Chapter 6
“ I s it me or has Knox been a bit off?” I asked Scott as we made our way down the beach path. We’d decided to take a stroll along the shoreline before calling it a night. The wind whipped at my hair, but I no longer cared. The night was over, and I’d had so much fun, my intricate updo was finally giving in and falling out of the strategically placed pins.
“Oh, shit. I’ve been meaning to tell you.” He remembered as he guided us onto the sand.
I shivered and Scott shrugged off his jacket, draping it over my shoulders. I passed him my strappy sandals to hold so I could pull the cotton-silk-blend corduroy tighter.
“Thank you.” I was never going to be strong enough to say no to wrapping Scott’s scent and warmth around me. I looked up into the dark blue sky, acting as though I was breathing in the night air instead of inhaling the usual citrus with something else a little heavier I’d caught whiffs of all day, his cologne.
I commended myself for holding in the mmm I wanted to sigh.
“So, you’ve been so busy all day there wasn’t a right time to get into it, but you know the club we went to last night?”
I nodded. I’d heard the boys talking about the place they’d hired out.
“Wren was one of the dancers.”
My gaze shot to his. “Wren Lindley?”
He nodded.
“Wren Lindley, breaker of teen-boy hearts?”
“The one and only,” he said with a small shake of his head.
“Holy shit . . .”
“Yeah, holy shit. It wasn’t good, Jenna.”
My heart sank. “No, I bet it wasn’t. What’s the general consensus?”
His brow furrowed and I couldn’t hide the lift of my lips. “Don’t play like you Maddens haven’t been planning a move.”
His jaw worked. “We want to try and find her before we leave. Something isn’t sitting right.”
“You should, you have to,” I agreed. “Your gut has never steered you wrong.”
He nodded again. “You wanna come?”
Gah, of course, I wanted to know what had become of my old friend. I just didn’t feel like this was my place to interfere.
“Yes and no. I’d love to see her, see how she’s doing, but I feel like it needs to be one of your brothers.”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “Enough about them. Have you had a good time?”
I huddled further into his jacket. “The best time with you. I literally could not be happier for Casey and Anna. I don’t mean this to sound like I think people who get married should have kids right away, if ever, but I get a nesting vibe from them, don’t you? Like the sooner they get cracking on building a family the better, in their eyes.”
“I think you’re right about that. Anna’s suffered so much loss and my brother was born to be a dad, so I’d say yeah, I bet they’ll be trying.”
“Imagine if, as we talk right now, a baby is being made. Your little niece or nephew! How exciting.”
“Fuck. Can you not? Why would I want to think about my brother doing it with his new wife?”
I giggled. “I’m just saying.”
“Well, don’t.” He pulled me into his side and tickled my neck.
I squirmed and he chuckled but held on tight.
“How many kids do you think you’ll have, Scott?”
He stopped dead in his tracks and the motion jolted me back. I looked up at him, but what I saw swimming in his gaze worried me.
He audibly gulped and shook his head, the movement seeming like it pained him.
“I don’t . . .” he whispered. “I don’t think I will.”
“You . . . you don’t want children? I mean that’s totally your choice, but . . . why?” The last word was a whisper.
I just couldn’t fathom the boy I’d known and the man he’d turned into not wanting kids. It was like it wouldn’t compute.
“All I mean is maybe . . . maybe that’s not where my life is headed. I-I just dunno.”
Icy cold had started to weave its way through my veins. It felt like there was something I’d been missing about my best friend. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.
He didn’t want to get married. He didn’t think he wanted children. And I didn’t want to keep pushing.
You didn’t have to fit into society’s version of what your life should look like, but I knew for a fact he hadn’t always felt that way.
What had changed? And why did he look so miserable about it all?
He kissed my hair and started walking again. I moved with him, my toes sinking into the cool sand.
Scott was holding our shoes in one hand and his other was still looped around me.
“Will you stargaze with me?” he asked.
And I was shocked for a whole other reason.
“Even though it’s no use, I always try to search for them. Be nice to just take them in for a little while.”
I nodded. “I can’t think of a better ending to this perfect night.”
He stared at me but then looked away and pointed to a spot further back where the sand was dry. The lights from the hotel were dimmed and let off just a soft enough glow that you could see where you were walking but not enough to diminish the spectacle from above. And Scott was right. We weren’t getting clear nights like this back in New York very often.
We sat huddled close together in a peaceful, comfortable quiet that we sometimes shared.
“You look really pretty tonight; did I already tell you that?”
“You muttered that my dress was nice when I asked you what you thought, but thank you for saying it now.”
He nodded.
“I love seeing you in suits,” I told him. And I did. He looked gorgeous today. The midnight blue made his eyes shine even brighter than normal.
“They’re okay for a special occasion, but I don’t think I could go to work in one every day.”
“You prefer your turnouts to tailored fabric, I’d never have guessed.”
“You’re so sassy sometimes.” His arm squeezed tighter, wrapping me in a kind of headlock.
I giggled, trying to untangle myself. “I’m just pulling your chain.”
I laid my head on his shoulder, watching the shallow waves break on the shore.
“Thank you,” I told him, still watching the water in the moonlight.
“For what?” he asked, dipping his head down to kiss my hair again.
“Bringing me here. Getting me out of the bakery. I needed this. The fun, the relaxation.”
“You needed a reset. I was starting to worry you were going to burn out.”
“I’m not there yet. I promise. I love what I’m doing. And I couldn’t love the bakery any more than I already do.”
“I know that. You put your soul into everything you do. I love that about you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You’ve always been like that. Little league, bake sales, your institute applications. And then the way you brought Cupcake to life. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.”
“Scott, you helped me every step of the way. You knew what I wanted and what I needed before I’d even come up with it.”
“It was nothing compared to what you did. I’m so proud of you.”
Tears stung my eyes. “Really?”
“Jenna, I’m always so in awe of you.”
I turned so I could face him. There was nothing but earnest sincerity shining in his eyes.
The air seemed charged, like the ground was shifting under me.
“Scott,” I whispered.
He brought his hand up to cup my jaw, dipped his head, and stopped breathing.
I gasped and he blinked, kissing me on the cheek and then tipping his head up to the star-speckled sky.
“Come on then, teach me everything you know.”
What the hell just happened? I just sat there stunned, looking at the v of skin his open collar framed.
“I got the Big Dipper, Orion’s belt, and the North Star. That’s as far as my astronomy goes. You got any more?”
“Cassiopeia,” I mumbled, shaking my head and turning around to face the open sky again.
“Huh?”
I searched for a second and found her.
“See the sideways W?”
“The letter?”
“That’s right.”
I traced it with my finger. “Five points. She’s sitting on her throne, combing her hair. But she’s upside down.”
“Oh yeah,” he said, staring up at it. “Who was she?”
“A super braggy queen in Greek Mythology. Cassiopeia declared herself more beautiful than this tribe of sea nymphs. Lots went down but ultimately she and her king were turned to stone, and then Poseidon condemned her to circle the celestial pole forever, spending half the year upside down in the sky as punishment for her vanity. The king’s name was Cepheus, but I can never find him, even though they’re together.”
“So clever.”
I felt my cheeks heat when Scott looked down at me.
“Why are you blushing like that?”
“It’s nothin’.” I turned my head so he couldn’t see my face.
“Jenna, what are you not telling me?”
“You said I was smart.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“Well let’s just say my limited knowledge of constellations didn’t come from innocent fascination.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Tell me then . . .”
“Fine, but you can’t laugh.”
“I won’t. Tell me!”
“I had an enormous crush on Mr. Salter.”
Scott snorted out a laugh and started cackling. “Oh, oh my God. He wore elbow patches and rode a moped,” he said and fell back onto the sand laughing.
“Stop that! Eleven-year-old Jenna thought he was a dish!”
“That’s why you joined Astro All-Stars?”
I hung my head in my hands and nodded.
“Yes,” I whined, and he just laughed his butt off all the more.