Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
MAYA
I'm sitting at the bar in Duncan's kitchen nursing my coffee. I woke up early after another nightmare—this one was different from the usual, Ana was screaming for me to help her.
I left Duncan sleeping and ran on the treadmill in the study. I tried to sort out why my nightmare changed, something set me off last night. I’ve been spoiled. Although I do feel safe in his arms and want to stay with him, I can't. I can't expose him to my problems.
I need to figure out what I'm going to do about the Joshua revelation. If Duncan knew, he'd kill him. I also know that Joshua had his chance and ruined it. That explains Ana's behavior at lunch yesterday.
I decide to text Greg and check in with him.
Me
Lawrence is following me.
Greg
Okay. What do you want to do?
Me
I have an idea. I'll be in touch.
Greg
I'm in meetings all day and have an event tonight.
Me
What event?
Greg
Can't tell you. Love you, sweetheart.
I hate it when he gets all secretive with me.
I continue to sit here at the bar, waiting until a decent hour in the States to call the condo association about the doorman problem.
This latest fuck up with him is probably going to cost him his job, but I don't like just anybody having access to my home.
I need to be on guard because of my job and now this second stalker.
I also have been a bit paranoid through the years.
I sense movement and look to my left where the bedrooms are located near the front door hallway.
I expect Duncan to be looking for me. Instead, Joshua walks out of the guest room.
He's in a pair of low-slung shorts and nothing else.
His chest is chiseled and full of muscles.
He might be the boss, but he's in as good of shape as Duncan. I cough so I don't startle him.
"Oh, hey! Um, I guess I ruined your night, sorry." He coughs.
"You stay here often?" I want to say more. I want to question him.
"Yes, even though my condo is a couple of floors up, sometimes I sleep it off here."
"You go on benders a lot?"
"Not really!" He sounds defensive.
"Really, that's all you're going to say, Lieutenant?" I sneer, I know I'm a bitch, but damn him.
He fucked it all up and now he must feel guilty or something to go on this many benders. He stops at my statement and looks at me carefully. He then looks back toward the master bedroom.
"Don't worry, Duncan doesn't know. I didn't tell him, but if you get her hurt, I'll end you."
"Got it." He walks into the kitchen and reaches for a coffee mug, exposing his left side, and I gasp. He turns to look at me.
"What are you fucking looking at?" he growls. Guess I deserved that.
"Hey, wanker, don't talk to my girl like that," Duncan growls from the hallway. He's in a pair of shorts and bare-chested too. Joshua and I turn to stare at him and then each other.
"Sorry, Maya," Joshua grumbles.
"Sorry, Joshua," I say back.
"Baby, you don't need to apologize to him." Duncan walks up behind me to wrap his arms around me. I lean back into his body. Wait, I can't become comfortable in his arms. I pull back and try to pull out of his arms, but he pulls me in tighter.
"Yes, I do need to apologize. I made a bitch comment before you came in. Joshua, beautiful tattoo," I say to let Joshua know I saw it.
Maybe he still cares.
"Thanks. Good coffee, who made this?" Joshua is looking around like there's someone else here.
"I did. Just because I'm a tomboy doesn't mean I can't cook. I just choose not to cook. But coffee, that's a science I know very well." Both of them laugh at me.
"So what are you two's plans for the day?" Joshua asks us as he tips his cup up for a sip.
"I need to go to my depository so I can get into my safety deposit box.
I also need to call the damn condominium association, and I have a hair appointment.
Then, for your information, I'm going to seduce my boyfriend, seeing as how we were interrupted last night.
We also need to decorate our Christmas tree. Is that okay with you?"
"Jesus, Maya, TMI." Joshua laughs as he sputters his coffee.
"Safety deposit box?" Duncan asks as he steps around the counter to pour himself a cup.
"Yes. Most of my mother's jewelry is in it. I want to wear some of it tonight. Plus, I need to exchange some paperwork from the attorney yesterday."
"Care to share?" Duncan is looking at me hopefully.
Share? Me? Can I do this without raising red flags?
I'm aware I hurt him the other day at the solicitor's office, but I didn't want him to know yet.
Plus, I wasn't sure how he'd react to how I'm helping Ana; I need her to be safe.
Just as I'm about to answer, my phone chimes with “Welcome to the Jungle.” I know who’s texting me.
I look at the message and cringe with worry.
Greg
Lawrence isn't either of your stalkers. We got nothing back from the search of your condo. I also got a delivery of dead roses here at the hotel.
Me
I'm sorry to pull you into this. Leave London, now. I'll see you soon.
Greg
No! I'll not leave you to this lunatic. Be careful, please.
Me
I will.
I look up to see both Duncan and Joshua watching me. How do I explain this? I don't share well.
"Well, first, before I share, Joshua I want to hire Securities International."
"Why?" they both say at the same time.
"You two are funny talking together like that, do that much?" I laugh. "Don't worry, I can pay. I'm going to need several complex background checks done. I'm considering surveillance too. How much?"
"Maya, what else is going on? Who's texting you? I know it isn't Derek, unless you changed his ringtone." Duncan is getting angry.
I didn't talk to him about this, but I know now that Ana is in danger and I need to protect her. I also know that my stalker is escalating if he's sending stuff to Greg.
Joshua ignores Duncan. "I can do it for free if you were my employee." His reply is so matter-of-fact.
"I have a job. I don't want to be asked again. If I wanted a job, I'd come to you. For that fucking matter, I can go to your competition. I'm not playing around here. Don't push me again!" I'm angry now, I'm sick of this shit. Why do I have to give up my life? Why do I have to end my dreams?
"Bloody hell, Maya, I was just making the offer, but if you want to do this, meet me at the office in an hour, or for that matter, take me, I don't have my vehicle."
"Maya, explain this to me, now." Duncan is outraged.
Well, too fucking bad.
"Fine, go shower. See you shortly. As for you, honey, I'll discuss this with you at the office too. For your information, that was Greg, nothing turned up in the search of my condo. Also, if you pressure someone else to offer me a job or push me again, I’ll leave.
Got it? No, ifs, ands, or buts about it, I'll be gone.
" I don't tell him about Greg's delivery.
"Bloody hell!" He storms from the room. Joshua walks into the spare room and then leaves with his clothes in his arms. I can't believe I lost my shit that way.
I wanted to yell and rail at Duncan. He wants me to sacrifice my life in DC for him.
I stop and pause as a troubling thought comes to mind.
Is he trying to ask for something longer than boyfriend-girlfriend?
My chest constricts and I feel like I can't breathe.
I can't and won't hurt him that way. Damn it! I call Derek.
"Hey, sexy, how's it hanging?" He always makes me smile.
"I think I'm fucking it up already. He wants me to get a job here and I got mad at him. I don't want to leave my job yet. I have more to do. I can't leave you or Greg. I can't put him in danger if my stalker does follow me."
"Listen, Maya, you need to make that decision.
Dad and I will be okay without you. You and I both know our job is making us both unhappy.
We thought we were making a difference, instead we're helping those we fight.
As for your stalker, I hope we can finally get that under control soon.
Love doesn't happen all the time. Is that what this is? "
"I don't know, maybe. My chest hurts because he's in the shower and mad at me right now. I feel like I'm going to pass out."
"Ya, that sounds close. Take it from someone who lost it all, don't let it slip through your fingers."
"Derek, I can't trust myself or someone else again. You know where I'll go if I lose him. I couldn’t handle his death, too." I rub my watch against my wrist and worry about killing someone else.
"Maya, let go and fall. I need to go, take care, sexy."
"What're you up to?" I ask, sure I know the answer.
"Today is the twenty-fourth, I have my yearly date. Maybe someday I won’t feel the need to go through this." He sounds so lost.
"Be careful. I'm here if you need me. Call our friend if it gets bad. Bye." I hang up and think of all he has lost and all I've lost. Can I really take that chance with Duncan?
I'm standing by the windows looking out at nothing. My head drops and I feel the pain as if it were yesterday. I killed them.
"Derek on the phone again?" Duncan asks from behind me. I raise my head and turn.
"Yep. It’s the anniversary today and he's hurting; plus, I needed to talk to him."
"So you can speak to him but not me?" He sounds jealous and angry.
"Sometimes. He's my sounding board, and my best friend. He's hurting bad today; I'm usually there for him."
"You keep telling me not to worry. But then you say things like that. In a relationship, the other person is your sounding board. What am I?"
"I've known him since I was nineteen. Please don't be jealous of him, I don't think of him that way. I've explained to you that he and Greg have been a part of my life for a long time. Your father introduced us all."
"But he thinks of you that way."
"No, he doesn't. He sees me as an annoying little sister."
"All men look at you and think that, baby. You aren't only gorgeous, but you're very special. Trust me, I'm male and I watch how other men look at you."
"Well, thank you, but no, he doesn't look at any woman that way. Not anymore. Maybe someday he'll see someone, but not today."
"He into guys?"
"No. He lost everything, and I mean everything, on Christmas Eve many years ago. He doesn't see any woman but her."
"Oh, bloody hell, that's got to hurt. I can't imagine his pain."
"Yep, please don't ever tell him I said anything. It's why he became a cop. Like myself, he wants to keep others from feeling what we do." Duncan walks to me and pulls me into his arms.
"Okay, baby. I just want you to talk to me. You keep yourself so closed off. I want to be your sounding board too." He leans down and kisses the top of my head. Joshua walks back into the flat.
"All ready to go?"
"Yes," Duncan says, taking my hand. I grab my purse as we walk out.
We hit the depository first in Knightsbridge.
I got Mother’s ring and earrings, put in the new power of attorney and will, and pulled out some of the stashed cash.
I want this off the books. I look into the bottom of the box and see my father's Commando Bowie knife.
I pull it out and look at it carefully. I test the weight, it's heavier than my other knife, but I feel close to him holding it.
Maybe it'll remind me why I can't let Duncan get close.
I worry about the danger Greg is in now because of me.
I don't want Duncan’s or Greg's families to go through what I'm going through now.
I can't let that happen. I put the knife into my right cowboy boot, as my personal knife is in my left.
It is bulkier, but I don't have any other place to carry it.
Duncan has asked me not to walk around armed and I'm trying, so I only carry knives instead of my gun. Until this stalker is taken care of, I'll be armed at all times. He'll have to understand this part of me if he wants to be with me.