Chapter 47
CHAPTER 47
CLOVER
E verything hurts.
It’s a different kind of ache and only gets worse when I manage to tear open my eyes. They feel like they have been glued together and sand bags placed on them to weigh them down.
I blink several times, the whiteness of the room so brilliant around me that I need to squint, as I adjust to the light. A few moments later I’m finally able to make sense of where I am.
A hospital.
I’ve been rescued.
How?
“You’re awake,” a raspy voice has me turning to see Vaughn. His eyes are red and bloodshot. He’s speaking quietly because surrounding me in the room is the rest of the pack.
Apollo is on my right side, his arm bent on the bed by my waist with his head resting on it as he sleeps. The angle must be killing his back. His other hand is slung over McKinley, who has his head in the Alpha’s lap as he gets some sleep.
They must have dragged the love seat closer so that they could rest on it together.
They look terrible. Terrible because of me and what I’ve put them through by going missing.
Something moves at my feet and I see Griffin, wrapped up in his hoodie as he lays at my feet. He always likes to be close to me so him being on the bed isn’t a surprise. The fact he was so careful about not putting too much weight on me and keeping some space for when I woke up is appreciated.
“Let me call a nurse. They need-”
I reach out, grabbing Vaughn’s hand. Gently pulling him towards me. I need the contact to make sure this is real and not another dream. He sighs out, looking torn about everything that is happening. Both his hands cover mine as he frowns.
“Cherry girl, we were so worried.” The guilt hurts my stomach. Turning it as I blink up through tears at the Alpha beside me.
Leaning in, I nuzzle at his hands, needing some reassurance. He may be here, but I need something more from him so that I know he’s not going to leave. I can’t stand the idea of anyone leaving.
Swallowing, I feel the burn in my throat. It hurts from where Orion choked me and from the lack of having anything to drink.
How long have I been here?
“I’m sorry that I ran away. Marcus showing up confused me. Griffin tried to calm me down, but I wasn’t ready for it.” Vaughn cups my cheek, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed so that he doesn’t disturb anything..
“We’re going to talk about it all. Fix it all. We want you as our Omega, Clover. We love you. I love you.” Tears burn in my eyes, the warm feel of them making their way down my face.
Even though I messed up he still loves me. I’m still worthy of love. I didn’t ruin it.
Scooting my body backwards with wiggles and some of Vaughn’supper body strength, I manage to sit up. Griffin chases me in his sleep, nuzzling into my thighs as he settles down. My head feels a bit dizzy and sore. I don’t have that hot feeling anymore which is a relief.
My heat.
My heart gets caught in my throat and I blink at Vaughn wondering if they got to me after my heat had ended. Had I been used by Pack Weaver?
A whimper comes from my lips. My scent is already off, thanks to the injuries and unease I’ve been feeling. Now it takes a worse turn. My scent sours and turns rotten. Strong enough that Griffin groans in his sleep, shifting his body to try and get closer to me to provide comfort. Settling when he wraps his body around my leg. Apollo’s hand finds mine in his sleep and he sighs out like this has solved something.
I was used .
My heat.
I can’t even remember what happened.
“M-my h-heat.” I can’t even get the full sentence out. Vaughn seems to understand where my mind has gone and he shakes his head.
The concern on his face melting into something like pity as he follows my chain of thought.
“No, no, no, Clover love. We got to the house when there was a big storm. There was a small fight with Pack Weaver before we found you on the couch. The police had arrived with EMT’s at that point. They gave you a shot to stop your heat from starting. It doesn’t last long, but they wanted to let you heal and make a statement before it happened.”
My hands shake as relief floods me.
They came for me. Nothing happened.
“Can you help me get up and shower? I feel so gross.” He looks hesitant for a second before sliding the covers off me. Leaning in, Vaughn lifts me up gently into his arms.
Griffin frowns in his sleep and settle when Apollo’s hand goes searching and lays on his head.
“Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He takes the tubing that is attached to a mobile IV and wraps it over a hook. Once that’s all set he pulls it close to us so he can move it and me towards the small area to shower.
“You’re perfect.” My hands shake as he carries me to the bathroom, setting me down as he turns on the water for me.
I’m sure there is protocol in the hospital about what can and can not be done. Getting out of bed without a nurse knowing has to be breaking one of the rules here.
Vaughn seems happy about the temperature and turns to look at me. I know he is trying to be gentle but I need the feeling of him close to me in the shower.
“Together?” I asked and he nods, reaching behind his head to tug off his shirt.
He strips down before coming over to help me out of the hospital gown. I’m not in anything else so it’s easy enough. Just a quick pull of the ties on the sleeve my IV is attached to and then a quick tug at the one tie in the back and I’m naked in front of him.
One of his arms wraps around my middle as he guides me slowly into the water, making sure that I’m not drowning before he starts to wash me.
It’s nice to be taken care of. The methodical way he goes about it is mixed with a tender touch that makes me melt against him. What he’s doing isn’t sexual and yet I can’t help it when my perfume spikes.
The hard press of his cock makes me grind back. Apparently even with my heat suppressed by body still reacts to the Alphas.
“Ignore it, Clover. Too much has happened and we need you back to 100% before we play like this. Not that I don’t want to sink into your tight heat and claim you right now.” He nips my ear and a shiver climbs up my spine.
“You shouldn’t be out of bed!” An older nurse is standing in the doorway getting a perfect view of the bubble bum of steel Vaughn has.
Part of me is jealous she is seeing him like this and I try out a snarl that makes Vaughn chuckle. He seems to appreciate that I’m protective of him.
“We’ll be right out.” He tries to pacify her, but she’s already moving in the space with a towel.
She doesn’t seem to care that she is getting wet as she reaches into the shower for me. I’m wrapped up in a white towel that scratches at my skin from the rough texture of it..
“We could have given you a sponge bath.” She chaisties me lightly as she guides me back towards the bed. One hand holding me up and the other wheeling the IV, “All these PUPS are just lazing around.” She speaks loud enough that three heads pop up, awake and looking around.
Griffin seems confused that I’m not in the bed with him. Apollo looks shocked that I’m standing up. McKinley is already out of the sleep haze he was in and, coming to help me but the nurse shoos him away.
“Let me get you another gown. Sit down on the bed for me, hon.” She sets me down and I want to tell her that I don’t want another thin hospital gown.
A sweatshirt is wrapped around my shoulders and I smell Apollo surrounding me.
My lips twitch up in a smile at him.
“Hi cherub,” He is devastating with his sad blue eyes staring at me. His blonde hair is a mess. He must have been pulling at it constantly to soothe himself. From the state of it, he didn’t get much comfort.
My fingers can’t help themselves and smooth out some of his hair, loving when the Alpha leans into my touch like he needs it just as badly as I do.
Maybe I just need them all in my nest, surrounding me. That feels like it could fix everything.
“Can we leave?”
“No, you can not. You came in with a concussion and the doctor still needs another check before you're released. Plus the local law enforcement is in the hall waiting to speak to you whenever you wake up.” The nurse informs, coming back in the room with the dressing gown she had got.
She eyes what I’m wearing and just sets it on the bed. She must know that I need the comfort of one of the packs clothing.
Vaughn steps out from the bathroom, redressed and looking less disheveled this time around. His eyes glance over me, seeming satisfied that I’m okay for the moment.
“I’ll go find the doctor so we can get out of here. Mick, why don’t you call Apollo’s parents and let them know Clover’s awake now? Griffin, give her some breathing room.” He didn’t boss Apollo around though.
Apollo sits with me as the others go make themselves busy. I knew what they were doing. They wanted to give me a second with the pack lead. All of them must have sensed that we needed a few moments together.
My mouth feels dry and I have so much to say, but I’m not quite sure how to say any of it.
“I shouldn’t have ran.”
“I shouldn’t have given you a reason to.” He breathes me in, getting closer. Our noses bump against each other as he rubs them together.
Back and forth. Soft and gentle. Up and down.
His lips kiss mine. A gentle kiss to just let me know he’s here. Not pushing or demanding in any way. Just showing up for me.
My Alpha.
Gripping the shoulders of his shirt, I wiggle closer until he lifts me onto his lap being careful of the tube that is pumping fluids in me..
Apollo is so muscular and big. Holding me against him in a way that feels safe.
After everything that has happened the past few days the feeling of being safe feels overwhelming.
My body stiffens for a second. Apollo reads my body language. He moves my head to the crook of his neck so that I can scent him. Breathing in his spicy tea scent as I nuzzle into him for all the comfort..
“I’m going to slide my hands under the hoodie and rub your back. I’m going to press our bodies together. You just cry and feel. Try not to hurt yourself too much, cherub. You have a lot of bruising on your face, Clover. I just want you to let me hold you so you feel safe.” His voice is in a soft, even tone.
It’s so calming hearing Apollo speak. Hearing him tell me what he is going to do helps calm me down.
A sniffle comes out and then the hot tears pour out of me. Thick and hot, they slip out without me able to stop them. My chest and stomach hurt as I give in to the way I’m feeling and go through all the emotions.
Pack Weaver had kidnapped me. They had taken me against my will. Chased me down and stole me in a moment that I had just tried to get a second for myself.
Just a second .
It was greedy to run. I was so overwhelmed by all the things that were happening. I had been given some freedom and took it.
Maybe Grammy had been right. Freedom was a noose.
I had run right into it and hung myself with the rope given to me..
“I have you. You’re doing such a good job letting it. I have you, Clover. Don’t worry about anything. I have you.” He reassures me.
The large palm on his hand rubs against my back in soothing circles. Calming me down as I just let it all out. Making a mess of Apollo as I take comfort in his safe space.
Why had I ever run from this?
“Don’t even think about anything right now. Right now you’re just going to let yourself feel everything. You’re going to just breathe in your Alpha and know you’re safe.”
He should be playing a game. They should be-
“Cherub, it’s okay.” He tries to calm me again.
It’s not okay.
Nothing is okay.
How can he ever pretend that this is all okay?
Pulling back I go to tell Apollo that, but the way he is looking at me stops me from speaking.
He doesn’t look angry or upset with how I am handling everything. Instead, he looks at me like he loves me. He looks at me like it’s just me in this world and it’s overwhelming.
“I have you, Clover. Do you see that? I have you and I’m never going to let anything happen to you again. It’s terrifying and scary and awful what happened. We’ll make sure that we have plans in place so it never something we go through in the future. We need to talk as a pack. As long as that’s what you still want.” He swallows like he is afraid that is something I might not want..
My eyes track his Adam’s apple. The way it bobs as he tries to get out his next words. The way it warbles slightly when he takes in a deep breath trying to get himself to let out the next words.
“Do you still want us to be a pack, Clover?”
Apollo’s scared .
I realize it and don’t know how to react. How could he ask me that?
“I let you down. I failed you as an Alpha. I made you feel like-”
Beans and biscuits.
He thinks that he let me down. That this is his fault.
No .
“I love you, Apollo. I love the pack. Of course I want you but-”
He doesn’t let me get anything else out. His lips press to mine again. Kissing me deeply as I whimper against his lips. It’s slightly painful because of the bruising and cuts on my face. Yet it’s right. It’s everything that I need.
This right here is the first real right thing that I’ve taken control of.
And I love it.