Chapter 14 #3
Astoria leaned down and kissed again, deeper this time, and Astoria let her tongue slide into Miller’s mouth with deliberate slowness. Her hand slipped lower, her fingers hooking into the waistband of Miller’s panties. She paused and looked up at her.
“Can I take them off?”
Miller visibly swallowed and nodded. “Please.”
Astoria smiled, easing the lace down Miller’s hips and tossing it aside.
She settled between Miller’s legs, her own body warmer against Miller’s cooler skin.
Starting at her inner thigh, Astoria kissed her way up, light bites punctuating the path, tiny nips on the soft flesh that made Miller squirm.
When she reached Miller’s pussy, already slick with arousal, Astoria didn’t rush.
She parted Miller’s folds with two fingers, stroking the outer lips slowly, feeling the wetness coat her skin.
“You’re so wet already,” Astoria purred against Miller’s inner thigh.
She circled Miller’s clit with her thumb, applying just enough pressure on the swollen nub to make Miller’s hips buck against her.
Miller moaned, her hands fisting the sheets.
Astoria leaned in, her tongue flicking out to taste her, a long, flat lick from entrance to clit, and Miller cried out.
Astoria took her time, licking in slow, steady strokes, her mouth covering Miller’s pussy as she sucked gently on the clit.
Her fingers joined in, one sliding along the entrance, teasing without pushing inside.
Miller’s breaths came in short gasps, and her body trembled from the pleasure building layer by layer.
“Oh, god, that feels…”
“Tell me if you want more,” Astoria encouraged, her free hand stroking Miller’s thigh.
She slipped a finger inside, curling it upward to stroke Miller’s walls, as she continued to lap at her clit.
Astoria added a second finger, pumping slowly, her mouth never easing up.
Miller clenched around her fingers, and Astoria pumped faster.
Miller’s groans deepened into a low, guttural sound, and Astoria could feel Miller’s core tightening even more as she chased the orgasm.
Astoria thrust her fingers deeper and pressed her tongue firmer against Miller’s clit, and when Miller’s entire body tensed, her pussy pulsing around Astoria’s fingers, Astoria rode it out and kept licking softly until Miller’s body went limp.
“Mmmm, you’re beautiful,” Astoria said, crawling up to kiss her and let her taste herself on Astoria's lips.
Miller took a moment to catch her breath. “That was amazing. Can I…try that with you?”
Astoria’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that. Lie back on the pillow. I’ll guide you.”
She peeled off her own panties, revealing her freshly shaven pussy, and straddled Miller’s chest, positioning herself so Miller could reach. “Start by touching me with your hands, like I did for you, and feel how wet I am.”
Miller’s fingers reached up and traced her folds, running over them slowly. She parted them, finding Astoria’s slick heat, and Astoria moaned.
“Yeah, just like that. Circle my clit with your thumb, gently at first.”
Miller followed, her thumb rubbing against the swollen nub in slow, tight circles. “Good girl, now, slide a finger inside and feel as I squeeze against you.”
Miller pushed her middle finger into Astoria’s entrance, and Astoria squeezed around it. Miller gasped, and her eyes went wide. She pumped experimentally at first, then faster as she found her rhythm, earning a gasp from Astoria.
“Add a second one,” Astoria panted. “Your ring finger. Then curl them up.”
Miller followed directions, and Astoria could feel when Miller stretched her out with a second finger.
“Curl them up. Right there, just like that.” Astoria’s eyes rolled as Miller found her g-spot and massaged it. “Oh fuck, yes. Don’t stop.”
Miller obeyed, continuing thrusting at the same pace as Astoria’s pleasure built.
“Do you want to taste me?” Astoria asked, looking down at Miller.
Miller pupils widened. “Yes.”
“Good.” Astoria shifted forward so her core hovered near Miller’s mouth. “Lick slow, from bottom to top, and make your tongue flat.”
Miller hesitated only for a second before leaning in, her tongue dragging along Astoria’s slit. The smooth, wet sensation almost made her come completely undone, but Astoria held back, wanting to drag out the moment longer.
“Mmmm, perfect,” Astoria sighed as Miller’s tongue grazed over her clit.
Miller’s mouth latched onto her clit, then, sucking lightly as her fingers kept plunging in and out. Astoria’s moans filled the room as she circled her hips.
“I’m close, keep going, just like that. Don’t stop your fingers.”
Miller kept going, never once easing up or breaking her rhythm, her tongue flicking over her clit lightly then harder.
Astoria grabbed the headboard as her body tensed and waves of pleasure rippled through her body. “Oh my god, yes!”
Astoria rode the aftershocks briefly, then collapsed beside her, pulling Miller into a deep kiss.
“That was perfection,” Astoria said. “If I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t have known that was your first time with a woman.”
Miller’s cheeks flushed from the praise as she pulled the comforter around them. “That was incredible. I’ve never… I mean…” She looked up at the ceiling for a couple seconds. “Yeah, incredible.”
Astoria smiled despite herself and snuggled closer to Miller, smelling her hair and feeling the sheen of sweat lingering on her neck.
Astoria didn’t know how long they lay there.
The city lights filtered through the curtains, casting soft patterns across the ceiling.
Miller was tucked against her side, her head on Astoria's shoulder, one hand resting on her stomach.
Their legs were tangled together under the sheets, skin against skin, and Astoria couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this.
..quiet. Not tired, not numb, just quiet in a way that felt like peace.
She traced idle patterns on Miller’s arm without thinking about it. Circles, spirals, nothing in particular. Miller made a soft sound and pressed closer.
“You okay?” Astoria asked.
“Mmm.” Miller's voice was drowsy and satisfied. “More than okay.”
“Yeah?”
Miller lifted her head, propping her chin on Astoria's shoulder to look at her. Her hair was a mess, her lips slightly swollen, and she was smiling in a way that made something turn over in Astoria's chest.
“Yeah,” Miller said. “That was… I didn’t know it could feel like that.”
Astoria tucked a strand of hair behind Miller's ear, letting her fingers linger. “Like what?”
“Like everything made sense.” Miller's smile turned a little shy. “I spent so many years thinking something was wrong with me. That I just wasn't built for passion, or that I was too in my head, or…” She shook her head. “Turns out I was just looking in the wrong direction.”
Astoria understood that more than Miller knew. She pressed a kiss to Miller’s forehead, then another on her temple. Miller’s eyes fluttered closed.
“Stay there,” Astoria murmured, and she wasn’t sure if she meant physically or just…stay in this moment. Stay soft and open and looking at her like that.
They settled back into silence. Astoria’s fingers found their way to Miller’s hair, combing through it gently and working out the tangles they’d created earlier. Miller practically melted into her.
“That feels nice,” Miller whispered.
“Good.”
More silence with soft touches—Astoria’s hand in her hair, Miller's fingers tracing her collarbone. Astoria pressed a kiss to her shoulder, then another, a trail of them along the curve of muscle. She could feel Miller's smile against her skin.
This was new for her. She’d had sex before, plenty of it, though never like this, the after.
The wanting to stay, to touch, to exist in the same space without needing to fill it with words or performance.
With Valerie, the after had always felt like coming down from something, a return to the usual distance they maintained.
Astoria had assumed that was just how it worked.
It wasn’t, though. She knew that now.
She glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was past eleven. She should go.
“What are you thinking?” Miller asked.
“That I should leave.” Astoria’s hand stilled in her hair. “And that I really don’t want to.”
Miller was quiet for a moment. “Then don’t.”
“I can’t stay the night. If someone saw us leaving together in the morning…”
“I know.” Miller propped herself up on one elbow, looking down at Astoria. “I know the risks. I’m not asking you to be reckless.”
“I want to be reckless.” The admission slipped out before Astoria could stop it. “That’s the problem. I want to stay here with you and order room service and fall asleep and not think about what happens tomorrow. I want to be the kind of person who can do that.”
Miller’s expression softened. She leaned down and kissed her, slow and sweet and unhurried. “You’re already that person. You’re just also the person who’s careful. Both things can be true.”
Astoria laughed quietly. “When did you get so wise?”
“Somewhere between the elevator and the bed, apparently.”
They kissed again, longer this time, and Astoria let herself sink into it, let herself have this one last moment before reality reasserted itself.
When they finally broke apart, she made herself sit up. The sheets pooled at her waist, and she felt Miller’s eyes on her, warm and appreciative. She didn’t reach for her clothes.
“The room is paid through tomorrow,” Astoria said. “You should stay. Get some sleep, order room service in the morning—they do an excellent breakfast. Put whatever you want on the room. I left my card at the desk.”
Miller raised an eyebrow. “You’re putting me up in a hotel?”
“I’m making sure you don’t have to drive home tonight if you don’t want to.” Astoria found Miller’s hand and laced their fingers together. “And maybe I like the idea of you being comfortable in a bed I was just in with you.”
Miller’s cheeks flushed. “That’s…surprisingly romantic.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”
Miller laughed, and the sound filled something in Astoria that had been empty for longer than she wanted to admit.
She got dressed slowly, aware of Miller watching her from the bed. It felt intimate in a different way than undressing had—the return to the outside world, layer by layer. Blouse, skirt, heels. When she was done, she sat on the edge of the bed.
Miller reached up and straightened her collar, a small domestic gesture that made Astoria's throat tight.
“When will I see you again?” Miller asked.
“Soon.” The word wasn’t enough, but it was all Astoria had. “I don’t know how this works yet. We’ll have to be careful.”
“I know.”
“But I do want to see you again. I want—” Astoria stopped, not sure how to finish the sentence. She wanted so many things she couldn’t name yet.
“I know,” Miller said again, softer this time. “Me too.”
Astoria leaned down and kissed her one more time, a proper kiss, the kind that said goodbye but also promised hello.
“Get some sleep,” she said. “I’ll call you.”
“You’d better.”
Astoria smiled, and it felt unfamiliar on her face.
Real in a way her smiles hadn’t been for years.
She made herself walk to the door. Made herself open it, step into the hallway, and let it close behind her.
The click of the latch felt final, but not in a bad way, like the end of one thing and the beginning of something else.
The drive home was quiet. She didn’t turn on the radio or fill the silence with anything, just sat with the feeling of Miller's skin against hers, the sound of her laugh, and the way she'd looked in the lamplight with her hair spread across the pillow.
Her house was dark when she pulled into the driveway.
She sat in the car for a moment, her hands still on the steering wheel, not quite ready to go inside and be alone with all of this.
She felt different. Not transformed or fixed, just…
different, like something that had been clenched tight for years had finally loosened.
She wanted to see Miller again. She wanted to touch her, talk to her, learn all the things she didn’t know yet. She wanted to find out what this thing between them could become if they let it.
That wanting felt new. It felt real.
And for the first time in longer than she could remember, Astoria let herself want without bracing for the cost.