Chapter 9 Elana
I take a large bite of vegan pancakes. Rotten wasn’t lying when he said we’d be well fed aboard The Defiant.
But I feel so jumpy, I almost can’t enjoy the hot fluffy carbs on my plate.
I pour on some more syrup. That will help.
I feel like a coward and a fool for rushing out of Rotten’s quarters the way I did.
I’m confident he won’t think I’m clingy, which is great, but he probably thinks I’m weird or heartless.
I have no idea how he feels, except that he really seemed to enjoy sleeping with me. I enjoyed it too. Maybe enjoyed is the wrong word.
I’m jumpy because I’m trying to figure out how to contain all these feelings.
I can’t tell him, can I? Will he run screaming away from me?
Will he take what he wants from me, then leave me when he’s done?
I don’t think I could handle the heartbreak.
But is it really better to avoid him and not try?
Can I really shut the door on the possibility that he could feel the same?
All this drama is happening in my head while I eat on the small kitchen deck near our quarters.
Justine sits with me at the picnic-style table.
She’s been very quiet since getting aboard.
Maybe she’s still processing everything that happened.
Well, I’m not going to be the one that interrupts her silence.
I’ll just enjoy the quiet and hope my overexcited nerves calm down.
But it doesn’t last long. Kyla and Koreen burst into the kitchen deck and their loud conversation can’t be ignored.
“It ate the whole planet!” Kyla says.
“I thought it just took a bite.” Koreen replies.
“No, it gulped the whole thing down. And now there’s nothing left. You heard about those planets that went missing in Pantheon 7. Well, whatever swallowed them up is in our galaxy now.”
“Maybe Xanx will be next.”
“Naw, it’s too big.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. It’s just figures that it wouldn’t fit.”
“Like you’re any judge of that.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Justine interjects.
Kyla turns to her with glittering eyes.
“Something gobbled up the planet Xanxes 8. It’s a little one, but still, a whole planet,” she says.
“And Mia was there. Our Mia from the show was somehow over there with The Adventure’s co-pilot. They escaped before the planet disappeared,” Koreen adds.
Justine shivers. My chest constricts. Mia was on the planet that got eaten. I’m relieved she got away from The Adventure, but then to have to escape this ship-eating mystery craft, too. It’s bananas!
Is this somehow tied to the show and all the disasters we’ve experienced? I’ve got to know more. I want to investigate for myself, but how? Should I just walk up to the IES and say let me help? There’s no way that will work.
Rotten. He’s got a ship, a crew, and no one to answer to. Could I convince him to join me? There’s probably no benefit to him, so it may be a hard sell. Regardless, this would be a perfect excuse to talk to him. I put down my fork and rush out the door.
I find Rotten in the seating area next to the bridge. As soon as he sees me, he puts down the biocomm in his hands and shoots to his feet.
“Did you hear about the planet?” His eyes sparkle with excitement.
This isn’t the reaction I was expecting from him, but it’s like a balm to my frayed nerves.
“I did! Can you believe it?” I ask, feeling my energy returning.
“I can’t believe it,” he says. “Where should we begin? I want to get out there and find out why this is happening.”
I notice he said “we.” I think this means he’s not done with me yet. I’m definitely not done with him. I can’t keep my enthusiasm from bubbling over. I step closer to him as I speak.
“You want to investigate? So do I. Can we head over to the Calyx quadrant now?”
He’s about to say yes, I can tell he is. Then his expression changes.
“Not yet. We’ve got to go to Lemargo first. I have some business to take care of. And of course I’ve got to drop off my passengers.”
Damn, that includes me.
“Oh yeah, of course,” I say. “I guess that means I won’t be going with you.”
“You don’t have to leave. You can stay with me and the crew.” His eyes are alight with hope. Maybe he really does want me to stay.
“I can? Awesome. But–” I was about to ask about how his crew will feel, but he doesn’t let me finish.
“Don’t worry. Just because you’re staying doesn’t mean you’ll have to deal with my, uh, advances. We had our fun. We can put that in the past and focus on solving this mystery together. Like partners. Unless you want something more. That would be good too.”
“Partners,” I whisper, getting used to the idea.
Rotten looks nervous now, like he fears he’s overstepped.
“Yeah. Partners. But with no obligations or misunderstandings or anything. How does that sound?”
“Good?” It comes out as sort of a question. Does he want to sleep with me again or not? I don’t have the words to ask. At least I’ll get to be his no-obligation partner for the time being. Too bad my heart wants more.