Chapter 21
The air was sweet and fresh, tinged with a hint of vanilla, as I settled into a table in the far corner of the library’s main floor.
A giant arched stone window bathed me in warm afternoon sunlight, its rays heating the back of my neck as I hunched over another ancient tome.
Hours had slipped by in this quiet sanctuary, and despite poring over countless texts, I still found no information about Amantius’ pink Light or whether anyone had ever managed to harness its power.
I set the book down and rubbed my tired eyes, which stung from all the dust floating in the air. Taking a deep breath, I smoothed my baby hairs back from my face and tucked them behind my ears. There had to be more knowledge about Amantius out there… How could there be so little?
I understood that the only way Amantius could communicate with her children was through oracles. Though, I had yet to find a reason why. It still baffled me that each book contained the same passages, just rewritten in countless ways.
Jodana approached the table, balancing a towering stack of books in her arms that nearly obscured her head. “This is the last of it, dear. What exactly are you looking for again?”
Barely glancing up from the page, I replied, “To be honest, I’m not even sure. I’m trying to learn more about Amantius and the Light she bears, but every book just repeats the same nonsense.”
The old woman hummed in agreement as she set the stack down with a thud. Then she walked around the table and took a seat across from me, peering around the room to ensure we were out of earshot of any other library visitors.
Once she felt secure, she leaned in and whispered, “Amantius is a mysterious Goddess. For such a majestic and all-powerful being who claims to love us unconditionally, she hasn’t made herself well known to her own people. One might wonder why that is.”
I pondered her words. It was curious that Amantius created us to find companionship and family, yet she did not communicate with her children, did not visit them, and seemed to do nothing with them at all.
Perhaps Amantius admired us from a distance, or maybe she felt disappointment in her own creation.
There might be factors we were unaware of that kept her separated from us.
One thing I had learned during my week’s stay on Ornath was that the universe was far more complex and intricate than I could have ever imagined.
I slammed the book shut and let out an exasperated breath. “Don’t you find it strange that there is so little information about where Amantius herself came from? Everything I’ve read starts with her already born, but who made her?”
Once again, Jodana surveyed the room to ensure no one was eavesdropping.
Only a few other patrons had visited the library that morning, and none had sat near my small table in the far corner of the vast space.
Most guests preferred to linger by the many bookshelves lining the room, but I craved solitude to read undisturbed.
Jodana’s eyes narrowed with concern as she replied, “Perhaps there is something she doesn’t want us to know.” She stood abruptly, strode to my side, and gave my shoulder a reassuring pat. “I hope you find what you’re looking for, Jane,” she said with a sympathetic smile before turning to leave.
For the next hour, I sifted through the heap of books Jodana had brought me, but found nothing of use. One text detailed the known abilities and colours of Source Light harnessed by humans. And although fascinating, there was no mention of anyone ever being able to absorb or disperse pink Light.
The next book I pulled into view was extremely old, tattered, and tightly bound with leather strings. As I unwound each piece, the scent of decaying paper filled my nostrils—a strangely unique aroma. I liked it.
However, when the book opened, I realized that while it was indeed ancient, it was written in a language I didn’t recognize.
I scanned the room for Jodana, hoping she might be able to read the text and explain its contents to me, but I came up short. She wasn’t at her desk near the entrance of the library.
Leaning back in my chair, I flipped through the pages, hoping to recognize something, anything.
Though I couldn’t decipher the alphabet or language of the book, it was clear that it was an homage to Amantius, her creation of the universe and all living beings within it.
Page after page illustrated the beautiful goddess bestowing kisses upon Celestials, breathing life into them, while humanoid figures erupted from the soil of the planets she had brought forth.
One sketch caught my eye. Unlike the others, which depicted birth and love with vibrant colours and grace, this sketch was shrouded in darkness and gloom. Instantly, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
The image portrayed a giant being with its arms outstretched to either side, its form rendered in such deep shadows that it resembled a thundercloud hovering ominously over the planet.
The creature’s features were entirely black, and its mouth hung open as if it were mid-scream, inhaling a massive fog of dark matter into its lungs.
The entity radiated an aura of pure evil.
Amantius was nowhere to be seen.
Even without context, I felt a deep sense of horror and wariness, as if I were never meant to see this picture.
This was the first time any book on Amantius had depicted a deity other than herself, prompting me to question: was Amantius the only Goddess? Or were there others?
Who was this ghastly immortal in the sky, swallowing light?
I made a mental note to tell Jodana that I would be borrowing this book for the foreseeable future.
“Huh. I didn’t know you could read.”
The voice startled me, making me nearly jump out of my skin.
When I turned in my seat, I was surprised to see Glade standing beside me.
My mouth fell open as the implication of his words sank in. Annoyance bubbled up from my gut, and I narrowed my eyes at him, muttering, “Right. Because Earthlings are so uneducated and stupid.”
His lips curved into a wide smile as he raised his hands in defence.
“Those are your words, not mine.” He moved to the seat where Jodana had sat before.
Glade settled into the desk and scanned the titles of the books that had been tormenting me: “Amantius: Goddess of Love Untold Beginnings: The Goddess’s Story; The Anu’s Defeat & Banishment…
” His eyes flicked up to mine. “Researching your new gift?”
I averted my gaze back to the mound of texts, pulling another into my lap.
As I leafed through the pages, I avoided Glade’s stare.
We hadn’t talked about last night, and I hoped we never would.
If I had my way, we’d pretend it never happened and just move on.
Things would be so much easier that way.
But could we really pretend we hadn’t shared such a passionate kiss?
Choosing to never engage with Glade in that way again was agonizing, especially since I could never truly rid myself of him.
He was the younger brother of the man I was being forced to wed.
I needed to learn how to coexist with him while suppressing any attraction I felt. It wouldn’t be that hard, right?
“I wanted to verify what you said about Amantius’ pink Light,” I said, flipping through the pages, my eyes never leaving the page.
Glade leaned over the table and closed the book in front of me. “I already told you. No one has ever wielded the Goddess’ Light. You’re the first. But feel free to comb through those dusty old tomes if that’s what you need to convince yourself.”
“And how would you know?” I snapped, swatting his hand away from the page.
He pointed to the invisible crown atop his head and shrugged. “Prince, remember? I, fortunately, received the most prestigious education that Ornath offers.”
What a cocky asshole. “Funny. You could have fooled me.”
Glade roared with laughter, clutching his chest as if I had physically harmed him. “Ah, Jane, you wound me.”
I couldn’t help but giggle as well. For some reason, Glade’s laughter always lifted my spirits and made it hard to breathe.
After a few moments, our hysterics sputtered out, leaving an edgy stillness leftover between us. Neither of us dared to make eye contact. It was easier to put on a facade of annoyance than to confront what lingered in the air.
Glade forced a tight smile, his fingers fidgeting at the back of his neck, while I shifted in my chair, my gaze darting around the library for any potential escape.
We both opened our mouths to speak at the same time, the sound of our speech overlapping. My cheeks burned hot, and I looked down, wishing I could disappear. He gestured for me to go first, but I shook my head eagerly, desperate for him to continue.
“So, I, uh, wanted to talk about what happened last night. I mean, aside from me getting my ass kicked,” Glade began, sniggering at his own joke.
“I’m sorry for how I acted. I shouldn’t have taken you to the tavern, and I definitely shouldn’t have offered you any ale.
It was completely inappropriate. It won’t happen again.
” He pressed his lips together in a tight line, his eyes downcast in shame.
The thought of never visiting Janint’s tavern again, the exhilaration of feeling free, the joy of hearing Glade sing, curdled in my stomach. I wanted to scream in protest, to argue that it wasn’t fair, that I didn’t want to lose that part of myself. But deep down, I knew he was right.
“You’re right. It won’t happen again,” I echoed. “But Glade? I just want to thank you for trying to cheer me up, for bringing some happiness into my life. I really appreciate it.” I feigned a smile, but it felt disingenuous against the melancholy I felt inside.
He inhaled deeply, his brows furrowing as if struggling to voice the words he had to speak. “About…uh…”
“It was the ale!” I blurted out, desperate to push away the memory of the kiss, the delight of his lips against mine.
His eyes shot up to meet mine, and for a moment, I saw something flare in his gaze—an understanding. “It was the ale!” he repeated a little too quickly, nodding eagerly, but I could tell he didn’t believe it either.
We both wriggled in our chairs.
“It was just…a drunken mistake, right?” he added, as if convincing himself.
“Right. It happens all the time,” I agreed confidently, though the truth was undeniable.
I forced my attention back to the books in front of me. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” I questioned the prince, my tone colder than I intended.
“I, uh, actually came to say goodbye. I’m leaving for a little while,” he admitted, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
My eyes snapped from the page to the man seated across from me. “What? Where are you going?”
Glade peeked around, ensuring no one was within earshot, before disclosing, “Cylvaris. It’s a Fae community up in the northeastern mountains of Aurath.”
The mention of the Fae brought forth the memory of Glade examining the blood of the Tenebranian monster. It had been unlike anything I’d ever seen—sparkling. Who were the Fae, and why did they have shimmering blood?
“Because the monster had Fae blood,” I recalled, enunciating each word slowly for confirmation.
Glade’s ears perked up as he chirped, “You remember? You saw it too, didn’t you?”
I shrugged, trying to downplay my unease. “I saw the monster bleeding after it got stabbed, and its blood was definitely unusual. I’ve never seen anything like it on Earth.” I hesitated before asking, “You called it Fae blood when you were injured. Was it because it sparkled?”
He nodded, a flutter of determination igniting in his eyes. “I’m going to meet with the elder Fae and see if they have any insight as to why the Tenebranian monster’s blood resembles their own.”
“How long will you be gone?” I wondered aloud. Glade was supposed to train me in harnessing Source Light. We now knew for certain that I had the ability to wield, but I still had no way to control it. I needed him. He couldn’t abandon me. Not now.
Beads of sweat formed on my brow. Worry spiked within me like a rocket, and my breathing grew ragged. I had to learn to control this power. I had to save this universe. It was the only thing that mattered now.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted as he pressed his lips together.
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “But who will train me? Glade, we’ve just made huge progress. I can’t just wait around the library while you go gallivanting in the mountains!”
Glade raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Jane, we will find someone to help you harness your abilities. I swear it. But the truth is…I’m not sure if anyone has the knowledge to teach you how to wield Amantius’ Light. It’s unprecedented.”
This was more than just him leaving. It felt like he was abandoning me, leaving me defenceless and hopeless.
I racked my brain, desperate for a solution to how I could continue my training without Glade. A surge of rage welled in my gut as I realized that his departure could contribute to the universe’s destruction.
I had no choice.
“No. You’re taking me with you,” I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back in my chair, defiantly raising my chin.
He flinched at my words, his face twisting as a storm brewed in his eyes. “The fuck I am!”
“I. Am. Coming.” I lifted my chin even higher though my hands trembled, betraying my conviction. “You promised to train me. Now you’re breaking that promise, and that’s unacceptable. I’m coming with you to meet the Fae.”
A war raged in Glade’s mind as he visibly weighed his options. I knew he was a man of his word and didn’t want to break his promise, but I also sensed his concern about how it would look… Me riding off into the sunset with him.
He scratched his head, his voice dropping to a cold, measured tone. “And how do you suppose we explain your absence from the castle and your presence among an ancient race of Fae to Jion?”
My eyes widened, an idea sparking in my mind. “How ancient are we talking?”
“Uh, I don’t know. The Fae can live for thousands of years, I think. I’ve only met them a few times before. Why does that matter?”
“The Fae might know more about Amantius’ Light than any ordinary Ornathian. If they’ve been around for thousands of years, they could have witnessed it being gifted to someone else. I need to speak to them,” I earnestly declared.
Glade pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and huffed an exaggerated puff.
“This won’t look good for either of us, and I’m not sure Jion will be comfortable with you leaving on such short notice, especially with the wedding coming.
So, here’s my offer: I’ll bring you to Cylvaris, but only if you convince Jion to let you go. ”
Challenge accepted.