Chapter 25 I Miss Her
I MISS HER
“I’m here,” Scott’s voice sounded through the phone.
“You didn’t, did you?” I couldn’t help the jealousy that crept in as the words left my mouth. She wouldn’t do that again; she should have learned her lesson. Doubt and anger began twisting an ugly knot in my stomach as my fist formed against the wall.
“No. I have a girlfriend. No, I do not know when she will be released and no she won’t tell me anything vital,” he huffed out, and relief flooded through me.
I leaned back on the wall, the corded phone stretched tight as I clutched it to my ear, desperate for any news regarding her. I should have known they would take her to a hospital, or at least I hoped; it was much better than letting her bleed out like last time.
“You need to be careful with her, she hasn’t been herself lately,” Concern laced Scott’s voice, and I grunted.
I couldn’t forget the reason for calling Mr. Pain in my ass, and I thought for a moment on how best to portray the urgency through the monitored line.
“Things are shifting, and I can’t say much over the phone but you need to come down ASAP,” I pressed into the phone, making sure that every word was clear.
Midas has never done business with the cartels.
That was never our area, always Obsidian’s territory.
I scratched at the beard on my chin, annoyed that I couldn’t cleanly shave it in this shithole.
Contraband aside, they still didn’t want us killing one another. Fuck, I really need to get out of here.
Midas only ever told Summer the truth regarding the plans he set forth.
It was some fucked-up power move, family first I was constantly reminded.
Family first, but wasn’t I family? Was it not Midas who walked her down the aisle?
Tangled thoughts crossed my mind as I pondered why Midas would break allegiance with Obsidian.
Why would he risk that over drug pushers?
Something did not add up, and it irritated me to continue the train of thought.
Scott cleared his throat. “I will be there in an hour,” His voice was tight, and he hung up.
I dropped the phone onto the back of the receiver and slid down the wall, my hands resting on my knees as I started to laugh.
She called me baby; she misses me. My firefly sent me that present.
She spelled my name wrong, but what can I expect?
Spelling was never her strongest subject.
I continued to chuckle as my hands wove around the pendant against my chest. It was worn down by the constant rubbing and years of handling.
The tracker was long since broken, but still, it was comforting.
Gleefully and totally obsessed with her reaction, I replayed the conversation.
The first words she uttered to me in seven years, and it was ‘hey baby.’ Nothing could spoil the feeling. She accepted her wrongdoing and finally came back around. I knew it.
Seven years ago
“Cole let me go, you don’t understand!” she yelled at me as I held her arms within my grip, laughing.
“Where are you going so soon? You just got here and I am dying to taste you,” I licked the side of her neck as she kneed me in the gut.
My grip tightened, and she fought harder to be free.
I just pressed her further into the wall.
“Is it because you’re on your period? You know I don’t mind the blood, a guy could always use more iron,” I remarked.
Her breath came faster than her face flushed; it was doing wonders for her breasts, which looked amazing even still beneath my large hoodie.
She struggled against me, yelling out again.
I leaned in closer; her hair tickled my nose as I inhaled her scent.
Something about her recently made me feral, and I was not complaining.
Like a drug addict with their latest fix, I had to have her.
I devoured her lips, wanting to taste the honeysuckle sweetness I had known to associate with her.
I briefly wondered if I should let her breathe as one of my hands came around her neck, squeezing.
She managed to free a hand and slapped my cheek, gasping for air as she stared at me with wide, fearful eyes — not the reaction I was expecting, but her fear turned me on; my dick pushed into her thigh. Fuck this woman was my everything.
“No,” she spat in my face, and I smiled. She’ll pay for that.
I flipped her around. She braced against the wall; my hand smacked her ass hard. “No?” I was thrown off and curiosity burned within me.
“You can’t choke me, and I am serious this time,” Her tone wasn’t lying as she continued to calm her breathing.
“The red demon must be super horrid this time, are you sure I can’t persuade you to let me feast on you?” I joked, leaning in for a kiss from her turned face.
She put her hand against my mouth, stopping me, and I grabbed her roughly by the throat. I saw panic flash through her eyes.
“What gives? Why are you acting weird?” A serious look crossed my face as I backed up, shaking my head. She turned back around, a saddened expression shadowed her face. “I told you, you did not have to put on a mask around me Summer, and this is exactly that,” I gestured towards her.
Tears started streaming down her face. “I couldn’t do it, I tried in the beginning I tried but I couldn’t,” she sobbed, and I pulled her close to me, and I felt it.
Her stomach — with a bump there — I recoiled at the contact before pulling her even closer.
Confusion and shock struck me as I desperately counted the months since I last saw her.
Fuck, when did she come off birth control?
Panic coursed through me as I recounted the days since our wedding.
The bargain I struck with Midas plagued me.
Her tears soaked into my chest as she cried.
Anger filled my vision as I realized I had no ideas.
“How far along? Don’t you fucking dare lie to me either,” my voice rose as I gripped her hair, yanking her head to look me in the eye. Her lips quivered, and I yanked harder as I commanded, “Tell me.”
“Seven — ” she whispered.
“Was it him?” It was like a sea of red swarmed my vision; it took every fiber not to lash out at her. “I’ll kill him myself for touching you again,” I slammed my hand against the wall. It rattled a few frames.
“No!” she shouted as I turned to grab a gun.
“He — you must understand!” She sobbed while pulling my arm. Surely she wouldn’t choose him. Uneasy and angry, I turned toward her.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you wanted this,” I motioned to the bump as my brain spiraled with insecurity.
What if she never wanted you? Why did she marry you if she was just going to go behind your back again?
What are you going to do with a child? I didn’t realize I had fallen on my knees, distraught by this news until her soft hand grasped my cheek as she looked me in the eye.
She was so beautiful, even when she cried.
“I didn’t know the birth control had stopped working, I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen, I spent weeks convincing myself I wasn’t pregnant, I should have told you sooner,” she cried, stroking my cheek.
“No one knows, hell I don’t even — ” she sniffled, fear lighting her eyes.
“Do you love him?” We both knew who ‘he’ was; his name had no place in our house.
I regretted asking. I couldn’t face rejection from her, and I couldn’t handle it.
She looked down and away, and I grabbed her chin.
“Do you even love me?” My voice cracked.
Vulnerable and raw, I bared myself to her.
I would die for her if she commanded me too, I had loved her ever since I saw her.
She needed to know that. I pulled her chin to my mouth, placing a feather-light kiss on her lips.
A tear streamed down my face the longer she stared at me without replying.
“I — it’s different and I’m not sure I know myself. You must be disgusted — ,” she sobbed. “I love you, you’ve been my best friend, my lover, my confident, and my partner. I don’t know why I am so fucked up,” she frowned, looking down at me.
My firefly gave me a choice: accept it or she’d take matters into her own hands. It was a gift. My hands skimmed across her bump, and the baby kicked. I smiled, blinking away another tear. The little ball of joy melted my anger away.
“Is it a girl or a boy?” I asked as I continued to run my hands across her stomach. Fuck, what am I going to do with this child? Mafia life is no place for the little thing. Too innocent and untainted by us. I smiled weakly, masking the war in my head.
“I don’t know, it was too early when I went,” she swiped at her own face, and her tears slowed.
I lifted the hoodie and placed a kiss on her stomach.
This little child was going to be the best thing to happen to her.
Summer’s hand caressed the back of my head as I littered kisses against her bump.
If I could kill every son of a bitch that would do harm to her, I would bloody the world just to keep her clean.
The thought that this little life cradled in her belly was the product of harm done filled me with an uncontrollable rage.
I knew that my little firefly, and I had grown apart since our marriage, but I didn’t realize this was why.
Midas held her under his thumb constantly.
‘take care of the business, the men respect you’ he’d say as he shook hands with the crooked politicians and set up another grand party.
Summer — the perfect imperfection that held the entire system together.
Under syndicate rules, commit the crime, do the time and maybe you’ll be fine.
The only exception was Summer. She was free of our creed and never bore the ink.
I glanced at my right palm to see the black snake wrapped around its gold coin.
The placement was optional, but Summer’s bright eyes when I asked her where it should be lit up like that first night.