Chapter 4
Brynn
(SmokinLady)
The wedding festivities kicked off one week before 420 day just as promised on the two-page itinerary that Ant’s fiancée emailed the wedding party. She had chartered a twenty-passenger bus to transport us from Chicago to Michigan wineries. The day before we were notified of the meet up spot at Soldier Field that sat on one of Chicago’s busiest streets … Lake Shore Drive.
I arrived before most of the wedding party and friends started to pour in with their wives, husbands, or girlfriends. My thoughts were clear—to get on the bus first to select a good seat and try to avoid the likes of Crimson. I must admit that day I saw him at the lake with Miss Boogie brought back so many memories.
He’d gotten taller, finer, and his goatee seemed to have grown in fuller since our college days. Standing at what seemed like six feet, lean, muscular body, ripped abs, and skin the color of toffee candy made my legs buckle.
Jesus, why am I still attracted to him?
I still remembered how he used to brush the sides of his face and buy those hair growing chemicals from the beauty supply store to try to grow a full beard.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I’d done it again by allowing my brain to think of all the stupid quirks of Crimson.
At first glance, I didn’t recognize him on the pier, but as I got closer, my heart rate pumped a little faster and I’m sure my eyes almost bulged out the sockets. I’d always wondered how I would feel if I saw him again after that day … when I caught him banging my roommate.
However, standing there face to face with my secret crush, none of those cuss words I’d rehearsed came out. And that beat down I promised myself I would give him fainted at my fingertips. All I could do was stare and accept the realization that I’d missed him.
“Damn,” I muttered, feeling frustrated with myself. Never did I think I’d actually tell him the reason I cut off our communication and vowed to never look back on our time together. The words kind of spilled out of my mouth like flowing water that night. It was heart wrenching to keep carrying around this secret that I had never told anyone.
However, it would’ve been even better if I could’ve confessed my deep, dark secrets to Crim and then in return never saw him again. But the fact remained—he hurt me in a way that I didn’t think could ever be mended. Granted, he had no clue that I loved him in a way that went beyond a friendship.
“Hey, Brynn.”
Nodding at a few old college friends boarding the bus, I slumped down in my two-seater. Most people had their significant others with them, and I was taking this trip solo. I hadn’t dated anyone serious in a few years. I’d been on a few dates, but those relationships never went anywhere. It was hard to find someone who could accept my love for marijuana. Most people thought I was joking when I told them a few guys has ditched me on dates when they found out my profession, but it was true. Men thought they wanted a woman who could hang with them, but in reality, they didn’t. And I hated to admit it, but none of those men had given me the butterflies like Crim did.
Closing my eyes, I realized why I poured myself into my work. And when my pot blog followers grew, I set dating to the side.
Now, at thirty-four, marriage and kids were out of the cards for me, but truthfully, I’d never truly seen myself as a mother. I somehow still remembered how much Crimson wanted a family. He used to always tell me how he never felt loved by anyone and wanted to have a wife, kids, and the big house on a farm.
Why did that pop in my head now?
Sighing, I rubbed my forehead and turned around to see most of the bus had filled up with Ant and his fiancée’s family and friends, but the seat next to me was still vacant.
Moaning, I almost threw up in mouth when I noticed everyone was coupled up and the fact hit me hard that I’d have to sit on a bus with Crim. My stomach flopped.
“Rob,” I called when I saw my friend climb onto the bus.
“What up, Brynn?”
Smiling, I said, “Nothing. You want to sit here?”
He sucked his teeth and glanced over his shoulder at a tall, leggy woman standing behind him. “I want you to meet my girl,” he announced with a lopsided grin.
Stifling a scream, I introduced myself, “I’m Brynn.”
She smiled at me, and Rob confessed, “This my homegirl I been telling you about. We go way back.”
The girl nodded.
“Catch you later, B,” Rob said and strolled down the aisle with the woman behind him.
Snatching my favorite fleece blanket from my lap, I brought it to my mouth to yell. It seemed that I couldn’t even sell the seat next to me. The last thing I wanted was to be on this bus all single and looking pathetic.
“B.”
Turning, I watched as Rob sent me a thumbs-up and hollered out, “We’re about to turn up.”
I couldn’t help but shake my head at him. It had been a while since I’d heard my nickname being said out loud. Back in college, Crim gave me the name, after one of our smoke nights. I was high as hell when I got up off the floor in his apartment and started dancing. I threw my hips so hard to the left, right, and fell in his lap in a mass of giggles. He told me that I was like a bee that buzzed around him, and no matter where life took us, I’d always be his lil Busy Bee.
Little did he know that stuck with me throughout life, and before long the nickname caught on with Rob and Ant and filtered to our other friends who hung in our group.
It was special to me that he saw me in that way. That day, I was more convinced than ever that he wanted what I wanted …. to be together.
Until I saw him step onto the bus with that pretty ass smile only, he possessed. And I knew he would only see me as B, his best friend. He glanced up the aisle and held the strap on this duffle bag hanging from his shoulder.
Lawd,I thought. All I wanted to do in this moment was melt into the leather cushions of the seats when his eyes land on mine. My first thought was to throw my oversized purse, book, and tablet in the seat next to me, but I was too slow when Ant got on behind him and yelled, “Let the party begin.”
Everyone clapped, cheered, and whistled for the engaged couple boarding.
“Hey, Crim, there’s a seat next to B,” Rob shouted out in his baritone voice from the back of the bus.
Dropping my head to the grey stained floor, I prayed to be invisible. It wasn’t like most of the people on this bus didn’t know mine and Crim’s history. Shiiit, most of them knew we were inseparable in college and then one day we weren’t. So, I didn’t even turn around, because I knew all eyes were on us, and just like I thought Crim took the bait when he flopped down beside me, slapping hands with Ant.
I literally jumped out of my seat when my cell phone rang. Thanking God for the distraction, I answered immediately.
“Hello.”
“Hey, baby.”
“Momma, is that you?” I asked, frowning.
“Yeah, Brynn. You stopped screening your calls.”
“Oh no,” I said, whispering and scooting my body closer to the window to not touch Crim as he chatted it up with the boys.
“Why do you sound like I caught you in a fright? Is everything okay?”
Banging my head lightly against the window, I said, “Everything is good, Momma.” I knew she could be longwinded.
“Oh, is that Ms. Tyson?” Crim asked next to me.
I instantly covered the mic and whispered, “Shut up.”
“Baby, who’s that?”
“Um … nobody.”
“Little girl don’t lie to me,” she said.
Exhaling, I revealed, “That’s Crimson.”
“Your best friend from college?” she asked a little too chipper.
“Yes and no, Momma.”
“I don’t know what that means but tell him I said hi.”
Knowing my mother wouldn’t let it go until I delivered her message, I turned my head toward Crim, and to my surprise he was staring right in my face with an intense gaze that caused me to lean my head backwards.
“Ummm m-my mom said hi,” I stated nervously.
He yelled into the receiver, “Hi, Ms. Tyson. I hope I get to see you soon.”
“Sure, baby,” my mother crooned. “I’ll be at the wedding.”
“Momma, he can’t hear you.”
“Well tell him what I said, chile.”
Groaning, I lifted my eyes toward the ceiling. “She said she’ll see you at the wedding, Crim.”
“Baby, I don’t know why you two didn’t end up together,” she said, chewing in my ear. “When you brought him home your sophomore year in college, I could see how much y’all cared for each other. Oh lawd.” The phone went silent, then she was back chewing again. “Chile, I knocked a neckbone on the floor.”
“Okay, Momma, I got to go; it’s getting too loud in here. Oops, I’m losing you. Hello, hello, hello? Talk to you later. Bye.”
I hung up after she kept saying hello several times and then she screamed to call her later. I had to get Ms. Nosey off the phone. She was about to do what she had done since I told her that Crim and I were no longer friends. When I came home from college, she grilled me for six months about what happened between us. After I refused to tell her or even to talk about it, she reluctantly moved on from badgering me about him.
Yet, my mother knew that I was in love with Crim. There wasn’t much I could keep from her. She said it to me one day when I was sitting at the kitchen table eating my morning cereal after graduation. I couldn’t lie to her and tell her I didn’t, so I just dropped my head toward my bowl and kept spooning the cornflakes in my mouth until it was too full to answer her.
“How’s mom?”
“What?” I asked lifting my head from my cell phone.
“Mom.” He pointed at my phone. “How is she?”
“Oh, she’s good,” I said nonchalantly and slightly turned my body toward the window.
“Ha. I won’t bite, B.” He laughed. “If you scoot over any closer to that window, you might tip out of it.”
I grinned. “Whatever. You might have flees.”
“Ouch.” He tensed his body. “Damn, you came out of the gates firing on your boy.”
Smacking my lips and rolling my eyes, I turned back toward the window as the bus driver pulled out of the empty lot and merged onto 94 East heading toward Indiana.
Ant tapped Crim on the shoulder and passed him a three-ounce tequila bottle. “Hey, B, I got wine coolers and wine in the cooler back there for you.”
Nodding, I placed my AirPods in my ears on purpose so Crim wouldn’t bring up the conversation we had a week ago about what I revealed to him. I wanted to avoid it as long as I could. Because God forbid, he’d then figured out my secret. What would I say to that? I’d be completely exposed, and I didn’t think I was ready to face him telling me he only seen me as his friend or one of the guys.
Thumbing through my apps on my phone, I went to Spotify and punched in my favorite downloaded list. Before long, the conversation Crim and the boys were having faded in the distance as “Hello” by Adeleplayed through my pods and I drifted off to sleep.
* * *
I’m notsure at what moment I stirred awake, but my nose was itching, and my face felt like it was against something rough and rigid. I blinked once and then again at grey leather staring back at me vertically. My head was lying against something, and when I raised slightly, I panicked.
These are blue jeans, but whose jeans? And my head is in someone’s lap. But whose lap? I thought as I raised my head more to peek at my culprit. I damn near lost it when I realized who it was. “Crimson, what the hell?” I yelled.
Most of the people who were sleeping woke in a fright, and the ones who weren’t stopped talking and looked at me.
“Oh shit! I’m sorry, everyone. I’m tripping,” I said, digging in my purse that was sitting next to the window. “Sometimes I forget where I’m at.”
Ant narrowed his eyes at me like he knew my ass was lying, and Crim had this sexy ass smirk that I wanted to smack off his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Why would you let me sleep on your lap?”
“Why not?” he responded, smiling. “You were sleeping and fell over on me. It ain’t like you have never slept in my lap, B.”
I frowned. “That shit was a long time ago.” I brought my voice to a whisper. “And stop calling me B dammit.”
“We need to talk when we get off this bus, B.”
Huffing, I shook my head. “No, we don’t. There’s nothing to talk about. You coaxed that out of me that night and I didn’t want to tell.” I glanced out the window to see if I could see a road sign to show me where we were at.
“You don’t think I deserve the right to defend myself?” he asked, leaning closer to me.
Shrugging, I kept looking for one of those green signs that sits on the highway. “Why do you want to explain yourself to me?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at the road.
Bingo, I thought when a road sign appeared in the distance. As I began to stretch my neck forward to get a better view of the board, Crimson grabbed ahold of my chin with his index and thumb and turned my head around to stare at him.
“Because I want you back in my life,” was what he said as my eyes betrayed me and drifted downward to his perfectly shaped mouth.
Geesh. I remembered how I used to sit up all night back in college talking to my roommate about how I imagined Crim’s lips against mine. To add to my naughty thoughts, I wanted to feel his lips against my skin as he ran his tongue down the center—
“Brynn,” he uttered. “Did you hear me?”
Snapping from my thoughts, I removed my chin from his grasp and focused on sliding my laptop out of my bag that was sitting between my legs. “I need to check my emails,” I told him as I hit the power button.
“Hey, lovely folks,” the bus driver announced on the intercom, “we will be in Fennville, Michigan in twenty minutes.”
As I waited for my computer to go through it’s log on routine, Crim scooted closer to me, and I retreated closer to the window. If I went any farther, I would have definitely tumbled out the window.
“Why are you so close, Crim?” I asked as my breath hitched.
“I’ve been this close to you before and it was fine, so what’s the problem now?”
“Because everything is different now. How many times I have to keep telling you that?” I side-eyed him. “We ain’t in college anymore, and we haven’t been around each other in years. It’s awkward now.” I wiggled my shoulders to demand for him to give me some space.
“Well, the way I see it,” he sucked his teeth, “we’re going to be out here for two days, and at some point, you’ll have to give me what I want.” He set a hand on my leg, and I shivered. “You know how I operate, B, ain’t nothing changed. I’m still the self-centered bastard who’s use to getting what he wants.”
He held my gaze when he mumbled for only me to hear, “It’s been too damn long, and I want my best friend back.”
His words radiated through every bit of my veins. After all this time, how could I still feel this way about him? For me, nothing had changed. I still felt that electric pull linking us together, telling me that we belonged together. The only bad part of it was I was the only one having those feelings.
Not knowing how to respond to his last request, I logged into my email after I connected to my phone Wi-Fi as the bus came to a screeching halt at Fennville Hotel amp; Suites. Ant had distracted Crim with assisting him and some of the other guys to haul the luggage off the bus for the women.
Bolded was an email from my boss, Edward. Sighing, I clicked on the message, and as promised he had emailed me a list of farms and cannabis centers that I could do my 4/20 column on. I slapped my forehead. I had almost forgotten that the day was quickly approaching. The wedding and Crimson had me to damn preoccupied.
Massaging the back of my neck, my eyes ran down the list of ten companies he had listed, and I narrowed in on the one highlighted in yellow…
“Cromwell Cultivation Center,“ I whispered, and then glanced around to make sure no one heard me. Thankfully, everyone was gathering their stuff and Crim had already deboarded the bus.
I read the message Edward had written: Brynn, here is the list I think you should consider for your 4/20 review. I highlighted the Cromwell Center because it has top reviews, but as of late it seems some negative press came out on the new owner, Crimson. His reviews on the pot blogs are declining, and I know one review from you could boost their sales. I met the young man once and he’s a real solid dude. (lol) However, it’s your choice, but please have something to me by the end of the week to review and post.
Frowning, I opened a new tab in my window screen and went to Google to search Crimson Cromwell. Just as Edward stated there were a few blogs out there dragging Crim’s name through the mud. One blog said Jordan was too good for him and he was a liar and a cheating dog. Opening another tab, I searched for Jordan Steele and there was a video. Pressing play, she appeared on screen at a press conference she had only a few hours ago. She wiped at a few forced tears and whined about how devasted she was to find out that Crimson still held a flame for his ex and how she was a fool for staying with him.
“Wow.” I sucked in a breath and held a hand to my mouth. This chick was good with the fake tears and damsel act she betrayed.
Slamming my screen closed, I screamed, “Shit,” as I rubbed a hand through my hair and glanced out the window to see Crim horseplaying with Rob and Ant.
“This ain’t good,” I mumbled. “This shit definitely ain’t good,” I repeated as I slung my purse over my shoulder and gathered the rest of my belongings to exit the bus.
“I need a blunt.”