Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Two days later, Snow came down to break his fast, dressed in his mourning black. It was the first day he’d had enough strength to get out of bed. But he had to. Later that morning, they would place Vor into the ground beside his papa’s grave.
Snow was numb. He didn’t want to eat, but he forced himself to eat a slice of toast with jam, more to quell the queasiness of his stomach.
It was all it could handle. He felt the many stares on him and heard bits of pity-filled whispers, comparing him to his father who’d lost his true love too soon, too.
Most of those attached to those whispers had never met Vor alive.
They didn’t know that Snow’s loss was far greater than they imagined.
Vor was a giant of a man, inside and out.
His heart was the biggest part of him. Sadly it no longer beat.
Nor did Snow’s. He was the walking dead.
He simply wanted it over so he could crawl into bed and sleep months away, finally awakening when he was no longer in pain.
He wanted to tell the kingdom about the beautiful brute who’d saved his life and shown him the love he’d never thought might exist for him.
“Snow, I was thinking,” his father said. “After hearing the story of how Shen, Hwa, and Owan protected you from the wizard—perhaps they should become your Guardsmen. It’s well past time you had your own.”
“They’re not my Guard,” Snow said, barely recognizing his own voice. “They’re my lovers.”
Whispers circled the room, and he saw anger in his father’s face. He didn’t care if his father was angry. At least he felt something.
Snow sure as hell didn’t.
“Snow,” his father warned.
“They put their lives in danger to rescue me. They can remain in my bed for as long as they wish,” Snow replied. “Without them, I might wither and die from the loss of my Vor.”
“You won’t have three lovers sharing your bed without a mate,” his father snapped.
“I’ve lost too much,” Snow spat. “I won’t lose another thing. Accept it, or we’ll leave. I’ll travel the world with them instead.” Snow chuckled, the sound empty. “Sounds better than my plan to stay abed for the rest of my days.”
The king rose. “For now—you can have your playthings. But I won’t allow this to continue long.”
His father stormed off. Snow could care less what anyone thought of him. He needed Owan, Hwa, and Shen. They’d not left his side since losing Vor. He wouldn’t send them away in the moments he needed them most.
“You cared not what I did when the Prince Consort was here,” Snow said to his father’s retreating back.
The king froze.
“I was under his spell.” He slowly turned to Snow.
“I would never turn my back to you on purpose.” He meandered closer, contemplative.
“I, too, have lost a great love, and I know how much it hurts.” Tears shone in his eyes.
“The spell caused my grief to fade but now that it’s broken, I feel your papa’s loss all over again, fresh, like it happened just yesterday. ”
He closed the gap between them. “If these men make you feel safe, so be it. But I don’t have to like it. You’re a prince of the realm, and there are expectations.”
“I don’t care about expectations,” Snow said.
“I will live and love as I choose, free from the constraints of this court. I won’t be passed to a pampered prince for political gain, not when the man I love goes into the ground this very afternoon.
A man I was sent into the arms of when your Prince Consort tried to have me murdered, I might add. ”
The king winced. “I was bewitched, Snow. You cannot blame me for my actions trapped in the Prince Consort’s web.”
“I shall just accept all the pain and forgive it away?” Snow asked.
His father was silent several seconds. “I am sorry for all you’ve gone through, but I am not the villain here, Snow. I have lost much, as well.” Tears shone in his eyes again. “And it feels as if I’m losing my son again, the only piece I have left of the man I truly love.”
“I feel lost to myself right now,” Snow admitted. “Perhaps I’ll find myself in time.”
His father cupped his cheek. “Time heals all wounds. For your sake, I hope it’s sooner than later. Just promise that you won’t push me away before that day comes, hmm?”
Snow nodded. “I’ll try.”
“All I can ask.”
His father left the dining room, and multiple courtiers left with him.
All that was left behind was Shen, Owan, Hwa, and a few servants—and Snow, of course.
Hwa tried to comfort him, but Snow pulled away.
He didn’t want comfort. The pain he now felt was the first true emotion he’d felt since right after Vor’s passing.
He wanted to ache. He wanted that suffering.
Excusing himself, he raced from the dining room and ran through the castle like he’d done as a small child, reckless and free.
Tears streamed down his face as he ran, emotion finally allowed released.
Breathless, he stopped for a moment. He gazed to the side and noticed he’d stopped near the chapel—where Vor’s body had been laid out for the service.
Snow walked closer, more tears coming and blurring his vision.
Vor lay in a glass coffin, wearing regal clothes that seemed odd for him.
Snow could almost laugh, knowing Vor would’ve hated such finery.
His body had been thoroughly cleaned and a thin, almost transparent layer of white silk placed over his face.
“We didn’t have long enough, Vor. I barely knew you, yet I feel this loss so deeply.” He peeled the silk away from Vor’s face and caressed his cheek. After pressing his lips to Vor’s, tears streamed down his cheeks again. One dropped onto Vor’s lower lip. “I love you, Vor.”
He lowered his head to kiss the teardrop away.
“I love you, too.”
Snow gasped, opening his eyes and lifting his head.
Vor stared up at him, eyes barely open in thin slits.
He raised a hand to his chest, near where the largest bolt of magic had struck.
“I feel like death warmed over. What in the hell hit me?” He glanced down at himself, clearly noting the quickly made finery Snow had insisted his mate be buried in. “What am I wearing?”
Snow couldn’t answer.
He passed out from the shock.