been acting out recently.
I don’t know what it is or if it has to do with what happened last year with Cerys and Brian, but you’ve been different, and I worry. ”
“Mabel . . .”
“This is something you’re never going to be able to experience or understand.
For you, all your life I’ve been there, checking your every move, guiding you, babysitting you.
But, for me, it’s different, I chose to do those things because I’ve loved you since the day you were born.
I was barely a toddler when Mami y Papi brought you home, but I remember getting to hold you when you were a baby.
I’ve always wanted you to be safe, and even though you’re an adult now, sometimes I still see you as that little baby and I get scared that the world will somehow harm you. ”
Carmen’s eyes well with unshed tears, red rimming the edges as she looks at me.
“I love you, Mabby,” she whispers. “I’m sorry that I’m such a brat and I give you so many headaches. I know you worry about me, but—”
“Shh . . . it’s fine,” I tell her when her voice breaks, wrapping my arms around her frame to hold her tight.
A faint scent of alcohol comes off her body, and my concern for her increases.
It’s not like her to get so emotional. Her chest heaves with a shudder, and I rub circles on her back.
“I get it. I can be a little intense, and I’m sorry too.
I would lose my mind if anyone hurt you. ”
She lets out a choked noise, a sob mixed with something I can’t decipher.
“I’m sorry I said that stuff today,” she repeats. “I know I can’t understand what being an older sister is like, but I also know I’ve always been spoiled by you. It’s not fair of me to do that.”
“It’s okay,” I brush it off. While her words hurt earlier, I’m aware we both said things we now regret.
I know she does, so I don’t intend to punish her for it.
We’ve spent too long being apart in the past months to dwell on things that were said in the heat of the moment. “I know you don’t truly mean it.”
“No, I don’t,” she agrees. “I just . . . I’ve had a lot going on.”
“But, Carmen,” I beg for her attention, softly lifting her from my chest so I can examine her face. Tears edge her brown eyes, crystalizing them. “I know something’s wrong. If anyone hurt you, you can tell me. I promise, you can trust me; you can tell me anything. I’m here for you.”
Her eyes soften and her lips tremble.
“Mabel, I—”
For a moment, I think she’s about to confess what’s been driving her away from me, but then her phone buzzes on her lap and her gaze drops to look at the screen.
It’s merely a second, yet it’s enough for me to tell the spell is broken.
Carmen’s brows knit together, and she unlocks her phone screen to show me the message she just received.
It’s from Bethan.
SOS. I need you and Mabel to meet me at Theta’s in 10.
Another message arrives.
ASAP.
I frown.
There’s one rule of Kappa that I’ve never taken lightly, and it’s the use of the SOS. It doesn’t matter who uses it, the moment it’s invoked, you have to drop everything and go to the person who sent it. It means they’re in desperate need of help.
Worry sets in my stomach again, making me nauseous.
The last time I saw Bethan before I came up here with Danny, she was talking to Cerys.
What if something happened to them while Danny and I were too busy being horny?
Oh God. We completely lost all perspective on what we came here to do in the first place.
We were supposed to keep an eye on them to make sure they were safe.
“We have to go,” Carmen announces, motioning to stand up.
“Wait.” I grab her arm, stopping her from standing. I want her to feel like she can confide in me about anything. “You wanted to tell me something.”
She shakes her head, disregarding the topic. Her protective mask is back in place and there’s nothing that will sway her. I’ve seen it too often when we were growing up.
“It’s nothing.”
“Carmen.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t start again, please. We just kissed and made up. Let’s not have another unnecessary argument.”
My heart deflates at her tone, but I let it pass only because Bethan’s message has made me uneasy.
“Will you tell me later?” I ask Carmen.
Reluctantly, she agrees to my request, and we leave the room together.
Anxiety solidifies in my stomach, making me feel as if I’ve swallowed a ball of nerves.
I have a bad feeling about this, but I keep it contained because Carmen would simply say it’s my paranoia.
It only takes us a few minutes to get out of Kappa and, before I can process it, we’re passing by the fountain where they found Brian’s body.
My feet stop moving altogether and I stay locked in the memory of that morning.
If I close my eyes, I’m sure I’ll be able to picture his mutilated body hanging off the statue, gutted and with the accusation written on his torso.
It’s been weeks, perhaps months, since I’ve thought about that morning.
The morbid part of me was too transfixed by the image until Danny pulled me away.
It’s odd to witness real death and then carry on playing pretend in movies.
Every time I see some gnarly blood splatter on set, I compare it to Brian’s body, and I use it for reference.
Am I a bit sick for that? Possibly.