Chapter 6 #2
“That’s totally fair. I also made some notes.
” He pulls a small notebook and pen out of his back pocket and sets it on the table.
It’s fascinating how quickly the embarrassment dissipates and turns into relief.
I don’t really know anything about Patrick, but seeing that he’s taking this as seriously as I am makes me feel safe.
My eyes move down to the notebook and back up to him.
“You’re old fashioned. I like that.” Without even realizing it, I find myself slipping into my natural sarcasm that I normally save for my close friends.
“Mocking a man? In his own home? You are vicious, Ellie.” Patrick gasps, holding his hand over his heart and making some over exaggerated dying sounds.
His theatrics cause me to chuckle, and I have to fight through my laughter at an attempt to be apologetic. “Oh Patrick, who knew you were so fragile? I’m so sorry. ”
He stifles his response with laughter too. “It is fine… I will live.”
I hate how pleased I am with myself when Patrick reacts this way. His laugh is utterly addictive, and it is difficult to not continue the joke.
It takes a couple seconds for me to catch my breath, but the air feels lighter now. I look down at my notes and get myself centered again. “Should we get down to business?”
“Okay, first things first. Who is going to know about our fake relationship?” Patrick grabs his pen, readying himself to take notes. “I’m honestly worried if too many people know, then it might be harder to prevent a slip up, but I want to know what you think.”
“I’m fine with keeping this a secret from everyone except for Nick.”
He gives me a questioning look. “Barista Nick?”
Meeting his gaze, I nod in response. “Yes, barista Nick. He is my best friend and roommate, so I think it would be extremely difficult for me to lie to him and tell him we’ve been dating for a couple months.
Also, there's the fact that we live together and tell each other everything, so I don’t think he would believe that he’s never heard about you and you’ve never been over to our place. ”
“Okay. No one knows, but Nick.” He scribbles in his notebook, and I almost don’t notice the amused look on his face. “We’ve been dating for a couple months?”
“Um, yeah, I’m pretty sure that is what I told Greg when I blurted out that you were my boyfriend.”
“Got it.” He makes another note and then looks up at me. “What’s next?”
The note that I don’t want to say out loud stares back at me.
It’s nothing I should be worried about, but I am anyway.
When I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, I get the sudden realization that none of these feelings matter since we are not actually dating.
“Um, I don't know about your current relationship status, but if you want to see other people while we’re ‘fake dating’, that’s fine with me.
I mean, you can do whatever you want since I’m not like in charge of you or whatever.
But if you do, you should be discreet about it. ”
“I’m not going to see other people.” The way Patrick responds surprises me. It’s quick and firm, but he must have already thought about it, which is why he was so sure about it.
“Oh, okay.” I feel flustered in my response, and there’s an awkward lull in conversation since I don’t really know what else to say.
Noticing my reaction, he stumbles over his own words to try to fill the gaps.
“Uh, it’s just that I’m not really seeing anyone anyways, so I doubt I’m going to.
But it’s okay if you want to see other people if that’s why you brought it up.
I was the one who asked you to do this, so you should be able to do what you want. ”
“Oh, yeah, I wasn’t planning on it. Seeing other people I mean. I don’t really date. Well, I haven’t dated anyone in a long time.” Fuck, I need to figure out how to stop rambling in front of Patrick.
“Okay, cool.” When I look up, his shoulders relax. I didn’t even realize that he was tense before, but his body languages changes dramatically now that we’re done discussing our relationship status.
Tucking a fallen strand of hair behind my ear, I watch as Patrick write notes in the margins of his notebook. His pen rests on the next item, and he seems to hesitate slightly before speaking.
“Uh, what do you think about PDA? I’m perfectly fine if you aren’t okay with it, but I want to make sure we’re on the same page.” His voice is soft when he brings up the subject like he is worried that I’m going to feel embarrassed talking about holding hands.
“Well, we are going to be dating, so I think it’s okay. We don’t want people to think we don’t like each other, right?” I say a bit jokingly, but when I realize that he is completely serious about the topic, I switch gears. “A little PDA should be fine.”
“Are you sure you’re comfortable with that?” He lowers his voice reassuringly, and I can’t suppress a tiny grin from appearing on my face.
It’s his softness that continues to impress me, and the fact that he cares more about my comfort than what people think makes me feel warm inside. “Um, I think so.”
“Hmmm.” When I look up at him, he is staring at me like he’s not completely satisfied with my response.
Normally, I hate when people look directly at me, but there is something different about this.
“How about I ask you first? So, that way it is not a surprise. If you don’t feel comfortable, say no, and I’ll drop it. No questions asked.”
“Okay. That sounds reasonable. Should I ask you first too?”
He’s still staring at me, but this time with an added smirk that I haven’t seen in two days. “Ellie, you should just do what comes naturally, and I’ll follow your lead. But if you’re concerned about it, you can always ask.”
His comment fills my stomach with butterflies, and I can’t tell if he is being flirtatious or just being nice. “Okay, I can do that.”
Trying to avoid more silence, I move onto the next point on my phone. “I think that if either of us feels like this fake-dating is too much, we can give a notice and break things off. Does that sound fair?”
“That sounds more than fair, Ellie.”
“Okay, good. How about a week? If one of us decides to stop, we have one week to wrap up loose ends and then have an amicable fake breakup?”
“Sure. I like that. It goes both ways. No one gets upset. No hard feelings.” His words are calculated, harshly reminding me that this is a contract to our fake dating.
“Okay. I have one more thing, but it's a bit silly.”
“Go on.” He waits patiently while I find the courage to say it out loud.
“This might sound stupid, but I’ve read enough romance novels to feel like it should be said. You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”
His expression is unreadable until a deep laugh escapes from him. My cheeks are burning, slightly embarrassed, but he recovers quickly and gives me a sweet smile that takes the shame away.
“I’m sorry for laughing, Ellie. I just—I wasn’t expecting you to say that, but now that you did, that goes for you too. You’ll have to not get caught up in my boyish charms.” He uses a playful tone like the one from the other day, and I can’t help but be fascinated by him.
Fighting the attraction, I roll my eyes. “I will find a way to manage.”