11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Ryan
“Thank you for being willing to coach for me this week,” Kevin said. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” I answered. “It will be fun to be around the game again. And I’ll just be assisting right? The other guy will take on all of the head coaching duties?”
Kevin nodded. “Yes, he’ll cover all of the rest of that, but you’ll be there to help coach first base, and just with whatever needs to be done.”
“Perfect,” I said.
Kevin had a last-minute work trip that he needed to take, and he had asked me to help cover the baseball team for him while he was gone. We had gone out for coffee so he could give me the equipment I would need, and fill me in on all the little details. I knew that I owed him one after he had gone to the fundraiser and helped out, but I was also really looking forward to coaching.
I was so thankful that I was able to get back around the game, and that I didn’t feel any of the anger or bitterness that I used to feel about it. As I thought about it, Jenna’s face popped into my mind, and I knew that talking to her had really helped me process through everything.
The next day at work, I could hardly focus on anything because I was so excited for the game that night. I knew it was silly, and that it was just a youth baseball game, but I also felt that it was a huge step for me.
Finally, realizing that I wasn’t going to get anything done in the office, I decided to leave early so I could get ready for the game and get to the ballpark early. I shut everything down, and stopped by Jenna’s office on my way out.
I knocked on her door, and she looked up at me with a curious expression on her face. She nodded her head, indicating that I could come in.
“Hey,” I said, walking into her office. “I’m heading out.”
Jenna looked at her watch, and I knew that she wasn’t going to be leaving for another hour.
“Is the game earlier than I thought?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No,” I said feeling a bit embarrassed. “I am just super excited for it so I’m going to head out early.”
Jenna smiled, and the expression on her face made my heart pound. Once again, I found myself, wishing that she wasn’t one of my employees. I also knew that if she didn’t work for me I wouldn’t know her, which would be terrible.
“That’s awesome,” she said. “
I shrugged my shoulders. “What can I say? I love the game.”
“There’s nothing you need to say. I think it’s great. I will be heading out in an hour, but I’ll see you down there. Tyler is so excited to have you coaching him tonight. It is all that he has been able to talk about ever since he found out.”
I had been able to work with Tyler on pitching a couple times, and he was a great kid. He was easy to coach, and although he wouldn’t be ready to pitch in a game until next season, he was making great progress. I could tell that he paid attention to whatever I said, and that he was practicing at home.
“I’m looking forward to coaching him,” I said, turning towards the door. “Okay, I will see you guys there. I don’t care if this makes me pathetic. I’m heading out to get ready for the game.”
“That’s not pathetic at all,” Jenna said, and I believed her.
Three hours later, I found myself looking at the team, all of them eagerly, expecting me to give them some final words of wisdom. The other coach had just finished giving them some good things to remember, and they were all looking at me as if expecting me to say the exact right thing.
“All right guys,” I said. “There is not much I can add to what Coach already told you. I do want to say this: have fun out there. Baseball is the best sport in the world, and you never know how long you’ll get to play. So enjoy it, have fun, and do your best.”
The boys nodded, broke the huddle, and hurried out onto the field.
I looked around, and realized that I was exactly where I wanted to be. I felt a bit embarrassed to admit how long it had taken me so long to come to that realization. This had been missing in my life for so long, and the answer was so simple, but I had run from it. Rather than embracing the sport I loved, and finding a way to still be around it, even though I couldn’t play, I had tried to avoid it. I let it make me bitter and angry, and that had taken so much away from me. Being out there on the field, helping teach the young players, I felt more alive than I had in years.
I looked over and saw Jenna smiling at me, and I smiled and waved. I could see by the look in her eyes that she knew how I was feeling, and I was so happy to be able to share this with her.
The game went by quickly, and although we didn’t win, it was still a great night.
I watched Tyler run out of the dugout and say hello to his mom. They suddenly turned towards me and invited me to come over.
“Well, Coach, what did you think?” Jenna asked as I got next to her.
“I thought it was absolutely amazing,” I said. “I’m so glad that I got to be out there. I actually think I had more fun than the boys did!”
Jenna laughed and turned to Tyler. “What did you think?”
“It was so fun having you out there with us,” Tyler said. “I know that Coach comes back next week, but I wonder if he’ll let you be there to help too.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure,” I said. “But if he needs me to be there I’ll gladly do it.”
“Well,” Jenna said. “I think that a night like tonight needs some ice cream. What do you guys think? My treat.”
“Yeah!” Tyler said. “That sounds great! What do you think Ryan?”
“I think it sounds great,” I answered.
We turned and started walking towards the cars, and I instinctively reached down and almost grabbed for Jenna's hand. Thankfully, I stopped in time, but it had just felt so right and natural.
The three of us had a great time getting ice cream, and once again that night I fell asleep, thinking about just how much more I enjoyed everything when I was with Jenna. I also thought about how much I had enjoyed coaching the team.
The next morning I woke up and knew that there was something I had to do before I went into the office.
I opened my phone and dialed the number to the local high school. I waited impatiently as it started ringing. I was so excited to take the step. Finally, the receptionist answered, and I could hear from her voice that she was stressed.
“Hello,” I said, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “Can you please patch me through to the voicemail for the baseball coach? I’m sure he is busy right now, but I would like to leave a message for him.”
“Just a minute,” she responded, and I could hear her wrestling papers in the background. “Actually, I can transfer you directly to him. He has a prep period right now, so he is available.”
Before I had a chance to respond I heard a few clicks and beeps, and then I heard a male voice on the other end.
“This is Coach Anderson.”
“Hello Coach, my name is Ryan Jackson. I am a businessman here in town, but I am also a former baseball player. I was wondering if you would be interested in having more help with your program,” I said. I realized that I was speaking very fast, and I felt nervous about how he would respond.
“Wait, are you Ryan Jackson from Penn State?” Coach Anderson asked.
“Yes,” I said, surprised that he had heard of me.
“Oh my word! I grew up in Williamsport, which is only like an hour from Penn State. I knew all about you when I was a kid. I actually went to watch you play.“
“Oh wow, that’s surprising!” I said. “I don’t really know how to respond to that.”
Coach Anderson laughed. “And you would really like to help out with our high school program?”
“Yes,” I said. “I would like to volunteer if possible, and get out there and help however I can. I miss being around the game, I would love to be able to help as much as I can. I have all the fingerprints and background checks done, and I could start as soon as you would like, if you’re willing to have me.”
“Of course I am willing to have you help,” he said.” Are you kidding me? This would be amazing.”
“Great,” I said. “When would you like me to start? When are your practices?”
“We have practice every school day when we don’t have a game. We have games today and tomorrow, so maybe you could come to one of the games so you could get a feel for the team.”
“That works,” I said “And that way I can meet you too. What time is the game? And will you be playing at home?”
“Yes,” he replied. “It is a home game today, and it starts at 3:45. We will start warm-ups at 2:45. Come by whenever, and I’d love to meet you and introduce you to the other coaches and the team. Does that work?”
“That works perfectly,” I said. “Thank you very much. I will be there at 2:45 at the latest today. I am looking forward to meeting you.”
“I am looking forward to meeting you! I will see you then.”
I hung up the phone, looked at my watch, and began counting down the minutes until I would be on the field.