Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
Austin
Graduation Day
I called it limbo on lockdown because it wasn’t restricted enough to mimic prison. Yet it remained fully regulated to ensure seclusion from other divisions and a communication filter with the outside world.
The time—7:00 a.m.—flashed from the face of my watch. The room, lined wall to wall with bunks, vibrated with the bustle of a new day as dozens of men dressed for their assigned jobs.
Jenkins hid in the farthest bed from the door I’d just passed through.
A coward in his natural habitat.
And I couldn’t wait to throw a bone into his cage—one only I had the key to.
I approached the animal, which I only respected because I had to. His expression grew wary as he quickly rose from his thin mattress.
Was it so he could beg for mercy? He’d find no mercy in me.
“You gotta let me out of here, bro. My girlfriend is coming today! Has anyone even let her know I won’t be graduating?” Jesse spat nervously.
His buzz cut had grown out of regulation length weeks ago, but recruits who found themselves in holding had far more significant problems.
Especially him.
“I’m not your bro, Jenkins. What part of this dynamic do you not understand?”
Jesse had balls, calling me bro—I’d give him that. What he didn’t have was a say in when or how his girlfriend would be notified of his little change of plans. That power remained in my hands.
I’d never been more grateful.
“Look, I know I fucked up, but she flew in from Pensacola. She deserves to know that I’ll be stuck here for a while,” he begged. A look of pain stretched across his face. It was pathetic. Like him. “Please, just let me see her for five minutes … I need to talk to her!”
“But she doesn’t deserve to know why?” I reiterated.
He wanted her to know he wouldn’t graduate today, but I doubted he wanted her to understand the reason.
Luckily, I had all the proof I needed to convince her.
“Interesting that you think now is the time to give her what she deserves. Your timing is impeccable.” I adjusted the collar of my dress whites, not wanting Jesse’s poor me expression to soil the uniform I’d spent an hour starching the fuck out of last night. It had to be perfect for her.
“I was waiting to tell her what happened in person. She’s a good girl, and I need to explain myself. She doesn’t deserve to worry herself to death over the consequences of my actions. Fuck! Please, you have to help me.”
His begging did nothing to change my impression of him. Plus, I didn’t need him to tell me she didn’t deserve that. An enemy could treat her better.
“Explain yourself? How do you explain sneaking around with another woman and screwing her in a storage closet? Maybe you should have thought about your girlfriend when you were busy getting your dick wet,” I barked.
Anger tempted my neck with heat. But knowing I would see her in a few short hours iced my growing desire to punch him in his plastic-looking jaw.
“So, no one notified her? You want her to show up today and freak the fuck out in front of everyone? That’s real nice, Chief,” Jesse scoffed, balling his hands into useless fists.
He could try to use her against me, but his efforts would be wasted. I worked with hundreds of young men. In fact, being promoted to a division commander, teaching recruits in boot camp, was the highlight of my career.
But using Elle’s emotions to get what he wanted was the sure sign of a master manipulator. I was too experienced to let it bother me.
“Don’t worry. I’ll personally see to it that she’s notified and given a full briefing on your delay.”
The moment the promise escaped my lips, his eyes widened.
Yes, Jesse, today is the day she finds out your truth.
She’d have to wait a bit longer to learn mine.
I grinned. “You’ll have a chance to explain yourself to her when you’re officially kicked out of the program. Until then, I’ll ensure she’s cared for exactly how she should be.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” His face shifted slightly to the left, a look of confusion strangling his jawline and tightened mouth. I’d never seen eyes so wide that they looked like they could pop out of the sockets.
“It means, you’re a boy and I’m a man.” The words slipped off my tongue. I had no control over them. “You’ve demonstrated that you have no idea how to treat another human being. Thankfully, I know precisely how to do that.” My poisonous pitch softened to keep any wandering eyes off us.
The room was large enough that we had our space from the others. Still, attracting more attention to Jesse’s situation was the last thing I needed. As far as they knew, we had no connection outside Division 28.
“Can you just tell her … I’m sorry, and I’ll call or write to her as soon as I find a way to?” Jesse said, defeated.
Stay professional, Chief, I thought.
I didn’t feel bad for him, but I needed to make him feel like my words weren’t a full-on assassination of his character, even if I knew they were.
I was still his instructor. I’d also have to attend his Captain’s Mast review in a month and give my recommendations for disciplinary action.
The captain on base would have the final say in his future in the Navy.
I had no choice but to remain in his life until then.
Right now though, his fate belonged to me.
“If it makes you feel any better, I notified her you’re safe,” I admitted. Here’s your bone, Jesse.
“What?” His level of confusion matched the panic spewing from his reddening face. A veiny right hand flew up to his scalp and ran through his disheveled blond hair. His narrowed eyes showcased the questions that blinded his brain. “When? How?!”
“Don’t worry about the whens and the hows. If I were you, I’d spend my newfound free time thinking about how to explain myself when the time came. Today isn’t that time, but it’s coming … I promise you.”
I couldn’t stop him from talking to Elle forever. She’d need the closure. Soon, I’d give it to her for him. It would be like a favor, only not as much fun to repay.
Surprisingly, his internal chaos faded. I saw it in the way his stare met the linoleum floor he’d been shining with a toothbrush for weeks. His posture retreated into the shell of the boy he had been when he arrived as a hopeful recruit twelve weeks ago.
His transparent attempts at persuading me to see her today had told me he still cared for her. How easily he had given up told me he never truly loved her. If he did, he’d kick and scream at me to unlock his cage until I obeyed. Instead, he dropped back down on his bunk and wallowed in his defeat.
I took several steps toward the exit, needing to return to my office before the base entered full-on graduation mode. The families would be arriving soon, and I needed a level head before readying the deserving men in my division for the first milestone of their careers.
“Can you just give her this if she shows up today?”
Jesse’s fractured plea stopped me in my tracks. My few paces toward the exit bought him enough time to find and bring me a folded piece of loose-leaf paper.
He held it out for me to grab. Jesse wasn’t permitted to send mail once he entered the holding division, but he had plenty of free time to write.
Fuck.
“Sure thing,” I lied, stealing the lone sheet of paper from his grip.
I returned his hopeful stare with one made of disdain. He had no choice but to trust me to deliver whatever bullshit apology he’d penned for Elle.
A few minutes later, I sat down in my office chair for one final moment of reflection before the graduation chaos began, just after crumpling up and throwing Jesse’s pathetic attempt at an apology into the garbage can. I hadn’t read it. Hadn’t cared to.
Instead of dwelling on it, I switched gears and grabbed the shoebox-size metal tin from the top of my bookshelf, hidden behind my grandparents’ wedding photo. I placed the box on my desk and removed the lid to reflect on what was inside.
It was amazing how much it held.
Disbelief slowly shook my head left and then right, my smile illuminated by the box of fate that had brought us together.
My favorite photo of her topped the collection of loose letters, pictures, and envelopes I’d found when I cleaned out Jesse’s bunk after it was determined that he and a female recruit, Rita Camellino, were the ones triggering the security cameras.
Elle stared up at me from the glossy instant photo with the same innocence I remembered. Had she taken the picture for me specifically? No. However, there was no way it wasn’t meant for my eyes because Elle Madelyn had been fucking made for me.
I had known it the first time I saw her.
I had known it when the magnetism in her written words possessed me all over again.
I had known it when hers was the only face I could see when I closed my eyes at night.
And I had known it when Jesse wrote the final chapter of their story, making room for ours to begin.
Soon, I’d have congratulations to spread and my usual graduation-day leadership duties to complete, leaving one final undertaking lingering on my list. The chance I’d waited two whole years for.
Somehow, the tides had drifted Elle back into the safety of my harbor.
Nothing could stop me from making her mine.