32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Scarlett
A little squeal escapes, and I squeeze the throw pillow tightly before turning the TV off.
I’m still buzzing from Steven using Uncle Dunky’s secret signal during the game.
I had completely forgotten we even had one.
But tonight, watching the Wolverines win another tight game, and Steven doing it, the memory came flooding back.
I still can’t get over Uncle Dunky giving Steven that little tidbit of information, or the fact that Steven actually did it…
A smile splits my face, and I flop on the couch.
Picking up my phone, I pull up Steven’s contact. My finger hovers over the call button. I know he won’t be able to pick up with only a few hours before heading to the airport for their flight home.
Even if that wasn’t the case, I have no idea what I want to say. I mean, what do you say to someone who basically admitted they love you in front of millions of people?
And is that something you want to say over text?
Staring at the open text, I say what I’ve always said.
Scarlett:
Great game, Bennett!
Without taking my eyes from the screen, I wait for those three little dots to appear. I pull the pillow closer when they don’t
Last Friday, the moment his lips touched mine, I accepted, without guilt, that I am head over heels in love with my best friend.
And denying my feelings because of a promise I made isn’t going to change the fact that the first time Steven smiled at me in grade school, my little girl's heart flipped.
Or the fact that it still happens when he looks at me a certain way.
Maybe Mr. Bennett really was talking about me with Steven? Maybe he saw what we had before I was willing to admit it to myself?
Pulling my lip between my teeth, I suck in a breath.
My hand rests on my chest, wanting those words to be true. Because the thought of Steven kissing anyone else…
A cold chill moves down my spine, making me shiver. Wrapping my arms around my middle, I squeeze.
After what he did on the ice tonight, for me, I couldn’t deny how I feel, even if I wanted to.
Logging into my PinesAndPossibility account, I pull up the email I’ve been ignoring for days, and read it again.
The words I need to say are so simple:
It’s Scarlett.
I’m sorry I lied.
The promise I made was to your father.
I’m in love with you.
Can you forgive me?
But I’ve dug a hole so deep that I’m uncertain I’ll be able to dig myself out of it with the truth. What if I’ve already buried myself too deep?
Falling back on the couch, I shove the pillow over my face and scream.
What would I do if things were reversed? What if Steven made a promise to my mother? And he did all of this?
Would I forgive him?
In a heartbeat.
But he’d definitely get an earful first.
I can handle an earful.
I think.
Tossing the throw pillow aside, I call the person who encouraged me to get into this mess.
Miles.
“Hey Scarlett.”
“I can’t do this anymore,” I blurt out. “I need your help to come up with a good response that says I’m done.”
“Done with what?”
“Oh come on, Miles. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“Do you always call people and talk cryptically?” Miles scoffs. “I’m not Steven. Unlike him, I can’t read your mind.”
Thank goodness for that!
“I’m done with being ‘PinesAndPossibility’.”
“What? Why?” His shock surprises me. “Are things not going well?”
Huffing out a breath, I blow at the hair in front of my face. “Let’s see. I’m pretending to be someone else, all while pretending that I know who the person is. Not to mention lying to the person I love. So no—”
“Wait! Are you finally admitting you’re in love with my brother?” I internally groan and curse my wayward tongue. “Awww Scar. You don’t know how happy this makes me.”
I wave my hand in front of my burning face, glad Miles can’t see me.
“Did you finally come to the realization that my dad was talking about you and my brother?”
“I don’t know.” I say, nibbling the inside of my cheek.
“But I know it would crush me if I had to see Steven kissing someone else.” Wrapping an arm around my belly, I squeeze, trying to get rid of the gut punch that comes with that image.
“But I can’t imagine your father wanting me to do something that leaves me devastated either. ”
Shooting up from the couch, I start pacing the living room. “That’s assuming that what I saw tonight means Steven loves me too.”
“Are you seriously doubting that?” Miles chuckles. “After that corny thing he did for the world to see?”
A goofy grin slides across my face, and tiny flutters spread throughout my chest.
“Maybe a little?” I squeak, making Miles snort. “But seriously, Miles, will Steven hate me when he finds out what I did?”
Plopping on the couch, I drop my head in my hands. “I might hate myself. How can he not?” My fingers dig into my hair. “Great! I realize I love him only so he can hate me. Thanks Miles.”
“Hey! Don’t go blaming me. I suggested you just tell him how you feel, remember? But noooo—”
“Oh hush!” I run my hand through my hair while Miles scoffs. “I need your help ending things with this whole email charade.”
“Now you expect me to help you after blaming me—”
“Should I come clean with the whole thing?” I continue talking as if he hadn’t said anything, chewing my thumbnail. “Or do I just tell him ‘I’m sorry, it’s me, not you’?”
“It’s impossible for me to believe you actually match people when you come up with the worst plans. Please, please, please tell me you don’t actually suggest that people say those things.”
“Miles, I’m dying,” I grumble, completely stuck in the fear of losing Steven, after just realizing I need him. “Why did I ever listen to you?”
“I’m going to forgive you for saying that because I know you’re not yourself right now.” I roll my eyes at the sarcasm in his voice. “But honestly, Scarlett, I think you’re overreacting.”
“How would you feel if this happened to you?”
“We’re not talking about me. I don’t have a best friend I’ve secretly been in love with for almost my entire life.”
“What if you did?” My tone pleading. “Would you hate them if they plotted something like this?”
“Hate is a strong word, Scarlett.”
“But would you?”
He blows out a long sigh that has my breath catching. “If I had a best friend, and they did this to me. I might be a tiny bit upset.”
“I knew it.” I grab the pillow and cover my face.
“But I’m pretty sure I’d get over it once I found out about what my dad asked of them.”
“Really?” My voice is muffled with my head still covered.
“Yes, really.” I can hear the smile in Miles’ voice, and the tightness gripping my chest loosens. “Besides, Steven knows how dramatic you are.”
I gasp. “You know that’s an awful thing to say, right?”
“Can you sincerely tell me that after this conversation you aren’t dramatic?”
My open mouth snaps shut, because he’s definitely not wrong.
“You know you’re like a sister to me,” He chuckles. “But I am so happy that I grew up with only brothers.”
A snort escapes, and I shake my head. “Well, since we’ve established that I have been a bit dramatic, can you help me come up with a response?”
He chuckles, and my mouth twitches.
“Please?” I place the palms of my hands together.
“Don’t say I never gave you anything.”
A few minutes later, I have my email compiled. Now all I have to do is hit send. “Are you sure this is all I should say? Shouldn’t I explain the rest?”
“It’s what you say for now,” He says confidently. “The rest is best said in person.”
I nod, blow out a slow breath, and read over the email one last time.
From: [email protected]: [email protected]
Hey there!
I want to apologize for taking so long to respond to your last email. I was having a tough time trying to put what was floating around in my head into words.
You’re a great guy, but I’m the wrong girl for you. I’m in love with someone else. My best friend, to be precise.
I can’t say I was fully aware of how I felt when I started talking to you, but I can say I definitely wasn’t being honest with myself about the feelings I did have.
I am truly sorry if you felt like you were misled.
Please forgive me.
I wish you all the best.
Sincerely, PinesAndPossibility
P.S. Looks like Emma was wrong after all. Go figure.
Knee bouncing, I sigh. Heart racing, and hand trembling, I hit send.
“Thanks Miles.”
“Anytime—”
“Not anytime. We are never doing this again.”
His laughter bellows through the phone, and my mouth curves up.
“Night, Scarlett.”
Staring at the inbox on my computer, my apartment is so quiet that the only thing I can hear is my heart pounding. Wiping my palms against my pants, I push off the couch and head to my bedroom to get ready for bed.