Chapter 19 #3
I reached up to grip one of my dangling smoky quartz earrings. They would start me on the path to grounding myself, but I clearly should’ve stacked on my armor. Bracelets, necklace, possibly a giant She-Ra style belt made of fluorite.
A blur of gray shot down the stairs and into the foyer. Was I seeing spooks? Then I realized what I’d witnessed wasn’t a ghost.
“Hiya Smoky.”
He pranced over with his three-legged grace to sit on my sandal. I rubbed his head. “I was wondering where you’d sequestered yourself.”
“Probably one of the closets.” PMS turned around in the living room to look at us. “He’s been enjoying exploring. This morning, I found him on top of the curtain rod.”
I laughed and picked up the cat, tucking him against my chest. To my surprise, he decided to settle himself over my shoulder, so I turned around to let him face PMS.
“That cat loves you.” He sounded resigned. “Are you sure he wasn’t meant to be yours instead?”
“No, he was meant to be—”
Ours. The sentence formed in my head without conscious thought. But conscious thought was sure as hell keeping me from saying it.
“Cat got your tongue?”
“Haha. Funny.” I tipped my head against Smoky. “Let’s take a tour so you can feed me. I hope you’re well stocked. I had a microwave meal for lunch so I’m famished.”
“Yeah, well, I ate half a sandwich outside the judge’s chambers this afternoon. I think we’re equally hungry.”
Somehow when his voice dipped, I wasn’t thinking of food.
I cupped Smoky against me more securely as we roamed through the house, but he seemed perfectly happy with his new perch. And I liked having him to hold on to.
Together, we examined the place. Gleaming dark wood was offset by neutral colors that created a serene oasis, sheltered from the outside world while still bringing it inside through the myriad windows.
There were a couple of fireplaces and I even spotted a windowseat in the den, piled with cream-colored pillows that looked like they’d never been used.
There was a wall of bookshelves filled with colorful leather bound books, and I yearned to roll over the library-style ladder to explore.
But instead of focusing on most of Preston’s beautiful home, I was far too aware of how often his elbow bumped against mine or the feel of his broad palm low on my back as we climbed the stairs to the next floor.
His warm breath fluttering against my ear while he pointed out the view from the master bedroom made me think of things that had nothing to do with the glittering curve of Crescent Lake in the distance.
I wanted to check out the view from the telescope on the balcony but I was clutching the cat for all I was worth.
Something about the gigantic bed with its pale blue, obviously high thread count sheets intimidated me and I couldn’t stop staring at it.
“Tired?” He stroked the cat, his gaze locked on my face. “You didn’t sleep long earlier.”
“I’m not in the habit of sleeping at dinner time, so no, I’m fine.”
“Maybe you’re thinking of other reasons one might use a bed…”
“No,” I said too quickly, and he laughed as he led me down the hall to yet more bedrooms, all with high ceilings and massive windows that let in the maximum amount of light. Night had fallen now, so he turned on lamps as he went.
Making my throat ache with every step, even if I had no clue why.
“Are you planning on having a baseball team? I can’t see any reason for so many rooms.”
“It’s an investment.”
“Hmm.” My best friend was with me in the form of her favorite dubious expression even when she wasn’t. “I could fit my whole apartment in here like six times over. Your hall closet is bigger than my bathroom.”
“Your point?”
“Doesn’t this strike you as weird?” I motioned between us, but he didn’t seem to have any interest in looking my way.
“That we’re still talking when we’re both hungry, and I have a refrigerator full of food? Absolutely. I’ll go get things ready.” He disappeared down the stairs before I had a chance to follow.
Maybe he needed a moment too. Goddess knew I needed about a hundred of them.
I had friends from all walks of life. But I didn’t know anyone with this level of wealth. I’d gone to the bathroom midway through the house tour and looked up the model of his new car on my phone.
The thing cost six-freaking-figures. And he’d never mentioned having another car when I teased him about his grandpa-mobile, so that meant it was probably new. Plus, this model was the latest one on the market. So, not only was it expensive as hell, it was also trendy.
That wasn’t me at all.
Now I was probably going to go down there to discover he’d set the fancy dining room table with Irish linen and heavy cut crystal candlesticks that could kill a man dead.
The ornate armoire beside the table held enough china—probably some family heirlooms—to fill that long table and then some.
Our dinner would probably be the finest cut of salmon or filet mignon and lobster tails with new potatoes in a delicate herbed sauce.
I was a Moons Over My Hammy sort of girl.
“I’m wigging out,” I whispered to the cat, digging my toes into the thick, expensive Aubusson rug beneath my feet.
One of my mother’s “boyfriends” had bought her one in this style a million years ago, and she’d gushed over it for weeks. Then he’d cheated on her with the neighbor and demanded we move out by morning.
Fancy things meant our van would have a Tiffany lamp crammed against the back window before we had to pawn it for rent money for the in-between times.
I held Smoky tighter, and he made a little squeak. Or that could’ve been me. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
The cat stared up at me, his unblinking green eyes steady on mine. He didn’t fight to get down, just bumped his head against my chin in silent solidarity.
There was no reason at all tears should’ve sprung to my eyes. It was just sex and dinner. Dinner and sex. Easy, enjoyable stuff. I’d been dating since I was thirteen, for pity’s sake.
I was making this way too hard.
But that didn’t stop me from sitting on the edge of the neatly made guest room bed with its plush dark green comforter to give myself another minute. Smoky decided to jump down and do a big stretch before coiling into a perfect circle in the center of the mattress.
“Are you allowed on the beds?”
Unshockingly, he didn’t answer.
I sighed and did a quick centering spell using the smoky quartz at my ears as my crystals to focus on. Then I took out my mini tarot deck and did a fast throw of the cards.
“What will happen with this?” I asked into the silence, feeling a bit like a kid waiting for her mom to walk in and catch her with her hand in her panties.
No one walked in, and the two cards I drew didn’t quiet my nerves.
The Tower and the Star.
All the changes, but ultimately, they would be good ones. Upheaval could be positive in the end, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt in the middle.
I really liked my life as it was. Sure, I wished some things would improve. Like I wanted to make a real go of it with my art.
But even there, that pesky cat kept sneaking in. I wasn’t in control. I could keep fighting it, or I could let events unfold as they would.
If this was my Tower moment, I had to trust I would make the right choices. Part of that included really being present tonight.
No distractions.
I shut off my phone and made myself smile at Smoky, who was watching me with one slitted green eye. And maybe I could even have a few more orgasms along the way.