38. Deacon
Chapter 38
Deacon
“We need to talk,” Finn says, sticking his head out of Cade’s office as I make my way down the hall.
We don’t need to talk, you do. I bite back the smart-ass remark and walk my ass into Cade’s office before I piss off the Alpha wolves used to running the show.
Following Revecca’s instructions is going to kill me. My head is throbbing, and I’m strongly considering the opioids tucked away upstairs in my suite, just to use as painkillers. As soon as the last pill wore off that I took at the airport in Romania and my wolf came back, ancestors started bombarding me nonstop. Their lack of courtesy in not even allowing me to sleep proves that the phrase ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ is the biggest load of shit ever.
Finn doesn’t lead the way into the room. Instead, he closes and locks the door behind us. Apparently, I’m in trouble. Weird since I didn’t start an international incident. Fuck, just get this over with.
Instantly my wolf goes on edge, taking in the situation and readying for the defense. Fight .
He’s been weird inside me. It’s been exhausting trying to fight him back and silence him as he breaks through almost every single one of my thoughts with calls to violence. His uncharacteristic, near-constant need for brutality is starting to feel normal.
Fight back.
I shake my head, brushing off his ideas, and advance to the chairs in front of Cade’s desk. My older brother is resting his head on his palms, pressing the heels against his eyes. It’s not one of his usual stress indicators. I’ve only seen it once before, and that was when Lena was possibly dying.
A pit forms in my stomach, and I tilt my head. “Cade?”
The gravel in my voice hides the fear, kinda, mostly, not at all.
Finn sits next to me, and after a few long seconds, Cade lifts his head from his hands.
“Henri.” Cade says her name, and my jaw twitches. Despite having my full attention already, he still pauses a second longer. “She’s...”
“Henri’s in her office, and it seems she’s been drinking.” Finn keeps his voice low with misplaced concern that it may escape the soundproofing of Cade’s office.
I furrow my eyebrows at them and frown. “That’s not usual.”
“Not usual?” Cade mutters before making his voice clearer. “Fuck, nothing fazes you, does it?”
“I don’t know why you’re still surprised about that.” I answer his rhetorical question but keep myself neutral despite the throbbing in my head, which now matches the thundering of my heart with worry over Henri. “Has anyone talked to her?”
Finn shakes his head.
Blind leading the blind. Why wouldn’t we just speak to the person we’re worried about ?
When I move to stand, Cade’s Alpha command hits me. “Sit down.”
My ass becomes glued to the chair. This is wholly unfair, but I take it, then throw my hand up, gesturing to the door behind me. “If the two of you aren’t going to talk to her, then I will.”
Slumping back in his chair, Cade shakes his head. “She sent me an email stating she’ll keep managing her team remotely, but she would like to work from home for a few weeks.”
Speechless is usually a response I intentionally adopt rather than one I fall into accidentally, but I’m down the rabbit hole, looking for Alice so I can get out of here and storm Nathan’s home like the beaches of Normandy, invading his life to ruin it like he’s done to hers. It doesn’t matter that she no longer lives there. He seems to still have control over her, even after she saved herself and got out.
Grasping at straws, I try calculating why Henri would behave this way while also catching up to where Cade is in the scenario. He’s always one step ahead of most people, and I try to be two steps ahead of him. “Did you approve it?”
Cade shakes his head. “I haven’t answered her request.”
“We obviously don’t want to go that route,” Finn states. “I know she’s upset about leaving Nathan, but from conversations with her and others, this seems to be more than just a breaking-up issue.”
Right, like escaping the years of domestic violence as the main contributing factor. I leave the snark unsaid. Finn’s trying.
“What do you think?” Cade looks for my opinion.
It’s not that he never does, but the only time Cade consults me is when he’s truly out of his depth and is looking for a new perspective.
“You know her best,” Finn affirms .
My wolf thinks about Henri and brings all the happy memories to the surface. She’s ours now.
Drawing a deep breath, I speak past his question. “Let me talk to her first.”
“I’m worried about you.” Cade’s worrying and honesty about it isn’t my favorite thing. “I can feel a difference between you and your wolf. It’s only been a few days you’ve been home, but The Leviathan even...” Cade lets that linger before continuing. “The Leviathan isn’t unsteady about you and what to do with you. It’s the first time since, before...” He struggles to communicate his worries.
“Before I was drugged with the human shit that made me numb but did nothing for my wolf?” I offer, knowing he’s talking about the antipsychotics our ‘father’ shoved down my throat.
My wolf growls at the memories of how it all started. The way I figured out how to silence him.
Finn tenses in his chair as the room crackles with the energy between us.
“I’m sober. I’m trying to stay sober even though it hurts like fucking hell. Revecca says it’s possible to make it easier. She and I worked on getting my wolf under control. But I have bad days. There are even more ancestors here than there were before.” I look over my shoulder at the door where Marielle is watching us. “I don’t think I should have to tell you how hard I’m willing to fight for her.”
Finn nods. “Tell us what you need. We’ll make it happen.”
“Be prepared to have her team work without a lot of supervision for a couple weeks. But I’ll get her cleaned up as fast as I can.” I bob my head in time to the throbbing behind my eyes as I start formulating a plan.
It’s okay. I’m used to holding other people together.
Cade runs his hand back through his hair. “Anything you need. I’m serious, Deacon. If she’s just done and needs a change of jobs or to retire entirely, the fund will cover it.”
Giving her money, a roof over her head, food on the table, and a cozy life isn’t going to fix her problem. But Cade’s generosity is endless, and it makes him a good leader.
“Let me see what I can do.” I don’t make him a promise because I can’t be sure I can fix it.
I’ve never seen Henri drink more than a single glass of champagne at any event.
We need to see her. My wolf and I agree about that, at least.
I spent the first day home jet-lagged and trying to adjust to the massive time difference. It’s not that I didn’t want to see her, but I wasn’t in any shape to do so. She deserves me at my best, more than I am now, but if what they’re saying is true, Henri’s problem is bigger than mine.
Time to get our mate. My wolf gets antsy, pushing me to leave the room and get closer to her.
I don’t blame him. We can’t do anything for her sitting here in Cade’s office.
I toss my head over my shoulder toward the door. “May I?”
Cade purses his lips but gives me a single, tight nod.
Leaving Cade’s office, I head upstairs to pack some things before heading to Henri’s office. There’s a male child playing jacks in the stairwell, and I sigh at seeing yet another ancestor.