Chapter 4
Raphael
“Good morning, Dream,” I greeted, as soon as the door opened. Swallowing back a moan, my eyes slid over her body. Damn, she looked good in a fitted, maroon T-shirt and dark blue jeans that accentuated the curves of her hips, thighs, and ass. Her feet were bare, sans the blue polish on her toes.
Ashlynn grunted. She motioned to my hands, raising a questioning eyebrow.
“Oh this?” I held up the cup and shrugged. “It’s just a little something I picked up on the way. It’s early, so I wanted to come bearing gifts.” I extended it toward her, smiling when she wordlessly accepted the cup and took a long, healthy sip. The moan she released sent a surge of heat through my body, chasing away the chill in the air.
“Thank you. I really needed this,” she said, stepping back and finally making way for me to enter. “I’m no good without my coffee.”
“I remember. You never were a morning person.” I followed her into the living room. “I’m just glad today is a one-cup day and not a two.”
“It’s a two-cup day.” After picking up the pair of balled-up socks, she sat in a chair to put them on. “I already had my first cup but realized I ran out of creamer before I could make the second.” She slipped into her shoes, then stood. “So, where are you taking me today that has me up this early on a Saturday?”
“Dream, it’s almost eight.”
She shrugged, allowing me to help her into her coat. “It’s before noon, meaning it is early, and you didn’t answer my question. Where are we going?”
“To a cannabis expo,” I told her, ushering her out of the house and over to my car, parked on the side of the guest cottage. I opened the passenger side door for her and helped her inside, then ran around the hood and got in. Starting the car, I blasted the heat. “Weed the People was invited to showcase today. I was also asked to deliver a speech.”
Ashlynn turned to me, face beaming. “That’s amazing, Raphael.”
“Thanks. I’ve attended in the past, but never as a vendor. I was shocked when I was asked to speak.”
Her brows knitted. “Why?”
“Public speaking has never been my thing. It’s more of Nathaniel’s.”
“True, but it’s yours today.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I pulled out of the driveway and took a left, heading down the long, winding road leading the front gate of the vineyards. I’d taken this road so many times throughout my youth, yet it was amazing to see acres of fields being prepped for the season. A few years ago, before I opened Weed the People, my best friend, Stoney, and I created Dream Escape, a cannabis processing and cultivation company with a facility in Maryland. Thanks to the mentoring from MJ, I knew firsthand what went into producing healthy crops. The long hours it took to ensure what you’re growing produced the best results for the consumer.
“Where is this expo being held?” Ashlynn asked, after we’d been on the road for about ten minutes.
“Uncasville.”
Ashlynn reared her head back. “Uncasville? As in Connecticut?”
I nodded, pressing my lips together to fight back a smile. Secretly, I’d been waiting for her to ask this question, and there was a small part of me that was thankful she’d done so while we were on the road and not at the vineyard. Although, we weren’t too far away, where I couldn’t hit a U-turn if she didn’t like my answer.
Undoing her seatbelt, Ashlynn turned in her seat. “You’re joking, right?”
“No. I’m serious.” I glanced at her briefly, trying to gauge her reaction, before focusing on the road. “It’s about a six-hour drive both ways if we don’t stop for anything. I checked the estimated arrival time before I picked you up, and we should get there by two. I’m scheduled to speak at four.”
“I thought you said you were showcasing there as a vendor as well.”
“I am. My team is already there. They arrived yesterday and will be staying until tomorrow.”
“Why are you here and not there with them?”
“I had something more important to handle.” I wasn’t sure if Ashlynn knew I was referring to meeting her for dinner, and because of the terms I’d agreed on, I wouldn’t tell her. The last thing I needed was to make her regret her decision. “Besides, this was the perfect opportunity to delegate responsibilities. The lead general manager is there with about three other employees. They’ll handle the booth, but I’ll be around if they need anything.”
I beeped the horn and flipped the middle finger at a driver who’d aggressively merged into the lane in front of me. When I looked over at Ashlynn, to check on her, she had her middle finger raised as well.
“Fucking asshole,” she grumbled, shaking her head.
I snickered. The road raging ‘Passenger Princess’ I knew her to be made an early appearance.
Reconnecting her seatbelt, Ashlynn asked, “Are we staying the night? I didn’t bring an overnight bag.”
“Me either. I didn’t plan on it, but if you want to, I’m sure we can find a thrift store along the way to buy some pre-seasoned panties.” I barked out a laugh at the stank face Ashlynn made.
“You are a sick and twisted individual, Raphael Anthony Reed.”
One of the reasons you love me, I wanted to say, but went with, “I never pretended to be otherwise. The name suggests I’m a saint, but the actions have proven I’m a sinner.”
“Whatever.” Ashlynn pursed her lips together, her annoyance with me clear in her features.
“Aww, pretty baby, did I upset you? I know what’ll make you smile.” I reached behind her seat to grab the plastic bag I’d placed there and handed it to her.
Ashlynn untied the bag and peered inside. Her head popped up, and the smile she graced me was like a sucker punch to the gut, followed by a Rock Bottom through a table, unexpected and powerful enough to knock my ass out. She removed a box of Berry Blast Mike and Ike, tore the top, and poured herself a handful. “I can’t believe you remembered all of my favorite road tripping snacks. Thanks, Raphe.”
“You’re welcome, Dream. I told you, there’s nothing I don’t remember about you.” It wasn’t a line, like most people would assume. There wasn’t a single detail I could forget about Ashlynn. We’d spent so much time together over the years, that it was hard not to know her likes and dislikes, both platonically and intimately. “Now, go ahead and relax.” I motioned to the growing traffic ahead of us. “If you want to connect your phone by Bluetooth, you can. I know there are some audiobooks you probably haven’t started yet.”
“There is,” she answered, extending the box of candy toward me, and pouring some in my hands. “I’ve been ripping and running since I got back. No lie, today is the first day I had to myself away from the vineyard.”
“I can believe it, and I’m glad I’m able to provide you with a little break.”
Ashlynn mumbled a garbled thanks, around a mouthful of Mike and Ike, then sighed, sinking farther into the heated leather seats. Seeing her let her guard down around me and allow herself to be lulled into the perfect state of relaxation did something to me. She looked peaceful, and I wanted nothing more than for her to always experience this peace while with me.
I was still in a state of shock by the events that transpired at dinner last night. Nothing about the evening went as I’d expected. starting with Ashlynn reaching out to me. She’d called me yesterday afternoon, and asked if we could chat. But the timing had been wrong. Ashlynn had caught me as I was walking into a distribution meeting with the owners of a medical marijuana dispensary, and canceling it so I could talk to her wouldn’t have been professional of me.
Besides, I wanted to see her again.
When I told her I couldn’t, but suggested we meet dinner, I could feel her hesitation through the phone, and the looming silence that overtook the line didn’t help. I’d mentally prepared myself for her to say no and was about to tell Stoney to give me a couple minutes, but when she asked for a time and information on where to meet, my ass leapt in the air like a leprechaun on his way to secure his pot of gold. The shit was comical. I’d already had plans to go to The Swishation Room, since it was the first night of the pop-up, so inviting Ashlynn was a given. I wanted her to have a real high dining experience, nothing like the brunch she, Dina, Stephanie, and Hayden attended a few weeks ago where only a few selections of food were infused. However, getting her to agree to letting me send a car for her, a privilege given to all High Society members, without telling her why had been difficult. In true Ashlynn fashion, she’d asked a million and one questions, wanting to know the who, what, when, where, how, and why behind my plans for the evening, but finally gave in to the art of surprise. Although, during dinner, Ashlynn told me she’d bugged the driver for more information and was surprised he didn’t kick her out the car.
The hardest part of the whole evening was getting through a conversation that, in some ways, was five years in the making. We’d walked away with unresolved feelings for each other, and instead of addressing them like adults should, we buried them under the guise of moving on. I threw myself into Dream Escape and Weed the People, but was never fully able to outrun the reminders of what I shared with Ashlynn.
I never stopped loving Ashlynn. I don’t think the thought ever crossed my mind, and hearing her voice crack under the emotion of her pain gnawed away at my heart. It took everything in me not to get up from my seat and pull her into my arms. I wanted to hold Ashlynn, promise her that she never had to feel anything other than sheer happiness with me, ease away her fears, then kiss her breath away until her knees buckled, heart raced, and she could no longer hold herself up.
Whether she realized it or not, we were being given another chance at the forever we talked about so many times, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to achieve the ‘happily ever after’ she read about in her romance novels.
“Tell me more about how you plan to infuse these wines,” Ashlynn said, leaning forward to turn down the radio. “I did some research, and saw there were a couple of ways we could do this, but what did you have in mind?”
We’d been driving for almost two hours, and while I didn’t mind the silence between us being filled with the low hum of the engine, the sound of cars passing by, the occasional blaring of a horn, or the playlist she’d pulled up of throwback RB and Hip-Hop songs, my mind was left to wander, which could be a dangerous thing.
I merged into the right lane, ready to take the next exit. “Originally, I figured we could do an infusion at every stage of production, starting when the grapes are pressed, but that’s something we’ll have to explore down the road. For the Smoker’s Soiree function, I think we can start infusing wines that have already gone through the aging and dealcoholization phases. I also think we should try infusing wines with alcohol content then, using whatever method you deem fit, we can dealcoholize it, then infuse again. Then there’s the infusion itself. This is more than steeping buds, but that’s a way I want to try. We decarb the flower to?—”
“Decarb?”
“Not like removing carbs, if that’s what you were thinking.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were.” I chuckled, and she stuck out her tongue. “But nah, it’s the process of activating the compounds in the marijuana. You do this by heating it. So, we can decarb the flowers and seep them in the wine, at any stage of production, or utilize THC or CBD extracts, which can be obtained in different ways, meaning this venture is one that can potentially go beyond a couple months.”
“Hmm …” Ashlynn volleyed her head from side to side.
I wondered what she was thinking. Was Ashlynn’s mind racing to calculating the many different ways and joint combinations that could be used to find the perfect blend? Or was she thinking about our future? If the bottles from the test batches received positive feedback, and things between she and I didn’t work out, would Ashlynn be okay with working with me, or would we once again repeat the cycle she mentioned at dinner? During the time we were apart, we’d grown comfortable standing on the fringes of each other’s lives, existing between the thin veil of lovers and friends. Our dynamic was reduced to likes and wall posts. Like Ashlynn mentioned, she’d lost her friend in me, and I’d lost mine in her.
Could I go back to the way things have been for the last five years?
Did I want to relive those times when updated statuses, tweets, and the occasional gossip became my lifeline to the sun in my universe because calling to say ‘hi’ would open a can of worms?
“It sounds like a lot, Raphael.” There was no mistaking the uncertainty in her voice. Still, I wouldn’t lie to her.
“It is, but if spending time at the vineyards has taught me anything, it’s that winemaking is trial and error, much like everything we do in life.”
A soft smile spread across her lips at the words her grandfather repeatedly told us in our youth. Those were words I lived by, what I tried instituting in my life as well as my own businesses. Learning to cultivate the cannabis I put into my products wasn’t an easy task, and there were times I made unfathomable mistakes, causing me to lose a lot. However, the most important lesson I learned was not to allow my missteps to discourage me. Giving up was not an option because I knew, firsthand, the importance of medicinal marijuana, and wanted to share that knowledge with the world.
“I love the idea of infusing at all stages. It allows the wine and the marijuana to become fully emersed with one another. My one concern is the amount of weed needed to make this happen.”
“It shouldn’t be. You do realize I know the plug, right? If anything, I’m worried about how your family feels about what we’re planning to do.” Ashlynn turned her head, her gaze focused on the passing trees. My brows dipped in confusion. “Dream?” I placed a hand on her arm. “You did tell them, right?”
Briefly, Ashlynn tensed under my touch, which had me ready to snatch my hand back, but before I could, she relaxed. Looking my way, she shook her head. “Something like that.”
I opened my mouth to question her, but she cut me off.
“I mentioned it to Uncle Lance, and he’s on board with the idea, but he thinks I should run it past Pops and Uncle Gil, just to make sure we can find a place to store the infused wines away from the other barrels, but still in a cool, well-ventilated place without direct sunlight.”
“Understandable.” HFV was a reputable business. Making sure barrels of the cannawines didn’t get mixed in was important. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “When do you think you’ll be able to talk to them?”
She sat up in her seat, shifting her body to mine. “On Monday. I have a meeting with them to discuss spacing for this year’s production and the very real possibility of having to build another place for storing.”
“Sounds good.” I picked up my bottle of water from the cup holder and took a swig.
“Great.” Ashlynn clapped her hands together. “Now that you’ve transferred out of Professor Utonium’s body with your Steve Urkel, Brain for Arthur, DeeDee-Stay-Out-of-My-Laboratory-accent having-ass, are you going to tell me why an employee from Weed the People was seen making a delivery to my grandparents?”
I burst out laughing, spewing water all over me and the windshield. “Woman, look what you made me do.” Shaking my head, I grabbed the wad of napkins Ashlynn handed to me. “Did it get on you?”
She lifted her arms, touched her hair, and dramatically checked her shirt and her jeans. “You got me a little,” she said, quickly adding, “but you’ve covered me in worse,” just as I took a second sip, causing me to spit the water in my mouth out again.
Ashlynn threw her head back and cracked the hell up. “That for this soft kidnapping and for suggesting I wear somebody else’s panties.”
Any fears I had about this venture failing with Ashlynn was instantly pushed out of my head, because there was no way I was letting her go for a third time.
“Ahhh, sweets. You did so fucking amazing.”
I didn’t have time to respond or process the extent of her words before Ashlynn launched herself into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Thanks, Dream.” I smiled, holding her tight, reveling in the feel of her body pressed so intimately against mine. I missed this feeling, had been trying hard to keep up with the rules she’d set for us working together, but the shit was hard.
Now I’m getting hard.
Not wanting her to feel the evidence of my desire for her, I placed Ashlynn down and looked around. “How did you get back here?” I’d just stepped off the green stage at Cannabis Expo 2024 and was backstage, soaking in the thunderous applause and standing ovation I’d received at the end of my speech.
Ashlynn quirked a brow, rearing her head back. “Whatcha mean? I walked back here. Who was gonna stop me?”
I laughed. “Umm … security?”
“Yeah. Nah.” She smiled, adjusting the lanyard around my neck. “They tried, but when I hit them with the ‘Black Mama’ stare, those youngins were quick to let me through. Besides, they were more interested in my ass and breasts than they were in keeping you safe. I’m pretty sure I heard one of them say they would eat my ass like a bowl of mangoes.”
The smile on my face dipped into a scowl. I pulled Ashlynn away from me, staring her dead in the eyes when I said, “Don’t get one of these lil muthafuckas hurt in here. It won’t be a good look for Weed the People, and I don’t feel like going to jail tonight.”
Using her index fingers, Ashlynn pushed the corners of my lips up, to mimic a smile. “Oh, don’t be so serious. I’m joking. Kinda,” she added after a beat.
“Dream,” I warned, tilting my head.
Ashlynn threw her head back and burst out laughing. “I kid. I kid.” Seconds later, her smile faded. “But seriously, I’m really proud of you. You might think public speaking isn’t your thing, but it is. For the last fifteen minutes, you commanded the attention of everyone in here, and even those lingering outside, who couldn’t get in because there wasn’t enough room. You captivated the audience, spoke with conviction, and inspired so many people.”
I could see the love, admiration, and pride shining brightly in her eyes. An unexpected pain ripped through my chest, making my heart hurt, while serving as a reminder of how long it had been since the last time she looked at me this way.
She swallowed hard, pushing out a shaky breath. “You’ve always inspired me, Raphe, and seeing what you’ve accomplished, it’s …” Her lips twisted as if she were struggling to find the right words.
“I distinctly remember you saying you didn’t want our past to overshadow our present.”
“I don’t. But regardless of how we try avoiding it, we never took the time to discuss what happened, or how it made us feel.” She looked away, but not before I caught the unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “Seeing you on that stage, listening to you talk about why you turned to medicinal marijuana, and how much it helped you over the years, forced me to realize I missed a lot in your life.”
“And vice versa, Dream. I wasn’t sitting and cheering in the front row for some of your biggest accomplishments. I couldn’t hold your hand when you were alone in a foreign emergency room, scared and in pain, unsure of what was going on in your body.” Releasing her, I scrubbed a hand down my face. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to get into right now. However, if Ashlynn and I were going to make it, we needed to get everything out in the open—no matter how painful it would be.
“That’s because I pushed you away, Raphe. Or did you forget? I left. I put my need to be the best vintner in the history of my family before our relationship.”
“I gave you my blessings. I told you to go.”
Ashlynn threw her arms up in frustration. “But why? Why would you support my decision to move abroad, and stay for two years?” She paced a few times before whirling to face me. “You asked me to marry you, then you let me go.”
I took a few long strides, crossed the floor, and stopped in front of Ashlynn, gathering her into my arms as the first tear slid down her cheek. “I did, and I would do it again, Dream. The distance scared you. Not physically being together every day opened the doors to allow doubt and self-consciousness to take root. But, sweetheart, what you need to understand is the fucking ocean would never stop me from getting to you. I’d swim that bitch if it meant being by your side. I didn’t care about the time difference or losing sleep. Losing you was worse. I might’ve told you to follow your dreams, but I never intended for that to mean I wouldn’t be in your life.”
She sniffled. “I thought I?—”
“Was doing the right thing. I know you did. I did the same thing, too. I was in a dark place, and not wanting to dim your light, I let you go. We both made decisions for the other, thinking it was for the best, and maybe it was, but we can’t change any of that now. Nor can you keep holding onto the guilt.”
“I’m trying,” she whined. “It’s crazy. I’m not scared you’ll hurt me. My fear is the universe will allow us to find the happiness we’ve been missing with each other, then snatch it away.”
“That’s your problem …” I tapped the end of her nose, and Ashlynn giggled. “Thinking you can control what you were never given permission to be in charge of.” Taking her hands in mine, I brought them to my lips and brushed a kiss on the back. “I’m not sweeping your concerns under the rug because, given our past, they’re valid, but I am asking you to wholeheartedly give us a chance. As a matter of fact, what are you doing on Wednesday?”
Her brows jumped. “Wednesday? As in Valentine’s Day?”
“Yep. I’d love to take you out.”
“I mean that could work, but Valentine’s Day is so romantic, and we’re supposed to be taking things slow.” She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Can I have a couple hours to think about it?”
“Sure,” I told her, smiling to hide the disappointment I felt. It wasn’t the answer I’d been expecting, but her not saying no meant there was still a chance I could persuade her. Game on.