Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
WILLA
ONE MONTH LATER
“Oy vey! We made it! Mazel tov!” I got a little tired of Summer’s Eliza Doolittle impression, so we watched Fiddler on the Roof a couple of weeks ago, and now she wants to be Jewish.
“Mazel tov!” I tickle her waist as I help her out of the car seat.
“Let’s go see some flowers!” It took almost an hour in Saturday traffic, but since the kids don’t have any parties or play dates today, I decided to bring them to a botanical garden that’s over thirty miles away from home, in the hills of Northeast Los Angeles.
I want to get some photos of the roses and camellias that are in bloom here, for Instagram, and the twins needed to get out of the house.
Summer was in a mood this morning, probably because her daddy hasn’t been around as much as usual lately.
The premiere for his big summer comedy is on Thursday, and he’s been so busy with publicity stuff for the past couple of weeks.
We’ve all been a bit stressed and moody lately.
Shane isn’t thrilled that I don’t want to be his date to the premiere, but he understands why.
He wanted me to keep sleeping in his bed once the kids came back home, but I think I should sleep in the nanny room any time they’re around.
If he and Margo always think of the children first, then he and I should too.
Boundaries. I know how hard it was for Shane to cross the line when he talked to Nico about me, but I still need the nanny-employer boundaries to define my life right now.
Because there aren’t any boundaries in my heart.
Fortunately for everyone, the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack is on Spotify, so we listened to it all the way here.
It cheered us up a bit. Summer wanted to sing “Matchmaker” over and over again, and Lucky wanted to hear “If I Were a Rich Man” because he’s fascinated by the singer’s deep voice and all the funny noises he makes.
“Come with me,” I tell Summer while I go around to the other side door to get Lucky out of his car seat.
“Bahdahbahdahbahdbahduhbahduh biddy biddy bum!” Lucky’s arms are up in the air, and he’s wiggling his shoulders, the way the father in the movie dances.
“Let’s get your biddy biddy bum out of here.” I pull him out and realize that Summer is not by my side. “Summer!”
“Yabba dibba dibba dubba dabba dibba dibba dum!” Her voice comes from about twenty feet away. The parking lot isn’t too busy, but still.
“Summer! Stop where you are and wait for us!” I shut the door.
“Daidel deedle daidel daidel hurry up!”
I grab Lucky’s hand, and we jog over to where Summer is standing.
“We all need to stay together,” I say to Summer. “Take my hand.”
“You forgot to make the car beep,” Lucky says.
“What? Oh right.” I lock the car with the key fob, and then I take Summer’s hand as we cross the lot to the entrance to the gardens and wait in the short line.
“Are there animals here?” Lucky asks.
“Good question. It’s not a zoo, but I’m sure we’ll see some birds and squirrels, maybe lizards.”
“I wanna see lizards!”
“Me too!”
“Is Papa going to meet us here?” Summer has started calling Shane “Papa” and Margo “Mama” while pointing out that there aren’t any nannies in the “fiddler family.” She now refers to me as “Tzeitel,” the eldest daughter.
“No. I told you, we’ll see him at the house for dinner.”
“Tzeitel?”
“Yes, Summer?”
“When is matchmaker going to make you a match?” There’s a teasing tone to her voice, but I still don’t like it. She has been such an adorable little turd, ever since they Skyped with Margo last night.
“What makes you think I need a matchmaker?”
“Because you don’t have a husband.”
“Well, Fiddler on the Roof takes place in Russia in 1905. Things are a little different here and now.”
“But Abby’s mom uses match dot com to find husbands.”
“Good point. But I’m not looking.”
“Why not?” She eyes me suspiciously. “Do you already have one?”
“No.” Fortunately, I’m up next to pay for admission, so I can ignore her when she asks me if Papa should have a matchmaker.
“But where will you go when the new nanny moves in?”
“I don’t know for sure yet. Probably back to Nico’s place for a while.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Lucky whines. “I don’t like the new nanny.”
“What new nanny?”
Summer lets go of me so she can jump in front of Lucky and cover his mouth with her hands. “You’re not supposed to say anything, ’member? Oy vey!”
“You already met your new nanny?”
Summer lets her head drop back and smacks her forehead. “Yes!” She takes my outstretched hand again. “At spring break. Mommy made us meet her. I mean, Mama. I liked her. She brought cookies.”
This is news to me, although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Margo would want to interview nannies while she was in town.
It’s just odd that Shane hasn’t mentioned it.
And that somebody didn’t want the twins to mention it to me.
And it’s ridiculous that I’m feeling a pang of jealousy about being replaced, because it’s not like I want to be their nanny forever.
I’m just hoping—perhaps it’s irrational of me to be expecting—to be in their life forever and ever.
But I can’t think about that now.
This garden is the perfect size—not small, but it doesn’t feel expansive.
It’s blissfully peaceful and quiet. There are so many trees that provide shade and dappled light.
I can tell I’m going to love it here. I let go of the twins’ hands for a few seconds to study the map handout.
There are a lot of different sections and paths.
Some paths are paved around the perimeter, and some go through the woods in the center of the property.
After making the twins close their eyes and inhale the incredible scent of the wisteria near the entrance, after agreeing to buy Summer a soft pretzel for her to share with Lucky, and after taking them both to the bathroom, we’ve finally made it to the Japanese Garden.
The kids are happy to stand here on the little bridge and watch the koi in the pond.
I check my phone to see if there are any messages from Shane.
After seeing how he was constantly surrounded by people before and after the screening a month ago, I have some idea of why he doesn’t have much time to keep in touch when he’s working.
There aren’t any messages from Shane. But there is an e-mail from my mentor in Versailles, letting me know that the German perfume studio in New York still has one lab tech position available.
I had politely declined to interview after he first told me about the job because I still had two months of nanny work left and I didn’t want Shane to worry about finding someone to replace me.
But Margo will be back from Poland in just under a month. I need to figure out my next move.
I have a good chunk of change saved thanks to Shane, but it would only be enough for a deposit and a few months’ rent, given the money I have to put into my new business.
Christina at the boutique keeps ordering more of my perfume oil every week—she sells out within days every time.
I have steady sales on Etsy now, but it’s not enough to cover rent yet since I don’t have time to produce and ship more than thirty bottles a week now.
So I’d pretty much have to stay with my brother again.
I’ve been designing my own website storefront, which I plan to launch once I’m done working for Shane, but I’ll need space for all of my supplies.
I haven’t talked to Nico about setting up a work area yet.
I’m starting to panic just a little bit. Shane’s busy schedule has meant that we don’t get much time to talk, much less kiss each other, and I keep getting glimpses of what his life would be like when I’m not living with him anymore. I need to have a plan. I can’t ignore this job opportunity.
By the time I look up from my phone, Summer and Lucky are no longer on the bridge.
I see Summer dragging Lucky over to the Japanese Tea House.
“Summer! Wait for me!” I am already questioning my decision to bring them here by myself.
I usually just shuttle them around, picking them up and dropping them off, or I take them to the beach where it’s easy to keep an eye on them.
The other times we’ve gone on outings like this, it has been the four of us.
“You have to stop running off like that.”
“We weren’t running!”
“You need to stay with me. Both of you. Always.”
“But you were looking at your phone! Oy!”
“I was just checking to see if your papa sent a text or not.”
“Did he?”
“No. Let’s keep walking.”
“Can I get a hot dog?”
“You just ate a pretzel.”
“But I finished it.”
“We’ll have lunch in an hour, Summer. You’ll just have to wait.” I don’t mean to snap at her, but oy vey.
She doesn’t growl at me or stick out her lower lip like she usually does. She just frowns and goes silent. Which is even more troubling.
Lucky looks up at me apologetically, taking my hand.
“Let’s go see the rose garden. Does that sound good?”
“Okay. Is it far away?”
“I don’t think so. We’ll just cross back over the bridge and then follow the main path to the right.”
“Okay.”
Summer continues her silent rage, staring at the ground while walking hand-in-hand with Lucky. She doesn’t even look at the koi when we cross the bridge.
“Hey. Where do fish keep their money?”
Lucky wrinkles his brow. “Their pockets?”
“A river bank!”
No reaction from the twins. I don’t blame them. That one’s a thinker.
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Honeydew.”
“Honeydew who?”
“Honeydew you want to hear some more jokes?”
Lucky laughs. He may or may not actually get the joke, but he definitely wants to lighten the mood. Summer is still sulking. I glance over at the snack bar as we pass by and briefly consider buying her a hot dog just to cheer her up so she’ll like me again. But no. Nope. I’m in charge. Not her.