Chapter 5 Bunny
five
Bunny
The entire time I'm pressed up against Smoke, trapped between his body and a booster seat in a small SUV, I'm flooded with these terrible feelings about the sudden turn of events.
This is why you shouldn't have waited to talk about ending things.
Sighing softly under my breath, I try to distract myself with the two in front. Ace has taken over driving while another member of their club, Devil, fiddles with the radio to find something to fill this awkward silence with.
"Just because Penny gave you the keys doesn't mean you get to fuck with her stations." Ace slaps his hand away, and it's almost comical how the two easily bicker while he returns it to a station playing soft pop hits.
"You know how long it took to hook up a trailer to this thing?" They go back and forth as we make our way to our first destination. From the tires hanging next to the Iron Cross Auto sign, I can see that this must be Steelwood's garage where they keep up with their repairs.
"I'm going to stay here with Bunny. Think you can deal with Havoc? Not in the mood to hear his comments or deal with his prospects." Next to me, Smoke sighs heavily. He pinches his brow through the darkness, but from the shop's lights, I can still see the irritation rolling off of him.
He hardly spoke during the drive, his silence driven by a distant, lost-in-thought look. Although our knees have occasionally brushed, he hasn't noticed or paid much attention to me.
Now, it sounds like we're about to get plenty of alone time from the way Ace turns to glance between us.
"I'm going to collect a favor, then." Putting out his stipulation, he barely gets a nod from Smoke before he's urging Devil to follow him.
Silence floods the SUV soon after, only interrupted by the sound of muffled conversation and the movement of unloading the two motorcycles from the trailer.
Plucking at a loose thread at the knee of my jeans, I'm biting my bottom lip before letting out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry about your bike. I can pay for the repairs, after all, it's—"
His hand swallows up mine before he squeezes my fingers. Easily brushing them to the side, he's squeezing my knee next. "Don't think about blaming yourself. If anyone's to blame, it's me."
Unable to understand how he could possibly try to take responsibility, I'm momentarily distracted by the feel of his pinky and ring fingers brushing my inner leg. He's barely touching me, but it's enough to divert my attention.
There's no one in here but us, so why...
"I should've been doing a better job at searching for who has been watching us.
Instead, once I looked your way, my eyes couldn't stop following.
" His words grow softer, a confession I wasn't expecting from him.
"I'll do a better job, Bunny. So please, don't give up on me yet.
Don't let this asshole scare you, either. "
There's a shift to his voice, and he doesn't just sound like a grumpy guy anymore. It's impossible to miss the layer of panic beneath his words. Not because he's scared of the guy who'd damaged his bike, but because...
Because of losing me? No, that can't be right. I'm reaching again, trying to trick myself. That's all this is.
My heart keeps doing the same thing it always does when this man is involved. It flutters and aches, reminding me what's at risk here.
"We've convinced him that we're together." My body moves on its own, my legs shutting to trap his hand in place. "You don't have to act in front of people anymore. No more kisses or..."
Whatever almost happened in that alleyway.
"Just light touching from now on, okay?" Light touching is safe. Hugging his arm shouldn't make heat flood my stomach, or make my thoughts hazy enough that I'd be willing to do something reckless. Saying goodnight can be simple. Maybe a kiss on his cheek, or a hug that won't linger.
The ache in my chest is already growing just from thinking about enforcing the rules I'm trying to set out.
I don't miss Smoke's silence or the way he curls his fingers, gripping me as if he doesn't want to let go. The silence lasts too long, long enough to get the bravery to look his way and take in his frown.
"We don't need to go that far. I can control myself better.
" Like this is a discussion, he grunts when my brows lift up.
"I don't have experience under my belt, Bunny.
I don't know how a boyfriend is supposed to act.
I was just doing what felt right, and I can see that's wrong. I can hold myself back."
His words simmer and take too long to digest. Long enough for me to catch a hint of pink above his beard.
Hold himself back? Wait, what's he like if he's not pulling back on the reins?
That's a thought meant to be had when I'm home in my bed, not alone in his brother's car.
There's a more important issue here. No experience?
"Wait, are you a virgin?" The question leaves me in a rush, and I didn't even consider the idea. Sure, Smoke is awkward, but he's got the kind of looks to make any woman do a double-take. Surely, even if he's never been in a relationship, he must've fooled around.
My question makes him curse, and he's pulling his hand away to ruffle his hair.
"Fuck, no. This isn't..." He flushes more, and I realize I'm seeing a new side to him.
One that feels like it's made for just me to see.
"I've had sex once, but it wasn't... Bunny, this isn't what we're supposed to be talking about. "
I've always loved teasing this man to see what different reactions I can get out of him. Now I understand why it's always been so easy. Even now, I feel this need to strike while the iron's hot.
It's easier not to think about my scary situation when this guy is flooding my mind.
My hand finds his thigh, and it's all hard muscle beneath. One little squeeze and I notice his jaw clench. "Want to remind me what we were talking about? I've forgotten. Something about touching?"
Okay, now I'm the one going off the rails. Instead of drawing a line between us to play it safe, I'm putting my heart at risk again. Are we still talking about playing a part?
I don't expect his hand to find my chin, and it distracts me from my attempt to make his embarrassment grow.
"I won't let my jealousy fuel my decisions." His words come out deeper, like they're catching in his throat. "I won't pull you away in front of everyone and try to put my hands on you."
My breathing shifts, growing heavier. "That's why you did it, because you were jealous? Not because you were performing in front of a camera?"
His brows push together before his frown deepens. "You think I'd want anyone to see you like that? If it weren't for those damn things, I would've—"
Ace picks a terrible time to knock on the window, trying to get Smoke's attention.
He would've...what?
Smoke's nostrils flare before he releases me and shoves the door open, purposely hitting him with it. "What?"
Ace grins, seeing his flushed state. "Havoc needs your key." He curls his fingers. "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything? I figured you'd want to see me over him."
Now it's my turn to frown, but that only seems to amuse him more.
After digging it out of his pocket, he slaps it in his hand before shutting the door with too much force. Enough to hear Ace curse through the glass.
"We can talk more about this later," I continue, already knowing my patience is going to be really tested this time around. "Once we're somewhere without any... interruptions."
No brothers, issues, or... anything. Just us two, clearing up misunderstandings.
"We need to go to one more place, our clubhouse. Need to look into who did it." His chest swells with a held breath before he nods. "Then, yeah. We'll talk."
He can finish his earlier statement, and we can see where we'll go from there.
Our next stop is a place they call the warehouse. Despite hearing about it amongst the members releasing steam at tables, I've never thought to pass by. This place kind of feels off-limits to those who aren't wearing the patch.
Then again, I've got Smoke's jacket on. Hopefully, that'll mean I won't get any wary eyes pointed in my direction.
Heading inside, we follow behind the other two. Ace drags himself over to a large couch to throw himself on, and Devil disappears into another section of the large building.
Smoke doesn't stop to greet anyone, not seeming like the social type. Instead, he settles a hand against my back and guides me forward. I don't miss the furrow of his brow or the grit of his jaw.
"Are you okay?" My concern comes out in a whisper.
He grunts before his hand shifts closer to my outer hip. "Taking baby steps. Holding myself back isn't easy."
Heat rises up to my cheeks when I realize he's serious.
He really isn't putting up a performance. Even now, he's feeling jealous?
I barely have enough to digest the discovery before we stop at a door. Smoke pounds his fist on it before shoving it open.
I'm unsure what awaits on the other side, but it isn't what I anticipated.
The room is scattered with flashing lights on towers with thick cords running along the ground like tendrils.
Through the darkness, I finally notice there's a desk with a woman sitting behind a bunch of monitors.
Hardly even noticing our arrival, she continues to stare at the monitors as the reflection of whatever she's looking at dances over her large, round glasses.
"Watch your step, and don't mind Hex." Smoke gives me a warning, and I don't know what he means before he flips on the light.
The woman jerks instantly, whipping her head in our direction. At the sound of a hiss leaving her, I realize she's not alone.
There's a guy in here, too. He's sitting against the wall, blinking slowly like we've woken him up.
Smoke steps on her cords, moving toward her. "Every time I come in here, it gets worse."