Chapter 25 #2
“Gone?” our mother echoed, exchanging a glance with Dex. “How can you marry her if she’s not present?”
“That is a quandary. Except we aren’t getting married yet.”
“Did you hear that yet? I heard a yet.”
“Record it on your phone,” our mother suggested. “That way, when he does his Frosty the Lawyer thing, we’ll have proof he has warm feelings for her.”
I rolled my eyes. Frosty the Lawyer was a nickname I hadn’t heard in years. I hadn’t missed it either.
“Try sizzling. You see all that?” Dex pointed at the scattered pens and papers on the floor. “He was having a mantrum when I came in here. He almost tossed his computer.”
“Enjoying yourselves?” I asked mildly, settling my still damp tie back into place. I patted my vest and figured I might as well wear my coffee after the day I’d had.
“Hugely.” My brother circled his arm around our mom’s shoulders. “I almost hate to leave and break up the party, but I have a prior engagement.”
“Blond, brunette or redhead?”
“Speaking of threeways…” He ducked when our mother gave him a stern look.
I had to laugh as I stood. “Can you meet Bishop and I at Lonegan’s Sunday evening?”
“Sure. Time to wine and dine?”
“Or get stupidly drunk. We’ll see how it goes.”
“If you need a designated driver, I’ll come get you,” my mother said, making Dex pat her on the head as if she was a slightly dotty senior citizen. She was not amused.
“Of course. Or maybe you’ll come and drink us under the table. Though last time we couldn’t get you down off the bar.”
She flushed and adjusted the big flower choker around her neck. “Oh, stop. I got down.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Clearly, I needed to spend more time with my family—even if it would be an education I might not be ready for.
Now was as good a time as any to start.
“If you and Dad want to come…” I trailed off, feeling awkward as hell.
If they had an arrangement that worked for them, fine, but I didn’t know if I could just play along. I’d have to keep trying, because my father was my dad regardless. Their choices were their own.
Even if they would never, ever be mine.
My mom’s smile faltered. “No, that’s for you boys. A lot to talk about, isn’t there?”
I smoothed a hand down my vest. It wasn’t too wet anymore. “Dad told you? Or your mouthy son?”
“Wasn’t me this time.” Dex mimed zipping his lips.
“I talked to your father.”
“And you came to see if I’m on a ledge yet.”
“Yes, to see if you’re ready to put out your parachute and fly.”
It made me smile. “No wonder you like Ryan.”
“I love her. She has the most wonderful energy.” She nudged Dex toward the door. “Go on now. Enjoy your threeway.”
“If you insist, Mom.” He kissed her cheek and opened the door, glancing over his shoulder at me one last time. “She’ll be back. You know Shaw men are irresistible.”
“Keep telling your hand that.”
He closed the door behind him with a grin as I shut my eyes in horror that I’d said that in front of my mother.
Obviously, I was not fit for public consumption today. Or possibly any day until Ryan came back.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
“I’m going to blow your mind, Preston. Not only have I had sex, I know what masturbation is.”
“So, um, how’s the plants?”
She laughed and bent to start picking up the items off the floor. “Just fine.”
I rushed around the desk to help her. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t. But with two sets of hands, any task goes quicker—and is more fun too.” From where she crouched on the floor, she pinned me with a direct look. “Seems like you’ve just discovered that too.”
“Not just, but yeah.”
“You really like her, don’t you?”
I nodded, swallowing down the part where I spilled all my feelings like a jackass who’d never been in love before.
Because I hadn’t. And I could tell myself it was just the jalapenos I had on the sub I’d gotten for lunch, but I knew better. I wouldn’t be coming out of this so-called haze in a few weeks.
Or a few lifetimes.
“I think I’m like a penguin.”
“Come again?”
I grabbed some of my fancy gold pens—all the same for visual continuity—off the floor and stuck them in my cup, also gold.
“I saw this special once. Penguins mate for life. They may not find their specific bird for a while, but when they do, they don’t see any other birds.
It’s like this one singular, specific one is the only one they want.
And if their mate dies, they are destined to be forever alone.
Staring off into the distance while saxophones play in the background. ”
My mom chuckled. “They have their own musical accompaniment. How lovely for them.”
“I think it’s in their contract. Anyway, I’m fairly certain I knew from the first time she insulted me via email. Which was right away.”
“So, you have masochistic tendencies?”
“Obviously. I just got a cat.” I took a few pens she’d gathered out of her hand. “Who also loves Ryan, by the way.”
“Also? That’s a very telling word.”
I didn’t bother to deny it. Instead, I dumped more pens in the cup and set it on the desk then started picking up the paperwork that had scattered all over.
My mom stopped me with a hand on my bandaged wrist. “What did you do?”
Rather than tell her, I peeled off the bandage and watched her eyes film over at the small tattoo.
“A moon?”
“Yeah.” I tried to make my vocal cords work.
“And a sun, because she’s especially that for me.
Ever since she’s been gone, it feels like everything is cold and dark inside me.
When she’s here, it’s easier for me to laugh.
At myself especially. I just like having her around.
” I shoved papers into a manila folder and flung it on the desk. “I don’t know how it happened.”
“It was time,” she said gently.
“Maybe. I think it’s just because it’s her.”
“Where did she go?”
As we picked up the rest of the stuff from the floor, I told her in mom-sanctioned terms. Nothing about outdoor sex or touches that singed or cock rings made from belts. Even if she knew about all that stuff and more, it was better for my psyche if I pretended she didn’t.
“After spending such a wonderful night together, no wonder you felt blindsided. Good thing your brother saved your computer just in time.”
“Yeah.” I grabbed my mouse and found the mousepad under the chair before rising and putting them both on the desk. “I haven’t had a temper tantrum since I was…”
“You’ve never had a temper tantrum, Preston. That would require an excessive display of an emotion, and we both know how you feel about those.”
“It was stupid.” I exhaled. “She’s wary. I get that. She has reason to be.”
“And you don’t? You’re a wealthy man.” When I would’ve spoken, she held up a bejeweled hand with the typical stripe of dirt on the back.
She almost always missed a spot. “I don’t believe she’s an untrustworthy sort.
Just the opposite. But if you wanted reasons to turn away, you certainly have understandable ones. ”
“She doesn’t want my money.” I laughed dryly. “I thought about buying a sports car, and she acted as if she didn’t know why would I do something like that. Turns out she was right.”
I had an appointment for later to drop off the crotch rocket and test out a much more reasonable but still tricked out SUV. Only now I’d just have Smoky to discuss the purchase with.
He was probably even now making plans for a new speed dating event appointment, one where he could go home with Ryan.
Hell, Smoky was more likely to be informed of her current location than I was. Maybe he’d act as an intermediary.
I rubbed my aching temple. And I was officially losing it.
“She’s a wise girl. I saw that right away.”
“Yeah, and she was probably wise to take a minute to think. Neither of us have done that much.”
“In that first burst of lust, no one does.”
At my narrowed-eyed look, she shrugged and stood. “We’ve all been there.”
I opened my top drawer and dumped the files in there I didn’t want to deal with now. I’d handle them later. Then I eased a hip on the corner of the desk. “Is that how you got together with Dad?”
Immediately, her smile faded. “I told you we were going the same direction.”
“That doesn’t sound like lust to me. So, does that mean you know all about it with someone else?”
Not that I wanted to ask that question now or ever, but Ryan had put the idea in my head, and it had burrowed there like a thumbtack.
“I did date before your father, you know.”
“And after?”
She sighed. “If I didn’t know you were a superb attorney already, that tone would tell me. I’ve never been on the other side of it before.”
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”
“Yes, you did. I knew it was coming. Dad warned me about that too. Apparently, he protected my honor by not saying I was as culpable as he was.” She brushed away an invisible piece of lint. “I just don’t dine out at restaurants where my son can see.”
I undid my tie and yanked it off.
“You’re angry.”
“No. Yes. More than anything, I don’t understand.”
“Be glad you don’t.” She stepped forward and reached up to grasp my shoulders. It took everything inside me not to jerk away. “I don’t want that for you. Not that it hasn’t worked out fine for me, but you’re not—”
“A liar? A cheater?” I couldn’t help the words, even if I regretted the look they put in her eyes so like my own. “I thought you were different than he was.”
“He’s your father.” She so rarely used a harsh tone with me that it was almost a slap to hear it.
“And you’re my mother. I put both of you on pedestals, so I guess it was time for that to end too.”
Something like grief crossed over her face. “What is right for us doesn’t have to be right for you.”
“You’re correct there. It isn’t. Maybe that’s the whole point with Ryan. We wouldn’t ever make some bloodless arrangement about something that should be messy as fuck or it shouldn’t exist. Period.” Deliberately, I took her hands off my shoulders. I gave them a squeeze, but I released them.