Chapter Twelve
Purgatory
Dima
“I am the King of making mistakes.”
– Dirge
He shuddered on top of her breathing hard, so it took him a few minutes to realize she was hitting him against the shoulders and telling him to let her go.
Confused, Dima raised himself up and off her. “What’s wrong?” He gazed down into her eyes.
The angriest expression crossed her beautiful face while she removed the toys from her body as if they offended her and flung them across the room. They hit the wall with a resounding crash.
“Who the fuck are you?” she yelled as she scurried off the bed and grabbed a robe that had been hanging on the back of the door.
Finally, he realized he had called her baby doll, the name he’d only called her in her dream state. Dima had to play this cool. “What do you mean? I’m Dima Valdez.”
“Now, you’re gaslighting me. Who the fuck are you? Because there is no way you could be in my dreams and be real at the same time.”
Dima sighed and glanced back to see if they had an audience. He asked them to leave and then turned back to Xolani. “I’m not sure you will understand or be able to accept who I am.”
“Fucking try me.” She stood stiffly as she waited for an explanation.
Her anger made her even more beautiful, and he stared at her for a few moments. He had a feeling this would be the end of what he had with her. With the writing on the wall, Dirge understood the gig was up and went to grab his pants, slipping them on as he talked,
“I’m an incubus. That is how I could be in your dreams and in your existence.”
Xolani stared at him and then busted out laughing.
She laughed so long he thought she was losing it. Well, at least this is better than cussing me out, he thought.
However, she stopped laughing and her face turned serious. “Get out.”
“Xolani...”
“If you can’t tell me the truth, get out,” she snapped.
“I’m telling you the truth. This is why I said you wouldn’t understand or be able to accept it.”
“You must have drugged me or something.” Now she teared up and angrily swiped at the tears that fell.
He’d fucked up. Royally fucked up. “No, I’ve never drugged you. This has all been with your consent.”
She slowly shook her head at him.
“Perhaps the only way you will realize the truth is seeing me for who I really am.” Changing into his demon form would be the only way for her to believe him.
He swallowed hard and then slowly transformed into that form.
Dima turned into Dirge with horns on the side of his head, flesh turning a light gray color and his dark wings against his back.
He didn’t come with a tail which was the popular belief.
Other than the wings and horns that protruded from his forehead, he still had the same features.
He watched as Xolani’s eyes rounded and she stumbled back against the door.
He reached out to touch her. “I wouldn’t harm a hair on your beautiful head, Xolani.”
She flinched away from his touch. “You tricked me. Just like Ricky.”
It was his turn to flinch as her words hit him. “I’m nothing like him.” He knew all about the wretched loser, Ricky and he hated to think she thought about him in those terms.
“Oh, no? You are a supreme manipulator. You used me for sex. You did this while I was sleeping!”
“Whether you were asleep or not, I asked for consent and you gave it.”
“Does this place know who you are? Wait, don’t answer that. They have to know. Unless you manipulated them too.”
“I did this because...” And then it dawned on him: this wasn’t just obsession. He wanted her. No, he needed her.
****
Xolani
How could this be happening? Not only had she been fantasizing about a demon she’d had sex with one.
“You did this because...?” She placed her hands on her hips.
Angrier than she’d ever been and highly uncomfortable for two reasons.
One he’d made a fool out of her and two he was a sex demon no less.
She would not share him in that way. Exhibitionism was one thing but sharing him with other women. Hell no.
“I care for you,” he admitted. “I wanted you for my own.”
“The only thing it seems you cared about was manipulating me into sex.”
“At first.”
She rolled her eyes.
“In the beginning, I wanted to just get you out of my system.”
“Finally, some of the truth.” She turned to the door and grabbed onto the doorknob.
“Xolani, please. Don’t do this.”
His voice stopped her before she could twist it open.
“You did this. I was in a relationship with Ricky that had been built on lies. I will not be in another one.”
“What we have isn’t built on lies.” He moved so fast that she didn’t have time to react other than gasp as he grasped her forearm.
She looked down at his hand holding on to her. She should be repulsed because of what he was. However, his touch even with her knowing his true form did nothing but excite her libido.
“Don’t,” he said.
That one word jolted her from staring at his hand on her and the electric feeling rippling between them.
Swallowing, she tried to focus on her need for him to go rather than to stay.
The burning in her chest intensified as she pulled away from him.
An unsettling feeling came over her as the realization that she was in love with him hit her.
“I have to,” she choked. “If I don’t, the lies will never end. You’ll be just like him, going from woman to woman behind my back. Eventually, you’ll put your hands on me.”
“I’d never do that!”
“How do I know that? Do I even know you? You lied to me about what and who you are? Hell you fucking played me like a damn chessboard moving me into place. Wherever you wanted me!”
“Xo—”
“I was prey. And it was so fucking easy for you to do what you wanted once I was asleep.”
“It wasn’t like that?”
“What was it like then?”
He sighed and turned away from her, raking his hand through his hair before he turned back to her. “You’re right. In the beginning I was using you and toying with you. For that, I’m sorry.”
She drew in a ragged breath, his words cutting her deeply.
“I promise you Xo, this isn’t a game anymore. I...you...you changed me. You made me want to be better, to do better. To give you the world.”
“No, get out! Now! I will not do this with you. Your lies and scheming are over.”
“You can’t deny what you feel for me,” he argued. “I can feel it.”
“The funny thing is I am not denying that you make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
“Then there is hope.”
Xolani laughed. She kept on laughing until tears were streaming down her face. “Everything that you’ve made me feel has been...pure ecstasy.” A small smile broke through the tears though a sob escaped her. “Not hope.”
“If you want me as much as I still want you, there is always hope.”
“I am a human and you’re a demon. How long before you start missing other women? How long before you turn missing them into anger? And that anger turns into you hurting me?”
“I’d never hurt you, Xolani.”
“But you already have, Dima,” she sobbed as she twisted the knob, opening the door.
He moved forward as if to leave but stopped right in front of her, placing his hand on her waist. “I don’t want other women, I want you.”
“You just think you do. Now leave.”
He ground his teeth while shifting back into human form. He was magnificent. Beautiful in both forms. He shrugged back into his shirt, slowly doing up the buttons. “You’re making a mistake.”
“No, you made the mistake, thinking I was easy.” She swiped angrily at the tears continuing to fall.
“And if we belong together?” He finished buttoning up his shirt.
She refused to answer the question, so she gave him the silent treatment. She felt his sigh as his breath wafted over her and he moved to stand right in front of her again.
“You and I both know that we belong together.” He clicked his tongue.
Now, her gaze shot up to his.
“I will do you a solid and walk away,” he went on. “But the moment you call my name, whether in a dream or awake. I will be there.”
If it had been anyone else his last words would have sounded more like a threat than a promise.
Promise or not, she couldn’t abide by what he’d done.
“Just go.” She said, turning away from him to stare into the room.
She couldn’t meet his eyes any longer. The pain was just too much.
She needed to talk to Felipe or whomever oversaw this farce.
Finally, she heard him leaving and she closed the door on him, locking it.
Xolani needed to clean up and then she’d get her answers.
She went into the bathroom off the bedroom and proceeded to take a shower and clean the toys.
She then redressed and turned as she heard a knock on the door.
Frowning, she wondered who it could be. She unlocked the door and swiftly opened it.
Felipe and an older gentleman stood there.
She moved to the side so that they could enter.
“We’re here to check you. Dima said that you asked him to leave?” Felipe asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me what he was?”
“Just as much as we guard your details,” he replied. “We do the same for those who participate in the fantasies. Everyone’s information is private.”
“So, you did know.” It wasn’t a question. His words confirmed what she’d already suspected.
“This place is built to give fantasies to all. We do not discriminate. Did he hurt you?”
“If you mean physically, no.”
“Mentally?”
“Only in the fact that I feel manipulated and lied to.”
Finally, the older gentleman spoke, “I’m Dr. Fairee, my dear. No one wanted to hurt you. I assure you that manipulation wasn’t used on anyone. We knew who you wanted and he wanted to be here.”
“I won’t be staying longer than tonight,” Xolani sniffled. “I’m sure you can understand why.”
“He won’t be coming back unless that is what you want,” Dr. Fairee said simply. “Though there is one thing you must know about him.”
“I know all I need to know about him, gentleman.” There was no way they would make her change her mind about Dima.
“He’s your mate.”
“The hell you say?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“We couldn’t let you leave here and not know the truth. Dima is your soul mate,” Dr. Fairee said. “We will leave you now.”
Felipe gave her a nod. “I’m sorry that your wish didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Consider the night on us and if you ever wish to return, you will have a free weekend.”
Dr. Fairee fixed his glasses, gave her a stiff bow and left.
Felipe turned to her. “Please don’t hesitate to come back if you need to. Dr. Fairee is available if you need counseling.” He turned as if to leave and then turned back. “If you need to stay longer than tonight, just let Dante know.” He looked at her one last time and walked away.
Xolani closed the door, settled down on the bed, and cried some more.