Chapter 13 #2
She kneels, touches each one in turn, while they clamor for her attention.
She hesitates, as if she can’t decide which one to pick.
Then one of the pups with big brown eyes and jet black fur takes off running and jumps right into her lap.
Katie laughs with so much joy that it convinces me that I’ve made the right choice in letting her pick a puppy.
That’s when I discover that part of being a dad is that your child’s joy becomes your joy because you just want to see them happy.
“She loves me,” Katie whispers, cuddling the puppy to her chest.
“She does,” I agree gamely. “If you want her, she’s yours.”
Katie just smiles, not taking her eyes off the dog. “She’s all mine.”
I’m not sure it’s a she, but I ride right past that small hiccup. “You made a good choice,” I tell her. “Let’s bring her upstairs and show your mama.”
Katie carries the happy pup carefully using both arms wrapped around its small body.
I hover behind her in case she accidentally drops it, but she walks like she’s holding a rare and precious unicorn rather than a wiggling mutt destined to piss on all my rugs.
When we get back to the suite, she takes the puppy straight to the rug in the living area and sits down cross-legged.
The dog climbs into her lap like that’s the only place in the whole world it wants to be.
Christina comes out of the bedroom when she hears us. Katie beams at her. Christina smiles back, but her eyes flick to me like she’s trying to gauge my mood. I keep my face neutral, ‘cause I’m not about to spoil this moment for our daughter.
Christina kneels down beside her and I wait for her to ask me why I gave Katie a freaking puppy without discussing it first.
But she doesn’t talk about the puppy. She just gives it a scratch behind the ear. “Katie,” she says gently, “we need to talk to you for a minute.”
Katie looks up. The puppy curls into her legs.
“I keep the puppy,” Katie states sternly. In that moment, I see a little of Queenie’s attitude pop out. She’s more like my ma than I like to admit.
Katie moves closer to me and rests her hand on my arm without thinking about it. I don’t pull away because I know she’s just happy with me for gifting her with the much-coveted puppy she’s been dreaming about.
“She fell in love with one of the puppies and I just let her have it,” I explain. “You don’t have to help her take care of it. I’ll do all the dirty work.”
Christina’s expression turns into one of bewilderment. “Getting a puppy is exciting, but we have more important news to deliver. Try to stay focused.”
I don’t know why, but I’m shocked at her gentle rebuke. I’m not about to work out what she’s talking about until she starts talking about dads to Katie.
“You know how you didn’t have a dad around before,” Christina says.
Katie nods. “Just girl power,” she says, sounding glum.
“Yeah, I told you that so you would know girls can be strong and resourceful.”
Katie’s eyes have already glazed over. Her attention drifted back to her puppy pretty fast.
Christina looks uncomfortable and then starts again. “Well, it’s not just us anymore.”
When Christina begins to tear up, I take over. “Katie, what your mom is trying to say is I’m your dad.”
Her head snaps up, and she stares at me, squinting her eyes.
“Yeah,” I tell her. “I was lost, but your mama found me, so we can be a family now.” That didn’t sound nearly as good when I say it out loud as it did in my mind.
Katie looks between us, confused. “You got lost.”
Christina just decides to go with it and nods. “Yep. He was lost. But he’s back now.”
“And I’m staying,” I add. “You don’t have to worry about me leaving.”
Katie reaches up and puts her hand on my cheek. It’s a sweet little kid gesture that probably means something. Unfortunately, I haven’t been a dad long enough to figure it out. So, I cover her hand with mine and smile down at her.
“Okay,” she whispers. “You can stay.”
It’s damn nice of this daughter of mine to let me stay in my own place, I think with genuine amusement.
I give her a kiss on the top of the head and stand before my emotions get the better of me. “You two get settled. I’m gonna run a bath for the puppy.”
I walk to the bathroom and close the door quietly.
I grip the counter with both hands, head down, breathing hard.
Christina didn’t have to tell her. She could have waited until I forced the issue by filing for custody, but she didn’t.
She did the right thing and that touches me more deeply than it should.
Not only that, but Katie accepted me as her father, no questions asked. Then again, she’s only three. She probably takes everything grownups say at face value. I can’t remember ever being that young and naive.
I run some warm water for the puppy and gather up some baby shampoo and towels before calling them to come.
Katie shows up holding the puppy against her chest. The little thing is all paws and wiggles, but she somehow keeps hold of it.
Christina hovers over them, much like I did when she first carried it from the shed.
“Alright,” I tell Katie, rolling up my sleeves. “Ready to help me give her a bath?”
Katie nods hard. “She smells like outside.”
“She’s been rolling in the dirt at some point,” I say. “It’s nothing a short bath won’t fix.”
Christina steps inside and kneels next to Katie. She tucks a towel under her knee and smiles at her. “We’ll make her clean and fluffy. Puppies clean up really well.”
“Yeah,” I grumble. “The problem is they just get dirty all over again, like they can’t stand to be clean.”
Christina frowns, but Katie giggles at my ham-handed joke. This tiny daughter of mine gets all my jokes. I can’t figure if that makes her smart or my jokes childish.
The second the pup sees the bath it tries to scramble away. Katie tightens her arms around her. “Don’t run away,” she tells her. “It’s water, baths are fun.”
Of course the dog doesn’t listen, ‘cause it’s an animal being forced into doing human things it doesn’t understand.
I lift the puppy gently out of Katie’s grip and lower her towards the water.
It starts flailing its tiny legs in protest. The second its paws touch the warm water, it lets out a startled yip and tries to climb back out of the tub.
A moment later, it decides that warm water isn’t the instant death it thought and is prancing around loving it.
I laugh, which feels strange after the day I’ve had.
It’s having so much fun, it doesn’t want to get washed. I have to hold it still just to soap it up. “Easy, furball,” I mutter, trying my best to steady it with one arm while I lather up its back with the other. “You’re alright. We’ve got you.”
Katie giggles. “Daddy, she’s so slippery.”
Hearing her call me daddy for the first time hits me right in the feelings. That word stalls me for a second. She said it like it had always belonged to me. I shake through the feeling and keep working.
Christina reaches in with a cup, helping rinse the puppy’s belly while Katie strokes her head.
“You’re doing great,” Christina tells her.
Katie beams.
Once we rinse the puppy clean, I wrap it in a warm towel. Before I can get the towel closed, it shakes, sending droplets everywhere. Katie gets a case of the giggles and can’t seem to stop. It’s like a burst of fuckin’ sunshine right into my heart.
“We’re not done,” I tell them. “He needs to be dried.”
I grab the small blow dryer from the counter. Christina takes the puppy into her lap so I can use both hands. Katie sits beside us, trying to help keep her pet quiet.
The warm air hits the puppy’s fur, causing it to freeze for a few seconds. Then it melts into a little puddle of happy goo. Its eyes drift half closed. Christina strokes its head, covering its ears through the noise.
“There you go,” she whispers. “Almost done.”
I keep the dryer on low and slow until the last patch of damp fur fluffs up. When it’s warm and soft, Katie scoops her up.
“Smells good,” Katie says proudly.
“He smells clean,” I correct, but I smile.
“Not he. She,” Katie says stubbornly.
I don’t show her what I found while blow drying all that fur, but I feel compelled to tell her.
“I’m afraid your puppy is a little boy. If you really want a girl, we can trade him out for one of the others.”
She turns and runs off yelling, “No take backs, I love him!” over her shoulder.
Watching Katie play with the puppy causes a rush of emotion I wasn’t expecting to feel. I don’t know what’s going to happen between me and Christina. But whatever the future brings, I have a family. This feels like the dream I was never smart enough to dream.