Epilogue
Like a phoenix, the best parts of you come from the ashes of your past.
DeShawn
Five Years Later
“It’s almosttime to go, Rezi,” I screamed up the stairs of our new house.
“You can’t rush perfection,” she replied, still out of view.
“Baby, you always look gorgeous.” As I tapped the watch on my wrist, the doorbell dinged in the distance.
Before I could reach the front door, I heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet rushing to beat me.
“Ha, I win!” Nola yelped, hitting the door.
I’d slowed to let her beat me, loving the excitement on her little face when she won.
“Nice work.” I scooped her up into my arms before opening the door, seeing my mother’s face beaming from the other side. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, baby,” she cooed, greeting Nola first.
Since adopting Nola, I’d learned a hard lesson—whenever my daughter was around, my greetings would always come secondary, if at all.
“Hi, son,” she squeezed out before Nola grabbed her hand.
“Come on, Grandma! I’ve got a lot to show you,” she screeched.
My mom barely got off her shoes before she was being whisked away toward Nola’s playroom.
“Oh! And, Dad, Mom told me to tell you that …” Nola stopped in her tracks, tapping her chin with her free hand, while the other remained locked with my mother’s. Her mind worked to recall the words she wanted to say. “Oh right, you should never rush a lady.”
Good Lord, she’s three going on fifteen. Proof I’d have two Rezis to deal with pretty soon here. A possibility I never saw coming but was beyond grateful for.
Over the past five years there were so many times I’d needed to pinch myself to prove it was all real. Watching turtles hatch on the coast of the Australian Great Barrier Reef with Rezi. The two of us volunteering in Ecuador, while shooting a documentary that got me nominated for the Academy Award for the Best Documentary Feature. Rezi becoming an international consultant for international businesses while still managing to stay a part of her family business. The two of us deciding we wanted to adopt while on a humanitarian project in Africa. Our love of kids, culminating in the discovery that families can be made in so many beautiful ways.
But perhaps my greatest pinch me moment, was simply returning home, adopting the best part of our family, and experiencing every part of life with the woman I loved by my side. In so many ways, Rezi and I grew up together. Not in the literal sense, but in our advancement into adulthood. She was my soulmate. My partner. A woman I’d learned from every day since we met and was continuing to learn from daily.
While smiling to myself, the front door got nudged back open when I attempted to close it.
“Move it or lose it, Uncle DeShawn!” Tiberius shouted, Lily quick on his tail.
“Kids, slow down,” a distraught Solange yelled after them. But they had already shot around the corner.
“Hey, Solange.” I laughed. “Rough morning?”
“Hi.” She let out a relieved sigh. “Rough week is more accurate, but you’ll see when you have two.”
She gave me a quick hug, as Titan walked in behind her, carrying a slew of headphones, tablets, and backpacks.
“You think you bought enough for the kids?” I asked, grabbing half the items from his hands and placing them on our entryway bench.
“Man, you’re telling me. I swear every time we’re about to leave the house, I tell them to put down everything they’re holding because they don’t need to bring so much stuff around.” His hands waved around as he spoke, still using his kid friendly verbiage. “Then they run out the vehicle, and I notice these lil’ mugs had already snuck half their rooms into the backseat.
“How you only three and five, and need that much stuff?”
I shook my head, knowing how he felt, but that the question was rhetorical. How kids or women had so many items they needed to drag from place to place was beyond me.
“I feel you, man.” We dabbed fists.
“Hi, Solange and Uncle Titan.” Rezi glided down the stairs looking good in her Mavericks jersey, jeans, and Jordans.
I mean, I still never understood what took so long, but I couldn’t deny appreciating her efforts. My heart still skipped a beat every time I looked at her, and I liked it that way.
“Alright y’all, well we better get going,” Solange stated after they’d all hugged.
“Hell yeah, the game starts soon,” I agreed.
“Right,” Rezi stated, giving me a dumbfounded look. “In another hour it starts. Right around the corner.”
“Don’t give me that look,” I countered. “You know we’ll need to park, then you’ll need use the bathroom, get drinks, and all the while the clock is ticking down.”
“You’re excited for these courtside seats, huh?” Solange smiled.
“Girl, he’s geeked,” Rezi interjected. “Well, I’m just going to go check on Mom and make sure she’s good with all kids and then we can leave.”
Rezi was quick to refer to my mother as mom after we got married. My mother had always wanted a daughter and she took our breakup and loss hard the first time.
“Okay. Thanks, babe. Remind her that my dad will be here first thing in the morning to take the kids to the park before we get back.”
Rezi nodded, heading off toward the playroom. That area of the house often felt like an abyss people fell into and didn’t make it out. I was sure the kids would stay in there all night until Mom made them shower and sleep.
Recently, my mother and my father had begun speaking, thanks to Nola … and Rezi’s influence. It was surprising to learn how much they didn’t know about one another given they had rarely spoken throughout my entire life. But my new family seemed to have healed my original one in so many ways I hadn’t expected.
I spoke to each of my parents about how our unorthodox family had affected me growing up. How the two of them never speaking to or about one another —and them not being married or divorced —left a strange understanding in my mind about relationships and family.
Even my father’s absence at times that I attributed to work had, in actuality, no bearings on what was truly going on. My parents being seniors in college —who weren’t even together at that time in their lives and shared one night together that resulted in me —I’m sure was hard to explain to me when I was a kid. They said they wish they’d handled it better. Luckily though, between their revelations and therapy, I’d learned even more about myself than I did about them over these last few years. All my misguided fears and insecurities being put to rest in a sense.
Alright, it’s time to go.
Solange sent me to the SUV, claiming the way my foot was impatiently tapping the floor was driving her crazy. As directed, I hopped in the back seat, feeling like a kid on punishment. The three of them arrived shortly after I called Rezi to remind her that the basketball game was now in only fifty minutes.
“Okay, let’s go!” Rezi beamed.
I knew Rezi was more excited for our night in the city than the game. Luckily, she would enjoy it more than Solange, who was a Chicago-native and claimed Dallas fans still gave her a headache even after the almost decade she’d spent here. Titan and I had promised our wives dinner and drinks after the game, each couple getting their own suite at the Omni Dallas Hotel.
“She’s a hot mess,” Rezi stated, placing her phone back in her purse.
”What’s up?” I questioned.
“The Murillos and my girl, Krystal, are already at the game.”
“What?” I yelped. “I knew y’all would make me late.”
Rezi’s eyes cut towards me so harshly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d actually pierced my skin.
“I mean …,” I cleared my throat. “That’s good they made it bae, please continue.”
Rolling her eyes, she addressed the rest of her comment to Solange who was turned around in the passenger seat. “Anyways, Anna Maria must have gone to the bathroom or something, because Krystal is over here asking if Mathias is single because she’s resulted to looking for a suga daddy.”
They both laughed, but knowing Krystal, I half believed that shit.
Once we turned onto the highway, I pulled a blunt out of my jacket pocket. “Well on that note and now that we’re free from the kiddos,” I joked, “how about a pre-game puff to get us started?”
“Where’d you get weed from?” Solange asked.
I explained one of my boys had given it to me, claiming I needed to make sure I could still get down now that I was an old married man with a kid. I was only thirty-one, but plenty of my friends were still single and kickin’ it. So, the family life seemed to age me in itself in their eyes.
“Nigga, you can’t smoke that shit in my car,” Titan barked, losing his kid friendly language now that it was only us in the car and the children were back at home. “Lexa don’t play that shit,” Titan added, referring to his Lexus.
“Man, it’s April 20th, Weed Day. And I know you got that mass text from Mathias telling all of us we better celebrate right. What do you think he’s going to say if we meet them at the game sober after they’ve dealt out these amazing seats for all of us.”
I placed my hand over my chest for dramatic effect. “Titan, I’m not rude like that.”
“Nigga, please.” He shook his head. “I saw Mathias’ message too, but he’ll be straight. Plus, Lexa can’t handle the smoke.” He rubbed his hand down the leather exterior, grinning at it like a damn fool.
“Dude, we usually with the kids, but we just so happen to have this night free and now you want to act like an old man?”
“Who you callin’ old?” He sneered.
“Yeah, baby, maybe we shouldn’t,” Rezi cosigned.
Her objection surprised me. I mean, we hadn’t smoked a blunt in a couple years, but she was usually always down to indulge every once in a while. Especially when she was with me, knowing I’d keep her safe and on the right side of her high.
“You are two seconds away from getting kicked out my Lexus,” Titan yapped, knowing he had no intention of following through with his threat.
“Well forget them,” Solange stated, pulling out a lighter. “I got the Murillos text today, too, and I came ready to enjoy. Thought we’d have to find some options at the game, but glad you’re already equipped.”
None of us were smokers, so the fact that Solange had a lighter meant that she had really prepared for this.
“Bet, that’s why you my OG.” I laughed, handing her the blunt.
“Y’all really can’t smoke that in here,” Rezi stated plainly.
When I saw the concern reflected in her eyes, my heart sank.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
My mind began to race, going over every possible illness that could have befallen my wife.
She shook her head.
“Are you hurt? Are you sick? Are you—” Her fingers against my lips silenced my inquiry.
“Damn it, bae, I’m fine.” She lightly rolled her eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you like this.”
“Oh my goodness!” Solange screeched, her hands flying to her face.
“What?” Titan and I questioned simultaneous.
Rezi and Solange exchanged a brief hand squeeze through the moving vehicle before she continued.
“Shawn, I’m pregnant.” Her excited smile slowly filled her face. “I was going to tell you tonight after dinner. I’d even packed the four tests I took, to show you in the hotel room.”
“You’re pregnant?” I waited for her words to sink in, but my heart was pounding out of my chest. I felt like I couldn’t think, her words eliminating any thoughts from my brain.
“Baby, are you okay?”
I heard her voice, but I still couldn’t formulate words. How had I gotten so blessed?
I thought Rezi agreeing to adopt was the greatest success. I’d known a part of her wanted to be a mother, but her fears about the world were valid. Therefore, we agreed, that although the world was a harsh place, we could protect a child best by actively trying ourselves. Nola would have been on this earth without us, but we could ensure she had the best life possible by adopting her at eight months old and making her ours.
I hoped to adopt another child, seeing how the system worked and how many kids needed good homes, and Rezi had agreed with me. She always felt connected to kids in the foster system, even though she herself was raised by family after her parents passing. She loved and admired her Uncle Titan in a way different from her other family because he had such a big part in raising her. Allowing her to understand the abundant space in a kid and person’s heart, even if other parents or parental figures existed there as well. Rezi and I were actually in the midst of adopting our second child now, and it seemed a third one was also on their way.
“We’re going to have three kids,” I stated. “Two possibly in the same year, like twins.”
I could feel my eyes bulging. “Wait, what if you give birth to twins? Then we’ll have four!”
My mouth fell open, while the possibilities hung in the air like a heavy weight as I grappled with the implications.
“Damn, I love you so much, baby,” I blurted, capturing her lips in mine.
“There he goes,” Solange interjected, reminding me her and Titan were still in the SUV with us. “Took a minute to get there, friend, but you made it.”
The three of them laughed, while I kissed Rezi again, placing my hand on her stomach.
“But how? I thought you were on the pill?”
“Well, I decided it was time to get off of it,” she said sheepishly. “Honestly, I planned on telling you that although I still wanted to adopt, I was open to us trying as well. I realized that I myself was the result of an amazing love story. My parents’ story. And that not all children have that benefit, but our kids could. And if God forbid something should happen to you and I, then all of our kids —biological and adopted —could tell different parts of our story and continue all the things we built for them.” She paused. “But still, I had no idea the birth control would leave my system so quickly, and before I knew it I’d missed a couple periods.”
Titan cleared his throat, indicating hearing about his niece’s cycle or me knocking her up was probably making him uncomfortable. Or perhaps her words had choked him up a bit, as they had me.
“Do we have a big enough house?” I blurted, my mind returning to the children. “I still want to adopt, do you?”
“Yes, I just said that.” She chuckled.
I knew she was laughing at me, but I didn’t care. My mind was racing a mile a minute, questions now coming faster than I could blurt them out.
After four more questions, jumping from one to the next, Rezi placed her hand on my chest.
“Baby, what do we say?” she asked as I spiraled.
“We’re fine. We’re good. We’ll live.”
She repeated it twice, until I joined her chant. “We’re fine. We’re good. We’ll live.”
And this time, in my heart of hearts, I knew we all would be fine. Our family being almost complete, but our souls never forgetting the sweet little one we never got to meet.
“I love you.” She smiled, placing her hand over mine as it remained on her belly.
“I love you more.”
“Aww,” Solange and Titan mocked before sharing in a few cheers and congratulations.
My eyes stayed glued on my beautiful wife, Rezi, and all the blessings she’d bought into my life. Choosing her being my greatest decision by far.