Chapter 15 Sofia
Sofia
Icreep out of my guest room and tiptoe past my old bedroom door, Danger wiggling in my arms. I don’t know what woke me up the way I did.
But I knew without a doubt that the bubble would pop, that I would have to face all the things I’ve been running from, and I’m not ready for it.
In the kitchen, I grab Danger’s bowl, lead, biscuits, treats, and his favourite toy.
I snap on my treat pouch and check I’ve got enough bags before dumping a huge water bottle and some protein bars in a bag for me, then I pad as quickly as I can to the front of the house.
I back out of the door and pull it shut. I think I see someone on the landing, but I can’t be certain, and I’m not stopping to look.
Coward.
I don’t care.
I can’t do this today.
Without meaning to, I break into a run. All the ghosts of my past and future are on my heels, breathing down my neck, demanding that I be someone I’m not. The person I am now isn’t great. I’m nothing special, so why are they pretending that I am?
The dark is fading, and despite the storm yesterday, the sky is promising to be filled with the bluest of blues. There are only a few cirrus clouds floating on the faint golden glow of dawn. The town is starting to wake up; I can almost feel them stretching behind closed doors.
Getting to the beach gives me some small amount of breathing room. I set Danger down and let him do his business before I give him his breakfast. The rosy pinks and oranges of the morning and an almost mirror surface bring some semblance of calm back.
I see someone on the beach, and the fear comes back. I pick up our stuff and start walking, calling to Danger, who eagerly bounces around in front of me.
“I know this is not good. Running away. Not letting anyone know where I’m going. I mean, Mum is going to kill me.”
Danger barks.
“Yeah, but she loves you; me she tolerates,” I whine. “Stupid. I just need to…I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. But we’re going to a place. Our secret place.”
Danger races after a pack of seagulls that sit on the sand. They float into the air, balefully glaring at him from above.
I see one seagull sitting on the sand as we pass. It tracks us with a red and white eye. It’s kind of terrifying.
“Come on, Danger.”
When I look back, the gull is still watching us.
“Yep, apparently I’m having a meltdown of epic proportions. Another one. I am so proud.”
It takes forty minutes to get down to the rocks. The ocean laps at the shore, that familiar sound that I hear in my dreams, the smell of salt and the lighthouse…that looks like someone painted it? I thought it was abandoned?
The lighthouse is set on the cliffs, but I’m not going up there. I’m going around.
I pick up Danger and start climbing the rocks, carefully moving from one to the other. It’s an easy walk around if you know the path, and I’ve had it mapped out since I was a kid.
We get around the end of the cove where the rocks plunge into deeper, more dangerous waters. I’m careful as we round that point. The water rushes up but stops just short of the edge of my shoes.
When we get around, there’s a massive cliff and a small rocky beach.
I keep going. Passing this beach and the next.
It’s on the third that I stop and let Danger down.
The beach itself is completely enclosed by ocean and cliff, but in the back far corner is a cave that is carved deep into the side of the rock.
The beach itself has no sand and just millions of tiny stones.
It’s a beautiful spot for snorkeling and swimming, but most people don’t bother coming out here.
I sit down and wrap my arms around my knees. The sky is as blue as it promised to be. I’m so distracted by my thoughts that I don’t register the person until they sit next to me.
“Hey.”
I lean on Asher’s shoulder. “Hey.”
“You skipped out early.”
“I needed some time to think. Who tattled on me?”
She chuckles easily and ties her hair in a pony tail.
“Devon.”
I sigh. “He knows me too well.”
“Yeah, he does. Have they done something to upset you? Because I am not above putting jalapenos in their coffee.”
“No, yes. I mean.” I grab my hair and pull. With a look at her, I groan in defeat. “I don’t know. They are perfect, and they are saying all the right things, but I wanted them for so long, and I gave up. I walked away, and here they are, sitting with their hands out offering me…” I stop.
“Offering you what?”
“Everything I ever dreamed. Friendship, conversation, their attention. Just, sometimes the way they look at me makes me feel like a teenager again.”
“Those diabolical assholes. So, why aren’t you taking it with a happy smile? You were kind of crazy about them.”
I wince, remembering just how insane I was.
“Because things changed. I changed, and I can’t want that life anymore. It doesn’t fit.”
“Ah.”
The silence between us is comfortable, but Asher, Felix, and I were always close after our family adopted them. Sebastian was the odd alpha out. I’m glad that nothing has changed between us, though; I was afraid it might.
“Why didn’t you leave? You won that scholarship, I thought you were heading out, too?”
Asher frowns, glaring out at the ocean. “I mean, it seemed like a great idea until it came to leaving, and I realised I could leave, I would go out into the world, become some bigshot at whatever I choose to do, and I knew I could make it.”
“But?”
“But I just didn't want to leave,” she says simply. “I am happy here. I love our life. There is no part of me that wants to go.”
“Uh huh.”
Asher sighs. “Okay, so maybe it’s a bit lonely, and I look at Felix and think that maybe we might end up together forever. I know he wants someone to share his life with. He’s never going to find that here. I can’t imagine leaving him right now.”
“And you don’t want anyone?”
“Me? No. Who would be able to put up with me? I’m grumpy most of the time, and when I’m not, I’m so deep in my cave or the ocean that I’d forget to eat if I didn’t have a nagging mum.”
“She is the best.”
Danger toddles back and climbs up in my lap, falling asleep with his head in the crook of my arm.
“Poor little tyke, all tuckered out. He’s fitting in well here.”
“Yeah, he is.”
We fall silent. I know it’s coming; I almost count the seconds.
“Who hurt you?” Her voice is cold and dangerous. Sebastian might be the loud, get-into-a-fight-to-protect-your-honour sibling, but Asher is the deadly assassin.
“It doesn’t matter; they are dust in the wind.”
“Was it serious?”
I squint and make a so-so gesture. “Well, I mean, they were courting me. I thought it was serious. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I was scared, but they were like knights riding white horses, promising to fix everything.”
“And?”
“And they wanted someone else, too. I was just the backup plan. I was…humiliated and wounded but not deeply hurt.”
Asher growls.
“It’s all right. Once I discovered I was just a second choice, I realised that I didn’t actually feel any sort of way about them.”
“Did you get revenge?”
I shake my head. “You’re still as bloodthirsty as I remember.”
“No, I’m much worse these days.”
“Nice! I can’t believe you two didn’t wait for me!”
Cordie stomps over and flops down on my other side. “Ugh, it’s been forever since I came out here.”
“You don’t come out here much?”
“No, it’s not the same when you’re not here, and if I get drunk, there’s no one who will help me get home.” She looks at her shoes and hisses. “Ugh, mismatched shoes. I’m going to kill him.”
“Cordie. You aren’t still getting blind drunk, are you?” I ask in alarm.
“Occasionally,” she says with no remorse.
I snigger. “How’s your love life?” I prompt.
“It’s a dumpster fire. Your brother is a cock block or would it be clit block? Eh, whatever he is, he’s making my dry spell a dry decade.”
“You two should just get it out of your system,” Asher says.
Cordie sits up. “You take that back.”
“Nope. I call it as I see it, and the chemistry between the two of you is off the charts.” Asher sticks her nose up in the air, not looking at Cordie.
“It’s not chemistry; it’s loathing.”
“The line between love and loathing is the width of your bikini string.”
“Bite your tongue, you she-devil.”
“So, how come you are out here?” I say to Cordie before they can get into a full-blown yelling match. I’ve seen some doozies between the two of them over the years.
“Ah, well, Devon came over, woke me up, got everything ready, and drove me down; there were threats and some blackmail involved.”
“Devon…did?”
Why does that make me feel so good?
“Yeah, he’s got a charter today. Mack has to work, and Elijah is already up and at the restaurant baking.”
“So, what did you do to make him call us?” Asher asks.
“I may have snuck out of the house.”
“Ah, you big, cowardly omega, you.”
I shove Cordelia. She falls to the side, then drags her pack around in front of her.
“I brought a little fun.”
I don’t know what I was expecting her to pull out of her bag, but a flattened beach ball was not on the list, at all.
“Where’s the booze?”
Cordie sighs heavily. “Devon confiscated it. He says we can drink in safe places or where we have supervision.”
“That cretin!” Asher growls.
I’m half-inclined to agree with her because I absolutely hate being told what to do, but a tiny voice says he’s right. Besides, I have Danger to think about now.
“Why a ball?”
Cordie sighs. “Devon says, and I’m being direct,” she clears her throat and then says in a much deeper, masculine voice, “go and whack something until you feel better.”
I snort a giggle, but then I can’t stop.
“He is very…eloquent with words,” Asher grumbles. “But he is taking care of you, and that’s something to think about.”
“You think I haven’t thought about it? I have to, my heat is coming.”
“We noticed,” they say as one. “You reek.”
I shift uneasily.
“So, you’re going to take them up on their offer,” Asher asks.
“How do you know they offered?”
“Of course, they offered; they are smitten with you.”
I huff. “They are not, and yes, they did. I have to take them up on it.”
“Why aren’t you taking suppressants?” She raises an eyebrow, challenging me.
I shift my weight. “I have reasons.”
“Really? What are those?”
“Let’s play with the ball. I want to whack things, too.” I clap my hands with false enthusiasm.
“Excellent evasive technique,” Asher says dryly. “Do you realise if you’d have just hidden in your room, you wouldn’t have run into any of them?”
“Mum doesn’t know what a lock is.”
“Ah,” Asher says. “Yes, there is that delightful skill she has. The ability to completely disregard privacy while making sure you know you can’t be mad at her about it.”
I look down at the dog in my arms and pat his ears.
“Tell me the gossip,” I say, changing the subject. Asher glares at me, but just when I think she’s going to call me out, she lets it go.
“Cordie has it bad for Sebastian.”
“I DO NOT!”
“My ears,” I whimper.
“I do not love Sebastien Sol. I’d have to be a crazy omega to like him.”
“They have pills for that kind of crazy,” Asher says.
“Shut up!” Cordie gets up and starts pacing. “Sebastian Sol is arrogant, controlling, insensitive, and a brute. He has no tact and just orders me around all the time.”
Asher and I just stare at her.
“Are you aware that your version of Sebastian is not the one we know?” I say to her.
She turns on me with a hiss. “Yes, it is. He’s a monster.”
“He’s actually really sweet. I remember the time he helped your grandma’s friends all go to a dance class. They didn’t have any guys, so he stayed there and danced with all the old ladies. Now, not a single one of them will hear a bad thing against his name.”
“Wow, Asher, you know a lot,” I tease.
“I lurk at street corners, waiting for gossip to creep by. As soon as I see it, I launch myself at it and memorize the ins and outs of Sebastian’s love life just for these such moments.”
“What do you know about Elijah?”
“Elijah? Not much. He’s quiet, a baker, he loves cooking, and more than one omega has proposed to him, but up until he saw you again, he’s been refusing all attempts of women trying to date him.”
“He has?”
“Mmm, Mack, too, for that matter. Pack Hart is the dream pack of every omega in Sunshine. But there’s only one omega they want.”
I swallow hard, refusing to look at Asher and her mocking commentary.
“Just like there’s only one alpha I don’t want,” Cordie snaps.
“Sure,” Asher and I say together.
We burst into laughter, and I pull out the protein bars, handing them out.
“The city wasn’t the same without you two,” I say.
“Here wasn’t the same without you,” Cordie says dryly.
We don’t need to say anything more, and I realise the fear that’s been hounding me is gone.