Chapter 3 #4
“So, I started coming home less because leaving you every time got harder. Then I started answering less because talking to you made me wanna hop on the next flight back to Bellhaven.” I finally looked at him.
“I was scared that if I kept letting myself miss you that much, I was gonna give up everything I left for.”
His eyes stayed on mine. “I never asked you to do that.”
“I know.”
“Then why the fuck you ain’t trust me enough to let me be part of the decision?”
The question hurt because I didn’t have an answer that made what I’d done any better. “Because I didn’t trust myself.” Smoke’s brow tightened as I continued, “You didn’t have to ask me to come home.” My voice cracked, and I hated it. “That was the whole problem. I would’ve come anyway, Smoke.”
For a few seconds, neither of us said anything. I wiped at my face and looked away because I suddenly felt stupid standing in his beautiful house crying over decisions I’d made eight years ago.
“I loved you so much that I didn’t know how to love you and still choose myself. I thought one of those things had to lose, and I was twenty-two and scared that if I chose you, I would wake up one day resenting you for a life you never even asked me to give up.”
Smoke moved closer. “So you made the choice for both of us.”
“Yes.”
“That shit fucked me up, Lacey.”
“I know.”
“Nah.” He stopped in front of me. “You don’t know.” I looked up at him. “I called yo’ ass ‘til I felt stupid doin’ it. I sent you that last text and asked you just to tell me if you was done wit’ me.” His jaw flexed. “You couldn’t even give a nigga that.”
Tears filled my eyes again. “I know, and I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I ain’t need you to stay in Bellhaven.” His voice dropped. “I needed you not to forget me, remember?” That hurt worse than anything else he had said. I nodded because there wasn’t an excuse left to give him. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and he instantly closed the space between us, kissing me.
The first touch of his mouth had me grabbing the front of his shirt as he backed me against the wall.
The second his body pressed into mine, I knew this was probably a bad idea.
We had just spent all that time arguing about eight years of shit we clearly weren’t over, and fucking wasn’t going to solve any of it.
I knew that, but then his tongue slid against mine, and he groaned into my mouth, and I stopped giving a damn.
“Fuck,” he breathed against my lips.
His hands moved down my waist and grabbed my ass, pulling me tighter against him.
I moaned and held onto his shirt as everything I remembered about being with him started coming back.
Smoke had been the first man to learn my body, and apparently eight years hadn’t made me forget what his hands felt like either.
He pulled my top over my head and got my bra off before his mouth moved down my neck. I leaned my head back against the wall as he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth. “Oh, my God.” My fingers tightened against him when he groaned around it.
Smoke dropped to his knees and pulled my pants and panties down together.
I stepped out of them, and seeing him between my legs had me wet before he even touched me.
He wasn’t the same twenty-four-year-old man I had left and when his beard rubbed against the inside of my thigh before his tongue flicked my clit, none of that mattered anymore.
“Oh, fuck…” I leaned back against the wall while his tongue moved over my pussy. He sucked my clit into his mouth, and my knees damn near gave out.
“Mmm. Still taste the same,” he groaned against my pussy.
I grabbed the back of his head as he worked my clit with his tongue and pushed two fingers inside me. “Smoke, oh, my God.” My hips started moving against his face, and I couldn’t even pretend I had control over what the hell I was doing anymore.
The fucked up part was that he still knew exactly what worked. There was no awkwardness and no trying to figure out what I liked now. He curled his fingers inside me, sucked my clit harder, and had my legs shaking way too fucking fast.
“I’m gonna... oh shit... oh shiiiit!”
Smoke tightened his hold on my thigh and kept going until I came.
My pussy clenched around his fingers while I cried out his name and held onto him.
I didn’t think about Tyler, my engagement, or anything waiting for me back in L.A.
I couldn’t think about shit. He stood and kissed me before I had fully caught my breath.
I tasted myself on his mouth as I reached for his belt and opened it with shaky hands.
“I fuckin’ missed you,” he groaned against my mouth.
My hands slowed. I didn’t know if he meant he missed fucking me or if he meant me, and I wasn’t about to ask right then. I pushed his pants and boxers down and wrapped my hand around his dick instead. “I missed you too.” I hadn’t planned on saying it, but once it was out, I couldn’t take it back.
Smoke groaned and pressed his forehead against mine while I stroked him.
He eventually caught my wrist and reached for his wallet, pulling out a condom.
I watched him tear the wrapper open and roll it down his dick.
Seeing him put it on should’ve been the point where I came to my senses, but I was already too far gone.
Smoke grabbed the backs of my thighs and lifted me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my mouth fell open when he pushed inside me. “Oh, my God…” Tyler’s dick hadn’t been anywhere near as big as this and my body needed a minute to take him.
Smoke groaned against my neck as he pushed the rest of the way in. “Fuck, Lace.”
I held onto his shoulders while I adjusted to the size. Having him inside me again felt too damn good, and I wasn’t about to ruin it by thinking about what any of this meant. Smoke started fucking me with slow, deep strokes before that control disappeared too.
“Yeah, I know,” he said against my neck. “Ain’t nobody been hittin’ this pussy the way I can.”
“Sherrod…” He changed the angle and hit the same spot again, making my nails dig into his shoulders.
“Eight fuckin’ years, and this pussy still knows exactly what the fuck to do, huh?”
My back rubbed against the wall while I tightened my legs around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I had been with somebody else. I had fallen in love, gotten engaged, and planned to marry another man. None of that stopped me from wanting Smoke right then, and I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do with that. Smoke adjusted his grip beneath my thighs and fucked me deeper.
“Oh, my Godddd! Right there! Right… there!” My body tightened as another orgasm started building. “Shiiiitttt!!!”
His mouth moved close to my ear. “I swear to God, I fuckin’ missed you.” This time, I knew he wasn’t just talking about sex.