Chapter 9
NINE
SHANE
It’s seven thirty, Summer is about two blinks away from falling asleep, and we’re only halfway through Green Eggs and Ham. This is awesome. She usually makes me go through a few books before finally nodding off.
Willa is in Lucky’s room, reading to him.
I took on bath time duties since I had gotten a couple of hours sleep before dinner and have been feeling great.
Now I am simultaneously impatient for and dreading the moment when Willa and I will be the only two people awake in this house.
It is bizarre, how quickly she has assimilated into our life.
I try my luck at turning a chunk of about ten Dr. Seuss pages at a time and hope that she doesn’t notice when I continue reading, but Summer knows this book by heart. “Daddy.”
“What?” I ask innocently.
I expect her to turn the pages back, but instead she says, “Is Willa always going to live here?”
“No. She’s just here to help me out with you guys until your mom is back from making the movie she’s making now. Then we’ll hire a different nanny. Why? Don’t you like having her here?”
“Yeah. She’s better at singing than you. I think she should live with us all the time.”
“Well, I don’t think that’s something she’d want to do. Being a nanny isn’t her normal job. She needs to get her own place eventually. But you can enjoy her while she’s here, right? You tired?”
She nods.
“Did you have fun today?”
“Yes.”
“Hey there,” Willa whispers as she tiptoes into the room. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“Lucky asleep?”
“Out like an adorable light.” She stops at the foot of the bed and clasps her hands behind her back in a way that pushes her chest out and makes me want to die a little.
“I just wanted to say good night to Summer, but—wow.” She grins at me.
“I never would have guessed you’d look so good as a redhead. ”
Fuck.
I remove the child-size Little Mermaid wig that I had forgotten was on my head and toss it on the floor. “She made me wear it.”
“I would have too if I’d known about it. Keep reading.”
“Actually, I think we’re done, right, sleepyhead?”
Summer can barely keep her eyes open. “What are you going to do when we’re asleep?”
“Nothing,” I answer quickly.
“Separate stuff,” Willa says.
“Nothing together.”
“You should watch a movie,” Summer says.
“I’m sure Willa has more important things to do.”
“Not really. What movie should we watch?”
Summer smirks. “Austin Powers.”
Willa gasps. “That’s one of my favorite movies to watch—all three of them, actually.”
“Oh, really? You like those movies, but you think mine are stupid?”
“Well, the Austin Powers movies know they’re stupid.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And I never said your movies are stupid. I would love to watch Austin Powers tonight, Summer, that’s a great idea.”
“Say it,” Summer says, pointing her finger at me without moving her head from the pillow.
“Nope. Good night.”
“Say it, or I won’t close my eyes.” She tries so hard to keep her eyes open.
“You say it.”
She giggles. “Throw me a frickin’ bone here.”
“Yeah, bay-bee, yeah!”
Willa snort-laughs. “Oh, behave!”
“Yeah!” I kiss Summer on her forehead before standing up. “You get your groovy self to sleep now, bay-bee!” I may not be a good singer, but my Austin Powers impression is shagadelic.
“Good night, Summer.” Willa walks over, leans down, and kisses my daughter once on each cheek. “That’s how French people kiss each other when they say hello and good-bye,” she explains.
“Are you saying good-bye?” Summer sounds so worried.
“No! I mean, they do that when they say good night too. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. ’Night.”
Willa smiles at me and walks out of the room, leaving an unbearably fragrant trail in her wake. I’ve never been much into desserts, but today I find myself wanting to eat out an entire bakery. I mean, eat up. Eat up an entire bakery.
I turn off the bedside lamp. Summer doesn’t respond when I tell her I love her.
That was—hands down—the most struggle-free bedtime routine I have experienced with Summer since she turned five and realized she was a Jedi Knight who can make me do whatever she wants.
I don’t know what kind of aromatherapy or voodoo magic Willa is practicing on us, but I am all for it.
Willa is looking out the family room window when I get there.
It’s a clear night, the room is bathed in moonlight, and the dark outline of her figure is beckoning me.
What do you call a horny guy who can’t touch the strange, beautiful woman he’s quietly staring at from the doorway like a creeper? Me.
I press the dimmer switch to turn the overhead lights on low, causing her to jump.
“Sorry.”
She starts fiddling with the pendant of her gold necklace. “Guess we missed the sunset.”
“Yeah. I usually miss it on school nights this time of year. But on the weekend—if you’re not busy doing something more exciting—we can go for a walk on the bluffs in the evening. With the kids. That’s kind of the thing to do around here.”
“Sounds like my kind of thing.” She smiles at me as she crosses over to one of the armchairs.
I go over to my Blu-ray collection. “We don’t have to watch Austin Powers if you don’t want to.”
“Oh, I want to. Yeah bay-bee!”
I am now remembering that Nico and I used to crack each other up on set by saying our lines like Austin Powers during read-throughs. “You let Nico know you got here safe?”
“Yes. While you were in the shower this morning. I’m sure he’s already gotten to second base with that model by now.”
I wonder if she knows that second base for Nico is doggy style.
I try to shake all thoughts of sex out of my head as I start the movie and go over to sit on the sofa, as far from where Willa is sitting as possible.
“You’re a good dad.”
I have to chuckle at that. “I try. I mean. I like to be good at things, you know? But ever since I had kids, I’ve felt like I’m failing at everything except keeping them alive and preventing them from murdering anyone.”
“You’re a really good dad. Trust me. You need to absorb that. The father of the family I lived with in Versailles was absent even when he was there. Same with my dad. You really pay attention to your kids. All the time. That’s not a small thing.”
I feel uniquely humbled and moved by this. “Thanks. I don’t think anyone’s ever told me I’m a good dad before.”
“Well.” She flicks her hand dismissively. “Most people are idiots.”
“I’ve noticed that. Did you want popcorn or anything?”
She shakes her head. “I’m still stuffed from dinner.”
“Me too. I’m going to have to do extra cardio tomorrow.”
She guffaws and makes some wry comment, but now I’m too busy thinking that I should put my personal training sessions on hold while Willa’s here, or at least move them to the gym. My trainer’s a fucking stud and he will be all over her.
I mean…I did promise Nico I’d keep her away from guys like that.
Willa’s chair is angled to face the TV, so I can easily shift my gaze from the TV over to her without it being obvious.
She is so pretty and fun and so comfortable with my kids and in my house.
Too bad she can’t stay here all the time.
“Shane. Shane. Shane. Shane. Shane.” That voice. That sexy fucking voice. I never want to stop hearing her say my name.
“Mmph.”
“You should go up to bed.”
I open my eyes a crack to find a shapely pair of legs in tight jeans in front of me, and my instinct is to reach out, hook my fingers into the waist of those jeans, and pull down.
“Whoa.”
I open my eyes all the way and realize I’ve just yanked the nanny down onto the sofa beside me.
She places her hand on my chest for balance.
I realize I’m lying down. I realize I fell asleep.
I realize that she covered me with a blanket.
I realize that I was having a raunchy sex dream about her while she was ten feet away and I was about to act it out right here, while my kids sleep upstairs.
I remove my fingers from between the waist of Willa’s jeans and her smooth bare skin. “Shit. Sorry. I fell asleep.”
“Yes. You did.” She pats my arm and stands up.
I sit up immediately, unable to think of many more things I could have done that are less cool. “Is the movie over?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry. I was half asleep…”
She walks over to the TV to turn it off. “It’s fine.” She looks over her shoulder at me coyly. “Do I make you horny, bay-bee?”
Yes. Fucking yes. But I shake my head, frowning. “Don’t even joke about that.”
Her face falls. “Alrighty, then.”
I have no idea why I just snapped at her, other than to hide the fact that my answer is ‘yes, fucking yes.’
“I ran the dishwasher, so I’ll put the dishes away and go to my room. Don’t forget to use the essential oil diffuser. The kids spent a lot of time deciding which ones to use.”
She leaves before I can apologize or get up to grab her, press her up against the wall, and kiss her.
I want to do both of those things, but tonight I can only do one of them.
I fling the fuzzy blanket off me and rub my scalp vigorously to wake myself up.
I barely know her, but already there is so much that I want to do with this woman, and all I can do is apologize to her.
“Sorry,” I say, as I enter the kitchen.
She doesn’t look up from stacking the clean plates on the counter. “You don’t have to apologize.” She forces a smile. “My Austin Powers imitation isn’t half as good as yours anyway. Good thing I’m not trying to be an actor.”
“Yours is better than most,” I say as I transfer the plates to the cupboard. “You ever consider acting?”
“Don’t even joke about that,” she deadpans.
She continues removing dishes from the dishwasher and handing them to me so I can put them away. We’re quiet for a good minute. Until I can’t stand how comfortable and right this feels anymore.