Chapter 18
Shit.
What bet? Ollie asked. He looked from me to my father and back again.
Dad was talking quietly to Skye and sipping on the drink one of his assistants had bought him. He seemed oblivious to the nuclear bomb he just dropped in the middle of my fragile relationship.
Rubie? Ollies brow crinkled.
Maybe we should go somewhere quiet, I suggested. I gave my dad a look full of thunder which he either ignored or didnt see. Did he have a clue what hed just done? I said Id be honest with Ollie, but this was something else. This was something between Dad and I. Truthfully, Id forgotten all about it. Until now.
Ollie hesitated for a moment, then he nodded. Okay. He looked like he might say more, but he didnt. Instead, he stood and offered me his hand.
I took it and hoped this wouldnt be the last time.
We wove our way through the crowds and out the door. The night air was cold, but refreshing after the stuffy heat inside the bar.
We walked down to the end of the block and Ollie drew us to a stop.
So, what is this about a bet? he asked insistently. From the look on your face, it must be a big deal.
I glanced away. Call me a coward, but I couldnt look at his face while I told him about this.
Dad wants me to take over ownership of the Rapids, I said.
Okay, he said slowly. So youd be my boss? He smiled but it didnt smooth the furrow in his brow.
I poked at a crack in the pavement with the toe of my shoe. I guess so. I mean yes but…
But? he prompted. But you made a bet?
I looked over at him. The words came out in a rush. I bet that if you won the Down Under Bowl, Id take over the team and he could move to Queensland with whats-her-name.
For some reason he looked slightly annoyed at that. Skye?
I waved a hand. Yes, her.
And if we lost? His eyes were intent on me.
I swallowed. Then he would sell the team.
He looked away and shook his head, clearly confused. Then it dawned on him. He looked back at me sharply.
You bet we would lose? He sounded so hurt my heart ached.
I wanted to reach out to him. I sensed now wasnt the time. I?—
Shit
How did I explain this? This was before?—
Before we made up? When you were pissed off at me? His whole body looked tense. I saw in his face that he was hoping Id agree.
It was before that, I admitted. Before I knew who you were. You know the team isnt my thing?—
He interrupted me. So you bet against us?
At the time I thought I was betting against a team you were just a fan of, I argued.
So this is my fault? he snapped.
A flash of anger flared through me. No. This had nothing to do with you.
This is what I do for a living. His voice was low, soft, but furious. Id say betting against me winning the biggest game of my entire life is about me. You really hate the idea of being around us that much?
I took a step back. The team is your thing. My fathers thing. Not mine. Its not what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Have you told your father that? he asked.
I slapped a hand to my forehead. Fuck in a bucket, why didnt I think of that? I lowered my hand. I have. Repeatedly. Its his lifes ambition to see me follow in his footsteps.
Ollie exhaled loudly. He took a few steps away from me, his expression guarded.
I didnt mean to hurt you, I said. It was just a silly bet. One my father was going to win anyway. Wasnt he?
I think youre missing the point, he said. If we lose, your father will sell the team to fuck only knows who. If we win, well have an owner that doesnt give a shit about us. Do you know what that would do to morale?
He paced a few steps away and back again. You see how enthusiastic and passionate your father is. That pushes us harder and further.
Im not my father, I said coolly.
That much is abundantly clear, he said coldly. Look, Im not expecting you to do cartwheels on the sidelines every game. But if your heart isnt in it…. He shook his head. Maybe wed be better off if we lost. He looked defeated.
That is such shit, I snapped. Knowing you has changed everything. If I take over the team, then we can see each other every day. Your enthusiasm, your passion is infectious. My breath made mist in the air.
Even if the team isnt your thing? he asked.
Im not too old to learn, I said quickly. After a moment of silence, I sighed. You probably think what everyone else does. That Im a spoiled brat.
He raised an eyebrow at me. Of course I dont. I think youre a strong woman who knows what you want. You dont want to deal with troublemakers, like Bam. He smiled slightly.
I mean, youre not wrong, I said. But as long as youre involved, then thats where I want to be.
He paused for approximately three hundred and twenty-two years. Then he shook his head slowly.
My mother always said that love meant accepting the person for who they are, not changing them, not even trying to. I feel like if you took on the team, youd be doing it to please me, and your father. The team deserves better than that.
Your mother is wise, I said. He was right though, the team did deserve better.
Where do we go from here? I asked.
I dont know, he admitted. I fully intend to do everything I can to make sure we win. After that… He looked down at the pavement.
Are you saying I shouldnt honour my side of the bet? I buried my hands in my pockets and shivered. Only part of it was from the cold. The rest was from the expression on his face.
Im saying you probably shouldnt make any life decisions based on a bet. He looked up at me.
Is that wisdom from your mother too? I wondered what it would be like to have a close relationship with my mother, like he seemed to with his. I envied him that.
He smiled faintly. No, that was all me.
They do say the center is the smartest guy on the field, I pointed out.
That sounds accurate, he said modestly.
I snorted, but smiled. He was one of the wisest guys I knew.
Should we go back inside? I asked. Its cold out here.
You go back in, he said, I need some time to think.
My heart sank. I wished I hadnt made that stupid bet in the first place. I should have known it would be nothing but trouble. After all, people were bound to ask questions about why my dad was suddenly selling the team, if he did. Knowing him, hed probably tell them the truth.
Are you sure? You probably shouldnt be alone right now. I wanted to reach out for his hand, pull him to me, drag him off to my hotel room and make love to him all night long.
Ill be fine. I wont be long. I just need to clear my head. He tucked his hands into his armpits.
Im sorry, I said. It was never meant to be… I didnt know how to finish that sentence. When I made the bet with Dad, I meant it. I was done with his team, and everything to do with it.
Now, I actually felt like I was a part of something. Something big. Something amazing.
And, typically, in my usual Rubie Thomas style, Id fucked it up.
Yeah, he said unconvinced. Im sure it wasnt.
Are you going to tell everyone? I looked up at him, silently pleading with him not to make this worse than it already was.
I dont know, he admitted. I mean, not now. Not until after. In a way, I think they deserve to know. Dont you?
Oh, dont know, I said lightly. Maybe Im a believer in what I dont know doesnt hurt me. It was how my father lived his life and he was happy at least some of the time.
I dont believe that for a second. A few hours ago, we were talking about honesty. He cocked his head at me. Tell me something, would you have told me about the bet? If your father hadnt?
That was a good question.
I dont know, I admitted. I forgot about it until Dad mentioned it. Ive had a lot of other things on my mind.
But you would have remembered it sooner or later, he pressed. What would you have done then?
I dont know, I said again. It all seems childish now.
We can agree on that. He pulled a hand out of his pocket and ran it over his forehead. The guys have bet on dumber things, like who could belch the loudest.
But knowing I bet against your team stings, I stated. You think I dont have faith in you?
Do you? he asked.
Of course I do, I said firmly. I bet the Rapids will win the Down Under Bowl.I put a hand over my mouth. Between my spread fingers I said, Im not making a literal bet. Ive learned my lesson.
Youre shivering, he pointed out. Go back inside. Get warm. Ill be there soon.
Do you promise? I asked.
Id pinky promise, he said dryly, but that doesnt seem as cool as it used to, for some reason.
I gave him a questioning look, but he just shook his head.
It doesnt matter, he said. Go on; I wont be far behind.
I hated leaving him standing there. Much more than that, I hated the fact that I’d rattled his confidence. When we finally seemed to be on the right track, now we were off on the sidelines, in the stands, under a chair with bubblegum stuck to it.
I made a face at my own thoughts. Reluctantly, I nodded, turned and headed back to the bar.
The walk back took longer than the one to the corner. It felt like a walk of shame.
I didnt want to be around anyone right now. No one except for Ollie. I wanted to look back over my shoulder, but if I did, hed see the tears in my eyes. Hed see one slide down my cold cheek.
Maybe it was what I deserve for being a spoiled brat. Ollie was way too good for me. The Rapids were way too good for me. That was one reason I didn’t want to take over the team. I wasnt up to it.
What was I good for? Taking photos of myself so a bunch of strangers could look at my empty, vacuous life.
I stopped near the door to the bar. The sounds from inside were joyful. Laughter. Singing. Talking. Enjoyment.
I didnt want to deal with any of that right now. Id only bring everyone down with my long face. Besides, if I went in there Id probably tear Dad a new one for telling Ollie about the bet. Id let him enjoy his night. Tomorrow, Id growl at him.
I tucked my hands into my pockets, ducked my head down and walked past the door, toward my hotel.