58. Deacon
Chapter 58
Deacon
We pull up into the departures lane of Salt Lake City Airport, and I hop out of the car, grabbing Henri’s and my bags from the back before helping Henri out.
It was perhaps bold of me to assume she’d ask me to go with her. But I’m glad I bet on it enough to put my bags in this SUV.
Henri’s wolf floods her eyes. She’s jumpy and winces at the loud noises, cars, and bustling people walking around.
“Are you okay?” I try to judge her reaction.
“Yeah. Little overwhelmed.” Her voice starts at a whine. “But I’ll be okay.”
Henri believes the words she says. But I’m not sure I believe them. I shuffle our bags into one hand and wrap my arm around her.
My wolf, not held quite far enough down, approves of me pulling her close and guiding her through the people. The minute the doors open to the check-in desks and the TSA lines, Henri loses it .
“No. I can’t.” She backs up, pushing against my arm, heading toward the door.
Her wolf is completely freaking out, pushed forward in her eyes.
“Okay.” I move with her back out into the open air. “It’s okay. Shhh.”
Ushering her away from the crowds, I guide us down to a quieter section of the sidewalk. I pull out my phone and dial the Corinth Security emergency number.
“Deacon?” Cade questions, answering the phone.
“Can you turn my security detail around? We’ve an issue. I’m going to need to drive back to Minnesota. Not fly.” I thread my fingers into Henri’s, hoping the touch calms her wolf.
“On it. Want the help driving?” Cade offers, and I know I should take it.
Fuck, I should stick Henri in an SUV with a human driver and not risk the danger of the two of us alone together.
“No,” Henri whines, and it’s a breathy objection. “I can’t handle other people. I’m messing everything up. I’m so sorry.”
“No driver. It’ll be safer with what’s going on if I do it myself.” I agree with Henri to him over the phone.
“Okay. I’ll get them turned around,” Cade says before hanging up the phone.
Henri jumps when a horn honks down the road.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m not normally like this. The people and it hurts and...”
“Shhh.” I tuck my phone back into my pocket so I can run my fingers back through her hair. “It’s okay. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. But I’m going to do everything I can to get you home where you’ll feel safe for this.”
Henri nuzzles against my hand, and I rub against her a little bit, the touch calming her down.
It takes ten more minutes and near-constant reassuring touches, which I’m committing to memory to sustain me until I no longer have to suffer this earth, before the security vehicle comes rolling back toward us. The driver, without question, pulls a go bag out of the back and hands over the key fob for the push-start vehicle. I load our bags back in, and we’re on our way out of the airport and cruising.
Traffic thins out as we leave Salt Lake City, and Henri relaxes. The drive starts to get more comfortable, and maybe, just maybe, with her relaxed, it’ll slow her heat, and we’ll make it to Minnesota in time.
It’s almost nineteen hours without stops, and I know we’ll have to take a night unless I can find some sort of uppers. But I’m guessing the amount of illegal drug sales in Wyoming is limited, and I don’t have time to find a dealer.
I’ll need at least four hours of sleep. That’s twenty-three hours total.
We’re racing against a clock. She’s already having hot flashes and cramps. Those will only get worse, and the number of miles before we’re both fighting for control is limited.
“We’re going to have to stop for a night.” I glance over at Henri, where she’s sitting in the passenger seat, hopefully trying to think not-heat-inducing thoughts.
“Okay.” Her voice holds a note of uncertainty.
“I’ll need four hours of sleep. And I think it’s probably best if we do that tonight rather than waiting for tomorrow night.” I try to explain my logic.
“That makes the most sense,” Henri says. She pulls both feet up, tucking them under herself on the seat. “I’m sorry about this. I bet you’d rather be back celebrating with your family. This was a big win and... I’m sorry.”
The devastating regret in her voice pulls at every single one of my heartstrings.
Comforting her, I take my right hand off the steering wheel and pick up one of hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll see Ansel at Solstice. He’s going to get some news that might be easier for him to process if I’m not there.”
“Oh?” Henri squeezes my hand back. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s not my place.”
“It’s going to come out when we update the pack registry anyway.” I clench my jaw before I let the words out. “Whoever...” That doesn’t feel like the right way to say this; it’s not fair to either of us. “Ansel and I are half siblings. I met our mother when I was in Romania. I’m not planning on telling him that tidbit because she’s pretty much comatose. But it might be easier on Ansel if he can just have a minute to process before seeing me again.”
Henri doesn’t say anything.
A knot forms in my stomach. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s gonna be a hard one for you and Kyle to spin. At least everyone loves Ansel after all the news coverage.”
“No. It’s not that. I was trying that thing Cade does when he waits you out until you spill all the secrets.” She squeezes my hand harder. I can’t tell if it’s a cramp or just overcompensating for her words. “I was more wondering how you felt about it? I don’t know Ansel at all, really, other than what I’ve learned in those letters and interviews, but it seems like you lived very different lifestyles.”
“Yeah.” I comfort myself by running my thumb back and forth across the back of her hand. “I’ve hidden it from Cade and Lena, but I’ve known I wasn’t an Alden for a long time. There were a lot of inconsistencies in my life that didn’t make sense. But I feel incredibly guilty for growing up in a mansion knowing he didn’t.”
“Do you think Ansel would want you to feel guilty?” Henri’s voice softens, and her question causes a tightness in my chest. “Based on what I’ve learned, I don’t think so.”
She’s right. I know she is.
I draw a breath, and the tightness dissipates. “He’s complicated. Ansel will never hold it against me, and he’ll take the information with a nod and a shrug and move on. Who you are, by blood or on paper, has never mattered to Ansel. Which makes the fact that he’s weirded out by his mate being his best friend’s kid kind of funny and a little contradictory... but then again, that’s the sort of thing that I think we would all question.”
“I... Do you worry about what we are to each other?” Henri shakes her head.
I turn my head away from her, pretending to check the side mirror and blind spot. “No, Henri. I don’t. The reality is, our lives are linked, and while I don’t wish my burden on anyone else, it’s not... If I can’t get us home in time...”
“Do you want us?” Henri’s voice is strange.
It isn’t a tone I’m used to hearing, and I can’t place it.
Apprehension? my wolf offers, but I don’t voice it. She’s going to be ours. Quit drugging me and show her, he demands. Show her how much we want her.
But I know the truth. I’m not going to be able to stay drunk enough to keep him under and drive. Our fate together, as mates, is going to get abundantly clear very soon.
“I’ve wanted you more than I’ve wanted anything.”
“Okay.” Henri draws a ragged breath. “We’ll figure it out.”
It pains me that she won’t voice similar feelings, but I can’t force or expect her to embrace complex emotions during her heat. The reality is her body is going through hell and demanding so much of her energy that nothing can be trusted as reality.
A little dark spot in my soul wrinkles. She is feeling it, isn’t she?