Chapter 56 You Slaughtered Me
YOU SLAUGHTERED ME
Present day
There shouldn’t have been anyone awake at this hour, but the warehouse was in full swing.
Open for business, trades and commissions.
Cole stood in the center of crates filled to the brim, personally checking weapons.
It was clear that no one knew what had happened earlier.
Cole didn’t know that Gabriella was missing, and yet he continued on.
“I fucking hate you!” I screamed. I didn’t really hate him.
I loved him. I had loved him every single day since he rescued me from that shed.
I yearned for him every time I was away, and when he accepted me for who I was without hesitation, I fell more in love with him.
But now I wasn’t so sure; now I was questioning every single action he took.
It was all just a game to him, a twisted, sick game, and I was the sore loser.
I’d lost everything in life that mattered because of him.
“Leave now,” he ordered the warehouse workers as I walked in through the hangar doors.
“Yes boss,” they chimed, dropping weapons back in the crates and scattering.
“Hello my love, is that dress for me? What happened to your face?” he grinned as he placed the new automatic on the table beside him. God, that smile felt like home. No. Stay angry.
I stepped right up to him, slapping him hard across the face.
His tattoos gleamed in sweat against the overhead lights as he laughed.
Cole’s hand latched around my arm as he kissed me brutally.
His lips aggressively captured mine, fending off the anger I had within me.
His hand skimmed down my side towards my center, and I jerked out of his hold.
He looked older than the last time I saw him. We had spent too long away, and I wanted nothing but to fall into his embrace and lose myself within him. But I couldn’t; I wouldn’t allow myself to fall prey to his tricks. I shoved him away, my hand swiped a pistol from the table.
“Go to hell,” I cocked the revolver I had snatched off the table and aimed it towards him as I backed away slowly.
“If the idea is for me to be turned on, you’ve got me there, put the gun down and let me take care of that attitude, maybe you’ll tell me who I need to kill for those bruises?” He stepped closer to me.
“No.” I backed up. I couldn’t let him touch me. I couldn’t let him break my resolve. It was all his fault. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” I whispered.
“Why don’t you tell me? Or do you plan to shoot me?” he laughed again, and I screamed in rage.
“She’s fucking missing, you took her from me and … ” the tears ran down my cheeks as I furiously swiped them away. “Gabriella is missing. My child is gone.”
His face twitched with the realization, and the smile fell off his lips. “What do you mean she’s missing? She was safe, I just saw her a few days ago. Who did that to your face?”
“They stole her, you were supposed to protect her and you failed!” I shouted as the pistol wavered in my hands. Stop asking about my face. I couldn’t talk about my face. What he had done to it or the rest of my body…
“I’m sorry firefly, that’s not what was supposed to happen.” His voice was even, like a well-sold lie, and he tried to come closer, but I couldn’t let him.
With every advance he made towards me, I retreated.
The gun shook in my hands as I backed up.
This wasn’t something he could fix with an ‘I’m sorry.
’ No. My heart broke, having to deny him the forgiveness he sought, but I couldn’t forgive him.
He broke the fragility of our relationship with that single action.
He broke our family before it had any chance of starting.
“You don’t even realize what you’ve done, you took me to a slaughterhouse, you cut me open like cattle and you stole my child from me,” It was the first time I admitted it out loud. That my husband took a piece of me I would never get back. That he was the reason for my fractured mind.
“Fire—” his voice was gravelly.
“No, you don’t get to call me that. You slaughtered Firefly. She’s dead now.”
“Listen,” He stepped forward again, and I cocked the pistol, making him pause.
Tears streamed down my face in uncontrollable rage.
I couldn’t even see straight anymore; my eyes were burning, my body ached from the pain.
I was in so much pain, there was nothing that could fill the void. She’s gone now.
Joy filled me when I learned that the little baby I had so long ago was alive.
I mean, fuck, the relief of killing that bottle blonde bitch sent me into a happy delirium.
It was like my soul could breathe for the first time.
I’d been drowning all my life, and I didn’t realize that there were weights tied to my ankles.
I didn’t want to believe it at first. How could a baby survive the chaos that was me? My baby. It was surreal.
I stepped back, afraid I’d lose my mind again. “You don’t even realize how traumatizing it was,” I whispered.
“Summer — ”
“No. I’m talking so listen.” My voice cracked as the memories surfaced. My hand shook as I held the gun towards him.
“You remember when I was fifteen? We had planned to run away. You’d just bought your bike, and we had planned to set out at our place?” A sob rang free from my lips as I stumbled to the wooden chair.
“Yes, you were supposed to meet me in our clearing, but I was held up,” His eyes were downcast, not truly looking me in the eye.
“I waited for you!” I screamed. “I waited in that clearing until they dragged me back, I was their entertainment, you knew they’d catch me if you got delayed,” I sobbed.
“I’m so sorry — ”
“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up and let me talk,” I smoothed my hair against my head as I sniffled and looked at him.
“You knew about the whippings, you knew they’d do it again and yet you abandoned me.
There was so much blood, I didn’t understand why.
It never happened like that before — ” I paused and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
“I didn’t have a choice — ”
“Did you know when your body goes into intense trauma it rejects everything else? The physical pain of the whip, the emotional pain of you abandoning me– it was too much. I lost it.” I couldn’t breathe now; my body was shaking like hell.
“Lost?” Cole questioned quietly.
“I lost my baby. I didn’t even know I was pregnant and I lost it. On that bloodied concrete as hundreds of people watched.”
Cole’s face blanched, but I had started, so there was no going back.
“They drugged me. I woke up in a facility with a note from Midas and no escape. He said I needed teaching, that they would teach me to be better.” I laughed now. It was some kind of joke. I spent months denying it, buried under the idea that Midas was always right, that Cole hadn’t loved me.
“He sent me to a school to be the perfect whore. His whore. You didn’t even look for me.
The men there they beat me, starved me, and raped me, but I didn’t break at first. I just hoped you were out there looking for me.
When I killed one, I thought I’d be free, but they snuck up on me in my sleep.
After nights of fighting sleep I succumbed to it.
They transferred me. I was back home, at least stateside.
When you never came I realized I had to do it myself.
I had to be my own savior. I had to survive. ”
“I — ”
“It’s too late for apologies,” I didn’t even flinch when I pulled the trigger. It was all the rage; it blinded me.
Cole yelled in anguish, and I blinked away tears. The bullet grazed his right arm. I was relieved I hadn’t killed him, but he stopped pushing forward.
“You know the worst part? The worst part is I escaped and the first thing I did was look for you. You were the one thing that I had good in my life. I found you balls deep in another woman,” I was hysterical now, laughing like this was a big fucking joke.
“What — ”
“I believed you would wait for me, and I realized I was just a dumb naive bitch. Midas took care of me when I was having an emotional breakdown. He made it all better. I gave him my pain. My heart. He gave me purpose. He gave me safety and security.”
“Midas has never once loved you.”
“How do you know? You abandoned me. Used me to get close to Midas. You stole from me and then lost the one innocent and pure thing I had. My child is missing. You fucking lost her.”
“I didn’t want to — ”
“How could you?” The broken question slipped out as I threw the letter at him.
The blood smear, the golden hair, and the threat.
“She’s mine, admit it!” I held the Polaroid in my hand.
I knew I should have given it over to Dustin, trusted the police to do their job and find her, but it was personal.
The note was a threat to me; I just wasn’t sure who the sender was.
“She should have been safe. I don’t understand.” He furrowed his eyebrows.
“I would have protected her! You had no right to take her from me! You promised me a future. I would have — ”
“You would have what? Hidden her from Midas? From Dad? Wake up Summer, you don’t even want to save yourself.”
It felt like a slap. I stumbled backwards. I couldn’t breathe. Save myself. I couldn’t kill him, could I? Daddy — No he was no dad. I straightened myself. The trigger clicked, and another bullet whizzed towards him.
“Jesus fucking christ!” The bullet slammed into his shoulder.
“You do NOT get to lecture me about Midas, and you mention his name one more time and I swear I will kill you where you stand.” I couldn’t deal with assaults on two fronts.
Even now my legs shook from the pain, my body ached from the torment, I hadn’t given myself the chance to process.
It wasn’t the priority, so as I stood there wiping away tears under my swollen eyes, I buried the truth.
“You let them. Floorboard creaks don’t lie.
You stood by and watched. You fucking coward.
You were never better for Gabriella than me.
You did this! She’s just a child. I was just a girl.
” I was beating on his chest now. Guilt flashed in his eyes when I looked at him.
Flood gates had opened inside of me, and it was all washing over me without ceasing.
All the years of emotional trauma, of fighting and never once winning unless someone else let me.
The heartbreak shattered the pieces of my mind.
“I lost her. I didn’t even get to hold her…
” I broke down, and he caught me in my fall as I sobbed.
“It’s all my fault.”
“Make it go away. Make it stop hurting every time I breathe in. Make my heart stop slamming against my chest like it’s trying to escape.” I didn’t know if I was making sense anymore.
My heart was in shambles. I thought I had it all figured out, that Dustin would help me kill Midas, but when I saw that paper, I knew I couldn’t trust him.
The kids we found had faces like hers — innocent.
So pure, untouched by trauma and pain. Dustin called it in; he had too, there was no avoiding it.
His duty was to the badge, not me. He could play his little game of pretend; I was done waiting for others to catch up.
I won’t be a prisoner to anyone…again. My mind raced as I considered who would take Gabby.
There were too many threads pulled taunt.
A tangled web of lies that would one day kill me–it didn’t matter anymore; the only thing that mattered was Gabriella.
“Who else knew?” I sobbed, pushing Cole away.
I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, but I couldn’t bring myself to give in to him.
Cole was the reason I was missing my child.
He grabbed me again, ignoring the question.
Blood coated his torso. I had smeared it in my broken state.
forgetting the bullet was still in his shoulder, but he didn’t care about that.
I shoved my thumb into the wound, and his eyes flashed with anger as he shouted.
I took a step back, needing the space to think. “Who else fucking knew?”
“Isabella, I needed someone who could act as a mother. She wouldn’t do that though, I’ve paid her well,” he gritted out.
“Well she’s dead,” I sniffled. He looked at me with a look of pride and love, but I couldn’t be sucked into that. I just stared.
“ Reyna knew who she was, I don’t know who else would have put the dots together…” he trailed off before muttering, “oh no.”
“What?”
“He wouldn’t do that to you — ”
“Who?”
“Scott, I had to pick him up. I was visiting Reyna, giving her money and checking in. You called me from the hospital, and I raced to pick him up. We were only there for a few hours — ”
“What happened?”
“He stabbed me after learning the truth about your past and said he’d go kill Midas. He didn’t know who Gabriella belonged to, I swear. She only calls me uncle. If he did do it, I’ll kill him myself.” Cole paced back and forth, muttering curses under his breath.
“Where the fuck is he?” I beat the pistol against my temple trying to think of who Scott would seek, and I cried. Stupid girl.
“We have to set up a meeting with the blacks, it’s the only way to know for sure.” My gut twisted. I didn’t have a good feeling about this, but I would do everything to get her back.
“I’ll do it.”
“No, go get stitched up, I will do it. I don’t want your weak stomach to be the reason I lose my child and my — ” I shook my head, too rattled by everything. Fuck.
“So you do love him?” Cole’s question sounded more like a statement, and I didn’t know how to respond. My mouth felt dry, and I swallowed hard.
“I don’t know, I just don’t want him dead, if that means I love him then shoot me in the head if you can’t get on board.” What did I want? Family, I wanted my family.
“And the cop?” His mouth was set in a grim line, as if there were too many negative thoughts running through his head. That same look he got before a switch flipped, before he became that savage killer.
“I — ” I paused. There was no sense in trying to deny the feelings I felt towards the men in my life. If he couldn’t accept it, then he wasn’t worth being in my life. I stood there watching the emotions play out on his face before he gave a short laugh.
“Jesus woman, you’ll be the death of us all.” Cole shook his head in acceptance.