Chapter Four
Ashley
My heart was beating a mile a minute when I pulled up to the guard gate at Miramar, and worst-case scenarios popped in my head along with a mental note to work out more, so I didn’t drop dead from a heart attack.
Like I said, worst-case scenarios.
Along with the heart attack was, what if I’d come all this way and Ryan forgot to add my name to the list? Or worse, because I’d sounded like such a loser on the phone yesterday, he purposefully didn’t add it.
I handed the man my driver’s license and held my breath. He quickly skimmed the sheet of paper on his clipboard, then looked at me with a smile as he returned my identification.
“You’re here for Alpha Company’s arrival.”
My mouth felt like the Sahara, and I gulped a drink from my water bottle before nodding. “I am.” Even though I had no idea if that was who Sloane was arriving with.
“Congratulations. I’m sure it’ll be nice to spend an early Thanksgiving with your Marine.”
My Marine.
My hand shook slightly as I raised the water bottle to my lips again. After quickly swallowing, I replied, “Thanks. It will be.”
The guy didn’t need to know we probably weren’t going to be spending any time together after today. Cue the next round of doomsday scenarios in my head.
He gave me a map of the camp, then gave me directions to the hangar where the Marines would be meeting family and friends.
I hoped Ryan had already arrived. I’d done another search on Sloane’s Instagram last night and found “Ryan Kennedy” in a lot of the photos, so I assumed that was who I would be looking for today. Although, seeing the pictures of all the beautiful people had only made me feel more ill at ease.
I cringed when I felt the sweat drip between my cleavage and the fabric of my dress cling to my underarms.
Oh god, did I put deodorant on?
I turned the air conditioning on high, held my elbows out at ninety-degrees, and let the air from the car vents blast onto my armpits as I drove in search of the parking lot where the Marine at the guard gate had told me to park.
Slowly pulling into what I thought was the lot highlighted on my map, I noticed people dressed in civilian clothes, carrying balloons, flowers, and signs, so I felt confident I was in the right place.
Not shutting the car off, I continued to let the cold air blow on me as I took deep breaths and watched a woman pushing a stroller with a “Welcome Home Daddy” sign taped to the front.
This is for family and close friends.
A feeling of panic overtook me.
I don’t belong here.
What am I doing? This is a mistake.
I almost put the car in reverse but then chastised myself for even thinking about it.
If nothing else, Sloane was my friend, and I told him I’d be here. Granted, that was supposed to be around the twenty-seventh, but I was a woman who kept my word, even though I knew he was going to take one look at me and try to figure out how to let me down easy.
My best defense was a good offense. I’d greet him with a handshake and a smile so the friend zone would be established upfront. I’d be sure to convey I didn’t have any expectations, that way he wouldn’t feel bad about not spending any more time with me during his brief time home.
We’d have a pleasant interaction—I had no doubt he’d at least be polite after meeting me. Then I’d be gracious and understanding when he’d have to work the entire time, so he was unavailable, and we’d go back to being pen pals.
No harm, no foul.
I shut the car off and reached for the platter of cupcakes sitting on the passenger seat of my Toyota Camry before getting out of the car. Glancing down at the red, white, and blue frosting through the plastic cover, I groaned internally.
God, are these stupid?
Baking helped soothe my anxiety, so I’d gotten to work last night. I’d seen a Pinterest post and thought the patriotic-themed cupcakes had been a cute idea, so I made a batch. Now I was second-guessing the decision to bring them, along with every other choice I’d made about attending today.
I’m just welcoming a friend home , I reminded myself as I shut the car door with my hip. I’ll thank him for his service and be on my way.
Following the crowd to a big hangar on the airstrip, I found everyone in attendance to be all-smiles. There were signs and balloons welcoming loved ones home. Some women, especially the younger ones, were in tight dresses and heels. Their hair and makeup perfect as they waited for their men to come home to them.
I glanced down at my tan and turquoise paisley tunic dress and hoped it didn’t look like I was trying too hard. The wide brown leather belt emphasized my slender waist, while the surplice neck subtly showcased my C-cup breasts. The matching brown leather knee-high boots made me feel like a boss-bitch, which was part of the reason I’d chosen them. I needed all the help I could get in the confidence department.
I’d used a round brush on my long, thick, brown hair when I dried it that morning, so it was smooth as it hung loose around my shoulders. My blonde highlights were still fresh after a salon visit last week.
I’d almost put on the foundation that covered my birthmark, but for the same reasons I’d sent Sloane a candid picture without the concealer, I’d opted against it.
Catching a glimpse of my cleavage under the dress, I thought, at least I have amazing boobs.
I might have a butterface, but I had to admit, I had a nice, athletic body.
Looking around the steel building and cement floors, I noticed a golden retriever sitting regally among a group of people around my age. The pup looked like he was fresh from the groomer, and he was beautiful. He must have felt the excitement in the air because it looked like he was smiling along with everyone else while his tail wagged a slow, steady rhythm.
Is that Tank?
Knowing how much Sloane loved his dog, it would make sense that they bring him.
I immediately recognized the man holding Tank’s leash from the light internet stalking I’d done of people who’d been tagged in Sloane’s photos.
From what I could gather, Ryan was a firefighter and had been in more than one of their charity calendars. When I’d been doing my internet sleuthing and saw the pictures of him oiled up, holding an axe and a puppy, I’d grumbled, “Pfft, probably photoshopped.”
Nope, not photoshopped.
The man was as good-looking in person as he was in the pictures. That didn’t bode well for my hope that the Marine I was waiting to meet wasn’t really as gorgeous in real life, and that his photos had been altered with a filter.
I had also seen the handsome, broad-chested man standing on the other side of Ryan on Sloane’s social media. Craig Baxter. I had gotten the impression from something in the pictures that he was a cop. Seeing him in-person with his aviator sunglasses and ramrod-straight posture, I’d bet money on it. The beautiful woman he had his arm around was Maddie Monroe.
The tall blonde woman next to Maddie was Grace Ericson. When I’d been looking at the photos on Sloane’s Instagram, I’d recognized her immediately from the San Diego gossip pages and had wondered where she fit in Sloane’s social circle. The way she quickly looked away when she caught Ryan watching her told me there was more to that story.
There were a few other men and women with them. One woman with long, light-brown hair stood out. I remembered seeing her cozied up against Sloane’s side in pictures from what had looked like a pool party. I remembered because Sloane hadn’t had a shirt on in most of the photos, so I may have studied them for a while.
Was she Sloane’s girlfriend?
It would make sense; she was as gorgeous as Sloane. They’d make the perfect couple.
See? It wasn’t stalking. It was research so I’d be prepared for today.
For what felt like the hundredth time since I pulled onto the base, I asked myself, what am I doing here ?
Welcoming home a friend. I promised my pen pal I’d be here, that’s all.
As I tentatively approached, I held the platter of cupcakes in front of me like a shield. Ryan cocked his head, as if he wondered who I was and what I wanted, then a look of realization spread across his face, and he took a step toward me with a smile and outstretched hand.
“You must be Ashley!”
I adjusted my hold on the platter and shifted my purse so I could offer my hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”
Grace stepped forward and said, “Here, let me take that!” She glanced at the cupcakes. “Oh my god, these are adorable! Mads, come look at these!”
The other woman came over, “Oh wow! Can I try one?”
“Yes, of course, I made them for everyone.”
The rest eyed me with curiosity while Maddie removed the liner from the bottom of the cupcake, then looked at me before taking a bite and asked what everyone was probably wondering. “How do you know Sloane?”
My laugh sounded nervous as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Oh, I’m just his pen pal.”
The look on their faces as they continued to study me suggested they weren’t sure if they believed my explanation.
Maddie let out a long moan, and with her mouth full exclaimed, “These are so good. Babe, you gotta try one.”
Craig moved to stand next to her and plucked one from the tray. More people stepped forward to grab a cupcake, but I got the impression it was more so they could get a closer look at me.
“Save some for Sloane!” Grace admonished.
Fortunately, the scrutiny didn’t last long when a military transport plane touched down on the runway and a loud cheer erupted from the crowd, echoing off the metal walls and concrete floor.
Uniformed personnel appeared and put-up stanchions, connecting them with retractable belts to keep the guests back as the aircraft taxied toward the hangar.
Once the jet came to a stop, two large portable staircases were moved into place at the front and rear of the plane.
Electricity seemed to fill the air as the crowd moved closer to the ropes, waiting for the doors to open. People bounced on their toes and craned their necks to get a better view of the plane. It felt like everyone collectively held their breaths as the doors began to move.
Another cheer went up when the first man in uniform appeared, soon followed by squeals and claps when people began to recognize their Marine.
As the men reached the barrier, there were tears, hugs, and kisses, then they’d quickly move out of the way to make room for the men coming behind them. I was surprised, but glad to see three women in uniform walk down the airplane’s steps.
Marine after Marine entered the hangar, but none of them were Sloane. So many people had disembarked that I began to wonder if maybe he wasn’t on the plane, after all.
“He’s always one of the last off the plane,” Ryan explained to the restless group waiting to greet Sloane.
The number of families at the front dwindled until there were only three or four.
That’s when I saw him appear in the plane’s doorway, holding his duffel bag over his shoulder, and my heart skipped a beat.
He was dressed in fatigues, same as every other Marine who’d gotten off the plane, but the sight of him took my breath away. His chest was broad under the tan t-shirt, and a hint of the tattoo on his muscular arm peaked out under the fabric.
But it was his swagger as he walked toward us that made my knees go weak. There was no question he was confident and in-charge.
When he was about thirty yards away, Tank must have recognized his owner, because he barked excitedly while his tail wagged furiously. The pup danced in place and let out a long, high-pitched whine while he anxiously waited for the man to cover the remaining distance.
I know the feeling, buddy.
Once Sloane crossed the barrier, Ryan released his hold on Tank’s leash, and the dog made a mad sprint toward Sloane, who’d dropped his bag and knelt to greet his fur-baby.
I understood how Tank got his name when he barreled into his owner at full speed and almost knocked him on his butt.
Sloane’s expression was one of pure joy as Tank jumped all over him, yelping and kissing him in the process. The rest of his friends ventured closer, and with one hand still on his dog, Sloane stood to accept Ryan’s embrace.
“Thanks for taking care of him,” I heard Sloane murmur as his friend gave him the two back slaps that always seemed to accompany any man hug I’d ever witnessed.
“Any time, man.”
I stood at the back as his welcoming committee formed a makeshift line to greet him, but instead of hugging Maddie, who seemed to be next, Sloane lifted his head and surveyed the crowd until his eyes met mine. A slow smile spread across his face, and my stomach dipped when he bypassed the friends waiting to welcome him home and stalked directly to where I waited on the fringe—my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
Once he was in front of me, he didn’t say anything, just studied my face.
“Hi,” I murmured awkwardly as I brushed my hair behind my ear, wishing I’d worn the foundation after all as I squirmed under his stare. His blue eyes looked like the sea after a storm, and I found it impossible to look away.
I was about to offer my hand like I’d planned, but he reached up and cupped my face in his palms as he held my gaze, then still without a word, lowered his mouth to mine for a soul-stealing kiss.
His lips were warm and soft, and he tasted like cinnamon gum as he pulled my upper lip between his, then switched to gently suck on my bottom one.
Just when I thought he was going to release me, he angled his face as his tongue swept along the seam of my mouth, as if asking permission to enter. Permission I readily granted.
My arms wove around his neck and his hands moved from my face to slide into my hair. His hold on my tresses locked me in place as his tongue tangled with mine.
“Just a pen pal, my ass,” I heard someone say loudly. Sloane must have heard it, too, because he pulled back with a laugh.
“Hi,” he finally murmured, the dimple in his cheek on full display as he smiled down at me. His right thumb gently stroked my jawline.
I felt drunk as I smiled back and repeated, “Hi.”
“I’m so glad you came.”
Suddenly, it felt like there was nowhere I’d rather be.
“Me too,” I whispered breathlessly.
Reluctantly, I released my hands from his neck. The scent of his soap and aftershave filled my senses, and I wanted to burrow into his side to be surrounded by his warmth.
It seemed like he felt the same because when his hands slid from my hair, he quickly banded an arm around my waist. Pulling me tight against him, he turned to face his friends.
“I’m assuming you’ve met everyone?” he murmured in my ear.
“Not everyone.”
“Come on,” he replied as he ushered me forward. “Let me introduce you.”
****
Sloane
I couldn’t believe after all the time of dreaming about her, Ashley was actually there—in the flesh. She fucking smelled even better than her letters, and I wanted to bury my nose in her neck. But I settled for my arm around her tiny waist. I had no intention of letting her go anytime soon.
We circulated among all the friends who’d come out to welcome me back. I was humbled by the turnout—especially on such short notice—and proud to be able to introduce Ashley to everyone.
One person I was surprised to see though was Nicole.
We’d hooked up a few times before I left on my current tour, but that’s all it had been—a hookup. We’d had a good time, a few orgasms, but the earth hadn’t moved, for either of us. She hadn’t even written to me once, and I hadn’t expected her to.
So, I didn’t understand her salty attitude when I greeted her and the others she was talking with. She glared at me when I made introductions, as if my holding Ashley’s hand was somehow an affront to her.
Maybe she thought we were going to pick up where we left off. Or the more likely scenario was she was horny, and my being in town for the weekend would have been an opportunity to scratch that itch. But even if I hadn’t had my sights set on Ashley, I wouldn’t have been interested in Nicole. At least, not in a hand-holding, take her to dinner, spend the entire time I was here with her kind of way. I suspected the only reason she was mad was because I wanted that with Ashley, not her. She seemed like the kind of chick who only wanted what she couldn’t have.
I didn’t give a shit what Nicole’s problem was and steered my pen pal/hope-to-be girlfriend back to my core group of friends and my dog.
Tank nudged his nose against my free hand, and I reached down to run my fingers along the pup’s head, maintaining physical contact with my dog and my girl as I caught up with my friends’ lives.
The place was clearing out, so Ryan asked, “You still planning on crashing at my place?”
Truth be told, I was hoping to spend my nights in Ashley’s bed, but that would be presumptuous, considering we’d just met for the first time in person twenty minutes ago. So, I replied, “If you don’t mind.”
“Hell no, I don’t mind—that’s what I’ve been planning on. You’re always welcome, you know that.”
At least if I didn’t end up in Ashley’s bed, my dog would keep me company at night. Tank’s soft fur made him an excellent sleeping companion—except when he snored or farted.
Craig picked up my duffel bag then squeezed my shoulder. “Welcome home, man. Wish you were going to be here longer.”
I couldn’t help but steal a glance at the woman next to me. “Me, too.”
“What do you want to do first?”
Make out with my girl.
Subtly squeezing Ashley’s hand, I hoped to nonverbally communicate just that. But I replied, “Go to In-n-Out. I need a Double-Double combo stat.”
That made Craig laugh out loud. “Lead the way,” then he called out to the rest of the crowd, “We’re going to In-n-Out.”
Most everyone expressed their inability to go to the fast-food spot, and stopped to hug me again, welcome me back, and suggest we get together before I leave.
“We’re having a party at O’Malley’s on Friday,” Ryan interjected, then glanced at me with a big grin. “Like old times.”
I had no doubt the crowd at the bar on Friday was going to be even bigger than the one today. I knew I was a lucky son of a bitch. I was home safe, my friends were amazing, and I had one hand entwined with my dream girl’s while I scratched my dog’s ears with the other.
“Sloane, you’ve gotta try one of Ashley’s cupcakes. They’re so good,” Maddie said as she handed Ashley her tray.
She made fucking cupcakes. She couldn’t be any sweeter if she tried.
I glanced over at Ashley as I lifted the clear cover to reveal a few festive red, white, and blue frosted cupcakes. Judging by the smeared frosting and crumbs, the plate had once held a lot more.
“You made these?”
She shrugged like she was embarrassed. “I saw them on Pinterest and thought they were a cute idea to welcome you home.”
Plucking one from the dish, I examined it while I peeled back the paper.
“They look good.”
Taking a big bite, I got a dollop of frosting on my nose in the process. The sugary goodness exploded in my mouth. There was no way I could eat just one of them. Laughing as I wiped the frosting off my face while I swallowed, I said, “They taste even better.”
I finished the rest of the cupcake in two bites and grabbed another, finishing it before we left the hangar, and I took Tank’s leash from Ryan, wrapping it around my wrist while I held used cupcake liners in my hand.
I let out a contented sigh as I reached for Ashley’s free hand again.
“Those were really good. You know the only time I’ve had anything sweet in the last four months is if you sent it to me? You have no idea how much I look forward to your packages.”
“I’m glad you enjoy them. It’s why I send them.”
She giggled when I added, “And my men appreciate that you send extra.”
Ashley gestured to the trash can, and I tossed the liners in.
“I’m surprised you share.”
“Believe me, I don’t always want to. But sweets don’t last long in one hundred-and fifteen-degree heat before they go bad, so I’d rather they’re enjoyed than wasted.”
“Well, it makes me happy to know someone is eating them.”
You know what would make me happy? Eating your pussy.
I scolded myself the minute the thought popped in my head.
Jesus, I’m a dog.
But I had no doubt she’d taste sweeter than any cupcake as she came on my tongue.
As we approached the parking lot, I turned to Ashley. “Is it okay if I ride with you?”
“Of course. Just let me rearrange some things in the back so Tank has room.”
Once again, she was showing how thoughtful she was—not hesitating to make room for my hairy dog.
Turning to Ryan, I asked, “Do you mind taking Tank and we can meet you there?”
“No problem. I’ve already got a blanket down in the backseat for him.”
I handed Tank’s leash to Ryan. “Thanks, man. For everything.”
I hoped my look properly conveyed my gratitude.
It must have worked because Ryan looked at me with a smirk. “I love you, too, man,” then tipped his head. “See you in a bit.”
Turning back to Ashley, she pointed to a white Camry, then passed me her keys with a smile. “You can drive.”
“Are you sure? I can’t remember when I drove something other than a JLTV or Humvee.”
We reached the passenger door, and I clicked the unlock button on her fob before opening her door.
“I trust you,” she said with a sly smile before sliding into the seat.
It was a silly, off-hand remark, but my chest swelled as I went around to open the driver’s door.
You can trust me, baby. I won’t let you down.
After starting the car, I was immediately met with a blast of air to the face. She quickly reached over and turned the air down. “Oops, sorry about that.”
As I adjusted my seat and mirrors, Ashley continued, “Besides, this way I can stare at you while you have to keep your eyes on the road.”
“Aw, that’s why I wanted you to drive.”
“And that’s exactly why I’m not.”
It felt like she was putting herself down, and I didn’t care for that one bit.
I let go of the seat belt I’d been about to fasten and turned to face her head on.
“Well, I’ll be making up for it once we stop. You’re fucking beautiful. I’ve carried your picture with me everywhere I go, and I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes off you now that you’re right in front of me.”
She glanced down at her hands in her lap. “You don’t have to say that.”
I tilted her chin, so she had no choice but to look at me when I growled, “I’m sorry, maybe you didn’t understand what I said. You. Are. Fucking. Beautiful.”
To punctuate the point I was making, I leaned across the console and captured her lips with mine for a slow, tender kiss. A soft sigh escaped her when I pulled away and reiterated, “So beautiful.” Resting my forehead against hers, I whispered, “I can’t believe I’m actually kissing you.”
She let out a low hum that I wasn’t sure how to interpret, and a horrible thought occurred to me.
“Oh god, I’m not out of line for kissing you, am I?”
Her eyes got big, and she shook her head vigorously.
“What? No! No, no, no! I’m glad you did. I wasn’t sure if we were just going to be friends, or what.” A slow grin spread across her face. “You kind of cleared that up right off the bat.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself once I saw you.” I pulled the seatbelt across my chest then put the car in drive. “And, baby girl, I want to be so much more than friends.”
She slid her fingers between mine and pecked my cheek. “I want that, too.”
I felt my chest puff up again as I pulled onto the road.
I want to be your everything.
I gave myself an internal shake.
Whoa, too soon, man. Too soon.
But I’d been thinking it since I started baring my soul in my letters to her, and the thought only entrenched itself with every letter we exchanged. As I glanced over at her smiling shyly at me from the passenger seat, I knew I wasn’t going to take it back.
****
Ashley
It was obvious Sloane was well-loved. His friends had shown up in force, and other than the woman who’d been draped all over him in his Instagram photos from the summer, they’d all been kind and welcoming.
Noticeably missing from the crowd were any members of his family—although I already knew why. He’d told me in his letters that he hadn’t spoken to his mom or stepdad since he’d enlisted, and since his siblings were younger, by default he hadn’t spoken to them either.
He said they were college-age now, and he’d expressed a desire to reconnect with them, he just didn’t know where to start.
“Maybe when I get back from this tour,” he’d written when I asked about looking them up. “But even if I do find them, I’m just not sure how well-received I’d be. I’m certain my mom and stepdad probably poisoned their view of me since they were so young when I left.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“Yeah, we’ll see what happens when I get back.”
As I looked around at the occupied seats on the patio of the fast-food place where we’d come for lunch, he obviously had family who weren’t blood related. These people clearly loved him.
I reflected on our letters and how we’d gotten to know each other through the written word before we even knew what the other looked like, and I realized I might be one of the people who loved him.
I’d see how our time together in person went. Maybe I’d interpreted what I’d wanted to in his letters, made him out to be someone he really wasn’t.
But when butterflies took flight in my tummy when he looked over and winked at me, I didn’t think that was the case.
Then there was that kiss.
Holy hell.
No one had ever kissed me like that.
But shit. What if he’d read what he wanted to in my letters, and he ended up disappointed when he got to know me in real life? Then what?
And I still wasn’t convinced my birthmark wasn’t an issue, although the way he’d looked at me, it sure seemed like it wasn’t.
No more Chicken Little crap. I was just going to enjoy the time I spent with him this week and let the chips fall where they may when he went back overseas.
Maybe we’d go back to writing each other every day, or maybe he’d suddenly become too busy to be able to write me back.
I wanted to pretend I’d be good either way, but when he ran his fingers up and down my back as we talked to his friends, I wasn’t so sure I’d be okay if he decided it was the latter.