23. Deacon
Chapter 23
Deacon
LAST DECEMBER
Lena and Finn’s mating ceremony ended without anything eventful happening. My little sister looked radiant in her dress, and when Finn clasped the diamond collar around her neck, the news media finally realized and accepted that a ‘collar’ is not strictly reserved for kinky things but is a deep part of wolf culture.
In interviews following the ceremony, I may have said, ‘Exactly, dogs are like wolves and dogs wear collars,’ as well as, ‘Why would anyone want Finn?’ but I managed to stop myself from saying ‘She shot his last ex.’
After that near miss, I was banished to the pack house’s event space on the bottom floor, where I’ve spent the last almost two hours having drinks and fancy snacks. As daylight transitions to nightfall, it becomes less of a public affair and more of a family one. Finally, people I want to spend time with begin to come down the stairs. The first being Henri. It’s unfortunate, though, that she brought the human equivalent of three koala bears in a trench coat with her.
As expected, after changing out of her ‘work attire’ for something more ‘casual,’ Henri is wearing an oversized dress. It’s belted at her waist but does nothing for her lithe figure. She looks like she’s hiding in the clothes.
Nathan, on the other hand, looks like he couldn’t find anything in his size. Dress shirt too small, it clings to his biceps, and if he reaches too far for something, it’ll probably split across the back like a superhero in a children’s movie. He’s no superhero, but I’ll be the villain of his story.
It’s hard not to notice the way people look at him. It’s a mix of lust-filled glances and skeptical eyebrow raises, and wolves attuned to other predators around them move protectively around the space.
Cade walks up behind me before turning from the room to face me, his voice barely audible. “He’s gotta go. I knew he wasn’t treating her right, but I didn’t realize he’s...” Cade makes a breaking motion with his hands, saying through actions what I’ve been thinking.
“If humans could,” I agree.
Even whispering the word ‘fracture’ in a room packed like this... rumors could start to fly.
I shake my head and look away. “I’ve tried to get her to leave him. She’s...”
“Attached?” Cade offers quickly.
It’s not simple attachment, but if there’s a word for this, I don’t know it. What is it called when a victim bonds to their abuser? Surely a word or phrase exists to describe it, but without it, all I can answer is with a shrug. “Worse.”
I clear my throat, and Cade immediately moves from protective Alpha to the charismatic Cade everyone loves.
“Cade. Where is that lovely bride of yours? I was just telling the wife that Thalia’s been working on the historical society’s new installment, and she’s dying to hear about it,” the governor interjects .
“She’ll be down in a few moments. I’m positive Thalia would be glad to talk about the new installment.” Cade tucks his hand into his pocket, where he’s started to carry at least one tactile toy to fidget with when talking to people he can’t stand.
The number of people mingling, pups running about underfoot, and human adults and children who were invited and turned up is a testament to how well Cade and Lena are doing running things. Seeing how well they’re finally adjusting to it all brings me a sense of peace, like maybe it’s finally time. Cade and Lena are happy and mated, and they have a pack that supports them. I don’t have to be here anymore.
My eyes rove the room, taking in the scene, checking if maybe I’m right and this could be the end of it all.
My eyes keep going back to her.
Henri, standing by one of the seven banquet tables full of food, glances around the room before nearly shoving a Russian tea cake into her mouth and turning back to the banquet line. The behavior is odd. Why would anyone care that she’s eating a cookie?
The longer I watch, the more obvious it becomes.
Henri adds an obscene amount of spring mix salad to her plate before adding fresh fruit next. Anything that isn’t whole foods gets overlooked: stuffing, buns, casseroles and hot dishes, puddings and desserts. I’m stalking her from across the room, and she makes her way down the buffet line and, finally, picks up a protein. It’s a small chicken breast intended for one of the pups. Not that anyone would care that she has one, but my suspicion is quickly confirmed.
Nathan, done flirting with a couple of wolves, comes up to Henri and starts examining her plate.
I can’t hear them over the sound of the room, but I can see his scrutinizing pointing and Henri lowering her head and putting it aside in submissive behavior. I wish I was naive enough to believe he was scolding her because she wasn’t eating enough, but I’m not.
She smiles with appeasement and lets herself be led away to a table.
Curiosity hits, and I watch as Nathan goes through the line. He carries two plates and picks up a wider variety of foods. As anticipated, he takes his plates back to the table and begins to dig in.
I’m simmering with rage.
The number of people giving Nathan the stink eye increases exponentially as the evening progresses. To keep an eye on him, I take to playing paper football with two of the older pups in the pack and let my peripheral vision do some of the work.
I’m about to win when Finn taps me on the shoulder. “We’re taking a walk before Lena and I catch our flight.”
“We’re taking a walk.” I nod and then flick the football through the kid’s upright fingers, scoring the points I needed. “Good game, friends.”
Finn leads me out of the pack’s gathering space in the basement, outside around the far side of the house to the side stairs. Lena’s tucked into the alcove, and I immediately freeze, drawing a small breath. She seems fine, but what’s going on that Finn would have the three of us talk?
“If you don’t kill him, I will,” Lena says quietly.
Ahh. My little sister is feeling murderous.
I tuck my hands in my pockets to hide my clenching fists. “I’m working on some options that will satisfy my desire and, at the same time, keep us safe. ”
“Do it faster,” Lena growls, the sound rising above the level we were talking.
“Faolan.” Finn scolds with an underlying growl.
She shoots him a murderous look, and Finn, to my surprise, falls quiet.
“I’m serious, Deacon. He needs to, at the very least, get the fuck out of her life. But I’ve seen what he’s done...” Lena shakes her head, and when her gaze meets mine, my darkness is reflected in her eyes.
Done to whom? My little sister’s gift of past sight, as much as she hates it, comes in very useful when trying to hold someone’s sins against them.
Her words stir my darkest corners, lifting the hollowness from within me and focusing on him. “What are you suggesting I do?”
“Kill him.”
“Offer her an out.”
Lena and Finn speak at the same time, and it’s my little sister who knows I want the bloodshed.
I look to Finn. “The fact that you think I haven’t offered her an out is really telling of your thoughts on me.”
He may be amazing for Lena but fuck if he doesn’t get on every one of my last nerves sometimes.
“Before you go jumpin’ to conclusions”—Finn keeps a level tone—“offer her one last out, and then, if not, we take care of the threat.”
The way he includes himself in the ‘we’ of taking care of the threat is both frustrating and kind. Finn wants to be family, and he is. His heart is in the right place. But I kill alone. This is my fight. My scum of the earth to torture and kill. My mat... I want to claim her, but it’s impossible. I’m just acting in someone-I-care-about’s best interests.