Chapter 34
HARTLEY
It’s been almost two months since we moved into the house. Boxes disappeared weeks ago, and the newness of the house has worn off.
Tonight, the three of us end up in Alaska’s bed. It happens spontaneously. The bedtime story turns into two stories.
Stellan laughs under his breath and stretches out on one side of her while I lie down on the other. The mattress dips under our weight.
The lamp on the nightstand throws a soft halo of light across the wall where a handful of drawings are taped up in even rows.
Alaska’s eyes droop slowly as she lays on her side, and Stellan traces slow circles through the fabric of her pajama shirt.
I watch them both while I lie there.
Alaska shifts between us and lifts her head slightly. Her gaze moves from me to Stellan and then back again.
“What is it, kiddo?” Stellan asks softly.
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, her fingers twist in the edge of the blanket while she looks at me again.
I smile a little to reassure her. “You okay?” I ask.
She nods.
Then she opens her mouth, and for a second nothing happens.
The silence stretches just long enough that my brain starts to move past it.
Then a small voice fills the room.
“Uncle Hart… I love you.”
The sound stops everything inside me. My body goes completely still, like someone pressed pause on the world.
She spoke.
The realization knocks the breath out of me.
For the last year, her voice has lived only in my imagination. I learned her language through her hands, through the quick motions and bright expressions that say more than words sometimes could. We built our life together that way.
Stellan inhales sharply beside us. I turn my head toward him and see tears already sliding down his face. He’s not trying to hide them. His hand covers his mouth like he’s afraid to make a sound that might scare the moment away.
Alaska watches both of us carefully.
I still can’t move. All the air leaves my lungs in one shaky breath, and my eyes blur. Before I even realize what’s happening, I reach for her.
My hand cups the side of her face gently. “Hey,” I whisper.
She says it again, “I love you.”
My throat closes completely.
Lance flashes through my mind without warning. My brother kneeling on the living room floor while Alaska clung to his shirt. His laugh. The way he used to look at her like she hung the moon.
For so long it felt like the grief swallowed everything that came after it. Now this moment sits in front of me, real.
She found her voice. Not because someone pushed her or forced her, because she felt safe enough to use it.
My forehead drops gently against hers. “I love you too.”
The words come out broken, but honest.
Stellan wipes at his face and laughs quietly through the tears.
“You did it,” he mouths.
Alaska looks at him then and her eyes brighten slightly.
She shifts on the pillow and reaches one hand toward him.
“I love you too,” she says.
Stellan completely loses the battle with his composure.
A soft squeak breaks out of him while tears keep sliding down his cheeks. He leans over and presses his forehead against hers the same way I did.
“I love you too, kid,” he says quietly.
The three of us stay there for a long moment.
No one moves.
Alaska yawns suddenly and curls into the blankets, tucking fox under her chin before her eyes drift closed again. Her breathing evens out within minutes.
Stellan and I stay on either side of her. He reaches across the mattress and takes my hand. I squeeze once, and he squeezes back.