Chapter 10 Bunny
ten
Bunny
The first thing I do when we enter Smoke's apartment is hit his shower. I don't take the time to look around and explore. Instead, I hit the hot water, scrub away the smell of beer, and replace it with sandalwood.
Breathing in his shampoo and body wash helps calm me in a way I desperately need.
Reuben's dead, or at least, he will be from the way they were talking. He won't be leaving anymore presents in my locker or lurking in any shadows.
I'm safe.
Scrubbing my face, I try not to cry anymore. He barely did anything, really. Pulled at my dress before Smoke appeared, and smacked my head on the mirror when he attempted to silence me.
I haven't felt scared like that in a long time. But then Smoke appeared, playing the part of my rescuer. Thanks to him, nothing worse happened.
Letting out a breath, I watch all the suds run down the drain before shutting off the water.
Knowing I can't hide out in here forever to let my emotions run their course, I steal two of his towels.
One for my hair, and one for my body. They feel so soft against my skin, and for a moment, I sigh into one of them before wrapping it around my frame.
Slipping out to find Smoke, I find him hunched over his stove. In front of him, a kettle whistles its tune.
One of his hands is already bandaged between his fingers. There are still specks of blood on his shirt, but his arms are cleaned, scrubbed pink.
"Smoke?" Calling out to him, I watch as he jerks and notices the kettle.
Moving it off the burner, he turns to look at me. His frown grows when he sees my flushed state. Tearing his eyes away, he moves to pull out two mugs. "I'm making tea."
Approaching him, I can't pretend I don't notice how stiff he is. He was silent the way here, and has avoided looking at me for a long time.
He's not blaming himself, is he?
Reaching out for him, I stroke his arm and kiss his shoulder. "I'm okay, Smoke." Murmuring the words, I sigh against his shirt. "Thanks to you, he didn't have time to do anything."
His head falls, and his body only slightly softens beneath my touch. "He shouldn't have gotten to you in the first place."
"We wouldn't have figured out who he was if he hadn't." Saying the words I know we both need to hear, I squeeze his arm and rest my forehead against his shoulder. "He's not a problem anymore, right?"
"He won't be." Confirming my suspicions, there's nothing but confidence behind his words. "You're safe from him. But Bunny, what you saw earlier—"
"I know what you're capable of, Smoke. You protected me, that's what matters." My cheeks heat with terrible timing, and I pinch my eyes shut. "I still love you."
He moves, breaking free of my touch. Turning around, I get a full look at that expression on his face. Like a dog that's been kicked. Heartbroken and worried. "Bunny—"
Reaching up for his face, I kiss him to reassure him that my feelings for him aren't going to change any time soon. He's got my heart locked in a vice.
"Now..." Pulling away, I smile at his flush. "You finish making tea, and I'm going to go raid your closet."
Running a hand down his face, he nods. Looking like he wants to say more, possibly even fight me on my willingness to move past his actions, I don't even give him the chance as I'm already pulling back.
"I'll take mine unsweetened. Sugar ruins it." Giving him a gentle smile as I attempt to act normal, I twist around and search for his room.
It's an easy find, but I don't take extra time snooping around. Instead, I steal a shirt that goes to my hips, borrow a pair of his boxers, and leave before he can get too lost in his head again.
We move our tea to his living room. He settles on his couch, a three-seater, and suggests putting on something to watch to pass the time.
When I join him, I don't bother with the rest of the couch. I'm too busy settling on his lap to care what he picks.
Smoke sputters and almost spills his drink, forced to set it down next to us to wrap an arm around me. Once I'm comfortable, he seems to relax a little. Hugging me tighter, his mouth moves against my hair.
"You're sure this is fine?" His arm tightens around me despite his attempt to offer me space.
Drinking from my mug, I nod and wiggle to get more comfy, earning a low groan from him. "This is perfect."
Really, it is. After what happened, I can't imagine feeling possibly safer. Right here, I feel untouchable.
Smoke was onto something with that sick leave idea of his. I can't remember the last time I've taken so many days off in a row. Despite all the time being spent here in his apartment, it feels like a real vacation.
Is it bad that I never want it to end?
Three days in, and I know I'm going to have to return to normal life sometime. But first, I've got to plant a seed.
Smoke's been getting comfortable, too. He's only left twice—said it was club business—but both times he came back in a rush, like any minute away from me was a minute wasted.
It's cute. I love it—love him.
I really don't want this to end.
"You know..." I pop my lips, nudge his thigh with my foot. We're on the couch, and he's let me use his lap as a footrest for the better part of an hour. "I've been thinking about how nice your place is. Pretty good upgrade from mine."
He rumbles something noncommittal and keeps stroking my ankles with his thumbs like he's not even aware he's doing it.
"I've been working really hard to save up for a nicer place. Something like this." I let the words hang. "Do you think this building has any units available?"
His thumbs stop, and he blinks before turning to look at me. His brows pinch together in that way they do when he's trying to figure out if I'm joking. "If you like my place, why don't you just save your money and move in here?"
My mouth curves. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face. "That is such a good idea. Why didn't I think of that?" I tap my chin like I'm considering it. "You think you have enough space for me?"
It's not a huge place, not like one I've dreamed about saving up for. But when it comes to Smoke, I don't need space. I just need him.
He tears his eyes away, leans back into the couch, and nods like he's already running the logistics in his head.
"Yeah. For us. For now." His thumbs start moving again, slower this time, more thoughtful than before.
"But for future planning, maybe I should upgrade to something bigger.
Ace got himself a house for his girlfriend and her daughter.
Nice place. White picket fence and everything. For a family."
Future planning?
Something funny happens to my stomach. Butterflies. The kind I haven't felt in years. Ten years younger, and I'd excuse it as a crush. Now it just warms my cheeks.
"You're already thinking that far ahead?"
Before this week, I never imagined my crush on this man getting further than longing glances across the casino floor.
He nods and clears his throat. "Thought about it a lot. Marriage, kids. The whole thing."
My head spins. Without realizing it, my hand drifts to my stomach. I've fantasized about an endgame with this man. Dreamed of two kids with matching blonde hair, both with my smile. There was a dog in that dream, too.
Growing older, I kind of assumed that door had closed because this man had always seemed out of my reach.
In my silence, he looks over. His brows pinch when he catches me with heated cheeks and my hand resting low on my belly.
"Instead of thinking that far ahead," I say, pulling one foot free from his grasp, "you should be thinking about right now."
I press my bare foot against his stomach and feel his breathing stutter.
"You're thinking about being a dad, but we haven't even had sex yet."
Smoke wanted to play it safe for me. Wanted to take things slow because of a few bruises that are already fading. And while I appreciate the gentleman act, I'm not a china doll. My want for him still hasn’t gone away. In fact, it’s only grown.
He makes this low, choking sound. His ears go red as I watch him try to school his expression. Sitting up, I swing my legs off his lap and turn to face him.
As if he can already sense a storm coming, he braces himself.
"I'm not on birth control or anything, Roland."
I let that land and watch his pupils blow wide. His chest heaves, and his hands curl into fists on his thighs like he's physically restraining himself.
"You just told me you've thought about marriage. Kids. A whole future." I lean in, just a little. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him. "I guess I can confess something, too. I've thought about the same things, though; it was always with you."
It feels good to confess the words. Really good.
We’re still in our matching pajamas, his shirt and boxers. While my boxers are growing a little damp, his are barely hiding the growing rise coming from this exchange.
I can’t help myself. I reach for his leg, squeezing his thigh right below where his cock is pressing against the fabric.
His jaw tightens. "Bunny—"
“I want you, and everything that comes with it.” Making myself vulnerable, revealing my feelings, I see it happen. Smoke is hitting his breaking point.
His hands uncurl and reach for me. He doesn't grab. Doesn't pounce. He cups my face like I'm something precious, and when he kisses me, it's nothing like the soft brushes he's given me these last few days.
His tongue sweeps against my lower lip, and I open for him without hesitation. His hands slide into my hair, tilting my head back, and he makes a sound low in his throat that sends heat straight down my spine as I move until I’m sitting on his lap.
I could kiss this man for hours if he let me.
When he pulls back, we're both breathing hard.
“We need to go to my bed.” Stroking my hair and then my cheek, he lets out a low groan. “All the ways I want you? The couch won’t cut it.”
His words make me blush, but the promise in his voice isn't what makes me gasp. It's the way he easily hooks his arms around me and picks me up before standing.
Clinging to him as he carries me toward his room, I can't contain that laugh that forms in my chest. It's a giggle too airy to come from me. Smoke loves it to the point of smiling.
Then my back hits the bed, and that smile of his is gone as quickly as it formed. Replacing it is a smirk, one dripping with hunger. Watching him tug off his shirt, I'm left breathing heavier, my body betraying me.
How am I supposed to tease him now when he looks like he wants to eat me up in one bite? In his attempt to give me space, he's been holding back while playing the part he thought I needed.
"I've had a lot of time to think about this." Clenching his shirt, his flush spreads to his chest before he drops it to the ground. "I hope you're ready."
Without question, I am. I'm so ready it terrifies me.
"Show me," I whisper. "Show me what you've been thinking about."
He makes a sound. Low like a growl before finally, he’s on me.