Chapter 1
THE CHANGE
“How old were you when your life all went to shit?” The cold, clinical voice of my father asked.
I stared out the window of the staged house towards the neighborhood roundabout.
A little girl was playing hopscotch on the sidewalk while a woman watched over her tenderly.
The woman, Reyna, was well into her forties, Filipino and had a kind face, nothing at all like the blonde baboon of a caretaker that constantly neglected the girl in favor of new plastics.
This week it had been lip fillers, and next week would be a butt lift or some other ridiculous body modification.
I didn’t care for the mother’s whims, though; I only cared for the nanny and the little girl.
The little girl was Gabriella. Gabby was what the caretaker called her.
Despite the shitshow of a mother, Gabby showed signs of being taken care of well.
I always came to this window to watch the routine of the nanny and the girl.
It had been three weeks in Riven. I fell in tune with their routine, adding it to my own.
I hadn’t the slightest idea why I was so drawn to the innocence of these two.
Perhaps the true nature of a predator was to stalk.
The summer sun was setting behind the suburban houses.
This was of course a safe neighborhood. The safest place to hide is in plain sight.
I looked down at the knife in my shaky hand, its blade sharpened to perfection and gleaming as the bright oranges turned to deepening reds.
The blood shimmered, blending perfect with the hues of light.
Uncomfortable silence greeted me as the voice waited for an answer.
Not a rhetorical question; no, a clear demand.
A manic laugh fell from my lips, but all that remained on the other end of that line was a chilling silence.
My smile bitter, dropping the knife on the counter in the pool of blood as I stared into the lifeless eyes of the animal before me.
Self-harm was appealing, but it wouldn’t help this conversation end anytime sooner. Silence. I sighed, annoyed that he wasn’t taking the bait. I checked my watch, an analog Timex with a steady beat.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
There went another minute as I continued to run the clock out. The question still unanswered, the person on the phone waiting yet another moment for the reply, not a why did my life go to shit, but a how old was I? I guess I should have known that dear old daddy forgot that special day.
“How old were you when you raped her?” I retorted just as the telling signs of the prison phone took over.
“Your call has ended, thank you for calling Riven State Corrections, please call back between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m…”
I didn’t bother to let the robotic voice continue its droning monologue. I had heard it forty-five times since Dad entered prison.
The tone was always the same, and it never changed. Why would it? The prison was still the ancient civilization it had always been, with its broken ecosystem of murderers, thieves, and rapists.
Dad just fit all three categories, and prison? His vacation, his kingdom; no one dared to touch Midas in his own backyard.
My emotions exhausted from Midas’ call, I threw the phone against the far wall, hoping it would shatter like the broken pieces of my mind, but annoyed when it only thudded and dropped on the floor.
I screamed out my frustrations, willing myself not to care, not to give in to the one person who was both my kryptonite and salvation.
As much as I wanted it to end, he would never loosen the golden chains I was bound by; he would never succumb to my pleas for freedom.
Why would he when I was his favorite whore?
A gentle knock on the kitchen door let me know, time to move. I knew this place like the back of my hand, and I would miss watching over the little girl and her nanny, but I lost time trying to appease Daddy. The cops would soon be here, and I would rather not have my present-making interrupted.
I grabbed the half-cut carcass off the counter, the wide innocent eyes that reflected that little child inside, frozen in death with the most innocent of expressions. Shock.
Twenty-four years ago—she’s six
“Daddy what is going on? Where is Momma?” I asked as I grabbed the pink deer stuffed animal named Penny off the couch.
“You don’t have to worry about that right now, just focus on me,” he said with a slur to his words.
I was itchy, and my eyes hurt. My throat was raw, as if I hadn’t had my juice before bed, but that can’t be right because Daddy brought me my juice.
Daddy’s rough, calloused hand was on my shoulder as he dragged me through the back door towards the shed. The rain poured down, soaking me and Penny as I struggled to keep up with Daddy.
“Momma said we can’t go to that shed ever, why aren’t we listening to Momma?” I questioned as I tried to pull away from Daddy’s grip, almost slipping free. Something wasn’t right, but in my sleepy state, I didn’t know just how wrong things were as I slipped once again on the muddy path.
“Just listen to me sweetheart, it will all be alright.” He stooped, kissing my head before tossing me over his shoulder as we closed in on the shed.
I dropped Penny and called out only to be smacked firmly on the butt.
Tears welled in my eyes at the lost toy, and shock filled me at the impact of his smack.
Daddy has never smacked me. Why did Daddy change?
His grip tightened as I struggled against his burly side. The sky boomed with thunder, and I yelped out.
“I don’t like the rain, I want momma.” I cried out, but my wails were of no use.
Daddy smelled funny, and my nose crinkled. I rubbed my eyes trying to clear the tears from behind them, but it didn’t work. They continued to pour out as our steps got closer. My hands felt sticky despite the rain, but as darkness crept in, I was so scared.
The lightning sparked against a nearby tree, and as the flash of light reached my eyes, I saw my hands for the first time since I’d woken.
Red paint clung to my tiny fingertips. Did I paint earlier?
I squirmed against Daddy only to be smacked harder.
“Daddy that hurts!” I wailed, more tears falling.
“Don’t worry darling, I will make it all better soon.” His voice was sweet, like Daddy’s voice always was, and part of my worry lessened, coaxed by the softness in his voice.
The old wooden boards groaned with the weight of Daddy as he stepped up to unlock the shed. He fumbled with the key ring, unsure which as the icy rain continued to pound my head. I was cold, wet and sleepy. Why was I so sleepy?
The key found its home in the lock, and the door swung open.
Present day
“Hello? Are you okay?” Jasper stood with an aloof look on his face.
“Yeah, all good. Midas sends his appreciation for the supplies,” I shook off the memory as the lie slid so easily off my lips.
“Really? I can’t believe the boss remembered me,” Jasper’s enthusiastic voice raked across my brain like nails as he continued to chatter on about how much this meant to him and how he would be the best lieutenant he could be.
Something I would never understand—how this bumbling fool was so enamored of the life we led.
Blood slipped through my fingers from the deer’s severed body, dropping onto the marble flooring with loud splats.
The echo as the blood continued to leak resonated in my brain.
Stop, stop, stop, this isn’t right. With the whooshing in my ears, my blank stare at the window, the last ray of sunlight winked away, its golden embers to taunt me another day.
I couldn’t do this. It sickens me to crave Midas after all these years.
How did he have such a gilded cage around my mind?
I started laughing, throwing my head back as I let the manic take over.
Jasper, who rambled on like this was just another day in the shop, looked at my madness.
“What? Did I say something funny?” he questioned as he cleaned up the countertops precisely as planned. Every spot was perfect, except for the sickened entrails that spelled out ‘Midas.’ My gift to him, one of many that I have given as the years have passed. A bribe for freedom.
“Not in the slightest,” I continued laughing as he took the bloody body from my grip and headed out the door.
Before he left, he called back, “just remember everyone was to clear out at ten, so if you aren’t there we were told to leave you,” he turned, pushing through the door, blood followed as his rough hands removed the carcass.
I gritted my teeth as he just walked away through my perfect placement blood splatter. I turned back to the entrails and repositioned them for the third time that night. It still spelled out ‘Midas’ but cleaner now.
This gift was messy. It lacked the time factor; the organization having delayed my start, and a deer was my last choice for this year. I hated deer.
I glanced around the kitchen, still far from perfect.
Irritated as I walked around, debating the next placement of blood.
The jar gripped in my clean hand shook with unspoken anger as I threw it towards the wall I had just thrown my burner phone at.
The impact was calming; the fracturing of glass set the idea off in my mind.
You know once you get an idea it’s hard to let go; this was the idea that would change everything.
I rushed out the kitchen door, down the hall to the bedroom, pushed the door open and found them there.
The group of three looked up as I entered, pausing their conversation and holding the mutilated human heart in their hands.
I know my appearance was wild; it always got like this.
Lack of sleep and time were to blame. This was my third day of no sleep, my hair matted with blood, my face smeared with it and a knife still gripped in my bloodied hand.
I could feel the blood sliding off my hand, down the hilt, beading together on the sharp tip before it dropped with silence on the carpet.
“Once you’re done with that,” I pointed to the breaking heart with an antler shoved through the center, “clear out, take everyone and evacuate, give me your phone too, tell Jasper I’ve got a special job for him and find me after he bags up,” my voice was stern leaving no room for doubts.
One grunt reached into his back pocket with a plastic-gloved hand covered in blood and pulled out a small BlackBerry, tossed it to me and went back to work.
“Clif, go grab Jasper for her and let’s get out of here early, I have a nice piece of ass waiting anyways,” the grunt spoke, and Clif turned to walk past me.
I wasn’t in charge here; Jasper commanded this team, but I had a special duty to ensure the memorable event proceeded and it must be better than the last. I smashed keys on the BlackBerry as I erased content from it, glancing down at the time again and annoyed for the blood covering my view, I wiped it off against the sofa as I passed into the living room; just nine fifteen plenty of time. Don’t panic.
I didn’t like time crunches; I preferred moving at my own pace.
This complete change of plans, correction orders, was going to be a hard sell, but as I continued to type away on the screen.
The plan came along nicer than I expected.
I paused, looking around the living room.
Something was missing, and I couldn’t think what it needed as I paced back and forth.
The crew were already done, but they missed a bit of artist flare.
Men. Can’t live with them and can’t live with them.
Isn’t that the saying? Laughing to myself, I shoved my fingertips into the eyeball of the mounted buck.
The squish as its head tried to pull them deeper made me laugh even more.
Is that where the term ‘skullfuck’ came from?
I’d have to look that up later. Coated in sinus, brain, and blood, I withdrew my fingers and began painting against the opposite side.
Not my best work, but the flare made it worth it.
The deer painting was almost complete when Jasper cleared his throat. Annoyance flickered through me, but I stopped and turned around to see him looking at me in awe.
“You wanted to see me?” His throat a nervous bob as he swallowed.
“Phone,” I held my palm out, a demand which he followed. Struggling to release it from the pocket, he managed after a few moments and passed me the phone.
“Thanks, take this one. Yours will work better for my needs. Follow the instructions on the screen and get that to Riven no later than three in the morning,” I held out the BlackBerry. Blood was drying on it, and Jasper hesitated to take it but nodded.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, shifting, uneasy. Jasper never disobeyed orders, which made him perfect for this job.
“I’m going to put on a show. You’ll see. Take the men and leave now. Go ahead and call it in once you’re out,” I smirked.
His whistle sharp, everyone in the house stopped their actions. I heard a shuffling of feet as the team began their exits and drove off.