Eighty-Two
Shiloh brought the kids to California for five days. Cary worried that he didn’t have beds for them. He bought two air mattresses.
He made sure he had whole milk and bread and other things he’d seen in Shiloh’s refrigerator. Strawberry jam. Grapes.
He bought sand toys and beach towels.
He worried that his apartment felt less personal than a hotel room—and far less welcoming.
The kids were tired when they got there. It had been their first time on a plane.
Juniper was unusually shy, clinging to Shiloh. “Mommy,” she said, raising the middle of her eyebrows, “is this where we’ll live when you get married?”
“No, sweetie, you know this already—Cary is going to live with us in Omaha when he’s not at work.”
“Where are we supposed to sleep ?” Junie fretted.
That was the first night that Cary slept with Shiloh under the same roof as her kids. He didn’t sleep well. She kept getting
up to check on them.
The next day was better. Juniper saw that Cary had framed one of her drawings—the first one. And Gus was reassured by the
Disney Channel.
Cary took them to the beach and the zoo.
Shiloh had never been to Disneyland, which meant the kids had never been to Disneyland, which meant Cary got to take them
all for the first time. He felt like a king on earth.
Because of the way the rides worked, it was always Cary in one car with one kid, and Shiloh in another car with the other.
Or sometimes—Shiloh and both kids in a car, and Cary by himself.
They spent the whole day in separate elephants and pirate ships.
“I’m sorry,” Shiloh said, between lines and rides. While they were all eating popcorn and waiting for a parade. She was smiling
sadly at him.
“Why?”
“I know it’s not fair to you, to spend so much of your life taking care of someone else’s kids.”
Cary licked his bottom lip. His eyes were very narrow. “I need you to stop calling them that, with me, even though it’s true.”
“Sorry.” Shiloh slipped her hand backward into one of his hip pockets. It was a new habit.
“I’m so happy right now,” Cary said. It came out serious. Solemn. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t believe him.
Shiloh looked in his eyes. “Really?”
He nodded. “Don’t begrudge me this life.”