Snapshot

39. Reese

Winnie is a closet hoarder. She’s not even been at college long and yet her closet is full of the most random shit; I found the skateboard she swore she was going to use and begged her parents for on her tenth birthday. I’ve never seen her skateboard a day in her life.

She has photo album upon photo album. Some with pictures from before she was even born that her parents must have taken, and others that she put together. I’m in a lot of those ones. I fucking love that most of her childhood memories involve me, and I’m equally thankful mine involve her.

I don’t know where I would be without Winnie.

As I’m flipping through the final photo album, I stop on a photo of all four Lewises and me. I think it was taken on Thanksgiving, based on Mr. Lewis’s turkey sweater. I run my finger over the photo, and my heart clenches. Every time I think about Mr. Lewis, I can’t help but think about how proud he would be of both his kids, and how much his son needs him.

Elijah is lost, and I know Winnie worries about her brother more than she lets on. That’s why she doesn’t want to tell him about us or our baby. He’s already on the edge, and she knows that would push him over. I can appreciate Winnie looking out for him, but what’s the cost? Not being able to live her life how she wants, or live it in secret? Sneaking around. If he knew, I could be eating dinner with them right now instead of stuck in her room.

I won’t pressure Winnie to tell him. But boy, I can’t wait. I miss Mrs. Lewis and her infectious laugh. She was the mom I never had and always wanted. When she could have hated me and pushed me out of their life for what my dad did, she pulled me closer, and I’ll forever be grateful for her. Even after Elijah cut me out, Mrs. Lewis checked in on me every holiday, birthday, and the months in between. I’ve never told Winnie that, and I won’t, but her mom was the one who kept me updated on her. I don’t remember how I got to that point, but there was a night last year when I called her and spilled everything—besides me actually fucking her daughter when I did. Even drunk Reese knew better than to tell her that much. However, I did tell her how much I missed Winnie and how Elijah being cold to me fucking sucked. Not my proudest moment, but the next day, I woke up to a package of Tylenol and beef jerky on my doorstep.

She gets me a gift for my birthday and Christmas every year, and I do the same for her, and I know if Winnie were to tell her about us, she’d be so fucking happy for us. Winnie needs to see that it’s okay to be with me.

Which is why I stay seated on the bed when Winnie texts me a very panicked hide!

“Okay, Mom. I’ll show you my room!”

Winnie needs to take up acting lessons if she’s going to continue this charade because ouch, her acting is painful.

Something slams into the door, and Winnie laughs. “I’m just so clumsy. Okay, let’s go inside.”

Oh my God.

The door creaks open, and Winnie sticks her head in first, her eyes rounding when she sees me sitting on her bed like it’s the most normal thing, and to me, it is. I’ve been sitting on Winnie Lewis’s bed for ages. Even if we weren’t together right now, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal. At least to her mom, and thank fuck it’s only her mom who walks through the door.

Her eyebrows shoot up her forehead much like her daughter’s. She glances behind her and closes the door. A cheeky smile splits her face as she looks from her daughter to me.

“Reese Larson.” She tsks. “Thought I was past finding you sneaking around my daughter’s room. Get over here and give me a hug.”

Winnie’s mouth drops. I pull Mrs. Lewis in for a hug, or more so she pulls me in like I’m a little boy and not a good several inches taller than her. Her soft body is like a hit of comfort that I haven’t had in a while.

“What the hell are you doing?” Winnie hisses.

“Winnie Lewis.” Her mom scolds, and I stick out my tongue at her. It really is like we are kids when her mom is around.

I drape my arm over Mrs. Lewis’s shoulders and place my hand on my hip much like her mom is doing.

“You have a lot to tell me, sweetheart.”

Winnie smacks her hand to her face and grumbles under her breath. I’m sure cursing my name in the mix of things.

Mrs. Lewis smiles at me and lifts an eyebrow. “You treating my daughter well?”

“I’d dream of nothing else.”

She pinches my cheeks. “I know you wouldn’t. Such a nice boy.”

Damn straight, I’m a nice boy.

Winnie groans like an embarrassed teen, and I give in trying to prove her wrong. I let go of her mom to wrap her into my hold instead. I kiss the top of her head, and her mom squeals. This is exactly what Winnie needed to see—someone who would be happy for us—and now she has, so I’m not sorry at all. She might be mad at me, but I know what’s good for her.

“I take it Elijah isn’t aware, and that’s why you are hiding out back here?”

I nod.

“Mm-hmm, well. I’m certainly not going to tell him, but you should, sweetheart.” She takes her daughter’s hands, forcing Winnie to look at her. The love that flows from these two is everything I want for our daughter and any future kids, and I know it’s everything they will get. Winnie loves harder than anyone I know. “Elijah loves you.”

“I know, but he hates Reese.”

Ouch, but she’s not wrong.

“Yes, well, he’s going to have to get over it eventually, isn’t he?”

God, I love Mrs. Lewis.

The past few Thanksgivings have been spent alone, and it’s not really bothered me. This time, though, it fucking sucks. Mrs. Lewis texted me, inviting me to join them, but I politely declined. Winnie isn’t ready for that just yet, and I don’t want to ruin her holiday. I told her and Winnie I was thinking about heading to see my mom, but I’m definitely not going to be doing that. I haven’t spoken to my mom in months, and the last time was for her to tell me she needed her lawn mowed. Something I can’t do from three hours away, but she wasn’t asking me to do it. She was asking me to pay to have it done. Which I did.

I pull my stick back and bring it forward, sending the puck sailing right into the net.

Coach gave me a key to the rink after I became captain, and when I’m avoiding my problems, this is where I come to clear my head.

Slap shot after slap shot, but I swear time hardly ticks by. There’s so much going on in my life, but it feels like not enough. My girlfriend is pregnant, due in seven short months that I know will fly by, and we’ve not talked about anything that comes with that. Where we are going to live since I refuse to live apart. Winnie is going to need help, and I’ll be damned if I’m not that help. The baby is half mine. I’m going to do my part.

Ideally, I’d like to marry Winnie—not for the traditional aspect but because a lot comes with marriage. My life insurance, my savings, my last name. She’s not mentioned what name she plans on giving our daughter, but I really hope it’s mine—the name she will one day share. If she wants to hyphenate, that’s fine, I just want to be involved.

Winnie giggles every time I say daughter, and I don’t know how I know, but I just know that baby inside of her is my little girl. I can feel it.

What names does Winnie like? Honestly, I’ve not even thought about names, but that’s something I want to do with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, we never get the time to. I see her at practice, she comes over when she can, and we talk on the phone, but it’s not enough time to discuss everything.

Maybe it would be if every time I got her in my room I didn’t shove my dick into her immediately, but fuck if it’s not hard. She’s just starting to show now, and every time I see her swollen stomach, it cranks me, hard. Plus, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or what, but Winnie is nearly panting when practice ends. Last weekend I had to fuck her in an abandoned closet after the game because she looked ready to burst, and fuck if I’m not going to satisfy my girl when she needs it.

Then there’s the part I would never weigh Winnie down with, but my dad pops into my head every time I think of myself being a father. Winnie said I’ve proved that I’m nothing like him already, and she’s right, but it doesn’t make that fear of what I can become go away. When that guy knocked my girl over, everything besides making him bleed left my head. I’ve woken up in the middle of a nightmare a few times, where the refs didn’t pull me off and I killed him. As much as I would have liked to in that moment, what would that say about me? Nothing good. What kind of dad kills people?

My father, that’s who.

I pull my stick back, but instead of making another shot, I break it over my knee and chuck the pieces across the ice.

I hate who I share blood with, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

The thought of my kids growing up to hate me the way I hate my blood is crippling. This isn’t something I can share with Winnie, though, because she would simply assure me I’m nothing like him.

Winnie sees the best in me. I’m sure my mom saw the good in my dad at one point too.

I skate over to the bench and drop onto it, then lower my head to my hands.

“What a way to spend Thanksgiving.”

I jump at the voice, looking up at Winnie standing in the doorway. Relief floods through me like it does every time she’s around.

Winnie is my home. Safe, welcoming, and mine.

I open my arms, and she walks my way on shaky legs. She straddles me, and I bury my face into her warm neck.

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Sawyer.”

She pushes back and nods, and I follow and find Sawyer, Laney, Emma, and Schmidt leaning against the wall.

“What are they doing here?”

Winnie shrugs. “Sawyer and Emma’s parents are on some kind of vacation.” Like usual. “Schmidt snuck away from his family, and I don’t know about Laney, but they were all at the apartments when I went there.”

“You went looking for me?”

She blows out a shallow breath. “Yeah. I feel like the worst girlfriend ever, leaving you to celebrate on your own. I knew you were lying when you said you might go see your mom, and it ate at me all day.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Win. I know you’re in a tough spot.”

She shakes her head. “Not tough enough to have my boyfriend spend his favorite holiday alone.”

“You remember.” A grin tugs on my lips, and it’s funny how ten minutes ago, I didn’t feel like smiling at all, but two minutes around Winnie, and here we are.

“Of course I remember.” Winnie frowns. She sinks her fingers through my hair and tugs my lips to hers. “I remember everything about you, Reese Larson.”

I only get a small kiss, and then she pushes away, but I don’t think she wanted to.

“I’m going to tell Elijah soon.”

My eyebrows raise.

“But,” she adds, “I’m afraid he might kick me out. I’ve already talked to Laney and Emma, and they said I could stay with them.”

“No.” I shake my head. “You can come live with me.”

“I don’t play sports.”

“Neither does Schmidt.” Which I am still curious about how he ended up in my apartment, but whatever.

“Still, it wouldn’t be fair for your roommates.”

“Then we can start looking for our own place.” In fact, why hadn’t I thought about that sooner? We don’t have to live at the dorms after sophomore year, but there was no point in getting my own place and paying before. Things are different now, though.

“We can after the school year.”

“Winnie—”

She places a finger over my lips and giggles the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. “Just listen. I’ll live with Emma and Laney, they will have a whole extra room here soon because their third roommate is transferring next semester. After finals, we will start looking, and I’m sure something will come up shortly because of people moving out.”

She’s forgotten one big detail. “You are due in June, Winnie.”

“I know. That’s why after the year, I’m going to move home with Mom.”

I open my mouth, but she is quick to cover it with both hands. “Only until we get a place. I told Mom today, and she’s so excited. She will love me and our daughter being there.”

“Daughter?” I mumble against her hands.

She smirks. “I decided to give in and listen to you.”

Finally.

She lowers her hands, and I suck in a breath.

“I love that you have thought everything through, but you forgot one thing.”

She tilts her head in the cutest way.

“How stubborn your boyfriend is. I refuse to live apart. The guys love you and will have no issues with you being around. If you want to live with Laney and Emma for a few months—until I get us a place and before school ends—fine, but I want your phone on you at all times and your location in case you need me so I can be there. Your mom can come stay the summer, hell she can move in with us, but Winnie, I swear to fuck, no one can keep me from being with you and our baby.”

Winnie sniffles, and before I know it, she bursts into tears. She throws her arms around me, and I squeeze her, but I’m not sure why she’s crying.

Eventually, she pulls away with red eyes and a quivering lip. “I’m sorry, I’m a mess.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“Yeah.” She sniffles again. “I spent all day trying to come up with the perfect plan that didn’t require your life to change much.”

Silly girl.

“I want my life to change, Winnie. Maybe other guys would feel differently, but I couldn’t be more excited to be a dad and play house with you.”

She groans and drops her forehead to my chest. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

“I remember everything.”

Winnie curls into my chest and places a chaste kiss on my throat just under my Adam’s apple. “I can’t wait to play house with you either, Reese.”