Chapter 30 Doctors Lie
DOCTORS LIE
“Mia is it?” The voice woke me from the nap. I leaned up, groaning from the stiff positions I had fallen asleep in.
My eyes bulged at the presence of the man, and apprehension knotted in my stomach. I hated male doctors. The memories of the training center flashed through my eyes before I took a deep breath, shutting it down. It’s one doctor. Stupid girl.
“Are we ready to start yet?” I asked in an even tone as I read the badge name.
“Hello miss Williams, I am Doctor Louis,” The short, balding man reached out a hand, and I flinched. Hey there, tiger … will you scream for me? I blinked rapidly as the panic began. It. Is. Not. Him. Stop. The laughter bubbled out of me. It was always easier to mask the panic with laughter.
“Oh so you drew the short stick, it’s fitting, alright well let’s get this over with, I assume my lawyer is in there?” Throwing a glance towards the two-way mirror.
“Yes he is observing, as you approved. I apologize for the room, this is the only observation area for this facility,” he smiled tentatively. They always smiled before they did something horrible. I blinked a few times, slowing my breaths. Why did he look so familiar?
“I am sure it makes the kids feel right at home,” I replied sarcastically. Pretend. Fabricate the tone. Seduce the man. Anything to make it stop.
Louis made a sound of approval. That’s it; don’t make them mad. He sat down in one of the tiny table chairs; he looked ridiculous. There was a file and a pin he set down as well.
“Where do you want to begin?” I prompted, still not entirely sure where this would lead.
If there was one area of study I failed in, it was Psych.
Psychology was never a subject of my interest. No matter how much I tried or read, it was just a subject that bored me.
I laid back on the rug as I tried to pull any knowledge of the subject to the forefront of my mind; however, only a blankness met me. Shit.
“We begin wherever you are comfortable, but I do have a list of topics the hospital staff were concerned about, perhaps you would like to start there?” Louis’ voice was even as he asked and I got off the floor joining him at the table. The floor was never a good place to be.
It seemed only prudent to shut up now, and I’m tired of wasting time.
The anxiety was worse the longer I was in his presence.
I pulled the stack of paper towards me and the box of crayons, determined to just let it flow.
I had spent so much time locking that little Summer up I was unsure how, so as the doctor waited in silence and I started to scribble on the paper I undid layers of walls within my mind.
Back to the trauma of birth. Back to the betrayal of love.
Back to the center, to friends … Magdalena …
Scarlett. I wouldn’t risk their safety. I breathed in deeply as I refocused myself.
I wouldn’t tell him more than necessary.
“Guess I should say it started with the death of my mother, she was my world. What mother isn’t at that age?” my voice sounded a bit detached, but I kept going.
“I loved my family, we had a good life, but things changed and I was too ignorant to see it. Daddy was always a family man, we lived in a large mansion outside of town and when I was younger, Uncle Ryan would visit. He was my favorite uncle, Momma always seemed happier when he was around, her sun shining smile a mirror of my own,” I paused to grab another sheet of paper, the butterfly I had drawn I set in a pile next to the clean ones.
“How old were you when she died?” The doctor asked.
He was nudging me to continue on, and I looked towards my reflection in the wall, staring at the observation area.
It was wishful thinking trying to prepare myself for what needed to be said.
Scott was behind that glass wall, and I knew Dustin would be as well.
I had given them both permission to view this examination, the horrors it might unfold, maybe one of them would have a strong enough stomach.
“Six,” the whisper left me as I continued to stare, hoping for any confirmation they were there.
Louis scribbled something down on the paper, and curiosity got the better of me, so I turned towards the short man.
I studied his frame and realized this was going to be the fun part.
Telling the stranger in front of me a story that would make him squeamish, that would make him wonder if his own daughters had experienced such trauma, and that would make them serial killers themselves made me giggle.
“What do you find funny?” Louis questioned once again.
“I was just thinking of the time in that place, when my life changed forever, it’s funny how weak and pathetic that little girl was, shall I tell you about it?” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I finished a drawing of a beetle setting it on the complete pile I had begun.
“Of course, anything you wish to share,” he coaxed.
“I’ve been to hell and it was drab,” I replied.
“What do you mean?” The doctor asked.
I began to recount the events of my life, the friends I had made and the ones I lost. By the end of it, my throat was raw and barely above a whisper. I swiped furiously at the tears.
My eyes met the reflection of the little girl in the mirror, and my feet moved before I had the chance, and together we sank to our knees sobbing and mumbling reassurance. I can’t be sure if I said more than I was already an emotional wreck.
I heard a door slam on the other side, and it snapped me back into reality.
Scott.
My feet were in front of the doctor. Like I blinked and was there, the emotional floodgates began to dam back up just as quick. “May I borrow your phone? My lawyer has disappeared so our session is over,” My palm stretched towards the doctor as he handed me his phone.
Ring Ring Ri—
“Are you okay?” Cole’s panicked voice hit my ears through the line followed by some upbeat 90s pop song. “Fuck I’ve missed you. Where are you?” He breathed through the phone, muffling the song.
I didn’t have time to assess my thoughts about whether I was okay or not.
“Scott. Now,” I hung up the phone and thanked the doctor, walking towards the exit door.
With the drawings scattered on the table, the doctor stone-faced, as I reached for the handle, the door opened to me.
Dustin was there with a stricken face but nodded as we left.