Chapter 9 #2
I glanced at my watch. Almost noon. “Mom, I have an appointment at one with a client. I appreciate the visit, but—”
“You don’t have time.” She was already making herself tea, so she had no intention of leaving me in peace anytime soon.
Nudging her along had been a knee-jerk reaction. Her weekly visits for lunch were a bright spot in a hell of a lot of hectic mornings and long afternoons. My mother was quirky and a little kooky and frequently made me crazy. She also made me laugh.
Much like someone else I knew. I didn’t know her at all really, but I wanted to.
I wanted far too much.
“I really wish I did.”
“You know, you have choices.”
“What?”
She shook her head and returned with her hot cup of water and teabag to sit across from my desk. “You’re thirty-four years old, Preston. Thirty-five soon enough.”
I clamped a hand on the back of my neck. Tight, throbbing muscles were a mainstay for me, and today was no exception. “Thanks for the reminder.”
“You have no social life. You don’t date. Don’t have pets. For God’s sake, you don’t even have a plant.”
“It died,” I said shortly.
“I know, since I was the one to give you that tomato plant. I gave you a card with instructions, and still, it was brown and withered within weeks.”
“I’m too busy to—”
“Live,” she said quietly. “You’re not living, baby, and I don’t want that for you. Anything but that.”
I turned back to the window. There was a crow—raven?—perched on a high branch of a tree across the street, staring at me. Judging me with its beady little eyes.
Everyone was judging. Worse, they had every right to.
Okay, probably not the bird. He didn’t know my struggle.
“Did you think I need a lecture today?”
“Yes. I’ve thought you needed one for a while. And it’s not a lecture. It’s advice from someone who loves you and doesn’t want you to waste the beauty inside you.”
I couldn’t even laugh. I tried to, but the sound got stuck somewhere between my chest and my throat.
Her cup rattled in the saucer as she set them down on my desk. A moment later, she stepped up beside me and laid her hand on my lower back, rubbing gently. “She was reading your tarot cards when I arrived.”
“Mine?”
“Yes. She said you were full of tower energy.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re on the edge, Preston. A step forward can take you into the abyss. Or you can fly.”
Leave it to me to have a mother who liked to attend psychic fairs. She probably saw Ryan as a kindred spirit.
Hell, maybe she was.
“That sounds like a bunch of crap.”
“Definitely tower energy,” she affirmed. “Change is all around you. You were never meant to live in stasis. If you won’t make the choice, the universe will make it for you.”
“I’m supposed to believe she told you all this within a moment of meeting you?”
“Oh, no,” my mother said cheerfully, returning to the desk to retrieve her tea. “We chatted for a good hour.”
If I’d been drinking something, I would have sputtered it out. “During work hours?”
“Spiritual work is far more important than piddly tasks.” She waved her ringed fingers before lifting her tea for a sip. “This rose hibiscus is very good.”
“I didn’t put that there.”
“No, Ryan did. She said she replenished the tea because it was running low. She’s quite a find, isn’t she?”
I grunted. I could sense where this was going, and I did not like it one bit.
“She’s also single,” my mother continued. “And quite lovely.”
“And?”
“You’re not arguing.”
“I have eyes, don’t I?”
“The lovers card came up while she was doing your reading. Are you avoiding her before or after?”
“Before or after what, exactly?”
She lifted her eyebrows and sipped again.
“She is my assistant,” I said through gritted teeth. “I know what is right and proper doesn’t matter to anyone else around here, but it does to me.”
My mother rolled over that point as if it was insignificant. “So you are interested.”
“I’m interested in her doing some work during the time she is in my employ. I can be a very generous boss,” I swore I heard my mother snort, “and I’m willing to compensate more than fairly, but I need to know she cares enough to try.”
For God’s sake, was that the source of my irritation with her? Not counting misplaced lust, of course. I didn’t want to do this job, but I tried my hardest. Ryan sometimes behaved as if it wasn’t worth her time. As if I wasn’t.
I massaged my forehead. Psychobabble was taking over my brain.
My mother sighed. “She cares. She’s organizing your Rolodex into active and inactive clients, cross-referencing the log of their respective cases. Why April never thought to do that, I don’t know.”
I did not respond.
“And she was considerate enough to replenish the tea with her favored blends. There’s a new assortment in the waiting room for clients as well.”
“Along with a fresh stack of copies of Cosmo?”
“She’s so personable. I don’t doubt she will make your clients feel more comfortable at a very difficult time in their lives. Not that April isn’t more than capable, but she isn’t as warm and friendly.”
My mom singing Ryan’s praises didn’t exactly kill my annoyance. I’d just begged her to stay this morning. Obviously, I grasped her potential. But having potential didn’t mean she would use it, other than when it suited her.
I’d promised her a bonus either way, because she’d made inroads into the chaos of the records room. If she didn’t do much else this week, that would be worth it.
Not that I intended to tell her that.
My mother was still talking, although I’d clearly missed some of what she was saying. “I don’t worry about your brother, because he enjoys everything.”
“Too much.”
“How can you enjoy life too much?” My mom shook her head.
“I married young, and sometimes I wonder what I missed. But then I look at you boys and take stock of my life, and I realized I have everything I could ever want.” She smiled and the frown lines creasing her forehead vanished.
“Besides, I have plenty of time. As do you. When you look back at your life, always make sure there’s something to see. ”
I swallowed hard. I should tell her. Soon.
But how? The last thing I wanted to do was to cause her pain. It wasn’t even my secret to tell.
But my father wouldn’t. That meant I’d have to.
“Why did you and Dad get married?”
She didn’t seem surprised by the question. “We were going in the same direction.” One corner of her mouth lifted then she drank more tea. “Then.”
I frowned. “What about now?”
“Why are you asking about marriage?” she asked in lieu of an answer.
“I’m not. I’m asking about yours. I want to understand what makes someone take a leap of faith like that.”
And why it goes wrong.
“Leaping with a net isn’t leaping at all. The jump is the destination.” She returned her tea cup to the wet bar and then moved to the door. “Sorry I can’t stay longer, but I’m meeting the girls to go shopping.” She paused with her hand on the knob. “You’ll think about what I said?”
I didn’t have much choice. What she’d said—and what she hadn’t—was spinning in my mind. Mixed in were flashes of memory of Ryan’s mouth, hot and hungry against mine.
She wasn’t one to leap with a net, that was for damn sure.
“I will. Have fun with the girls.” I paused. “Mom, you’re happy, right?”
It wasn’t a fair question. She didn’t have all the information. But I needed to know she was.
Even just for now.
Her smile answered for her. “I’m happy. I want that for you too. You deserve it.”
She closed the door behind her, and I resisted trying to get a glimpse of Ryan. Instead, I went to my desk and picked up the phone.
After I plugged it back in.
When the call connected, I took a deep breath. “Hi. I want to set up a date.”