Chapter 15
I looked down at the floor. All around me, the excitement buzzed. I could have put my hand on it, touched it, tasted it.
I wanted to be away from it. The last couple of days were crazy. Everywhere I went, I felt like I had eyes on me. The guys stuck up for me, but my mother could hardly look at me. I told her what happened, but she saw the photo.
Everyone saw that fucking photo.
Seems like you need a new nickname, Pinky said. He stopped a couple of feet away. As usual, Walker, Stringer and Fridge were arrayed behind him.
You think so? If this was high school, Id expect them to drag me out of the locker room and beat the shit out of me. This wasnt high school, this was the locker room at Chillers Stadium, in Newcastle, on game night. An away game, which was always more difficult than playing on home turf.
Yeah, Pinky said. How about… He thought for a moment. Octopus. You know what they say about them. They have eight hands. He laughed like he said something absolutely hilarious.
His friends laughed too.
Fuck off. I didnt bother to explain the truth to them. If they actually listened, they wouldnt believe me. And frankly, I didn’t give a shit what they thought anyway.
Is that what you said to her? Walker asked. Or was it yes, yes, yes!
I rolled my eyes. Just because you guys cant get laid.
Oh, we have no trouble getting laid, Stringer said with a smug smile. We just dont need to do it in public.
No one needs to know what you guys are doing with each other, Chase said as he approached, a towel over his shoulder. Thats no ones business but yours.
Pinky looked like he was ready to punch Chase in the face.
You mother fucking —
Fridge, a man so big he dwarfed most of us, and so blonde he could be an albino, pressed the back of his hand to Pinkys chest.
Leave it alone, he said in a rumble. Chase is just jealous. Now he’s tied down, he cant have fun like the rest of us.
If you dont think Im having fun, Chase said cheerfully, then you dont know what youre missing. Not that any woman would want to tie themselves down to any of you anyway.
Keep telling yourself that, Fridge said. Maybe youll believe it someday. He gave Pinky a shove and the four of them walked away.
Dont worry about them, Chase said. Theyre just trying to compensate for tiny, little penises.
I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. Thanks. But I can take care of myself.
Chase held up a hand. Sorry. I just figured they could use a little dose of reality.
I sighed and went back to bandaging my hands. I know. I wish I grabbed that phone and shoved it down Harvey Danburys throat.
You would have to get in line to do anything to him, Chase said. I dont know how the shit he does is legal. Its harassment at best, and absolute bullshit at worst.
Yeah, that just about sums it up. I got to my feet and rolled my shoulders.
Have you heard from Rubie? he asked. Or her father?
I shook my head. I keep waiting for someone to come and find me and take me to his office. Or run me over when I cross the road. I wasnt sure which one of those would be worse.
Its almost game time. Chase glanced at the clock on the wall. If he was going to do it today, he would have done it already. After a beat, he added, Its a good thing you arent crossing a road between here and the field.
Ha ha, I said humourlessly. Its not too late for him or Rubie to slip something into my drink.
Neither of them would do that, Chase said. Bam on the other hand…
He would absolutely do that, I agreed. Probably a laxative.
We started walking towards the doorway which led out onto the field. Usually Id be full of excitement. The roar of the crowd ringing in my ears, the adrenaline, the anticipation. I lived for days like this.
Today, I bet way too many people in the crowd had seen that photo. Some would probably think I was some kind of hero. Someone exciting they could try their luck with, like—what was her name? Madisin. Like she had.
The rest— Football was supposed to be something people of all ages could watch. Players were supposed to be role models children could look up to. Those were the people I was worried about.
Theyd believe what Danbury wrote about me. I doubted there was anything I could do that would restore my reputation after this.
I took a deep breath before I stepped out onto the field.
The crowd roared. Applause, cheers, and jeers. The last one was for us, the visiting team. The cheers resounded with the name of our opposition, who also jogged around the field, warming up. The Newcastle Chillers were going to be tough to beat.
Of course, that was to be expected at this time of the season. We wouldnt be here if we weren’t all the best of the best. One of us would end up the third-best of the best.
That had to be the Chillers. Wed come too far to be out now.
Adrenaline surged through me. The need to win, even if it meant smashing the other team out of the way.
Weve got this, Hawk said, coming to jog beside us.
Of course we do, Chase said. No doubt in my mind. The Chillers dont stand a chance. We are going to leave them a smear on the field.
Amen to that, Bam said as he joined us.
Only if Octopus doesnt fuck up, Pinky said as he jogged past.
If Id ever been tempted to trip anyone, it would be right now. Of course Id have thousands of witnesses, and their phones to see me do it.
Id be lucky to escape an assault charge.
You worry about your own game, Hawk called out after him.
Were all under a lot of pressure, I said. It weighed on all of us, not just me. I felt like the whole world was watching. Every single Rapids fan in the stadium, and watching on TV, were relying on us.
This wasnt even the biggest game of the year, but it suddenly felt like it.
My gaze wandered up the stands, to the private boxes. I knew Rubie didnt like football, but was she in there, watching? Carson Thomas would be. He was probably glaring daggers at me right now.
The pressure increased a thousandfold.
I jogged past a handful of kids who waved like crazy and grinned at me. I smiled and waved back. At least they didnt care what I had or had not done. Or that some asshole reporter was trying to drag my name through the mud.
They also didnt care that I missed Rubie like a starving man missed a hamburger. She was tastier than a hamburger.
Hey, Earth to Ollie, Earth to Ollie. Chase snapped his fingers in front of my face.
I waved his hand away. What?
Were heading back to the locker room now, he said.
I had a feeling he said it a couple of times, but I was lost in thought.
Right, I said as if Id actually been paying attention. I turned and jogged back toward the entrance with the rest of the team.
The next few minutes went in a haze. I found myself on the field, snapping the ball towards Hawk. At least that was the theory. The ball slipped out of my hand and went wide.
What the fuck, dude?
I dont know who said that. It didnt matter. The opposition grabbed the ball and bolted with it. The whole play we had planned before the beginning of the game went down the toilet.
The Chillers scored a touchdown in the first few minutes of the game. My heart sank right down to my boots. That was never a good sign. It screwed with morale. It certainly screwed with mine.
I knew exactly who they would blame for this. I had no one to point the finger at but myself.
The rest of the first half of the game went just as well as the first few minutes. After the third bad snap, the coach took me off the field. He should have done that after the first one, but he had faith in me.
I let him down. I let them all down. I slumped onto the bench, my eyes to the ground.
Unlike me, my replacement was on the ball. Literally and figuratively. By halftime, the Rapids were trailing by only a couple of points.
I pulled off my helmet and ran a hand over my sweaty hair. If the team won the game, it would be in spite of me.
I know what they say, no team consists of just one person, but it only takes one to screw up badly enough to ruin it for everyone else.
I was tempted to get up and walk out right now. Have a shower, go home, never look back. That would not go unnoticed. The field day the reporters were already having would continue on for longer. Id probably spend the rest of my life fielding questions about it. Not to mention I had a contract.
I set my helmet down on my lap and focused on the game.
Once I put aside some of my self-pity, I saw the guys were playing exceptionally well. They should, every single one of them knew their stuff, even Pinky Innocenti and his dickhead friends.
Now I had time to think about it, maybe Octopus wasnt such a bad nickname after all. Certainly better than Gods Gift. I mean, a football player with four arms and four legs was a good thing, wasnt it?
So they meant the name as an insult, that didnt mean I couldnt embrace and put my own spin on it. That would wipe the smug grins off their faces.
I almost smiled at the thought of it.
The siren signalled halftime and the crowd went crazy. Most were cheering for the home side, but plenty were shouting, Rapids, Rapids, Rapids.
I managed a faint smile and a wave as I jogged into the locker rooms with the rest of my team.
What was that? Hawk pulled off his helmet and eyed me.
I shrugged. I dunno. Just one of those things. We all have off days. Remember the time Bam couldn’t catch a ball to save his life? I sounded more bitter than I intended.
Hawk slapped me on the back. Save the aggression for the field. Im worried about you, okay?
I exhaled. Sorry dude. I just… I dont know. I hate screwing up that bad.
I know you do, he said. We all do. But this is do or die. We dont have room for mistakes. He gave me a curt nod, turned and walked off to get a bottle of water.
Tucker, the coach called out, get your ass over here.
Yeah, I was in trouble. I deserved it.
I tucked my helmet under my arm and trudged over. He was probably going to tear me a new one too, but as pissed off with me as he might be, he wasnt as pissed off with me as I was with myself.