16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Jenna
As I reread the same sentence for the fifth time, I realized that I was not going to focus at all on the book I was trying to finish. I could not stop thinking about my upcoming date with Ryan. Although I was excited about the date, I also felt very anxious. I didn’t exactly know why I was so anxious, but no matter how much I tried to relax, I just couldn't.
I picked up the book again, but before I even opened it up my mind began to wander.
Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to work this out on my own, I picked up my phone and called my mom.
I smiled, as she answered after two rings, like she always did.
“Hey Girly Girl,” she said, using the nickname she had given me when I was only two years old. Aside from the brief time I was in middle school, I had always loved it. I always listened for her voice when I was playing softball, and there was always something so comforting about hearing the familiar name.
“Hey mom,” I said, trying to make my voice sound casual. “What are you up to?”
“I was just sitting here reading,” she said. “I started a new book this morning and I haven’t really been able to put it down. I even had your dad pick up some takeout for lunch because I didn’t want to cook.”
I laughed, imagining her sitting in her chair and refusing to do anything other than read. She had always been an avid reader, and I knew that I got my love of books, writing, and reading from her. Every room in her house had at least two bookshelves, stocked full of every imaginable genre and title. She never left the house without a book in her bag, which is a habit that she passed along to me.
“What about you?” she asked. “What are you doing on this fine afternoon?”
“Well,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I am trying to read, but I can’t focus. I can’t stop thinking about my date with Ryan.”
“What do you mean?” my mom asked. “You sound worried. Why does thinking about your date with Ryan make you worried?”
I smiled as I felt a surge of gratitude that my mom could read me so well.
“I don’t exactly know,” I admitted. “I don’t know if I am worried, or nervous, or what. I’m just not sure. The date is in four days, but I have been nervous ever since he asked me out.”
“I thought you would be excited that you guys are finally going out,” she said.
“Finally?” I said, teasing my mom. “You make it sound like I had the opportunity to go on a date with him before but I just wasn’t taking advantage of it.”
She laughed. “Okay, yeah. I can see how it sounded that way, but that’s not what I meant. I just meant that it seems obvious that you two should be dating.”
“You really think that?” I asked.
“Of course I do,” she answered. “Why? Are you doubting that? Are you wondering whether or not you should have agreed to the date?”
“No,” I said, honestly. “It makes sense to me why we would go out. I think the only thing I’m doubting is what this might mean for Tyler.”
“What do you mean what it might mean for Tyler?” my mom asked. “Tyler adores Ryan. He’s made that perfectly clear.”
“I know. But he knows Ryan as his coach. I don’t think he’s ever thought of him as somebody that I would be dating. I don’t know if he’s ever even thought of me dating anyone. So I am just concerned that it might be weird for him, and weird for me to bring a man into his life, since he’s never really had a man around, other than his grandpa.”
My mom sighed and I could tell that she was considering whether or not she should say what was on her mind.
“What are you thinking?” I asked. I knew that I might not like what she had to say, but I also knew that I wanted to hear it. I respected my mom’s opinion, and I knew that she only wanted the very best for me.
“Okay,” my mom said, speaking slowly and carefully choosing her words. “I am wondering if you are overly concerned about this. It seems to me that you might be making things a lot more complicated than they need to be.”
I thought for a minute, letting my mom’s words sink in.
“You might be right,” I finally said. “I might be making this more dramatic than it needs to be. Tyler really does like Ryan. Ryan really likes Tyler as well. They work together a lot, and really seem to get along.”
“Exactly,” my mom said. “So, now that you can’t put it on your son, why exactly do you think you are nervous about going out with him?”
Her tone was gentle, but I knew that she was asking me the tough question because I needed to consider it. I needed to get this worked out if I was going to start dating Ryan.
“You’re right, Mom,” I said, feeling my eyes fill up with tears. “I am nervous. I haven’t dated anyone since Tyler’s dad left me. I haven’t even thought about dating anyone at all during this time.”
“I know, Honey,” my mom said. “And why is that?”
“A few reasons. I mean, I haven’t really met anyone who I would want to go out with, but I also haven’t really been open to it. I am so afraid of getting hurt again.”
My mom didn’t say anything, I knew she was waiting until I was ready to keep talking. I blinked back the tears and willed myself not to cry. I wasn’t going to shed any more tears over that man.
“I was so disappointed,” I said. “That wasn’t at all what I thought was going to happen. I never even imagined it was a possibility. When we got married, I thought it was going to last the rest of our lives. When I first realized I was pregnant, I knew that it was a shock. We hadn’t planned on having kids so soon, but we had always talked about the fact that we wanted to have at least two, if not three or four, children, and so I didn’t think he would react the way he did.”
“I know,” my mom said. “When he talked to us about wanting to marry you, your dad and I had even asked him about future family plans, and if he wanted to have children. We knew how important it was to you, and we wanted to make sure it would be a good match. He told us that he was excited to have a family. He even said that he had been an only child growing up and didn’t like that, and so that’s why he was excited to have a larger family.”
I shook my head. I didn’t like thinking about my ex, because it hurt. I had gone to therapy for a few years and I had worked really hard to get to a healthy place, but whenever I let myself think about the past too much it stung.
“Jenna,” my mom said, her voice bringing me back to the present. “You need to realize that Ryan is not him. And you’re right, you haven’t dated since then. And I know that you say you really haven’t had the opportunity, but there have been men who have asked you out.”
“I know,” I replied. “You are right. Men have asked me out, but I always turn them down.”
My mom chuckled. “I know. Two of them were sons of my friends. I heard all about it.”
I cringed. “That’s right,” I said, sheepishly. “I’m sorry if that made things awkward for you!”
“Don’t worry about it,” my mom said. “We put it behind us. But, this time you didn’t turn Ryan down. You agreed. He asked you out, and you agreed to go with him. And I saw the two of you at our house the other night. He obviously really likes you, and you seem to really like him, also.”
Even though my mom couldn’t see me, I nodded. “I do like him,” I said, softly.
“So he is different from the rest. There’s something about him that makes you willing to give him the shot,” my mom said.
“Again, you’re right.” I smiled. “He is different from the others. And I am looking forward to the date. I just had to work all of that out first.”
“Yes, and it’s totally understandable you were feeling this way,” my mom said. “But you just need to realize that Ryan is a good man, and you are going with your gut on this one and giving him a shot. I think it’s an excellent decision, and I know your dad agrees with me.”
“You and dad talk about this?”
I felt completely embarrassed at the thought of my parents sitting around talking about me and my love life.
“Of course we do!” my mom said, sounding almost insulted that I would question her about that.
I laughed. “Okay, well I’m embarrassed, but I get it. I guess I will let you get back to your book, I will get back to mine. Thank you for talking with me and helping me figure all of this out. I feel so much better than I did.”
“I am so glad,” she answered. “And I will see you on Saturday when you bring Tyler over here!”
“All right, thank you mom!” I said.
I hung up the phone, and picked up my book.
I truly did feel a lot better, and I also knew that I had to finish the book that day. The rest of the week I was going to spend getting ready for my new job with the newspaper.
With the concern about the date out of my head, I quickly became engrossed in the book. The next thing I knew it was time to pick Tyler up from school.
We got home and he finished his homework while I finished my book. That night we enjoyed a comfortable dinner, and we’re able to relax and watch some television together before he went to bed. He didn’t have baseball practice, and I didn’t have any work to worry about, so we were able to just enjoy a rare peaceful evening.
The next day, after I took Tyler to school, I went to go and get myself pampered. I was splurging and having a spa day. I was going to get a massage, a facial, and a pedicure. I knew that was just the boost that I needed before starting my new job, and I saw it as a way of rewarding myself for everything that was happening, and how hard I worked to get there.
Five hours later, I came home from the spa, feeling completely relaxed. My toes were sparkling pink, my skin was glowing, and I felt completely relaxed.
As I walked up to my front door, I was surprised to see a bouquet of pink roses on my doorstep.
I smiled, and couldn’t help but blush as I read the note that was attached to the flowers.
Hey Jenna! The office is not the same without you, but I am so excited for what this means for you. I am also very, very excited about our date on Saturday. I won’t tell you how long I’ve been looking forward to it, but just know that it’s been more than a week. - Ryan.
I took the flowers inside and set them on the counter in the kitchen. They were absolutely beautiful, and it was such a sweet gesture.
I had to admit that I had missed him. I had grown accustomed to seeing him every day, and it felt weird to not talk with him several times throughout the day.
I picked up my phone and sent him a text.
Hello! Thank you so much for the flowers. They are absolutely beautiful! I am looking forward to Saturday, too. See you then!
I was about to put my phone away when he responded.
Can’t wait.
I smiled as I set my phone down, and couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the evening.
***
The next day, after taking Tyler to school, I went to the store. I was going to buy myself some new outfits for work, and then also pick up something new for the date.
I knew that working at the newspaper I was going to be able to be more casual than I was while working at the real estate office. I still wanted to look nice and professional, but I also was going to fit the mood of the office on the days I would go in there, which was very relaxed. I loved it.
I was also lucky enough to get to work from home three days a week, unless I was on a specific assignment. Most of my work clothes were skirts and blouses, and high heels, none of which would be very appropriate for my new job.
I picked out some new, comfortable pants, shirts, and sweaters, and then I went to the dress section.
At first, I had doubted whether or not I would wear a dress on the date, but I finally decided that I would. I liked the thought of getting dressed up, but I was going to get a simple sundress that would be nice and pretty, but wouldn’t be too formal.
As I wandered among the dresses, I felt a surge of excitement. I was drawn to the green tones, because I knew that color looked best on me. I finally found a very sweet and simple green dress with white flowers on it, and I knew it was perfect.
As I walked toward the checkout counter, I couldn’t help but smile, as I realized that I only had to wait two more days until Ryan and I had our first official date.