Chapter 10
I want to die. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my entire life. Omen saw the video of me making myself cum. I’m mortified. Dead. Just bury me now.
I’ve never been to Hawk’s house before. He’s always lived with me and my daddy growing up. Then prison. I visited him once there. Only once because I couldn’t bear to see him like that. I tried again a few months later, but he refused my visit. It probably pissed him off that I didn’t come sooner.
I never told him how I felt seeing him in there. It doesn’t matter now. The second he got out, I asked him to do the most fucked up thing anyone ever could ask of a person. That night was the last time I saw him until I spotted him in the parking lot of Level Up five days ago…
So now he has a house in Crimson Valley. And I’m sitting in his living room, dying from embarrassment and sweating under the heat of his glare. Caught between Omen’s permanent scowl and Scarrow’s sloppy grin.
Scarrow licks his lips and I’m instantly reminded of how hard that same tongue of his made me cum the other night. I want to scream, cry, and fuck his face again. Not sure in what order though.
Hawk sits on the identical brown leather couch across from the one I’m sitting in. While Scarrow perches on the end of it, amused as usual. Omen paces behind it, only briefly stopping to snarl at me when I light up a cigarette.
I take a long drag and blow out a shaky, smoke-filled breath. “Look, it’s not that deep. Kane’s just being Kane.”
The look Hawk sends me is bone chilling.
Murderous. Fucking diabolical enough to scare your soul right out of your body.
He smooths his hand over the pistol that rests on the cushion beside him.
“Is that right? So you like sending him pics and videos of yourself getting off then? Oh, and I’d be real careful what you say next, Cherry. ”
Who the fuck do these guys think they are? Sharing a homicidal trauma bond does not give them the right to dictate everything I do. “So what if I did? How is that any of y’all’s business?” I wave my cigarette in the air, drawing an invisible line between the three of them with it.
Scarrow’s smirk disappears instantly. He rolls up his sleeves, revealing the thick veins that protrude out between his swirls of tattoos. “That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”
Omen rips off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves while he continues to pace. “This Kane fucker… is he the one in the video, Cherry? Don’t fucking lie. I swear to Christ I will lop off your fucking tongue.”
Dammit. I was hoping to break that part to them slowly. Fuck it. I’m deep in this shit now. “Yeah. I recognized the tattoo on his arm. I wanted a chance to confront him first before I told you. Maybe if I tell him to stop…”
Hawk grits his teeth so hard I think he might snap his own jaw. “I never understood what drew you to that fucker. I am going to kill him, Cherry. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three fucking times… you’re fucking dead.”
Shit. This was already bad. And I just made it worse. “No one’s gonna believe him, Hawk. He doesn’t have any proof that I murdered those boys. None. I’ve been playing along because it’s better to keep him from causing chaos.”
“You’re done with all that now. I let him take your virginity, then my freedom when I covered for you both with the crash, and now he’s hitting our warehouses and messing with our livelihood? Nah, no more.”
“You let him take my virginity?” I snicker. “Right. When you were too busy to pay attention to—”
He leaps off the couch and barrels toward me. “Correct. I also let him continue to breathe. So no…he doesn’t get to have your pussy and eat it too.”
I draw in a sharp breath when he yanks me to my feet by the back of my neck. “He doesn’t get to have any of you anymore,” he whispers in my ear.
I shiver as the tip of his nose brushes my cheek. “Baby girl… you’re sleeping in my room tonight. It’s down the hall, third door on the right. Go. Now. And don’t say another fucking word. I’ll be right there.”
There are not very many people that I take orders from. In fact, Hawk might be the only one who can hold me in place with just a look. The only man I’d gladly break myself open for. Even if it meant he was going to smash all of my most fragile parts into bloody pieces.
And I know better than to argue when he gets that tone in his voice. In that instant, I submit. He knows by the look in my eyes. The second he removes his hand from my neck, I strut past a bewildered Scarrow and an even angrier Omen.
I slide my hand across the wood paneling of the walls to anchor myself, jarred by the click of my own heels echoing down the hall.
I take deep breaths as I walk. With each step closer that I get to Hawk’s room, my heart beats wilder.
It’s been a decade since we slept under the same roof, let alone in the same bed.
The lies and secrets we once kept between us, between our sheets, ensured our souls would never be redeemed.
Not even under the holy light of having a preacher for a daddy can save me.
I’m tainted. Damaged fucking goods. But as long as I get to be next to Hawk, to breathe the same air as him…
to stretch out beside him… then I don’t fucking care.
His room is as I imagined it. It’s dark with black curtains, black sheets, and lots of pillows. He has this twisted, cozy core vibe about him that I’ve always loved. Like a character out of a Dickens novel. He’s tortured, broody, clever, and seductive without even trying.
I step out of my stilettos before unzipping my jeans and shimmying out of them.
Then I step back into the sexy red heels.
If he’s going to order me around like he used to, then I’m going to make it impossible for him to look away.
I’m going to do everything in my power to make him hate himself for making me stay here.
I stand in front of the full length mirror by the bed, admiring my own curves.
I take a deep breath and slowly pull my flimsy lattice-edged tank top over my head.
Once I’m down to nothing but my sparkly red thong and stilettos, I climb onto the bed and wedge a pillow under my hips before leaning back against the headboard.
I light up another cigarette when I hear footsteps down the hall getting closer.
My heart is racing but so is my cunt. I missed this.
The way he made me feel worthless and sacred at the same time.
How he could look at me like I was the most precious thing on the planet while also being the thing he despised the most.
The door swings open and the outline of his silhouette in the frame makes my stomach drop into my ass. He lets out a sputtering breath when he sees me. “Get your shoes off my bed, Cherry.”
“Come make me,” I rasp on an exhale of smoke.
He closes the door behind him and locks it before he turns back around and leans up against it. “You’re a fucking menace,” he murmurs.
That familiar sensation returns to my legs, the yearning that makes them shake, knowing he won’t fucking touch me. And how it turns my desire into a fucking death sentence.
I put my cigarette out in the half-drunk beer bottle on the side table. “I’m the menace you created, brother.”
He winces. “Don’t call me that. You know what that does to me.”
I used to think it offended him, but over the years I saw that it stirred up something else.
This sense of protectiveness and possessiveness over me.
But in a way that sparked his own desperate desires.
The way every space between us became an inferno, the tension thicker than smoke with all of its unspoken warnings like alarm bells ringing in our ears.
With trembling fingers, I slowly circle the base of my nipples. “Should I call you daddy then? You looked after me better than he did.”
Hawk unbuckles his belt. He slides it off and tosses it to the floor as he stalks toward the bed. “Careful… I’m at my fucking limit with you tonight, Cherry.”
I arch my back, happy I have his eyes on me, and gently pinch each nipple between my fingers. “Show me what happens when you break, Hawk. Let your guard down with me. Please. For once… please.”
He climbs onto the bed and grips my ankles. “Pinch them harder.” He yanks both my heels off and throws them behind him.
A whimper gurgles from my throat. The heat between us is deadly. I do as he says and relish the way his eyes flutter in approval. “I wish you could feel how hard they are for you.”
His eyes almost roll back into his head. He growls as I arch for him. I lift my hips. “Please touch me, Hawk.”
“You beg like a needy slut,” he rasps. “Harder.”
“I want you, Hawk. Please. I’ve always wanted you. Don’t do this to me again.” I’m about to cry and cum at the same time. Fuck him, and fuck me for getting sucked back into this again.
“You think I like this torture? My sweet Cherry… my baby girl.” He nestles himself in between my legs, forcing them wider apart.
I’m so wet, I feel like I’m gonna die if he doesn’t touch me. “Yeah, come closer. I dare you.”
“If I give you what you want… will you stop this shit with Kane? Will you please fucking stop sending him pictures and videos? He doesn’t deserve to see those parts of you.”
I freeze, livid. “So that’s what this is about?
Getting back at Kane? If you don’t want me then just say it!
Don’t keep making me think you feel the same way about me.
Or is it that you just don’t want anyone else to have me?
You don’t want me to ever be happy. All these years, Hawk… Fuck you. Get away from me.”