Chapter 47 The Cat Gets Accused
The Cat Gets Accused
DELILAH
Ididn’t know Talia would bring up this ‘no sex’ thing, but it’s a great distraction from the Safe Haven garbage. It brings people around to talking about something they can plan and get involved in. She is a brilliant tactician—something Mickey says frequently, but I never see at home.
They ignore her snark because people notice the stick passing motif, and she doesn’t have it.
Tamara takes it, thinking for a moment. “Some of us may be oversharing because of peer pressure. Not that anyone is forcing it, but when you see everyone sharing the same things and buzz about how awesome it is, you unconsciously shift to writing up what you think people want to read. No one wants to bore people, or worse, get ignored.”
That’s her fucking problem? Not enough people are praising her sexcapades?!
My mate smiles at the woman for the first time. “That was well spoken and possibly true, Tamara. Thank you for pointing that out.”
I reach for the stick. The ridiculous redhead gives it to me and I wait until the murmuring stops.
“I share what I feel like sharing. If something light and happy seems right, I will share it. If something dark seems right, I share it. What I don’t want is to feel responsible for making other people change what they share.
” I wrinkle my nose and grumble. “I’d like to stop saying sharing now, if that’s okay. ”
Rita gives me a small smile. “I don’t think I’d like feeling that way, either.”
“Anything I perceive is inappropriate for the entire community, I don’t post publicly. I’ll share it privately or not at all.” Talia tilts her head, waiting for commentary on that statement.
My line’s pretty liberal, so there’s not a lot I don’t post. Well, until recently.
I was hiding Taurus for a long time to keep certain folks from losing the plot.
I’m not going to argue with that because I feel the same way—mostly.
I have to be more present than her and obviously, I’m not quite as sticky about what I believe to be too private.
But her line is valid, so I’m glad she said it.
Sari arches a brow. “I agree with Deli. I’m not willing to allow others to decide what events I write about. It’s up to each person to decide to read or delete.”
I have to hide a smile when Tamara gives the coyote a frustrated glance.
“I’m not saying the shift is anyone’s fault.
I have very sexual relationships with my family, but that’s not all I write about.
However, it’s easier to post things when people give you feedback and encouragement.
Right now, racy stuff gets the most up votes, and it’s daunting to put yourself out there without positive reinforcement. ”
Michaela holds her hand out and I hand her the stick, though I think half of this conversation has gotten away from her and all of us.
Our community problems do not hinge on people not getting enough ‘thumbs up’ symbols on our social media.
That’s not where the bodies are buried, but much like the Shane issue for Michaela, this is one for Tamara.
“I treat The Zoo like a karaoke bar. I sing, I imagine, and I drink with friends and family. Nothing more, nothing less,” the bubbly blond says. She gets up and grabs a big wad of her chocolate and flops down in her chair. “I don’t think that’s bad.”
Shit, now we’ve hit one of her land mines.
“I view it as a new ‘Dirty Deeds’. Man, I miss that place,” Tamara sighs. “It was better, but that’s how I see The Zoo.”
Lily rolls her eyes. Tamara was unwelcome at Dirty Deeds and those of us here who were welcome knew what the gossip about her was. She’s living in a dream world.
“Talia, is that all you wanted to say about a new event place?” Lily asks, directing the conversation away from a past that will get us all in trouble.
Talia nods. “I want to make friends and have fun—leave the dirty stuff at the door. I’m ready for personal issues now.”
“No, no,” I shake my head. “I want to get back to the original question: what’s wrong and how do we fix it?”
Marina raises her hand, and I blink.
Not what I expected, but okay.
“I’m not here a lot and mostly when I do share it’s with Ward. I’d like to know how to interact more with other people.”
Sari raises her hand as several people nod. She doesn’t wait for the stick; she plows through before Michaela can give it to her. “I asked that question of several people, didn’t I, Rita? I wanted to figure out how to do that.”
It takes everything in me not to double over with laughter. Sari has no—repeat, no—problem with approaching anyone or making friends. She has revealed she pre-prepped the others for this meeting, though, so I can use that.
“I chat with someone if I’m interested in what they’re doing or saying at the time. After a while, you end up friends and having adventures. That’s how it’s always worked for me,” Sari says, her eyes yellow as they glare at me.
That’s an acceptable way of saying I court them until they let Wilde fuck them, but okay.
I won’t let her provoke me, though, so I nod. “It has always worked that way in the past. People connect and if they hit it off, they continue hanging together.”
“We could go on community-wide trips like we used to!” Michaela squeals.
Christ, no, we can’t.
We did when five families lived here with fifteen people, and we only did it once.
The entire thing was such a mess that we didn’t make it to our intended destination because of all the side stops.
I swore I’d never be part of one again, even if it was when I mated with Rafe.
That kind of crowd just doesn’t make for good things, especially if they’re already complaining that not everyone gets enough attention.
Those who are not as extroverted will inadvertently get ignored in that kind of event.
“What if you don’t think you can approach them because you’re not part of their little clique?” Rita asks.
“Ah, the clique-iness,” Tamara says, sipping her wine. “Very true.”
Someone kill me now. These two are only worried about who’s popular and who’s not.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, pleading with the beast inside me to calm down.
I’d ask my husband to knock me out from afar, but he can’t.
However, if a miracle happened, and he did, I would get out of this goddamned kiddy bullshit.
I’m certain this is how Sari got Tamara and Rita on her side—she played to their FOMO and jealousy of the ‘in crowd’.
“It’s a big problem here,” Rita continues. “In fact, the biggest—if you ask me.”
“That’s why the trips were great! Everyone was together and had fun!”
Michaela, stop trying to make fetch happen.
I hear my primary laughing in my mind and I snarl in frustration.
My rage is building because I’m realizing that people I considered friends were only here for what status I gave them.
I want to find some tasty morsels and rip open their guts so I can watch them squirm.
There’s nothing out here that I can take it out on, so I funnel it away for later.
I can’t have the boys tear the house up inside if I push it along our connection.
Lily raises her hand, and Marina passes the stick.
“When I was younger, I envied my sister because of her huge friend group. They did everything together. When we got older, she confessed to me that envied my smaller group of friends because even with the size of her group, she was often lonely. They might have been flashier and more popular, but they didn’t make her feel like she had a place.
I wanted to tell you guys this because sometimes we assume people are being purposely exclusive and they’re not. ”
I nod. “While it’s true, people will hang out with their close friends out of habit—they aren’t opposed to including others.
They may think anyone who wants to take part will ask and have no idea that anyone feels left out.
I try to interact with as many people as possible.
I’m often carrying on conversations in text or email with many people daily, even while I’m working.
Most of them aren’t my family—they are friends. ”
Rita gives me a look like I’m an idiot. “Deli, from the inside, you can’t see it. From the outside, it’s apparent.”
Oh, get fucked you bitchy little whiner. I’m not responsible for people avoiding you.
Despite my reaching for the stick to respond, Sari jumps in.
“I echo what Rita is saying. When I first moved here, there was an open, inclusive atmosphere. Over time, small groups formed. I work tightly with people I trust more than others and I admit, I get locked into that group blindly. I see how it might be formidable to others. I’ve been trying to peek up from my papers and see others lately. ”
I count backwards in my head—first in English, then in French, then Spanish, then Latin, and then Greek.
When that doesn’t work, I start the alphabet.
The linguistics teacher at the Company has been working with me on increasing my language complement, so I focus on the hardest ones—Mandarin, Arabic, Hebrew, and Cantonese.
I’ll work on anything to keep from having to discuss why I’m one of the ‘mean girls’ Rita feels intimidated by.
It’s especially infuriating that Sari is agreeing as if she isn’t the one who fucking started the exclusive family groups.
When she opened ‘Dirty Deeds’, it was invite-only—Tamara would have never been allowed in if someone didn’t vouch for her.
When everyone figured out how inappropriate she was, Sari tossed the sponsoring member.
She couldn’t get rid of Tamara, and since she had a droid, she followed us to the Resistance.
Sari looks down on people more than a WASP socialite in hillbilly country.
“You have been, Sari, and thank you for that.” Rita beams at her.
I want to puke. No, really, I want to puke all over her. Even Maeve is disgusted.
“I’m always willing to hang with people. Being on the council, I have a lot on my plate and I don’t always respond right away, but I respond. I love having fun with community members. There’s been a lack of that lately—even the fun things we plan get ruined.”
I don’t glare at Sari to make my point. Instead, I nudge the flame up on the Tiki torch next to her and she yelps. Everyone looks at her and she isn’t ready with a retort.
Perfect.
“I don’t have the stick, but I’d like to ask something.
Whose responsibility is it to let everyone know that they’re willing to hang out?
Do I have to remind people at intervals?
Why do I have to remind them? I’m not the one who’s upset,” Lily asks.
She’s getting stubborn, and that means this meeting is wearing her patience thin.
She has a valid point, though; if this is all our fault for not doing certain things, who gets to decide who is at fault for the problem?
“Maybe we could mark things we’re doing with something like ‘open’ so that if anyone wants to join the adventure or party or quest, they can?” Tamara suggests.
Lily blinks and laughs. Everyone stares at her and she shakes her head. “I’m not laughing because it’s laughable. I’m laughing because it’s an interesting idea. I wouldn’t have thought of it.”
Absolutely the fuck not—that means they can jump in and do whatever they want with zero oversight.
I sigh, shaking my head as I realize this discussion will not help in the slightest because they don’t want the onus for joining to be on them.
“Playing the devil’s advocate because I like the chap…
Will people get hurt if no one joins? Will they be hurt if you have an adventure they want to join, but it’s not open?
Will someone get upset if they post ‘open’ and the right people from a ‘clique’ aren’t the ones who join? ”
My train of thought gets interrupted when the loud beep goes off and we all turn to look as Amanda makes her way up the driveway.
Shit. Just when I thought we were about fucking done.