Chapter 49
FORTY-NINE
Elle
HAROLDEEN LANE GREETED ME LIKE an old friend as my taxi driver descended the familiar road.
As it was the last time I had seen it, Austin’s house and the surrounding grass were blanketed with snowfall.
The front windows were illuminated by an interior glow that reflected off the frost covering them like silver-stained glass.
Blue hydrangeas still lined the porch.
The flowers that reminded him of me …
This time, they danced with every cool gust of wind that tickled them. The scene was every bit as magical as it was inviting. Excitement strangled my heart.
“Thanks for the ride, sir.” I handed the driver my fare before he popped the trunk and retrieved my overstuffed suitcase and duffel bag—my only belongings.
“No problem, darlin’. How long are you planning on stayin’? You want to schedule a pickup?” he offered.
“Actually, no. I won’t be going home anytime soon. I just accepted a job in Chicago,” I replied. Icy breath clouded the space between us. I brushed my palms together in a sad attempt to warm them up.
Would I ever get used to the cold?
“Wow. Big-city girl, huh? Enjoy then. And welcome.” The black-haired gentleman, who could have starred in an old-school Mafia flick, climbed back into the driver’s seat and sped away. Slick ice was no match for the chains on his tires.
“Time to start my new life.” I spoke into the chill, hopeful that the decisions that had brought me back were the right ones.
My new job started on Monday, which meant Austin and I had almost a week together before I was due to move into my new apartment fifteen minutes away. With no return ticket holding me back, I was finally ready to face the invisible tether I’d avoided for far too long.
The one anchoring me to Austin.
If jitters were countable, I’d say a thousand swarmed my body when I stomped the snow from my boots and stopped on Austin’s doorstep.
I looked around. The house was exactly how I remembered it, aside from the new structure now standing next to its infamous woodshed and the hand-carved sign hanging from its peak.
The Chief’s Woodshed was legible from the road, making me wonder if Austin had taken his hobby to the next level in my absence.
The planks below my heels creaked when I inched forward. Would my arrival precede me?
“Here we go,” I released, counting backward from five. Firmly, I knocked on the door. I couldn’t wait to see him, to surprise the hell out of him.
To forgive him in person.
Knock, knock.
Second attempt, and still no answer.
The Ol’ Green Goddess was parked in its usual spot. It was after working hours; surely, he was home, right?
I jiggled the handle, and the door swung open. Did that mean I should enter? I took it as a sign and walked inside.
The house, overflowing with comfort the last time I’d been in it, was frigid and dark. Its once-tidy interior was riddled with laundry piles and empty liquor bottles. One lamp was switched on in the living room.
What the hell?
I asked myself what could have happened in Austin’s world from graduation to now to cause the type of chain reaction I was staring at. Realization narrowed my throat when I realized precisely what had caused the bomb to drop.
Me.
Suddenly, a soft hum of running water met my ears. Austin was showering. The last thing I wanted to do was scare him. If he thought I was an intruder, there was no telling what kind of wrath I’d find myself in the middle of. He had been trained to counter potential threats after all.
I hung my coat in his entryway, positioned my luggage next to the front door, and spent the next few minutes alone, loading the dishwasher.
Quickly, I wiped his kitchen counters down and then sat at his table, where I awaited my fate.
My knees, practically attached to mini trampolines, bobbed against the underside of the table.
I should have called and told him I was coming, I thought, chewing at the corner of my manicure.
Too late.
The sound of running water disappeared. I heard Austin curse.
After a few silent moments, his footsteps asserted themselves down the hallway, one by one, as they crawled toward me.
I clenched the table and stabilized my breathing like I’d learned to in yoga.
If I were in boat pose, the bitch was about to rock.
Much like he did when I imagined my safe place, Austin emerged—his body bare, aside from the tight boxers stretching against his waistline. He dripped wet.
I swore, he turned into ice when he looked up and noticed me. I watched in awe as his chiseled chest rose and fell, glistening.
“Happy New Year’s Eve, Austin.”
“Elle?” he breathed. His eyes narrowed. One nostril flared bigger than the other, like a vampire catching a whiff of fresh virgin blood.
Austin’s repeated blinks and broken exhale told me that in his mind, I was a ghost. I made my living, breathing presence known as I rose from the dead and crept toward him. My hands trembled, though I begged them to remain still.
“I didn’t mean to surprise you,” I said, his magnetism drawing me forward. “But you surprised me at graduation, so I felt it was only fair.” I shrugged innocently. “I knocked a few times, and it was freezing, so … I didn’t think you’d mind if I let myself in. The front door was unlocked, and …”
“You can walk into this house anytime you want,” Austin cut in. His response was firm and serious. Intimidating. “It’s nothing without you. It’s been nothing since the day you walked out that door …”
Peppery pricks tickled my arms. His statement was a novel, confirming everything I wanted to hear again.
“Tell me about the suitcases,” he demanded. He pointed toward the luggage clogging his entry. No other part of him moved while he awaited my answer.
“I accepted a counseling position in Chicago. I live here now.” I glanced at my imaginary wristwatch before continuing, “As of two hours ago, when my flight landed actually. I thought maybe I could stay here for the weekend. My apartment will be ready in a day or two, and my new job starts Monday.”
“You … you live here now? In Chicago? Which is less than an hour from me.” His tongue spread like sweet jam across his lips. “I don’t understand. Help me understand what’s happening right now,” he begged.
I said nothing.
“Can I please touch you?”
Slowly, I nodded. My eyes beamed toward him like bright southern stars, lighting his path through the room.
I noticed the ridges in his arms pulse as he approached me and cautiously pulled my hands into his. A shadow crept into his infectious grin.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered, inhaling him deeply.
Austin tilted my chin up before I could breathe, his line of sight melting into mine. His firm touch remained glued to my jaw, ensuring I couldn’t look away.
Multiple shades of green reflected in the gaze that reminded me of the northern lights, easily capturing my full attention.
“Elle, before I do what comes next, I need you to tell me every single thought that’s lived in your pretty little mind for the past eight months because being here without you, constantly thinking about you, has been a fucking nightmare.
” His tone grew deeper. Deadlier. “And if you wake me up from that hell, I’ll never go back to sleep.
Before that happens, I need to know exactly what brought you back here.
” His confession was as carnal as the tension building between us.
I let the moment consume me.
“No matter how hard I tried not to, I’ve thought about you every day since I left,” I admitted.
Have I stopped breathing? I couldn’t tell while we stared into each other.
“I never should have gone before giving you a chance to explain. I was hurt and confused, pissed even. I’d thought I was falling for Jesse in those letters, pouring myself and my future into the man I thought he could be.
But reading them again, the old ones and the new, I saw how different you both were and how good your words made me feel.
How strong and genuine of a man you are, even if it takes breaking some rules to prove it.
” I paused before adding, “I didn’t fall for Jesse. I fell for you.”
Immediately, his thick biceps stiffened around me, cloaking me before he sank to his knees and pulled me into his lap.
“I forgive you, Austin. For everything. The letters you wrote me in our time apart … they were beautiful. Reading them felt like I was getting to know the real you. I’m finally ready to see what we can be …” I spoke against his arm. My eyelashes brushed his skin.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you,” he said with regret. Red patches spread like wildfire across his chest.
Embarrassed Austin was a version of him I hadn’t yet experienced. It was vulnerable and scorching hot.
“I understand why you did it.”
“You do?” Austin sat back, positioning himself where he could see my face while still holding on to me.
“Well … sort of.” I shrugged. “The letters helped with that. They showed me even more ways we fit together. Our personalities, the wants for our lives. Reading them felt like talking to a best friend, one I’d known for my entire existence.” I swallowed before saying, “But, maybe …”
“But maybe what?” Austin’s expression fell, stuck somewhere between relief and worry.
“Maybe you can help me understand it better, Chief …”
The weight of my suggestion sank me deeper into his embrace. He shifted slightly.
“And you’re sure about this? About us? Because I can’t lose you again …” His eyes clamped shut, as if the memory of our time apart pained him.
It hurt me too.
“I’m sure,” I said confidently. “I’m sure I’m crazy enough to love you, Austin.”