Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MAYA
After what seems like forever, I’m released from debriefing and head to the SUV.
I remember I left my phone in the cargo area on silent.
I open up the hatch and grab it. It's dead now, so I plug it in.
As the screen lights up, I see there are literally over one hundred text messages and multiple voicemails.
Wow, he doesn't give up easily. I guess I gotta face him now.
I'll just make a clean break. Okay, yeah, I'm a chickenshit, I text him instead.
Me
Duncan, let's just be friends. You and I as a couple weren't going to work anyway.
I wait for the response, but nothing comes, so I head home.
Derek went out with some friends. I park the SUV in the garage and head up to my condo.
Sitting by my door is a bouquet of flowers.
I pull my sidearm and check my surroundings.
This shit's getting serious. Someone was on my floor again.
I have a penthouse apartment. No one should be up here unless I let them.
I reach into the pocket of my cargo pants and pull out a black latex-free glove.
This bouquet has a ribbon, maybe we’ll get lucky and find prints on it.
I carefully lift the bouquet and walk into my condo and straight to the kitchen, where I pull out a bag and drop the flowers into it.
I dial the number I've had memorized for years and know that I'm not going to get away from him moving in now.
"What up, sexy? We just got to the bar, want to come?"
"No. I just had a delivery waiting for me outside my door."
"That's it, Maya, no more! I'll be there in a couple hours. I'm moving in. Set the alarms. Did you keep them?" I can tell he's agitated and upset with my defiance to letting him stay, but he's right, this is getting out of hand.
"Derek, I checked everything, I'm good. But, okay, you can move in."
"See you later, sexy. Be careful. Call Dad and let him know." I hang up and know that my life is changing, and not for the better. My stalker has finally gone to the next level.
I dial Greg's number and hope he can keep this secret too.
"Hello, I saw you on the news. Excellent shot. What’s up, sweetheart?" he says, and I know he is going to go all protective on me now.
"I had a delivery waiting at my door. There's a ribbon tied around them this time."
"Did you bag them without touching them?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Is Derek heading that way?"
"He'll be here shortly. Can we keep this quiet?"
"Not for much longer, sweetheart. I'll be over in the morning. Get some rest. Love you, kiddo."
"Thank you." I hang up and head for the fridge.
I pull out the stuff to make a sandwich when my cell phone starts ringing. I see the caller ID, hear the ringtone, and cringe.
"Hello." Indifferent is how I'll pull this off.
"What the fuck do you mean friends? Are you cracking up, Maya?
Have you lost your bloody mind? Because I'm not giving up on us.
That girl was trying to make her boyfriend jealous and paid the paparazzi to take a picture.
I swear on everything holy if you were here, I'd spank your arse for even thinking those words. "
"Girl? That was no girl. That was a full-fledged wet dream. The picture clearly shows you with your arms around her. She's looking at you like you hung the fucking moon! I've had a horrible day and I just want to eat a sandwich, run on the treadmill, and try to go to bed," I yell back at him.
"No, you're not getting out of this. I've been trying to call you all day. I'm not going to let you run. I was shot at and took one in the vest. I also saw my girlfriend on CNN in a hostage situation."
"What?" I scream into the phone, my legs give out as I fall to the floor and start breathing slowly. He can't die; he can't leave me too. One minute I want him out of my life and the next I can't live without him.
"Maya! Baby, calm down! I'm okay. The vest took it. The boyfriend thought he was going to get rid of his competition. What happened to you today? The news only said a female sniper stopped the situation." He sounds calmer than I feel. I feel like the bottom fell out of my world.
"I had to shoot the perp today in front of his kids," I murmur. I don't want to tell him about my stalker. "Duncan, are you really okay?" My voice sounds shaky and whiney to my ears.
"Baby, I swear I'm okay. Tell me more about what happened to you today, and then I'll explain what happened to me." His voice sounds so calm and soothing. This is what I needed, to tell someone about my day. To talk through how I feel.
"I shot a father in front of his toddler after he pointed the gun at the little guy. This is after the father killed the mother. I almost left both of those children without parents, hair to the right or lower and he'd be dead. I'm becoming the monster I fight." I sigh loudly.
"Maya, baby, you're not a monster. It sounds like a justified shot. Explain to me why you think you're a monster."
"I was called to the scene after the mother was murdered and he barricaded himself in the home.
Little did we know he wanted to die too.
The perp had his toddler boy in his arms and a baby girl sleeping in a crib.
At first, I didn't understand how he saw me, but later we found out he had a radio tuned to our frequency, so he knew when I got on scene.
Of course, he wasn't waiting personally for me, he just wanted to die.
Suicide by cop. He wanted me to kill him.
He put the little boy down, stepped back, took aim, and waited for me to shoot him.
I ended up shooting him just to the right, between his second and third ribs, and fracturing his shoulder blade.
The bullet did ricochet and puncture his lung, but he'll live.
He dropped the gun. During the post-briefing, he called from the hospital demanding to talk to me.
He refused surgery until I'd speak to him.
He was going to die without it, so I spoke to him. "
"What did he want?" Duncan asks quietly.
"He wanted to know why I didn't kill him. He said he deserved to die and I was supposed to be his executioner. He said if I'd been a man, he'd be dead." I feel raw telling him this, but at least I don't feel like I can't breathe anymore.
"Baby, you made the right call. What did you tell him?"
"I told him that it wasn't my job to be judge and jury.
Even though he's probably going to spend the rest of his life in prison, his children would have at least one parent alive.
I said as a person who lost her parents to violence, he's lucky it was me looking through that scope at him and not a man.
His children would be able to ask him why the hell he did it, and they could maybe learn about their mother from someone who at some point must have loved her.
I told him I wasn't going to leave his children orphaned, that's his choice.
Then I told him to grow the fuck up, put on his big girl panties, have surgery, and rehabilitate himself. "
"Maya, it was a justified and clean shot. By leaving him alive, he'll face what he did."
"Duncan, what happened with that model? I don't share and I don't want to be in a relationship based on lies."
"I swear nothing happened. I go to bed at night thinking of only one woman…
you. I think of you all the time. I can't wait until I see you.
I'm gutted that this spoiled girl has hurt you.
She threw herself into my arms. When I looked down and saw the look in her eyes, I stepped back and told her I have a girlfriend.
She laughed and said probably not after this, then pointed to the photographer.
I got so angry I had Ian take over the close protection while I took the background.
I wanted to call you before the pictures came out, but she demanded we fly to Milan.
While we were there, we took her shopping, and ran into her boyfriend.
He pulled a gun and shot me in the vest. I broke his hand.
The whole time she's telling him how proud she is of him for sticking up and fighting for her. I hate games."
"I'm sorry. I just saw those pictures and freaked. Wait, did you call me your girlfriend?"
"Bugger off! Yes, Maya, you are my girlfriend, at least, I hope you are. I miss you and want to be with you. Joshua pulled us from the detail and told her father we weren't in the business of paparazzi shots. The father is mad at her."
"Duncan, I'm not sure about this. We've not seen each other since September. I can't do relationships. I've been told I'm bad at them."
"Baby, we will make this work. I promise. Just, next time, let me explain before you try to break it off. Why'd you not let me earlier?"
"All I saw was that model looking at you like I wanted to, she's where I wanted to be. I got so jealous, I actually thought of killing her. I thought you got tired of waiting for me. Plus, every time I've tried to come see you, you make an excuse or change your mind."
"Baby, I didn't change my mind. I want to see you so bad.
The client kept having us travel around.
Believe me, I want to see you. I'm tired of using my hand to get off because I keep remembering our last weekend together.
I want to actually take you to dinner again and walk hand in hand with you in public. "
I want all those things too. Maybe more, but I can't tell him. He'll run for the hills and I can't jeopardize his life by being with me. Plus, I can't share my darkness yet.
"Baby, are you there?" he interrupts my thoughts.
"Oh, sorry, I was thinking how nice a date sounds."
"Do you know how close I was to getting on a plane and coming to you today?
Joshua made me stop because he has me moving to another detail in Paris so I can have the whole Christmas break off with you.
When I saw you on the news and saw your partner, I was so upset and then your text. Baby, don't do that to me again."
"You know Derek is only my partner and friend."
"I know. Have you bought your ticket yet?"
"Got it on hold, I'm trying to figure this all out."
"Figure out what? Just bloody buy it."
"Well, I'm going to have to do the night flights again so I'll be in early in the morning.
I want to spend time with you as we planned without the family knowing, but Ana knows the schedules better than I do.
Would you like to spend the whole day with me at my hotel before we make an appearance at your father's on Saturday for brunch?
That's the day that Ana wants me to fly in. "
"Of course, I want to spend the day with you. Tell me when and I'll be there to pick you up."
"Well, I work week on, week off, and I get off at 1700 on Thursday, December twentieth. I'll land the twenty-first at 0730. Okay?"
"Buy it, baby, I can't wait to see you. How long will you be able to stay?"
"If you can stand it, I fly home on January fifth."
"Can you afford to take that much time off?"
"Of course, I have plenty of time banked." I cringe and hope he isn't asking about my money situation, he and I have never discussed money. I don't tell many people I don't hurt for money.
"I can't wait to see you."
"Okay, I'll get everything booked if you're sure about this?"
"Baby, I've never been more sure of anything."
"Okay, I gotta go. I need to eat and work out. Hopefully, I'll be able to sleep."
"You do sound tired. I'll see you soon. I'll text you tomorrow. Take care, baby." He pauses before the last part.
"Take care, Big Guy."
I'm still sitting on the floor and not sure if I want to get up. I'm actually not hungry anymore. I stand up, put the food away, and head to bed.
"Maya, darling, wake up, there's been an accident."
"Accident?" I ask.
"Yes, they're all dead, and you could have stopped it if you hadn't been a spoiled child."
"You killed my daddy!"
"You let my mommy die!"
"You're mine, forever. I'll kill all that stand in my way."
I come awake with a start. Shit, more nightmares.
It's been months since I had these nightmares.
Why? I roll over, my room is dark, and I look at the clock.
3:00 a.m. Well crap, no sleep for me now.
I'm getting ready to have my off week, one more day then I'll take a sleeping pill to sleep tomorrow.
I get up, head for the living room where my treadmill is, and run like the devil is chasing me. I have my headphones in with Skillet’s “Monster” playing loudly. I know Derek is in the spare room sleeping.
I've tried therapy and everything else. Until I learn to relax at night without the dread or nightmares, this is my life.
I was able to fall asleep with Duncan every time we've been together, before that, only his sister could get me to relax enough to sleep.
When Carl and I dated in college, I couldn't sleep with him either. He thought I was crazy.