Chapter 8 #3
“Certain issues of a performance nature,” Ally went on. “Any good friend would help. Now would you like eggs over easy like usual with red potatoes and a side of sausage? We have the summer fruit cup on special today. Comes free with any meal.”
“Alison,” I said in an undertone.
Ally’s shoulders went tight in her uniform, but she didn’t glance my way. Didn’t acknowledge me at all.
“The fruit cup has blueberries, honeydew, pineapple, and slices of fresh strawberries. The first crop this year from Happy Acres Orchard, right down in Turnbull.”
“Alison,” I said again.
Laurie finished scarfing down her cookie and pulled her chocolatey fingers out of her mouth. “Ally!”
Yeah, my best friend might be able to ignore me, but she definitely couldn’t ignore my little spitfire.
Ally turned, a genuine smile creasing her face and lighting up her honey eyes. “Hiya you. What’re you doing here?” She moved forward and snatched Laurie out of my arms without acknowledging my presence. “Look at these cheeks, all covered in chocolate. What has your daddy been feeding you?”
“Cookies. Unca O and me made ‘em. Daddy brought you one.”
“Daddy actually brought you two, but a certain thief felt the need to sample more of the merchandise.” I cupped my daughter’s head, leaving my hand there until Ally had no choice but to meet my gaze.
“I texted you.”
“Sorry, working.”
“And gossiping. About problems of a performance nature.” The diner was far too quiet around us, and I wasn’t about to give the town anything more to chat about today. “Is Sage working?”
“Sure am.” The cheerful blond crossed the restaurant with a tray full of dishes. “How can I help you?” Sage asked as she passed us, stopping to say something to Mrs. Negley in one of the booths.
They both giggled and glanced my way.
Fabulous.
“By the way,” I said, raising my voice, focusing on Ally’s face as it paled, “we both know my performance was just fine. Spectacular, in fact.”
“Enough to knock you right out?” Sage asked, blinking innocently when I narrowed my eyes.
“Back room,” Ally muttered, handing off Laurie to Sage without even waiting for my direction. Even with all this shit between us, we had a rhythm.
A damn fine one, in and out of bed. Fuck performance issues. Mine had been spot-on.
Sage hugged Laurie and carried her to an empty booth. “How about a nice cup of fruit while your daddy and Ally talk?”
“Ice scream. Daddy promised ice scream.” Laurie glanced my way and banged a tiny fist on the table. “With sprinkles if I was good.”
“Were you good?”
“Yeah, put a hot fudge sundae with sprinkles on my tab. A small one,” I said out of the side of my mouth.
Sage nodded. “Will do.”
Ally was already headed down the hall that led to the bathrooms, the break room, and the storage room, so I followed, figuring she’d aim for the break room. Instead she went right for the storage area.
The second I shut the door, she whirled on me.
“What was I supposed to say? Everyone knows, Seth. Everyone. Someone must’ve seen us at the hotel, or hell if I know.”
I started to reply, but Ally wasn’t finished.
“They asked me questions all shift. I had to make a joke out of it, so people didn’t think you and I could—that we could ever be—”
“Had to make a joke out of me, you mean.” I tucked my thumbs in the pockets of my jeans. “Think you got your wish. Probably half the town is now wondering how I even managed to make my daughter.”
She bowed her head and her jaunty ponytail drooped over one shoulder. “I’m sorry. It was just a joke to save face and I guess I went too far.”
“Save face why? Even if someone got the idea that we were together, why not just roll with it?”
“Roll with it? Are you crazy?”
“I must be, considering the last week.” I stepped forward and forced the irritation from what she’d told people out of my head. When compared with my recent sins, it didn’t really rank. “I texted you that I was sorry.”
She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “For what, exactly?”
“I never should have asked you to have my baby.”
Ally’s gaze shot to the door as if she expected it to blow open at any moment. “About time you realize that.”
“It was completely unfair of me. I’m not enough to be both mom and dad to a new child. I mean, with Laurie, it just worked out that way, but to set up a situation where I’m the only one making all the decisions for another child isn’t right. I’m simply not enough.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ally stepped forward, going toe to toe with me. “Laurie is a happy, well-adjusted little girl. She adores you.”
“I’m not her mother. I can never be her mother.” I swallowed hard. “No matter how much I love her, it’s not the same as—”
“You think a child knows the difference as long as they’re treasured?
Sure, they might wonder what if, but the lack comes from not being loved enough, not from whether the person who tucks them in at night was mommy or daddy.
I didn’t know my father, and I grew up just fine with only my mom.
She was everything.” Ally gripped my wrists and jerked my arms until my eyes snapped up to meet hers. “She was way more than enough.”
“Your mother was amazing.”
“You’re right. She was. And so are you. Laurie couldn’t be any luckier if she had two parents. No one could love that little girl more than you do. Just like you’d love that new baby. I never doubted for a second that you were enough. It wasn’t that.”
“I didn’t know you were a virgin. If I’d known…”
“It’s not about that either.” Her nails scraped my wrists, and the bite of pain made my cock spring to life. I wasn’t proud of it, but this woman was like a goddamn torch to my libido.
One taste of her hadn’t been enough. Would never be enough.
“Then?” I asked softly, fighting the urge to cup her cheek so she had no choice but to look into my eyes. I hated that she never fully looked at me anymore. That was a new thing too.
So much of this was new, and she wasn’t the only one struggling to keep her footing. With every step, I felt as if I was sinking in quicksand.
“You’re the most important person in my life. If this goes sideways and I lose you—” she began.
“Not gonna happen.” Even after the past week, I didn’t have to fake the confidence in my voice. “We are solid. Always. No matter what.”
“A baby would change things. You thought you’d make it easy on me, give me the chance to walk away.
But I couldn’t. Just like I can’t turn my back on you or that little girl.
” Her face tipped up to mine and her pleading tone cut me to the quick.
“Do you honestly think I could walk away from a child we’d made? ”
“So do it with me.”
Her mouth quivered. “What?”
“Have the baby with me and we’ll raise it together.
Why the hell not, right? We’re both single, and we’re friends.
As close as could be before sex, and now that’s obviously a go too, so why not?
” I rushed on, the idea gaining speed. I didn’t know all the logistics of what I was suggesting, but right now, I didn’t care.
This way, we could both get what we wanted. And I wouldn’t lose her. She wouldn’t walk away from town for school, or if she did, she’d come back.
She’d always come back to me. To us.
Ally backed up and spun around, facing the stacks of boxes along the far wall. “What about Laurie?”
The question barely registered, because all I could think about was that she hadn’t said no.
Hadn’t said yes either, but she definitely hadn’t said no.
“She wants another sibling. You know that.”
“But if it’s me you have the child with, won’t it confuse her? We’ve spent years telling her we are just friends.”
“She loves you. She’d be thrilled to have you around more. As would I.” Unable to stay away a second longer, I wrapped my arms around her from behind.
She not only bristled, but she pulled her body not so subtly away from mine.
Something else she was always doing lately.
Now that I knew she was attracted to me too, it seemed like just one more confusion to pile onto the rest. But maybe she wasn’t comfortable being attracted to me yet.
In her mind, we were still off-limits. Still strictly friend-zoned.
“Hey,” I said gently. “It’s just me. Last night doesn’t change all that came before.” She let out a broken laugh and I swallowed over the dust in my throat. “Does it?”
She laughed again, weakly. “I know you’re not a chick.”
“Not so much, no.”
“But yeah, for women, sex changes stuff. Probably not all women. I’m sure there are plenty who can do it and not overanalyze, but I’m not one of them. Not when it’s you.”
I stroked a hand over her arm. “Plus, it was your first—”
“God, don’t.” She buried her face in her hands. “So embarrassing.”
“What is?”
“I’m almost thirty and I hadn’t done it with anyone yet. I’m a freak with super-high expectations.”
“Having super-high expectations makes you a freak? Good to know.” Carefully, I turned her to face me and skimmed my thumb down the side of her throat. The skin was more than a little pink there, and my dick stirred again. My stubble had branded her as surely as my cock had.
Mine. I would always be her first. No matter what.
“I’m glad it was me,” I said hoarsely, tightening my hold on her throat. That brief show of dominance had her glancing up warily, but she didn’t back away. “That it was us. You gave me a gift I won’t ever forget.”
“Yeah, well, ditto, Hamilton.” She took a breath and the next time she spoke, her voice was stronger. “It didn’t quite compare to your Mustang exploits for your first time, but as far as first time fucks go, it probably wasn’t too bad.”
“Probably not.” I brushed a kiss over her forehead and she softened in my arms, melting against me in a way that didn’t make me want to stop kissing her. Or touching her.
Ever.
“Now we have time to perfect the technique,” I added as lightly as possible when my vocal cords were squeezed as tight as my swollen cock in my jeans.
“Do we?”
“Oh yeah. If you want to.” I wrapped my hand around her ponytail and tugged. “With or without a baby, I want you again. In every goddamn way possible.”
Her chin trembled. “But the baby is important to you. You wouldn’t have gone to a lawyer to draw up a contract if it wasn’t. It wasn’t a lark.”
I was tempted to deny what she’d said, but I couldn’t. She was the only person I’d always been honest with.
Her and my little girl.
“Yeah, it matters. Not just because Laurie’s asked for one.
That might be a passing whim, who knows.
” I shuffled my feet, feeling idiotic. Still, telling the truth was important.
“Growing up without my mom around for more than random holidays was rough. Not because my dad raised us, but because he wasn’t into it.
He cared more about his work. And yeah, I know I have the tendency to get caught up too, so I want some insurance Laurie has what I did. ”
“Your twin,” Ally whispered.
“Yeah. We always had each other. Even when he stole my Legos or hid the second Xbox controller or put rice in my socks, the little fucker.” I had to grin.
“She should have that too, and soon, before the age difference is too much. She’s already almost four, and it’s not like there’s anyone special in my life. ” I sucked in a breath. “Except you.”
She shifted out of my arms, but not before the wetness in her eyes stole the oxygen right back out of my chest. “Ally—”
“Give me a few days, okay? Some time to work through all of this, to figure out how I feel.”
I wanted to argue. To try another tack. That was what I did. I negotiated for new angles, new perks to throw into the deal. Whatever it took to close the sale.
And she deserved so much more than that.
“Okay.” I nodded and shoved all the jagged edges inside me back in line. “As long as you need.”
She glanced back, surprise erasing the raw emotion on her face. “Seriously? Maybe I wasn’t the only one who needed to get laid.”
I laughed, shocking us both before I leaned forward to press my lips to her forehead again. “Definitely not.”
Though it about killed me to walk away from her, I headed for the door. I placed my hand on the knob and looked back, memorizing the way the lone overhead bulb gave her dark hair an angelic glow. But those deep brown eyes were temptation unparalleled.
“If people ask what we did in here, don’t suppose you could say you found out my little problem was miraculously solved?”
Her lips twitched. “Never said it was a little problem, Hamilton. All your problems,” she cleared her throat, “are huge.”
I grinned and stepped out, shutting the door behind me. Now I just had to wait.
A peal of girlish laughter flowed down the hall and my grin widened.
And eat ice cream with my baby girl.