Chapter 2
2
‘You still haven’t done anything about these awful curtains, I see,’ Margaret Dunlop said with a sniff as Sadie closed the door behind her. The curtains in question had been purchased as part of a hasty sweep around the local discount furnishings warehouse just after Sadie had moved into the little two-up, two-down terrace a few months ago when all that had mattered was having something to cover the windows. It had been all she could afford and still retain some savings. The monthly maintenance Pete had agreed to didn’t quite cover everything so she’d found some admin work close to her new home. It was only three days a week and she shared the role with a woman who hadn’t wanted to come back full-time after maternity leave, but it gave Sadie just that extra bit of financial security while stopping her from going completely stir crazy. The people there were friendly enough, but Sadie had so far kept herself to herself and the mostly younger crowd hadn’t pushed her to join in.
Pete had used his share to buy a villa in Spain, reasoning that he and Gemma could use Gemma’s house on the few occasions they were back in the UK. Sadie hadn’t been able to face bringing much from the old house after they’d sold up. There were simply too many memories, too many reminders of what she’d had and lost – or rather Pete had taken away from her.
‘At least wait until you’ve got your coat off before you start moaning, Gran,’ Katie chided, unzipping her own jacket and hooking it over the end of the stairs. ‘Hello, Mum, something smells good.’
Avoiding eye contact with her mother, Sadie leaned forward to kiss Katie’s cheek. ‘Hello, love. Thanks for fetching your gran, I really appreciate it. How was the traffic?’
‘Bloody awful. A couple of flakes of snow and everyone turns into an idiot.’ Katie smoothed a hand over the pink polo-neck she was wearing with pale blue jeans and black Ugg boots. ‘I hope it stops soon or we’ll all be stranded here, which would be the last thing you want!’
Sadie rather thought she’d be delighted to have both Katie and her older brother, Jake, snowed in with her. Not for long, but a couple of hours just the three of them would be bliss. It wasn’t something she ever gave voice to though as they had their own families now and it was enough that they continued to give up a few hours of their precious time every other weekend so she didn’t have to face Sunday lunch with her mother alone.
That was something else Pete had left her to deal with – he’d been the one always keen on playing happy families and insisting everyone get together. At first it had been every Sunday and Sadie had come to loathe the smell of roasting meat as she sweated in the kitchen to turn out a huge meal while Pete played the good host and dished out a few bowls of nibbles and looked after the drinks. As the kids had grown up and begun to claim their independence it had reduced to once a fortnight. Once they’d moved out, the children’s presence at the table had grown even scarcer because somehow they had managed to ‘accidentally’ double-book themselves more often than not. Sadie hadn’t blamed them in the least for wanting to live their own lives, had even dreamed of making her own plans to avoid it though never had the courage to follow through. Even with Jake and Katie absent more often than not, Pete had failed to take the hint and continued to collect Margaret like clockwork.
Now he’d gone, but Margaret still expected to be hosted and Sadie hadn’t found the wherewithal to stand up to her, not when she’d been barely holding herself together at the seams as she tried to get to grips with her new reality. It was too much to expect the children to continue trying to be a buffer between them so come the new year things were going to be different. Sadie was going to make some changes, even if the thought of it made the little girl deep inside her quail at the idea of standing up to her mother.
‘What can I do?’ Katie asked as she cast a glance towards the kitchen.
‘Nothing, darling, thank you, Jake’s got it all in hand. Go on through and make yourself comfortable and I’ll sort out some drinks.’ Because she’d put it off long enough, Sadie forced herself to turn and meet her mother’s disapproving gaze. ‘Sherry, Mum?’
‘As long as it’s not that cheap supermarket muck you tried to fob me off with last time.’ Margaret held out her coat and scarf. ‘On a hanger, please.’
‘Of course. Go on through to the sitting room.’
‘Sitting room? There’s barely room to swing a cat in there. I still don’t understand why you had to give up the house in Bayden Drive for this pokey little hovel.’
Katie stuck her head back round the sitting room door. ‘I know you’re getting on a bit, Gran, but did you forget the bit about Pete the Perv shagging off with another woman?’
Sadie bit her lip to hold in a laugh at the mention of the awful nickname the children had coined for their father, while her mother sputtered in disgust. ‘Of course I haven’t forgotten. I’m just disappointed that your mother showed her usual lack of backbone and let him walk all over her.’
‘I’ll get that sherry,’ Sadie said, turning on her heel before her mother could settle into a full tirade of all her faults. Jake met her coming the other way, his overlong fringe flopping into his eyes, a large dark stain on the front of the blue and white striped butcher’s apron he was wearing to protect his red and white checked flannel shirt.
‘How’s the dragon?’ he murmured with a wicked grin.
‘Don’t call her that,’ Sadie said automatically, before pulling a face. ‘Fire-breathing as usual.’
‘Chin up, only two hours to go.’ Jake took the coat from her and tossed it along with the scarf in the understairs cupboard, shutting the door as Sadie squawked in protest. ‘Leave it, she won’t even notice. Come on, I’ve got a bottle open.’ He took Sadie’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen before she could retrieve the coat and hang it properly.
The smell of rich tomato sauce and garlic filled the tiny kitchen with the familiar warming scent of Jake’s favourite spaghetti bolognese. That was one change Sadie had implemented after Pete left – no more roast bloody dinners, although she’d have to make an exception for Christmas lunch, she supposed.
A bottle of red wine stood open on the counter, a half-drunk glass next to it. Jake topped it up then poured a second generous measure into a glass that he thrust into Sadie’s hand. ‘Cheers!’
Sadie clinked their glasses together. ‘Cheers, my lovely, lovely boy. You and Katie shouldn’t have to give up your precious Sundays, you know.’ She would still make an effort to see her mother, but they could go out for lunch instead. Margaret was all about appearances and tended to hold her tongue more in public so that in itself would be a relief. And if her mother didn’t like the change of plans? Well, then Sadie would take herself out for lunch instead. Or to the spa, maybe? When was the last time she’d pampered herself? Turning, she caught a brief glimpse of her reflection in the mirror hanging in the hallway opposite and winced. Forget the spa, a trip to the hairdresser’s needed to be top of her new year agenda.
‘As if we’re going to leave you to face the dragon alone! Besides, it’s only for a couple of hours. Rachel and Liam have taken the kids to the pictures and we’re meeting them later at Pizza Express.’
‘That sounds lovely. I’ve got presents in the spare bedroom for you to take back with you. It’ll be chaos here trying to squeeze everyone in for lunch on Christmas Day as it is.’ Sadie honestly didn’t know how she was going to manage it, but she wanted to give the grandchildren a little bit of normality.
‘Um, about that.’ Jake took her glass and set it down the counter next to his own. ‘Hang on a sec.’ He stuck his head out of the kitchen door and bellowed down the hallway. ‘Katie, come and give us a hand!’
Katie appeared a couple of seconds later. ‘Thank God you rescued me! Gran was doing my head in moaning about everything and everyone.’ She turned to Sadie. ‘Did you pour her a sherry?’
‘Not yet.’ Sadie bent to open the cupboard where she kept the bottles she’d wanted from Pete’s extensive drinks cabinet. Perhaps one day she’d feel guilty about selling his fancy whisky collection via a local auction house – perhaps not.
‘Leave that a minute,’ Jake said, pressing his leg against the cupboard. ‘Come and sit down, Mum. There’s something Katie and I want to talk to you about.’
‘I thought we were doing this later,’ Katie said, keeping her voice hushed as she shot a glance towards the open kitchen door.
Jake shook his head. ‘Mum’s already fretting about feeding everyone on Christmas Day. It’s not fair to keep her worrying about it.’
Sadie looked between the two of them. ‘I appreciate you two worrying about me, but it’s only one meal. It’ll be a bit tight but we’ll manage somehow.’ The truth suddenly dawned on her and, though her heart clenched, she kept her voice light. ‘You want to go to your dad’s for Christmas. I should’ve realised.’ Spending Christmas in a Spanish villa with its own swimming pool, or squeezing around her tiny kitchen table? It wasn’t really a choice.
‘No!’
‘God, no!’
It was gratifying how quickly they responded, but Sadie felt a pang of guilt too. Pete hadn’t left them, he’d left her and he’d always been a great father. She appreciated their loyalty, but she didn’t want her situation to permanently poison their relationship with him. ‘If you wanted to go, I wouldn’t blame you and I’d never try and stop you. He’s still your dad at the end of the day. And don’t worry about me, I’ll manage just fine on my own.’ A quiet couple of weeks with her feet up might not be so bad. She could catch up on her reading pile and indulge herself in all the Christmas movies she wanted. She could even go shopping in the sales and buy some new curtains.
‘He’s a selfish git,’ Katie snapped. She sighed then shook her head. ‘We don’t want you to have to manage, Mum. You’ve been so bloody brilliant these past few months. I honestly don’t know how you’ve held it all together.’
Sadie smiled at her daughter, feeling a little watery as she raised one shoulder in a shrug. ‘There didn’t seem much point in doing otherwise.’ The few times she’d let herself give in and cry she’d just ended up feeling tired and terrible while still having the same awful mess to sort out. ‘Besides, I decided your father didn’t deserve any more of my tears.’
‘And he doesn’t.’ Jake put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick hug. She felt tiny tucked up against his big, broad frame. ‘I remember when you were little enough to pick up,’ she said as she looked up at him. ‘What happened to my baby boy?’
Jake grinned. ‘I’m still here, Mum.’
Leaning against him, Sadie held out her hand to Katie. ‘However things ended, I’ll never regret a day I spent with your father because we raised two of the very best people in the world.’
‘Oh, Mum.’ Katie curled an arm around Sadie’s waist so she was standing between them. ‘The reason we won’t be spending Christmas Day here with you is because you won’t be here.’
Sadie shot her a bemused look. ‘Oh, really? Where exactly do you think I’ll be instead?’
Letting go of her, Jake turned to where he’d slung his jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs earlier and pulled something out of the pocket. He handed it to Sadie. Intrigued, she unfolded a flyer for a twelve days of Christmas event at somewhere called Juniper Meadows. ‘What’s this?’
Katie squeezed her waist. ‘It’s our gift to you. Two weeks at a luxury hotel and spa in the Cotswolds.’
‘The activities are optional, but they have a really good reputation as an artists’ retreat and we thought you’d enjoy that,’ Jake added. ‘Plus you’d travel down on the Thursday so you won’t even need to take any time off work.’
Sadie couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. ‘I haven’t done art for years!’
‘I know, but you used to love it. I still remember how much fun you had helping with our school projects. Just imagine it, Mum. You won’t have to lift a finger and they’ve got acres of beautiful grounds to explore. You can wrap up warm and walk as much as you want.’
It did sound wonderful. ‘But what about you guys?’
Jake and Katie exchanged a look. ‘The four of us have talked about it and we’d really like Christmas in our own homes for once. We’ve always shuttled the kids between you and Dad and their other grandparents. That wasn’t so bad when they were younger, but we’d like to make some memories at home for a change.’
‘Liam’s already ordered matching onesies for us and Isla,’ Katie said with a grin.
Sadie laughed. ‘You’ll have to promise to send me a photo.’ She turned to include Jake. ‘Lots of photos.’
‘We promise. And you’ll have to do the same. You’ll be back on the Thursday before New Year’s and Rachel wants to have everyone for lunch that Friday so we can celebrate together then.’
‘It sounds like you’ve got everything all planned out.’
Katie frowned. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’
‘Oh, darling, of course not! Honestly, it sounds absolutely wonderful, but are you sure you can afford it?’
Her daughter shot her what could only be described as an evil grin. ‘Pete the Perv sent us both some money for Christmas and told us to spend it on whatever we wanted, and we all decided that we wanted to spend it on you.’
‘Then it’s all settled.’
‘What’s all settled?’
Sadie’s joy drained away as she met her mother’s unsmiling gaze. ‘We… ah, we were just making plans for Christmas, Mum.’
Margaret sniffed. ‘Well, I hope you’re not expecting me to spend it cooped up here with you in this awful rabbit hutch. I’ve already made plans to visit Celia in Harrogate, so you’ll just have to manage without me.’
Katie leapt into action before Sadie had the chance to say anything. ‘That sounds brilliant, Gran! Here, let me sort out that sherry for you and you can tell me all about it.’
Once she and Jake were alone in the kitchen, Sadie turned to face her son. ‘Which one of you called Aunty Celia, and what did you have to promise her?’
Jake’s grin was entirely unrepentant. ‘I did. Rachel and I are taking the boys to stay with her at Easter and we’ve already booked Bettys tea rooms to treat her.’
‘You really have thought of everything.’ Though they’d taken her by surprise, it was touching how much effort both he and Katie had gone to.
Jake frowned, reaching out to put an arm around her shoulders. ‘None of this is set in stone, Mum. If you don’t want to be on your own, then you can come to us.’
Sadie shook her head. ‘No, darling. You are right to put Rachel and the boys first.’ When he opened his mouth to protest, she placed a gentle hand on his chest. ‘Children grow up so fast that before you know it your boys will be making plans for you.’
Jake laughed. ‘It’ll be a few years yet.’
She patted his chest. ‘It’ll be here before you know it.’
His face grew serious once more. ‘I meant what I said, Mum. Rachel and I would be happy to have you.’
She picked up the leaflet Jake had shown her earlier and studied it. The front cover was dominated by a beautiful painting of a stately home surrounded by snowy fields. It looked like something out of a fairy tale. She folded the pages out, took in the opulence of the bedrooms, the gleaming marble of the spa, the classical elegance of the dining room laid out for a function. It was a million miles from her little box of a house. On the back page were images of a woodland trail covered in lights, a courtyard of little shops packed full of smiling people. Sadie imagined herself there, walking through the woods, enjoying a massage in the spa, relaxing in the heated depths of a claw-footed bathtub before dressing for dinner – a dinner she hadn’t had to lift a finger to prepare. She could please herself. Stay in bed all day reading if she wanted to, beholden to nothing and no one. It was something she’d never have dreamed of booking for herself, but now the opportunity had arisen?
‘As lovely as staying with you, Rachel and the boys would be, I’m afraid I shall have to decline as I’ll be spending Christmas at Juniper Meadows.’