Chapter 7
Crimson
It was three days before 4/20, and after the wedding festivity trip I had taken with the guys, Brynn and I had become inseparable. Right after we returned to Chicago, I met her at her place and we stayed holed up in there for days, making love and catching up on all the years we had missed. Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ became our pastime. We laughed at old reruns of Different World, argued over who would win the presidential race.
She even went through some of the boxes that were mailed to me after my father had died. I never opened them, but Brynn took the time to go through each box that was stacked in a corner in my living room. There is where I discovered baby pictures of me, my first tooth that fell out, and a few grammar school recital programs.
My heart swelled to see that although Jesse wasn’t around physically, he had always been there in the shadows. Not only did he have all these monumental moments of my life, but he also left me a letter, written a week before his death.
Dear Crimson,
I know you probably hate me, but please don’t, son. I know you have so many questions about why I wasn’t around. I can blame a lot of things for that, but the truth is I should’ve been there no matter how others felt. I had hurt so many people along the way in my life … first my wife, Linda, your mother and you, my son. They say a man can spend a lifetime trying to right his wrongs, and I hoped I had that time with you, but God had other plans for me. I knew I had cancer for a while but decided to keep it a secret. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or treat me differently, so I hid it. Only you know this. The farm is yours; I know you’ll do great things with it and create generational wealth. Lastly, I love you, Crimson. I never told you that, but I do, son. More than you’ll ever know. Please know you were not a mistake; I loved your mother, but I was in a messed-up situation. I won’t go into the details, but please find it in your heart to forgive me, and your mother.
Your father,
Jesse
Brynn handed me an old picture that was ripped at the end and wrinkled. Turning it over, I took a hard swallow to force back the tears that watered my eyes. It was a picture of Jesse holding me at the hospital when I was born.
It all made sense now, the dreams of him appearing at the foot of my bed asking me to do something that were freaking me out. Like I said before, I never stayed in the dream long enough to figure it out, but this was it. He wanted me to find these pictures and the letter.
That day, I had a newfound look on life. It lifted a lot of hatred I was carrying around in my heart.
As the days went on with Brynn, we took long walks around downtown, ate at some of our favorite restaurants, and at night she read to me. Like she did back in college, she curled up in my lap, while I stroked her hair as she read me some of her work she’d been working on for years.
B was a talented writer, all she needed was to believe in herself and someone to rally in her corner. I planned on being all of that for her.
Today, I was meeting her at her office for lunch. I had just returned from the farm, and I had lost three more vendors from the rumors circling around about me. Brynn had to stop me several times from picking up the phone and giving Jordan a piece of my mind. She was right when she said I could do more damage by being recorded.
Deciding to let it go, I exited the elevator with flowers in hand. This was something I always wanted to do for that special woman in my life. A young girl sat at the front desk.
“I’m here to see B, I mean Brynn Tyson.”
She smiled. “Your name?”
“Crimson Cromwell.”
“Oh, she’s expecting you, go right on in.”
Nodding, I rounded the half corner to find Brynn sitting inside of a glass office, with her legs propped up on a mahogany desk, her hair pulled up on the top of her head in a messy bun, while she talked on the phone, leaning back in her chair.
I loved seeing her at work. This was what she talked about when we were in college; how she wanted her own office, and how she wanted a career that had something to do with marijuana. She did it, she actually fucking did it.
She spotted me and waved me inside.
“Hey, Charles, I’ll call you back, but I need you to make my job easy by having good product. … Yeah, I hear you. Okay, I got to run.”
She hung up, stood, and walked around her desk to embrace me in a tight hug.
“Hey, baby,” I said, giving her a peck on the lips. “These are for you.” I handed her the bouquet of flowers.
She brought them to her nose and inhaled. “Thanks, baby.”
“What you up to?” I asked, flopping down in one of the chairs that sat in front of the desk and crossing my legs.
Smiling, she eyed me seductively.
“Cool out, B,” I warned her, knowing the look she was giving me. “We’re in your office.”
“So?” she responded, moving toward me. “Why you got to look and smell so damn good?”
“I can look ugly,” I chuckled.
“No you can’t,” she said. “Not even on your bad days.”
Laughing, I shooed her away with my hand. “You’re going to get fired, with your horny ass.”
She huffed, kicking off her heels.
Feeling my manhood stirring awake, I hopped from my chair and put up two karate chops with my hands. “Girl, don’t come no closer.”
We both bellowed.
“Mr. Cromwell.”
Lifting my gaze, I said, “Edward Windham.”
“Did I interrupt anything?” He glanced at me and back at Brynn.
“Oh no,” she said, sliding her heels back on. “We go way back. Just horseplaying around, that’s all. What can I do for you?” Brynn asked with a serious gaze. Her demeaner had changed drastically. She seemed uncomfortable, more on guard.
“You didn’t tell me you were acquainted with the Cromwells,” he said.
She waved him off. “It never came up,” she said, shuffling some papers on her desk around.
Edward was a friend of my father’s, and after his death, he’d reached out to offer his condolences. He stopped by the farm a few times to take a tour, but something was off about the dude, and I got the feeling Brynn saw it, too.
“Well, I wanted to stop by to ask about the 4/20 column. I guess you took my advice and decided to do one on the Cromwell Cultivation Center.”
I lifted my gaze to stare at Brynn, and she stared back at me.
“Actually,” she began, “I haven’t decided yet on who I’ll rate this year.”
“Oh, I see’” Edward massaged his chin. “I just assumed—”
“Is there anything else I can help you with?” Brynn interjected.
“Nope,” he said. “But I do need something on my desk in two days.”
“You’ll have it,” she assured him.
He gave her a once over and left.
The look he gave her had me boiling on the inside. It was one that a man gives a woman he wants for a night. That shit wasn’t happening because I’d break Edward’s face before I let him get close. But right now, I had a question for Brynn. “Was my farm on your list for a review?”
She kept moving around papers on her desk and answered, “Yes.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” I folded my arms across my chest.
She shrugged. “I don’t know, I haven’t made up my mind who I was going to choose.”
“Really, Brynn?” I asked. “We’ve spoken about the struggles I been facing with my vendors since that video came out.”
“I saw it,” she confessed.
Narrowing my eyes, I asked, “When?”
“The first day we were on the bus heading to the winery.”
“And you didn’t say anything to me?”
“What did you want me to say?” she yelped. “Look, just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t mean I have to let you into my work affairs.”
“Wow.” I reared back on my shoes. “You know I’m on the brink of losing my damn farm and you could have at least mentioned you were considering me.”
“Oh.” She looked up at me. “Is that why you came to my tent that night to ask me to choose your farm to do my 4/20 column?”
Before I could answer, she went on, “I knew this shit wasn’t going to work. You’re using me to get your vendors back?”
“What?” I asked. “I haven’t even mentioned my farm to you. But you, on the other hand,” I pointed in her direction, “have been keeping secrets. How the hell did you know about my vendors? Because I didn’t mention it to you.”
“It’s public knowledge, Crim.”
“Right.” I pounded my fist in my hand. “Check this out … since you want to keep secrets and shit, don’t call me. Do you, and I’ll do the same.”
She stared at me with those big, brown eyes and I almost retracked everything I had just said. She didn’t speak for a few seconds. Then, she walked around her desk and right up to my face. “If you leave out that door, Crimson, you might as well keep on walking because I’ll never let you back in my life again.”
Her message was clear; she didn’t leave any room for doubt or a misunderstanding. Now I had a choice to make as I stared down at my lover and most importantly my best friend.
The thought crossed my mind that I could lose her forever this time. Was I ready to let that happen or was I going to see this through and work it out? I’d never been good at staying around for things. In fact, I’d run at the first sign of trouble. I wanted to stay but she lied to me. She didn’t even have my back, and I decided to tell her that.
“How can I trust someone who keeps secrets from me?” I rubbed my beard and added. “It ain’t even about the review, it’s about everything else. How you haven’t fully opened up to me or let me in to your life, in ways that I’ve begged you to do for days. For that reason alone, I’m leaving.”
She stared at me with a faraway gaze I’ve never seen before. It damn near frighten me to make this type of decision. But this was who I was … a straight shooter, a kiss and tell type of man. When she didn’t speak, I turned and left.